No Regrets (Live Today #2) (20 page)

Her eyes meet mine. “I was strung up the day I first confessed my love for someone.” She tries to hide her smile. My chest just grew twice its size right this very moment. She does remember. “But I was so scared to say it sober, that I never thought I would have the chance to say it again to him. So ironically, he never mentioned it again and neither did I. The only thing he did do, was ask me to stop using. And he vowed to never use again, so he could protect me when I couldn’t protect myself. He knew I wouldn’t stop. He thought if I could tell him I loved him under the influence that I would tell just about anyone. But the truth is, whenever I used, it was to run away from reality as a whole, not just him.”

“I didn’t feel wanted. I didn’t feel loved. He would remind me how much he loved me and would always be my best friend. But it was something inside of me that would lock him out. I watched him as he would date other women, but never had the courage to tell him how much it bothered me. So I turned to drugs. Using made me feel good. Made me feel loved. Made me feel wanted.” I don’t realize I’m shaking my head until she begins to nod in return.

“That’s how I felt. I never shared my feelings before now. It took speaking to my baby sister today to realize how much I was still keeping stuff in. I want to get it out once and for all. And what better time to do so in front a bunch of strangers?”

“When did you hit rock bottom?” The leader asks. She turns to him and thinks.

“When I personally did, or when I thought I did?”

“Well, both?” She turns to the crowd to answer.

“I thought I hit rock bottom when a dear family friend, my brother William, made me promise to get help just before he passed away from a car accident we were involved in while they were saving me one night I had used. So, after that, I spent ninety days in a rehab facility getting myself straightened up. I met my sponsor there, and he has become my best friend.” She smiles looking at Drew. He winks at her. The pride on his face is priceless. I now know that he sees her as nothing more than a sister.

“When I truly hit rock bottom was about three weeks ago when something crucial happened to my family.” Her glossy eyes meet mine. “I have a habit of running away when something bad happens. That day, I turned to speed. Lots of it too. I didn’t even want to use that day, but it was my way of feeling wanted and loved when all I was truly feeling was betrayed.” A deceitful tear falls from my face. I’ve done this to her, I caused her to hit rock bottom.

“When I woke up that day from passing out, I thought I wanted more. But my sponsor wouldn’t let me. He knew what I wanted. He knew how I felt. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be… wanted. He knew that I was loved and wanted, but was going about it the wrong way. So he took me away from where I wanted to be the most. He took me away from my family. He took me away from the one person I wanted to be with more than anything in the world. But he also knew how ugly it was going to be. I had to leave to get better. And the look on my loved ones faces will forever mark my brain. Especially with the one that hurt me the most. I realized in that moment that I didn’t need drugs to get what I truly wanted. All I had to do was open up and let the love in.”

“And that’s what I did. We detoxed and I got better. Then I began to open up. But I was keeping some things to myself. I realize that now.” She looks down to her hands. “I promised my fiancé that I would let him know when I had a craving, and I have let him down again. I didn’t tell him I was coming here. I didn’t tell anyone. But I didn’t lie. I don’t have a craving.” She shakes her head in confidence. “I only thought I did.”

“I wanted to prove that I can do something for myself. I want to be the woman he wants me to be. I want to be the sister my brother deserves to have. But what I want most…” She looks around the room before stopping on us. “I want to be Jenna. I want to be myself, and to be myself means, I need to be all those things. Because that’s what I want. I’ve realized that I did rehab for Will, I did it for Brennan, and I even did it for Gabe. But I wasn’t doing it for me. I can at least begin doing this for me. Right?”

“Well, I know I sound scatterbrained right now. Thank you for listening to me. If there’s anyone in here that feels the same way as I do, I hope I’ve helped you at least a little.” She steps around the podium and people stand to applaud her. I notice that some are crying, myself included as she makes her way to the back row where Drew and I sit. He steps in front of her and tells her how proud he is of her. She kisses his cheek and hugs him in thanks before turning to me.

“Hi.” I whisper. The group is still just finishing up, but we remain standing.

“Hi.” She replies smiling. “I’m sorry I bolted. I…” I place my finger on her lips.

“Shhh. You don’t have to ever apologize for anything. Of course it would have been nice to know where you were.” I smile pulling her into my arms. “I didn’t know you remembered that day.” She sniffs and nods. “I love you more than anything in this world Jenna. And I will make it my life’s goal to make sure you feel wanted and loved until our very last breath.”

Her lips meet mine. “I love you too. And I know I will always feel wanted and loved as long as I’m by your side.”

“Damn straight you’ll be by my side. Like I said before, I’m never letting you go, ever.”

“Jenna?” Brennan’s voice calls from behind me. Shit, I had no clue they were here. We turn to see the entire group along the wall watching.

“How long?”  I ask. She hugs me before kissing my neck and releasing me.

“They showed up just when I was beginning to start.” She steps into Brennan’s arms, Robert hugs them both from behind.

“Jems, I don’t ever want you to think you were ever unloved or unwanted.” Brennan scolds.

“I’m so sorry for being the cause of all this.” Her father says crying.

“I made myself feel this way. No one did anything wrong. It was something I had to do for myself.” She admits.

“C’mon, let’s go home.” Robert hugs her once more.

“What about the reception.” He turns and places his hands on her shoulders. Bending down to look directly into her eyes.

“Jenna Lynn Munson. Family comes first. Always. We just said goodbye to your mother. Something that I am still not sure I am ready to do. What I want right now is to bring my kids home and spend some time relaxing with them like I used to.” She smiles up at him.

“I think I would love that.”

~~~

“You sure you’re okay?” I take her hand in mine and kiss it gently. We’re cuddled on the couch together waiting for the rest of the group to finish getting their pajama’s on. She turns to me and kisses my nose. God I love this woman.

“I couldn’t feel better.” I raise an eyebrow in a challenging way.

“Really? I bet I could make you feel better.” I chuckle when she smacks my chest.

“Mind above the navel Gabe.” I wiggle both eyebrows and she giggles.

“What’s wrong with oral? That’s above the navel. Well your navel anyways.” She laughs. Finally a true laugh comes from her core.

“You’re bad, you know that?” I lean down and kiss her. When she returns the kiss, I deepen it. “Gabe?”

“Hmmm?” I mutter against her lips.

“Think we could make it a quickie?” Immediately, my dick begins to rise. She giggles.

“What’s so funny?” Matt asks, walking hand in hand with Willow. “Ooh Wilz, I think we interrupted something.” He laughs when I lift Jenna on my lap to hide my erection. “Down boy. This is a family night remember?” He laughs.

“Fuck off Matty.” I argue. “Where the hell were you ten minutes ago?” I try to shift to make myself more comfortable. It doesn’t help that Jenna is secretly grinding her ass against me. “You’re not helping Angel.”

“I was balls deep in my girl. We’ve had a lot of catching up to do.” He drapes his arm around Willow’s neck. “Right babe?” She blushes and hides in his chest. He laughs.

“Leave her alone. Poor thing.” Jenna tries to hide her amusement. She turns and pulls me up off the couch. “Matty, save our spot on the couch. We’ll be back in a few.”

He laughs uncontrollably. “A few? Damn Gabe, I thought you would have more stamina than that.” He cries before Willow hits him in the chest with a pillow. But right now, I don’t care. I have this aching deep inside me and if my woman is willing to release it, who am I to complain? I turn just before closing the door and flipping him off.

“Just remember jackass. She loves my kisses better than yours.” I laugh and lock the door behind me.

Jenna

“Shh, Angel.” Gabe covers my mouth with his in attempt to silence my orgasm with a chuckle. I moan in his mouth as my body shakes vigorously. His thrusts become deeper and harder telling me he’s almost at the brink. “Fuck!” He grunts with his last final thrust in me.

“Wow.” I thread my fingers through his hair, resting on the nape of his neck.

“Jesus.” He rests his forehead against mine. “That was…”

“I know.” I giggle, kissing him softly.

“You have to learn to control yourself.” He slowly pulls out of me.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it.” I roll over and watch him as he makes his way to the bathroom to get a washcloth. “Was I really that loud?”

“I guess we’ll find out shortly, wont we?” He chuckles. “Let me clean you up.” He places the washcloth between my legs.

“I’m pretty sure I know how to do that, you know?” I reach down to grab it for myself only to have my hand swatted.

“Stop it. I’m well aware you know how to dodo it. I rather enjoy reminding myself where I’ve been.” He smiles and winks at me. I plop back down on the bed, half-dressed from the waist up. We were too impatient to get completely naked.

“Do you think it will always be like this?” I sit up when he finishes.

“Like what?” His brows scrunch in confusion.

“Amazing.” I blush at my admittance. He lifts my chin between his fingers and thumb forcing our eyes to meet.

“You better believe it will be like this, every time Angel.” He kisses me tenderly. “Even as a quickie, it was the best sex I’ve ever had. Thank you for that.”

“Thank you.” I return the compliment and lift off the bed to reach for my bottoms. “Ouch! What was that for?” I rub the sudden sting on my ass.

“I couldn’t help myself. You bent down right in front of me.” He laughs rubbing my ass. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I kind of liked it.” I wiggle underneath his hand causing him to growl.

“Think they would mind if we didn’t go back out there?” He wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me into him.

“I think we have to go back out there. My dad’s coming too. Remember, it was his idea?” His head drops on my shoulder.

“Shit, I forgot.” He presses his lips to my neck. “Raincheck for tonight?”

“Maybe if you behave yourself.” He hurries to grab his shorts.

“Well, let’s go then. The sooner we get done with this, the sooner I can lay you down and have my evil way with you.”

~~~

“Good morning Jenna.” Paisley says.

“Mornin’ Paisley.” I pat her shoulder as I make my way to the coffee pot. “Where’s everyone at?”

“Outside. Patty decided to make breakfast out by the pool. Todd is helping her set things up. The rest are floating around somewhere if they aren’t out there helping her.” I nod as I pour myself a cup.

“Look, about last night.” I sit across from her. “I wanted to tell you I was sorry for not being clear about where I was going. I know everyone was worried.”

As I look at her features, I notice how much she looks a lot like both Brennan and myself. Her eyes are a little deeper blue than mine. Other than that, she is literally a spitting image of my brother. “It’s okay, I get it. Sometimes we need to do things on our own.” She reaches over and rests her hand on mine. “That’s why I sent Justin and the guys away for a while.” She carries a genuine smile.

“You know you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know, but I wanted to. He wanted to see his twin brother anyways. This way, he can visit his family, and I can learn more about mine.” I rest my free hand on hers.

“Well, that’s a great idea.” I smile softly at her. “So, I assume you’ll be going to California with us?”

“I would like to, if that’s okay with you and Brennan. I don’t have to if you don’t want me to though. I already have a trust fund set up for me, I’m free and clear with my money. But it would give me a chance to get to know you two a little better.” Her nose twitches and I can’t help but laugh. “What?”

“I guess you weren’t lying about our little trait were you?” I pat her hand. “There’s obviously another reason you’re willing to travel with a bunch of weirdos.” Her face flushes.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Awe, c’mon Pai. Spit it out.” Just then, Drew walks in the room. “Good morning to you.”

“Hey.” He scratches the back of his head before sitting by me. “Heard there’s breakfast soon.” He yawns and rests his head on my shoulder. I keep my eyes on my sister as her entire body perks up with excitement. Squeezing her hand demanding attention I nod my head to Drew. She blushes and nods. Ahh. My baby sister has a crush on my best friend. I smile.

“Matt’s mom is getting it ready now.” I try to hide my amusement.

“What’s got you all chipper this morning?” He shoves my shoulder. I laugh and take a sip of my morning glory.

“Oh, nothing.” I reply winking at Paisley who is about as red as a tomato. Drew sits up, eyes me suspiciously as I stand and kiss the top of his head. “I need to freshen up, or see if they need any help outside, or something.” I laugh. “Have fun you two.” I wink at Paisley.

“What’s up with her?” Drew asks Paisley when I leave the room. “I dunno...” Was all I heard.

“Did you know that my little sister has the hots for Drew?” I ask entering the shower with Gabe, startling him as he rinses the soap from his eyes.

“I thought something was up. But I was so focused on you, I didn’t care much to notice.” He turns to pull me into the water. “He asked something about her the other day when we were at the park.” He shifts me until we both are under the water and pours shampoo on his hand before massaging it into my hair.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I moan. God his hands feel so good.

“Like I said. I was too carried away with you.” He tips my head back for a rinse. “Turn around, I need to wash your back.” I turn as he loads the loofa with soap. “Did she say something?”

“Not really, I noticed how her entire body lite up when he came into the kitchen this morning. Plus, she has this thing she does when she lies.”

“She’s not the only one Angel.” He kisses my shoulder. “Your noses give it away every time. It begins to twitch whenever you start to lie.” He chuckles. “Brennan too.”

“You’re lucky I don’t like to lie then.” I lean back onto his chest as he begins washing my front.

“Uh, I think you’re the lucky one there. I would have spanked that gorgeous ass of yours long ago.”

“Like I would let you.” I laugh.

“Mmmmhmmm…” He lips trail up my neck. “Like I said. You can lie to me any time. As long as my hand lands on your ass in the end, that’s all that matters.” I can feel his erection grow onto my behind.

“Didn’t you get enough this morning?” I reach my hand between our bodies and take hold of him.

“Mmmmm…”

“That’s not an answer Gabe.” His hand trails from my stomach down to between my thighs.

“Shhh, I need you.” He uses his other hand to take a hold of my breast. Moments later, I turn my head to meet him in a passionate kiss. “You’re so beautiful Jenna.” My heart picks up speed.

“Gabe.” I plead turning in his arms. He lifts me and holds me up against the wall. His hand returns to my core. I begin panting when his lips trail down my neck to my breast as he inserts a finger inside me, he takes a nipple in his mouth. “Ahhhh.”

“God I love what you do to me, Jenna.” He says with a flick of his tongue on my nipple as his fingers work their magic.

“Gabe, please.” I plead with a sensual moan.

“Wrap your legs around me baby.” He lifts me by my ass. I do what he says. Within seconds he enters me. Dropping my head back to the cool tile, he takes advantage of nestling in my neck. “Fuck Jenna!” He cries when I angle my hips to fit him better.

“Jesus. Do you two ever stop? Disgusting.” Gabe stills. I drop my head on his shoulder trying to hide my embarrassment. “You’re like rabbits. I would say get a room, but…” He laughs.

“Jesus Matt, don’t you have any fucking manners?” Gabe shouts. He covers my body with his own as much as possible. The glass door dividing us lacks any privacy. “Get the fuck out.” Matt chuckles. Gabe turns to whisper in my ear. “Didn’t you lock the door?” I nod with a sigh, resting my head against the tile.

“Really man, you think a locked door can keep me out?”

“Matty!” I yell.

“Okay, okay.” He laughs. “Mom’s got breakfast ready.” He’s leaning against the sink.

“For the love of God Matty, if you don’t leave right now…”

“Geez, calm your tits Jems. It’s not like I haven’t seen you before.” He chuckles. Gabe begins to snarl. “I’m going, I’m going. But I wanted to tell you, we’re going to hang out today at the beach. After breakfast, we’re running to the store to get stuff for barbeque. That butler dude, whats his name? Todd? Anyway, he offered to get meat, but I want to pick my own out.”

“And you couldn’t fucking wait to tell us this after we got out Jackass? Leave!” Gabe grabs a bar of soap and chucks it at Matt causing him to laugh even harder.

“Carry on. And make it quick. Food’s getting cold.” He turns when he gets to the door. “Oh and Gabe, nice ass.” He winks just before shutting the door behind him.

“Asshole.” Gabe shakes his head before turning his attention back to me. “Still want to live with them?” He smirks.

I run my fingers through his hair before pulling his mouth to mine. “We need to consider putting a deadbolt on the bedroom door.” I shift my hips with need.

“Or buy the house next door.” He begins to move. “But now, I need to finish what I started.” His lips pressing against mine alerts my senses and I forget all about Matt and his intrusion.

~~~

“Nenna, Nenna.” Danika runs circles around the sand castle that Gabe is focusing extremely hard on making. He’s dead set on having his better than Matt’s castle.

“I’m going to get you Dani.” I chase her, coming super close to him.

“No!” She hollers in laughter just before grabbing Gabe by the neck. “Abe!” She holds onto him with all her might. He grunts as she begins to climb over him almost causing us to topple over his castle.

“What’s wrong baby? Is Auntie Jenna chasing you?” He flips her over his shoulder to protect her from me. She giggles and nods.

“Here I come.” I crouch down to attack.

“No!” She tries to wiggle out of Gabe’s hold, but doesn’t succeed.

“Ha! I got you now.” I begin tickling her until he takes hold of my arms and holds me back.

“Get her Dani.” He tells her, she begins to laugh uncontrollably and tries to run her fingers under my arms. I fake laugh.

“Oh no. Dani, you’re getting me.” She cackles. “Stop Danika, Nenna can’t breathe.” I pretend. Her eyes widen in shock and she looks at Gabe. I turn to him as well and raise my brow.

“Oh, look at Nenna, Dani. She’s fine.” He kisses my nose. “But maybe Dani needs some more.” He winks at me and we both turn to her. She barks a laugh.

“Dada!” She make a bee line toward Matt. “Dada, elp.”

“What’s wrong baby bug?” He scoops her into his arms. We aren’t far behind her. “What are you doing to my girl?” He tries to keep his amusement down.

“Just having some fun daddy.” I explain while crouching in front of him watching her try to climb over his shoulders to get away from me.

“She won’t get my bug.” Matt says pulling her back down into his arms. “Stop squirming Dani.” Moments later, Willow comes up to us.

“I think it’s time for Dani bug to have her nap.” She takes Danika in her arms and leans in to give Matt a kiss. “Especially if we want her to last through the night.”

“I’ll join you.” Matt smiles with nothing but love and adoration for his girls. “I’ll be back. Don’t fuck up my sand castle.” Pointing at Gabe who raises his hands up in defense.

“Now why would I want to do that?” He chuckles before taking my hand and pulling me into his arms. “Let’s go for a walk.” He demands.

“Okay.” I release his hand to grab my flip flops and skirt wrap. He’s made it to where the water meets dry sand. With my shoes in one hand, I take his with my other once I make my way to him.

The walk is quiet. Our feet leave trails on the sand and the waves pushing their way on shore is the only noise we hear. This is heaven. I wrap my arm around his waist and lean into him as we walk side by side. “What are you thinking about?” My voice is soft, but curious.

He kisses the top of my head. “You.” We walk in silence. A few more steps later. “Everything I guess. So much has changed this year. The accident and Will. You leaving me for three of the longest months of my life. You holding my hand when we went to see my parents.” He pauses. “I was scared shitless seeing them, but because you were by my side, I knew I could do it.” I hold onto him a little tighter, knowing he isn’t finished with his thoughts. “Then, our first time. A night I will never forget.” I look up to him and smile.

“No, I don’t think I will ever forget that night either.” He kisses me swiftly.

“The night of the fair. The night you went on stage and sang. I was so proud of you, Angel. Then shortly after, I fucked up, and you leave again.” I begin to argue, but he presses his finger on my lips and shakes his head. “Hush woman, these are my thoughts.” I end up kissing his finger and encourage him to finish. We’ve made it to the pier and begin walking down it.