“I’m not a big fan of deceit. I’m a psychologist. I’m here to counsel you. I deal in truths and emotions. Lying and playing games would only hurt you. I want to help. Have you ever considered taking a name? Some of your people have chosen to take names that aren’t typical. Names that reflect emotions they identify with or things they discover they love. You’re more than just a number.”
He shrugged.
He has.
She hid the smile that threatened to surface, thrilled he was finally opening up a little. In four months he’d stonewalled her at every turn. She’d even changed his session times to the last appointment of the day since she didn’t want to halt him if he ever decided to talk.
“What do you feel?”
“Annoyed. I’d like to skip coming here.”
“What would you do if you weren’t here at this moment?”
He hesitated. “You want the truth?”
“I was being honest when I said I’m not a big fan of deceit.”
“Fine. I’d probably be in my room watching more of those porn videos on the internet and releasing some…tension.”
Her cheeks warmed but she refused to show embarrassment. Sexual issues weren’t her specialty but she wouldn’t back away from the topic. “Do you release tension often? Does it help with some of your aggression issues?”
“How do you know I have any?”
“You have a chip on your shoulder, you seem to avoid interaction with most of the people here, and I was informed you tried to start a few fights with the male guards. You go out of your way to target them despite knowing they wouldn’t stand a chance against you. You’re physically superior.”
His pride was easy to read. “I know.”
It told her more about him and she liked that he had self-esteem. It was a promising step toward recovery. “Have you tried boxing? Some of your men enjoy it. It’s a great outlet to release anger.”
He cocked his head. “That’s not my idea of a good time.”
“What interests you then? I’ll see what I can do if you know of something that might work. I know everyone has internet and cable access so you can learn a lot more about the outside world.”
“I doubt you’d want to get me what I want.”
“You won’t know unless you ask.”
“Fine.” He smiled—a genuine one. “Females. I’d like to pound something but it wouldn’t be a weight bag.”
She shouldn’t have been shocked by his answer but for someone who had refused to talk to her for so long, he seemed intent on saying things to make her uncomfortable. She suspected it was on purpose.
“There are plenty of women around you, 466. Ninety percent of the staff is female and some New Species women live here.”
“Ninety percent of the human females are pregnant or just had babies. Your people know we’d never attack them so they send them here to work with us. Our females don’t want to be touched. There’s no one to fuck.”
She had no words. None.
He leaned forward to peer at her, still smiling, and suddenly rose to his feet. She pushed back in her chair, a little fearful with him standing. They were alone. She didn’t believe he’d hurt her but he seemed to want to make her squirm. He was accomplishing it quite well too.
He sniffed as he leaned down, placed his hands on her desk inches from her own and softly growled. “You have no male in your life and you aren’t pregnant.”
She swallowed hard. “You don’t know anything about my personal life. Please take your seat.”
“I can smell everything about you.” He stared deeply into her eyes. “You no longer wear that stink you called perfume and switched to organic soap.”
“I was informed that it bothers your sense of smell.”
“You had sex this morning but you were alone. Do you watch porn in your room, Dr. Yards? Do you use your fingers or do you own some of those sex toys I have seen?”
She felt the blood drain from her face.
How does he know that?
Another thought struck and she jerked her hands off the desk.
Can every client I’ve seen today tell I’ve masturbated?
That implication was staggering. She was mortified and hoped he was bluffing. “Please sit down and stop trying to provoke me into releasing you early from the session.”
“Where’s your honesty now?” He leaned toward her and slowly inhaled. “I. Can. Smell. You.” A soft growl came from deep within his throat. “It drives me a little crazy and wild. Do you know what I want to do about it?”
“No. Please take your seat.”
His eyes were beautiful that close, just a foot from her. They reminded her of melted chocolate with a hint of gold thrown in. The pupils seemed to narrow as he watched her. He growled again and inched even closer until she could smell him. He carried a rich, masculine scent with a hint of something familiar that she could identify—he’d recently drunk coffee.
“I want to lay you out on this desk, bare, and lick between your spread thighs, which will be hugging my face, until you beg me to take you. I’d flip you on your stomach and bend you over in front of me right here.” His finger tapped the wooden surface of her desk. “I’d fuck you until we both couldn’t walk, think, or talk.”
Her hands trembled in her lap and clenched. She wished her chair had wheels so she could push it away from him and the desk. Wishing didn’t make it so. Her heart raced and the idea of him doing that to her did odd, funny things to her lower belly.
“It would feel so good for both of us. Do you want to help me? Take off your clothes. That’s the only way you’ll make me feel better about the things that I’ve suffered.”
She latched on to his last sentence like the drowning person she was, admitting that she found him far too appealing. She had eyes—he was a perfect specimen of muscles and tan skin, all wrapped up in a six-foot-four frame.
“Sex isn’t the answer. Talking about your problems is.”
“I’ll talk while I fuck you. I’m sure I’ll have lots to say about how good you’ll feel.”
She forced her gaze down to his hands. They were big and she knew there were calluses on his fingertips, the pads of his thumbs, and his palms. Most of the survivors had that anomaly and she’d noticed in other sessions that he had it too. She wondered what his hands would feel like on her skin.
Rough? Good? Or like sandpaper?
It was tempting to find out.
“Please take your seat, 466.” She looked up to stare directly into his eyes. “I will call for the guard to return.”
He shook his head but straightened and returned to his seat. She breathed easier when he sat. He once again crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. “I’m not into threesomes. I know they are popular with humans but it sickens me. We get turned off by the scent of other males on females and I’d have to strangle him if he touched you.”
Her mouth dropped open. “That’s not why I’d call him!” She sealed her lips and frowned back at him. “You know that though. Are you having fun playing with me?”
He smiled. “You won’t allow me to play with you.” He licked his lips, purposely showing her his tongue. “Next time you engage in sex alone remember me because I’ll be doing the same.” Amusement flashed in his eyes. “As soon as I leave here I’m going to my room.” His legs spread a little and he adjusted his ass in the chair. “I’m already hard.”
Her gaze flicked downward before she could stop the reaction. The outline of his cock was clear inside the sweatpants he wore. Most New Species hated any form of underwear she’d been told, and without them it was obvious 466 wasn’t lying. She gasped at his large size and he laughed.
She glared at his face. “That’s totally inappropriate. I see you need to retake the class about what to say to people and what not to. Remember Manners 101?”
“I know the difference.” He kept the smile in place. “We speak the truth here according to you and that’s what I’m doing. I’m going to go to my room and—”
“I understand,” she cut him off. “I’m your therapist and there’s a thing called ethics. You can stop having those thoughts about me because we can’t ever have a physical relationship.”
That killed his amusement. “Why not?”
“I took an oath and you’re my client. You need my help and that means not being taken advantage of. You’re in a fragile state.”
He threw back his head and laughed then lowered his chin and spread his arms wide. “Do I appear weak to you? You couldn’t hurt me if you tried.” He dropped his hands and gripped the arms of the chair. “You could bite, scratch, wrestle with me, and get as rough as you want to during shared sex. I’d enjoy it. I’d be more worried about you getting hurt.”
“You can go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” The session wasn’t going to progress with sex as the topic.
He didn’t budge.
“I said you can leave, 466.”
He took a deep breath and blew it out. “Do you know how to be totally honest?”
“Yes.” She dreaded answering him, wondering what he was up to now.
“Would you let me mount you if you weren’t my shrink?”
“I don’t know you well enough to answer that. I’m also not a shrink. I’m a doctor. We prefer that title.”
“That’s avoidance.”
“It’s perfectly honest. I don’t engage in casual sex.” She shouldn’t be telling him anything personal but he wasn’t exactly a textbook client. Nowhere in school had they covered half-beast men who’d been created by a company with no ethics. “I’ve never engaged in sex with someone I wasn’t in love with.”
“You’ve never shared sex?” The disbelief on his face was nearly comical.
“I have. I’m not a virgin.”
“He died?”
“Who?”
“The man you loved. He was killed?”
“No.”
“I don’t understand.” He leaned forward, looking genuinely baffled.
“What confuses you?”
“You are telling me lies.”
“I’m not.”
“You said you only shared sex with a male you love.”
“That’s true.”
“You don’t carry his scent. Where is he?”
“I don’t know exactly where my ex-boyfriends are. I don’t talk to any of them anymore. It’s common to cease all communication when a relationship ends.”
His gaze widened and he shot to his feet. “Boyfriends?”
Something distressed him but she didn’t know how her answers had caused that reaction. “I’ve had four serious boyfriends in my life.”
He growled.
“What is wrong?”
“Love is forever.” He gave her a disgusted look. “You have no idea what real love is, Joy.”
She watched him storm out of her office with his hands clenched furiously at his sides. She could only stare at the open door long after he’d gone.
She stood and became aware that her body had reacted to him. Her breasts were hypersensitive to the movement within the cups of her bra and she needed to change her panties for drier ones.
“Damn,” she muttered and closed her eyes. That had to be the strangest session she’d ever had. She leaned over to grab her cell phone out of her top desk drawer, scrolled through the numbers, and pressed the one she wanted.
“Dr. Megan Green,” a cheerful voice answered.
“Hi, Meg, it’s Joy.”
“What’s wrong?” Concern instantly filled the woman’s voice.
“Do you have time for a phone session?”
“Always. Hang on and let me close the bedroom door. I’m at home and so is one of my roommates. What’s wrong?”
“I’m attracted to a client. The therapist needs to be counseled.” She laughed nervously at the poor joke. “Shit. You never think it can happen to you.”
“Hot, huh?”
“Massively. He just told me what he wanted to do to me and I have to admit, it’s not something I’m going to forget any time soon.”
“What did he want to do?”
“Never mind that. The point is, he’s very attractive and he’s severely damaged.”
“Shit. A twofer. I want his number if he drives a motorcycle since he’s not one of mine.”
“Shut up. This isn’t something to joke about.” She leaned against her desk. “Worse, I think he’s a romantic. He believes love is forever.”
Meg was silent for a good five seconds. “Quit your job today. You can work here. There’s always an opening for a top-rated therapist.”
“That’s not funny.”
“I’m not joking. Run, babe. How many sessions a month do you have with him?”
Joy’s shoulders slumped. “I just changed his schedule to daily sessions. He went through a severe trauma.”
“I think I have a copy of your résumé. I’ll give it to my boss in the morning. You can have the vacant bedroom until you find a place to live. One of my roommates moved in with her boyfriend so it couldn’t be better timing. I’ll expect you in two weeks when your notice takes effect.”
“I can’t do that. I committed to this job for the long haul. It would traumatize more clients if I left.”
“They can hire someone else. You’re good but so are a lot of other professionals. You don’t want to mess with this. You could lose your license, face legal action even, and be fined at the very least.”
“I’m not going to act on it, damn it. That’s why I’m calling you.”
“You’re going to be screwed if you don’t get away from this guy and I mean that in the actual and metaphorical way. You want my advice? That’s it. Quit.”