New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer

Read New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer Online

Authors: Bill Maher

Table of Contents

Title Page

Acknowledgements

Foreword

BILL MAHER A - NEW RULES

A Perfect Cliché

A Suit and Battery

AARP Yours

Abigail Van Buried

Abu Grab-Ass

Accessories after the Fact

Ad-Nauseum

Alter, Boys

Anchors Away

Aromatic Transmission

Ash Hole

To Surrogate with Love

BILL MAHER B - NEW RULES

Bad & Plenty

Bargain Bins

Bawl Game

Be Real

Bear Ass

Biker Chic

Blow Hard III: Blow Harder!

Body Shop

Booze Clues

Bore Play

Bored of the Rings

Brag Bashing

Brew Ha Ha

Bulletin Bored

Bush Whack

But Siriusly

Butt Out

Byte Me

Truth in Labeling

BILL MAHER C - NEW RULES

C3 Pee-Yew

Call Hating

Can You Hear Me Now?

Car Tune Network

Cell Lout

Center Old

Check Your Local Lispings

Checkout Whine

Chief Wannabe

Chock Full o’ Putz

Chopping Spree

Class-Holes

Closed-Mouth Session

Color Scheme

Coming-Out Party

Coming Too Soon

Corntroversy

Coronary Eatery

Crappy Meal

BILL MAHER D - NEW RULES

Defense Mechanism

Déjà View

Deliverance

Devout of His Mind

Diet-Netics

Don’t Be Hatin’

Don’t Go Greek

Don’t Play It Again, Sam

Du Jour Job

BILL MAHER E

Eddie Iz

Elimistate

Emerald Ale

Emission Impossible

Entertainment Weakly

Exit Pole

Exit, Poll

Assisted Leaving

BILL MAHER F - NEW RULES

Face Reality

Faking the Band

Fantastic Bore

Faux Paw

Fashion Police

Felonious Monks

Femoirs

Film Boff

Flat Tax

Floral Sex

Folk Off

Fool Recovery

For Your Reconsideration

Ford Galaxy

Forget Paris

Fossett Drip

Fox Populi - NEW RULE

Fresh Seamen

Friends to the End

BILL MAHER G - NEW RULES

Gas Bags

Gay-per-View

Gaydar Aid

Getting Blown

Gin Dummy

Giving Good Headlines

Glutton, Honey

Gone Fission

Got MILF?

Grandma Poses

Gun Fighters

Gyro Worship

BILL MAHER H - NEW RULES

Hair Apparent

Hajj-Podge

Hallowed Grounds

Handicrapped

Have It Yahweh

Heir Head

Hin-Don’t

Historical Blindness

Holy Matrimony

Holy Spirit

Home Chopping Network

Homicidal Namiacs

Hooked on Ebonics

Hysterical Blandness

Flee Circus

BILL MAHER I - RULES

I Do-Wop

I Hear Dead People

I Promise I’ll Be Yentl

Inky Dinky Don’t

Inside the Actors’ Ego

Internet Virus

It’s Dead, Jim

Sin-a-Plex

BILL MAHER J - NEW RULES

Jersey, Sure

Jet Blew

BILL MAHER K - NEW RULES

K-9 Jelly

Krystal Not

Kidiots - NEW RULE

Hitting below the Beltway

BILL MAHER L - NEW RULES

Lassie, Stay Home

Last Writes

Law and Order: SUV

Lemon Law

Let Freedom Jiggle

Lipstick Thespians

Lite Remark

Lost Verizon

Love Thy Neighbor

BILL MAHER M - NEW RULES

M*A*S*H Note

Magazine Racks

Makeup Artist

Man Date

Manual Stimulation

March Madness

Mass. Hysteria

Mayberry PCP

Mein Furor

MIA Culpa

Mission Implausible

Mob TV

Money for Nothing

Mother Posterior

BILL MAHER N

Name Dropping

Navy Seals

Newsweak

No Big Thing

No-Coin-Do

No Free Crunch

Nookie Monster

BILL MAHER O - NEW RULES

Only Begotten Sony

Ooh la Lame

Operation Dessert Storm

Osama Been Hidin’

Oscar Nod

Taint Misbehavin’

BILL MAHER P - NEW RULES

Pasta la Vista

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