New Beginnings (70 page)

***

Being in Zach’s arms felt so right, Rennie thought, kissing the forearm he had wrapped around her shoulders. They’d been talking for hours. He had asked questions about her life in Florida, and she had asked about his life in New York, where he’d spent a few seasons. She felt as if she was getting to know him all over again, but then they’d laughingly finished each other’s sentences and she realized he was the still the same guy she’d loved all those years ago.

“I missed you so much, Ren,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “So many nights, I fell asleep staring at the ceiling wondering where you were, who you were with, whether you ever thought about me.”

“I did think about you. A lot.” There were moments when she got lost in those memories. She’d always smile a little too brightly at Nathan when she caught him looking at her. She hoped he hadn’t been able to guess what she’d been thinking about.

“You said you thought about reaching out to me before Nathan died. Why didn’t you after you moved back home?”

She was ashamed to admit she’d kept tabs on Zach via the Internet. He’d dated countless beautiful women, and she just assumed his life held no place for his son. “I thought you were happy. I didn’t want to mess with that.” She felt his chest vibrate with laughter, and she smiled.

“Happy? No.” He sighed. “I shouldn’t say that. I was happy with some areas of my life. I felt good about baseball, and High Rollers has been quite a ride, but I was missing out on that life you promised me.”

She faced him. “Don’t you think I wanted that life? I did. More than anything.”

“And now?”

Could she take the risk and allow herself to fall in love with him again? She’d never stopped loving him, not really. “We have to see how things go when we tell Tyler.” She was unwilling to commit to anything until she’d helped her son through the inevitable transition.

“When can we tell him?”

“When do you want to tell him?”

He flashed a sexy grin that reminded her why every single woman in the stands lined up to get his autograph after games. “Does now work for you?”

She laughed and rolled her eyes. “No, it doesn’t. How about tomorrow?”

“Works for me. Hey, we have a game tomorrow. You guys should come.”

“That sounds like fun.” Tyler would love it. The mood in the room shifted when his gaze landed on her mouth as her tongue darted out to lick her bottom lip.

“Ren,” he said, leaning in, “if you want to kick me out on my ass, now would be the time.”

She knew he was telling her one kiss wouldn’t be enough. But did she want it to be? She didn’t have her answer until his mouth descended on hers. No, she didn’t. His kiss seemed tentative, but when she responded eagerly, it went from cautious to demanding.

Rennie closed her eyes and pretended the last ten years hadn’t happened as she allowed him to distract her with the promise of what the next few hours would bring. It had been a long time since she’d made love to Zach, but she hadn’t forgotten how he’d made her feel. His kisses were still all-consuming. They lit a fire in her belly that singed her. As he drove her into a nearly trance-like state, she clutched at his shoulders before she realized she must be causing him pain. “Oh God, Zach, I’m so sorry.”

His dark eyes looked haunted when he pulled back. “Are you telling me…?”

“No.” She couldn’t help but laugh when she realized he thought she was rejecting him. If he’d kept kissing her, she would have been the one reduced to pleading. “Your shoulder.” She dropped her head against his chest. “I was just worried about your shoulder.”

“Don’t be.” He got up, holding out his hand to help her up.

She looked at his powerful chest as her inner voice urged her to delay the inevitable until he’d recovered fully. “Maybe we should wait until—”

“I’ve been waiting ten years.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her up. “I’m not waiting another second.”

They continued kissing as they made their way down the short hallway to the master bedroom. They would have to be cognizant of Tyler sleeping just down the hall, but it wouldn’t be easy. Her body was demanding she shut out the rest of the world and just get lost in the man who seemed determined to get lost in her. She’d left the curtains open, and the moon cast a soft glow over the double bed dominating the small room. The bed seemed too small for his large frame, but she hadn’t bought it intending to share it with anyone, least of all him.

Zach laughed softly when he looked at the bed. “You’re kidding, right?”

“It’s big enough for me,” she said defensively.

“This takes me back to when I used to sneak into your bedroom when your parents were out. Making love in a bed this size was torture then. Now it’s going to be—”

“Impossible?”

He slowly unbuttoned his shirt. “Nothing is impossible if you want it badly enough.”

Rennie was practically salivating by the time he got to the last button. He’d been much younger and a little leaner the last time he’d undressed for her. He’d become broader, stronger, more powerful, and sexier than any man should have the right to be.

“Do you mind giving me a hand with this?” he asked, glancing at his shirt.

“Of course.” Moving behind him, she carefully guided it over his sore shoulder before dropping a kiss where she guessed the injury to be. She glided her mouth across his back until he shivered.

“Ren,” he whispered, tilting back his head.

Watching the man whose job it was to be focused, in control, and unflappable surrender to her so completely was exhilarating. It always had been. To the rest of the world, he was a composed athlete at the top of his game, but with her, he’d always let his guard down and shown her how deeply she affected him.

“I’ve waited so damn long for this,” he whispered as her hands glided over his chest. She stood behind him, her arms around his waist. Her hands, of their own volition, explored the body she’d branded as hers a lifetime ago. “I fantasized about having your hands on me like this again.” His voice sounded strained as she reached for his belt buckle. “I never thought it would actually happen though. I thought it was too late.”

She slid his zipper down slowly, easing his jeans over his powerful thighs and letting them fall. He wore navy boxer briefs, and his arousal was so obvious her breath caught in her throat. She hadn’t made love in a long time, and if there was one thing she remembered about her first time with Zach, it was how long her body took to adjust. She suspected it would be the same since she hadn’t been intimate in so long, it almost felt like her first time all over again. She slid her hand inside his waistband and wrapped her hand around his silky hardness as she pressed a kiss to his back.

“Jesus, Ren,” he said, reaching for her wrist. “I need a minute.” He chuckled, kicked off his jeans, and faced her. He wrapped his hands around her face. “You make me feel like I’m sixteen again. That’s how much I need you, how much I want you.”

She remembered what he’d been like as a teenager.
Insatiable.
That hadn’t changed in the ten years that followed. It was no wonder she’d gotten pregnant. They made love every chance they got, almost as though they were determined to tempt fate. Which reminded her… “Uh, Zach?” She had difficulty thinking when he reached for the zipper running down the side of her dress and kissed her shoulder. Even more difficult when he lowered his head and kissed the flesh spilling over the cups of her white strapless bra. “I’m not on the pill.”

He grinned as he reached for the clasp at the front of her bra. “It’s a little late to worry about that, don’t you think? We already have a kid.”

Rennie couldn’t forget what it cost her the first time they should have taken extra precautions and didn’t. Not that she would have done anything differently. She couldn’t imagine her life without Tyler. “Do you have a condom? Because I don’t.”

His face fell at the somberness in her tone. “Yeah, sure.” He reached for his jeans, but she beat him to them.

She handed him the jeans and asked, “Are you sure that will be enough? It wasn’t last time.”

“Baby, everything is different now.” He brushed his lips softly against hers. “I wasn’t ready to be a father then. I am now. Can’t you tell that?”

She wanted to believe that for Tyler’s sake, but she still had her reservations. Nothing, other than time, could ease her fears. “I still don’t want to take any chances. I don’t want to risk getting pregnant again.”

His dark eyes narrowed, and he looked unsettled. “Ever?”

“What?” He was upset, but she couldn’t imagine why. They were on the verge of having sex again. Couldn’t that be enough for him? Did he have to push her for more than she could give?

“Do you ever want to have another baby with me?” She stepped out of her dress and took a few steps away from him, but he was having none of it. He grabbed her wrist. “I’m not letting you walk away from me again. You need to know that.”

“I don’t know what you want from me.” She tried to avoid the eyes demanding she look at him.

“Yes, you do,” he whispered fiercely. “I want the life we planned. I want a second chance with you.”

Rennie felt as if she couldn’t breathe. One minute he wanted to be a father to his son; the next he wanted to be her lover again. Now he was telling her he still wanted to be her husband. How could she trust he was being honest? He’d said all the things she wanted to hear before and he hadn’t meant them then. Why should she believe this time was any different?

“You don’t believe me.” He sounded hurt. “I can see it in your eyes. You don’t believe me.”

Rennie expected him to get dressed, to mutter something about talking to her tomorrow as he beat a path to her front door. What she didn’t expect was for him to grab her and take her mouth as though he feared the kiss may be their last.

Zach knew he shouldn’t try to use sex to convince Rennie to take a chance on him, but at the moment, it was his only chance. He had to get closer to her, to prove to her their best days lie in the years ahead, not in the past. His hands skimmed her body like a whisper, a promise of what was to come if she found the courage to surrender to her desire. He knew she wanted him. He saw it in her eyes, felt it in her touch, tasted it in her kiss, but she was afraid. He had to convince her that he was afraid too, but he was willing to face his fears if she would meet him halfway. “It’s gonna be okay, sweetheart.” His lips glided over the curve of her shoulder. “I promise.”

“I don’t want you to make promises you can’t keep. We’ve been down that road before.”

Pretending he hadn’t heard her, he focused on diminishing her fear the only way he knew how—by loving her with everything he had. As his mouth traced her soft skin, he knew there would never be another woman for him. Rennie had haunted his dreams for a decade, and if she left him again, he would be a broken man. He closed his hand around her breast. Brushing his thumb over the taut peak, he watched her eyes drift closed as she tipped her head back, lost in the pleasure. “I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you. You need to know that.”

“Zach…”

He slid her white silk panties over her hips, urging her to step out of them. He stood back, his eyes greedily feasting on his real-life fantasy. Her body was curvier than it had been when she was a teen, but in his eyes, she was even more beautiful. Her breasts were fuller, and there was a gentle swell to her stomach. Her body had changed from the birth of their child, and he loved it even more.

Dipping her head, she seemed self-conscious as he appreciated her. “Stop,” she whispered.

“I don’t want to stop.” He kissed her gently. “I don’t ever want to stop.” He feared their first time together may be rushed and frenzied, given how much he wanted her, but her gentle nature soothed him. He would take his time loving her because they would have years to get their fill of each other.

“Being back in your arms again feels so good,” she whispered, kissing his shoulder as he nibbled her neck.

Zach knew those admissions would be slow in coming until he’d earned her trust, so he savored each and every one. In his mind, the last ten years had been a nightmare he was finally waking up from. “Feels like you never left.”

He rested one hand on her hip so as not to strain his shoulder while the other sought out her core. Nudging her legs with his knee, he encouraged her to spread them for him. He knew she felt vulnerable and exposed, so he kissed away her fears as his fingers worked her body into submission. The soft sounds slipping from her lips made him want to take her right there in the middle of the room. Every moment of intimacy they shared would work toward breaking down the walls he was desperate to kick in, so he took his time. He loved her with his mouth and his hands. He whispered the words that had been locked inside of him since the day she left him at the alter with a wedding ring and a bleeding heart.

“You make me feel so incredible,” she whispered, “like nothing else matters.”

Every sweet word she uttered felt like salve soothing the scars he thought were too old and too deep to heal. She was healing him, making him believe in forever, giving him the courage to believe in second chances and happy endings.

“You always had a piece of my heart, Zach. You need to know that.”

He eased her down on the end of her bed. He couldn’t remain standing while his legs felt like rubber. Her blond hair was spread out around her, her eyes were clouded with lust, and her body was flushed from his kisses. She had never looked more beautiful, and in that moment, she was more than his first love, more than the mother of his child. She was his destiny. Every road he’d ever traveled led him back to her.

“What are you thinking?” she asked.

“I’m thinking every tear, every sleepless night was worth it.” He slid his knee between her legs, nudging them apart. “Because I’m finally back where I belong.” She reached for his hand, but since he couldn’t support his weight on his injured shoulder, he couldn’t cover her body with his the way he wanted to.

“I find that hard to believe.” She looked into his eyes almost as though she was trying to find the truth. “I don’t ever remember seeing you cry.”