“I was in a hurry…emergency.” Eric popped the stethoscope earpieces into his ears, then held up his hand to shush everybody. A moment later he looked up at Neil. “I think you could be right.”
“Right?” Gabby choked out. “About what?”
“Neil thinks it might be TGV,” Eric explained, “and at this point I have no reason to disagree because the symptoms fit. Things may turn out differently once we get the baby—”
“Bryce. Bryce Thierry Evans,” Gabby interrupted.
“Thierry?” Eric questioned, looking downright shocked.
“Gavin was the father,” Neil explained, not sounding as awkward as he could have.
Eric nodded, but didn’t comment. “OK. Once we get
Bryce
to the hospital.” He looked at Dinah. “You’ll drive.” Then he looked at Neil, a silent agreement passing between them. In the next instant he was gone, with Dinah soon to follow.
“What was that about?” Gabby asked, sliding to the edge of the bed.
“It’s critical, Gabrielle. He’ll do what he can to stabilize Bryce, and if it’s TGV he’ll probably do the balloon septostomy here in White Elk.” Enlarging a small opening between the atria that is normally present at birth in order to let more oxygenated blood reach the body. “But we’re going to have to send him down to the hospital in Salt Lake, where they can do more tests, as well as the followup surgery to reconnect the arteries normally.”
“And you think it’s TGV, Neil?”
“I’m afraid I do, Gabrielle. And I’m so sorry.”
“Then I’ve got to go,” she whispered. “Because when Eric does the septostomy, Bryce might not…” She stopped, unable to say the word.
“He’s a good surgeon. Trust me on that. Eric will do everything humanly possible to take care of Bryce.”
“I do trust you, Neil. And I trust Eric. But somehow you’ve got to get me there. Bryce can’t go through this alone.”
“I’ll get you there,” he promised.
Gabby glanced at Angela. “Come with me,” she said. “I don’t want you here alone.”
Angela went on ahead, gathering blankets and rain gear, as Neil helped Gabby dress and get ready for the trip. “What if Bryce doesn’t make it?” she choked as he pulled a sweater over her arms.”
“He will, Gabrielle. Like I said, Eric is the best. If I had a baby who needed surgery, he’d be the only one I’d let do it.”
“But sometimes the best isn’t good enough.”
“And sometimes it is.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her lightly on her forehead. “This time you have to trust that it is.”
H
UDDLED
in the truckseat, squeezed betweenAngela and Neil, and wrapped so tightly in a cashmere blanket that her head was the only thing visible, Gabby didn’t want to think about anything. It was too painful, too frightening. All these months connected to her son, and now she couldn’t feel that connection any more. She couldn’t feel anything. It was all gone, and it almost seemed like it had never been there at all. It was like those months had suddenly turned into a haze where everything was fast fading from her memory.
“Are you warm enough?” Neil asked her.
“Fine,” she lied. Because nothing anyone could do would take the chill away. It was the cold, harsh iciness of fear that couldn’t be quelled with a blanket, or ten blankets, or even a blast of heat from the truck’s heater.
“And you, Angela. How are you doing?”
“I’m fine,” she said, her voice on the edge of a quiver.
“Are you comfortable, Gabrielle?” he asked.
“Fine,” she lied again. In truth, she was miserable, but not in the physical sense. It was as if her body didn’t matter in all this. She’d given birth a little over an hour ago but the emotional pain had far outdistanced the physical pain of it. “Should you call Eric again?”
“We talked to him just a minute ago. They haven’t reached the hospital yet.”
“But I need to know about Bryce. I need to hear Eric tell me that Bryce is still…” She bit down hard on her bottom lip to keep herself from crying, as Angela reached to take her hand. Gabby knew that Bryce needed her to be strong for him, and that’s what she had to do, no matter how hard that was right now. There would be plenty of time for the emotions later on. “I just need to know.”
Neil hit speed dial, then handed the phone to Gabby. “How is he?’ she whispered, fighting against the tremble in her voice as Eric answered.
“Fighting, Gabby. He’s a strong little boy, and he’s fighting like hell.”
“Can I talk to him, Eric? He needs to hear my voice.”
Neil glanced over at Gabby, and smiled, while she waited for Eric to give her the go-ahead. She found a brave smile to return to him. “It’s not silly,” she said. “He knows my voice.”
“I know it’s not silly. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s waiting to hear from you.”
A look of hope flashed across her face. “Do you think so? Do you really think so?”
“The bond hasn’t broken because he’s not in your arms right now, Gabrielle. So, yes, I really think so.”
“Neil, I’m so glad you’re here. I don’t think I could go through this without you.” She squeezed Angela’s hand. “You, too. And don’t you worry. Things are going to go better with you when your time comes. And we’ll deliver your little…baby in the hospital.”
“You know what it is?” Angela asked.
Gabby nodded. “Do you want to?”
“Not yet.”
Gabby actually laughed. “Well, in case you’re curious,
I have a pair of baby bootees for you in my bag. When you want to know, find them. See what the color is.”
“You shouldn’t be worrying about me right now, Gabby,” she said.
“Of course I should.” She squeezed Angela’s hand again, then leaned her head against Neil’s shoulder. Fatigue was setting in. “Just, please, don’t go into labor early the way I did, because I’m really not up to a delivery today.”
“But she’s so stubborn she’d have had a go at it anyway,” Neil said, the affection in his voice so clear that even Angela heard it. Neil was brushing his thumb across Gabby’s cheek when Eric finally told her the phone was in place and that she could say a few words to Bryce.
Gabby took a deep breath, straightened in the seat, then let her breath back out, slowly bracing herself for the most important words she’d ever spoken in her life. It was time to step up and be the support her baby needed, just the way Neil had stepped up to be the support she needed. She looked at Neil for a moment to find the calm reassurance she always found in him. Then she spoke. “Bryce, I know this isn’t the way we had things planned, but you’ve got to trust me. The very best doctors in the whole world are taking care of you now, and very soon you’ll be feeling much better. Mommy’s on her way, Bryce. I promise, Mommy will be there when you need me.” She swiped at a stray tear running down her cheek, angry at herself for not being in better control. And for being so frightened. She was a doctor, after all. She’d delivered babies with the very same problem and seen the successes. Yet none of that did any good when it concerned her child. Her miracle baby. “I love you, Bryce. I love you so much, and I’ll be there in a little while. We’re going to get through this together. You’ve got to believe me, Bryce. We’re going to get through this together. Be strong for Mommy.”
Gabby clicked off the phone, then scooted back down in the seat, and cocooned herself even tighter in the blanket, more emotionally exhausted than before. “I always let my patients know the risks associated with pregnancy, and I try to prepare them in case something like this happens. But I never,
ever
prepared myself, and I refused to let myself think about it because this may be my one and only chance to have a baby. I suppose I wanted it so badly I blocked out common sense.”
“It’s normal, Gabrielle. Nobody wants to focus on the negatives. Pregnancy can be such a happy time, with so much to look forward to, so not thinking in terms of the things that could go wrong is the easiest thing to do. And, in my opinion, the best. I mean, suppose you’d spent every day worrying? Suppose you went over the checklist of everything that could go wrong rather than looking forward to all the things that could go right, the way you did? All that stress could have made things…”
“Worse?” she snapped. “Do you really believe things could have turned out worse?”
Angela took hold of her hand again, but didn’t say a word.
“Yes,” he said, his voice grave. “They could have, and deep down you know that. Bryce is alive, which gives him a chance. And with so many people fighting for him—” Before he could finish, the cell phone jingled, and she automatically clicked on. It was Eric telling her they’d arrived at the hospital, safe and sound, that they were en route to the surgery. “We’re going to do some preliminary tests first, get some X-rays, type and cross-match him for a transfusion if we need one. If I have your consent.”
“Of course you do. Anything at all…just do it.” As Eric was signing off, Neil swerved to avoid a crater in the road, then swerved again to miss a rock that had slid down the
hill. The rain had all but stopped, but the water was still on the rise. Not fast, but steady. Making the road slick with mud, and littered with so many blind obstructions that Neil’s knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel so hard.
Gabby saw this, saw the strain on his face as they slowed to ford a rivulet crossing over the road. It was deep, up to the bottom of the truck door—Angela’s truck. It was a four-wheel drive, high-rider, thank God for small miracles. Otherwise they wouldn’t have gotten though, and she wouldn’t be able to kiss Bryce before he went into surgery.
And she had to kiss him. In fact, that was the only thing on her mind, the only thing she focused on until they reached the hospital.
Then finally, after the longest ride of her life, they were there. And it was a sight she’d never expected. Dozens of people were standing in water halfway up to their knees, filling sandbags, while dozens of other people placed the bags around the foundations of the hospital to hold back the rising waters. Yellow rain slickers everywhere, rain boots, umbrellas of every color and size…Those who weren’t involved in bagging sand were taking hot coffee to the ones who were, and a temporary aid station had been set up on a makeshift wooden platform so people could get up out of the water for a while.
As Neil came to a stop, it was like all the workers gathered there came to a stop too, and turned to look at them as he helped Angela from the truck first, and gestured to an attendant with a wheelchair for her, then went back to help Gabby, literally scooping her up into his arms and carrying her inside. No protests. Once in the door, another one of the volunteers rushed forward with a wheelchair, but Neil refused it, still holding Gabby close, still running.
They were only part way through the lobby when her cell phone rang, and as she answered it she saw Eric running toward the front of the building to greet them, cell phone to his ear. Rather than talking into it, though, he simply stuffed it into his pockets and shouted, “Gabby, what blood type are you?”
She had to think for a moment. She knew, but it had escaped her.
But Eric didn’t miss a beat. Before she could answer, he shouted, “Because Bryce has a rare blood type, and I want to have a unit of blood ready before we take him into surgery.”
“Rare?” she asked.
“AB negative.”
Meaning well less than one percent of the population had this blood type. And she did not. So that was Gavin’s type.
Neil stopped abruptly. “That was the one thing Gavin and I had in common. I have type AB negative, too.” He dropped Gabby into the wheelchair after all, and followed Eric back into the emergency department. Running.
“I’m not a medical person,” Janice Laughlin said, stepping up behind Gabby and taking hold of the wheelchair handles, “but I guess that answers a lot of questions. Eric said he’s never seen Neil as grumpy as he’s been lately, and I’m guessing that’s the reason.”
“That’s the reason,” Gabby said, feeling scared, and dejected, and so many other things she couldn’t even identify.
“I’m pretty sure he loves you.”
“Maybe he does, but will it matter?”
“Time will tell, Gabby. Time will tell. But in the meantime, let’s go down to the waiting area while my brother does the surgery. Laura’s come in to sit with you, too, by the way.”
Good friends, Gabby thought. Very good friends, and she didn’t want to lose them. But right now everything she loved, everything she cared for was slipping away from her and she didn’t know how to hang on.
As the surgery prep took place, Gabby stayed secluded in a private cubicle in the surgery department. Janice and Laura stayed with her. So did Angela, who was resting in a bed that had been brought in for her. Janice’s daughter, Debbi, was valiantly minding all the children—Eric’s twins as well as Laura’s three—so the women could stay by Gabby’s side. She loved them for that, but she wished Neil was there, being the support her friends were.
Neil never came in, though, and Gabby was sure the strain of it all was getting to him. She couldn’t blame him for staying away from her, especially now that the secret was out. But she did so want his company. More than wanting him with her, though, she desperately hoped he was with Bryce. In her heart, she thought he was. Even though he’d been put through the emotional wringer by all this, she truly didn’t believe that he’d walk away. The man she…loved simply wouldn’t do that.
Oddly enough, it was Dinah who’d agreed to go into surgery with Eric. But not before she took Gabby to a bed in a private room and allowed her a few moments alone with her son. “You’re a beautiful, strong little boy, Bryce,” she whispered, fighting back the tears threatening to spill. “You’re going to get through this just fine, then we’ll start our life together and forget all this happened.” But could she forget the parts that involved Neil? Because, she was afraid she might have to.
For the next few minutes Gabby sang lullabies, and hugged and kissed her baby. Then, all too soon, Dinah came to take him. “I’m sorry, Gabby, but it’s time.”
She didn’t want to let him go, so she clung a little harder.
“Gabby?”
Gabby nodded. “I know,” she whispered, giving her baby one last kiss. “I love you, Bryce,” Gabby whispered, then handed him over to Dinah.
When Bryce was gone, and Gabby was alone, she dropped her head back into the pillow and finally let the tears flow. “I really made a mess of things,” she told Laura, who came in immediately.
“I heard.”
“Everybody has, haven’t they?” And by now Neil had to feel so humiliated…she just couldn’t bear the thought of it.
“Nobody’s judging you, Gabby. We know that Neil and Gavin had problems, but you must have known Gavin in a way that no one here did, and maybe, in time, that will be a good thing for Neil. For all of us, because we’d like to have better memories of him.”
“If Neil ever speaks to me again once we get through this crisis.”
“He will. But he may need some space for a while, so he can figure it out.”
“I just don’t know…”
“Do you love him?” Laura asked. She was fussing over Gabby, which Gabby didn’t want but didn’t have the strength to refuse.
“If I did, would it be enough for him?”
“Sometimes love is all there is. Be patient with yourself, and with Neil.”
Gabby took the drink of water Laura poured for her, then slumped back against the pillows again. “But what if he never speaks to me again?”
“If he wants a relationship with his nephew, he will.”
“That’s the thing, isn’t it?
If
he wants…”
“He’s not heartless, Gabby. Hurt, maybe. But give him some time and distance, and he’ll eventually do the right thing.”
Of course he would. She knew that with all her heart. Neil was a kind, decent man. But even kind, decent men met their breaking point, and she’d practically slapped him in the face with his. “I just want this to be over, so I can have Bryce sent up to Salt Lake for the other surgery. Nothing else really matters.”
“Would you come back?”
“Honestly, I don’t know any more.”
“Do you really think you can leave here and never look back?” Laura asked. “Because you have a life here. Friends, people who care. And that’s not so easy to walk away from.”
“No, it’s not. And I do want the two of us to settle here. It’s a wonderful little town, and I love the people. It’s a perfect place to raise a child, and I’ve been happy, even though I haven’t been here long. But…”
“Then stay here, Gabby. Settle down. Face your problems with some help from your friends. Raise your son.”
“How can I do that?”
“You know what? Now’s not the time to make any decisions. In fact, no decisions at all until you’re thinking better. OK? So, since we’re not talking about that now, do you want to hear the latest town gossip about how Eric hit Angela’s sister’s car and just drove off? And she chased him all the way to the hospital. I heard that the sparks are flying between those two, and not in a sexual way, if you know what I mean.”