No Regrets (Live Today #2) (9 page)

“I love you Angel.”

“I love you too.”

~~~

Jenna’s hand rests on my stomach as she sleeps soundly by my side. I’ve been watching her sleep for a few hours. Knowing she’s probably not slept more than I have, I can’t bring it upon myself to wake her up. Especially after last night. She tossed and turned all night. That’s when I decided to sneak out and have a little chat with Drew in the middle of the night once she finally settled into a deep sleep.

I insisted on knowing everything that happened on their way here. He explained the first few days were rough. She refused to eat, but that was from the drugs. She spent most of the first few days and nights in his arms curled around the toilet. As jealous as I am of him for being there for her, and not me, I can’t help but be grateful at the same time. He’s the only one that truly understood what she was going through. And as much as I tried to get it, I couldn’t. Drew said Jenna was too weak to travel at first, so they stopped at a hotel about a few hours away from mom’s house. That didn’t settle with me well knowing they were so close and I couldn’t get to her.

He admitted that he helped her shower, but in the same breath he swears that he kept his eyes away from her as much as possible. He confessed that he was afraid of how I would react. I have to admit, fire flared through me when he first told me. But after he explained that her body was so weak, that a few times, she almost slipped and fell, that he felt like he was obligated to make sure she didn’t get hurt any further. He also reassured me that he didn’t actually get in the shower with her, but he stayed outside the curtain and would check on her every few minutes. I promised him that I wouldn’t bring it up to her, only because it would probably upset her if I knew. Apparently she cried when he was helping her dry off, worried that I would kill them both if I found out.

Most nights Jenna would write in a journal he had bought for her after her first nightmare. He encouraged her to write down anything she could remember from them so she could begin healing. If she wasn’t writing or having a nightmare, she would toss and turn and mumble my name in her sleep. I tried to hide my smile when he mentioned that. She stayed quiet most of the time. He would catch her staring out the window when they were driving. She said she was thinking about everything that’s happened recently. He confesses she felt more at ease after she received the last text I had sent her, but she was also worried that I wasn’t getting enough sleep. After a few hours, I thanked him before crawling back into bed with her.

Unconsciously, I found myself running my finger over the ring on her finger. I still can’t believe after all these years of holding on to it and everything we’ve gone through, that she’s agreed to be mine. I never in my wildest dreams thought Brennan would have given us his blessing. Even with everything that happened in these past few weeks, yesterday has got to have been one of the happiest days of my life.

Jenna stirs. Her eyes flutter open and she interlocks her fingers with mine. “Good morning.”

Chuckling, bringing her ring finger to my lips. “It’s a little later than that Angel. But good morning.” She cranes her neck to the clock and groans.

“Why did you let me sleep so long?”

“I was admiring the view.” She rolls on her back and stretches. I take advantage of this opportunity and keep her hands above her head and shift my body over hers. “Which got a whole lot better about five seconds ago.” I say kissing her neck before releasing her hands and rolling her back onto me. “I thought it would be best to let you sleep.” Her head rests on my chest. “You wouldn’t stop tossing and turning last night, so I decided to let you sleep in.”

She smiles, crossing her arms on my chest resting her chin to look at me. “And how does my hair look?” I chuckle and run my fingers through the strands.

“As beautiful as ever.” Remembering the promise I made to her. “Even though it’s a little ratty.” She smacks my chest giggling before climbing off me. “Where do you think going.” She makes her way toward the oversized bathroom.

“I need to freshen up.” She turns quickly toward the door.

“What you need to do is get back over here.” She shakes her head and continues. I decide to get up and follow her. While she does her thing in the toilet, I make good use of the oversized bathtub that’s made for a king and begin to fill it. I brush my teeth quickly before filling the tub with bubble bath.

“What’s this?” She asks. I make my way to her and take her hands in mine before pulling her toward the tub. “Is this for me?” Her eyes glare past me to the tub.

“This is.” Leaning down and kissing her tenderly, I bring her hands over her head. Gliding my hands down, I take hold of the tiny tank top she has on and begin to lift it above her head. As soon as it’s fallen on the floor, she runs her fingers through my hair, pulling me into a deeper kiss. Her mouth is as greedy as mine. Her breath hitches when my hands make their way from her hips to her breasts. “Do you have any clue what you do to me?” I ask greedily, making a trail of kisses to her breast.

“I think I might have an idea.” She gasps when I take her puckered nipple into my mouth. My hand makes good use of her other breast. “Gabe.” She whimpers when begin with the other. Her body shivers as I find her lips against mine once again. I trail my hands down her body, resting them on her hips. Carefully moving her closer to the edge of the tub, I trail tongue down her body, between her breasts and down toward her stomach, carefully tucking my fingers beneath her panties and taking them down with me.

“You are so beautiful.” Once I find myself on my knees before her. I gently guide her so she sits on the edge of the tub and I’m settling myself between her legs. Sitting back on my heels, I memorize her body. “I lied when I said I was admiring the view.” I confess resting my hands on her knees, spreading them a little further causing her petite body to shiver. “This view is much better.” Leaning in and kissing her inner thigh just before making my way between her legs.

“Ahh Gabe.” Jenna moans when I run my tongue between her folds. I begin pulling back, but when I do, her hands grasp my head. “Don’t you dare move.” She cries so I pick up where I left off. As I begin to flick her clit with my tongue, my finger makes it’s way inside her. With my hand in place, assaulting her body, I kiss my way back up her body groaning when I meet her eager kiss.
My tongue attacks hers in the same motion my finger works her over. Her heavy breathing and whimpering beneath me tells me she’s close. “Let go Angel.” I say when she hides her face in the crook of my neck. “Just let go baby.” She drops her head back with a scream of pleasure as her sheath squeezes my fingers inside her. When I’m sure she’s done, I release her hold on me, removing my shorts quickly and lifting her off the ground before stepping into the bath water.

Jenna

“Can we stay here forever?”  My head rests on Gabe’s chest. His fingers make their own trail down my arms and back up again.

“Angel, we can do whatever you want today.” His lips caress my earlobe. “Today, you’re ordered to relax.”

“Ordered?” I question him.
“Mhmm. Dr. Gonzales’ orders.” He insists.

I turn in his arms and straddle him in the water.  “Okay. Where is my Gabriel and who the hell are you?” My hands rest on his shoulders. His eyes which were originally resting on my chest shift up to meet mine.

“I’m right here baby.” He takes my face in his hands and kisses me passionately. “These past few days, let alone weeks have been really stressful for both of us. I want you to have one stress free day.” His lips meet mine again. I deepen the kiss and my body comes alive. Shifting closer, pressing my body against his wanting more. “Er, Jenna.” His body stiffens. “Angel, what are you doing?”

“I think you know what I’m doing.” My voice is husky, feeling him stiffen under me, I begin to slowly rub myself against him.

“I… I know
what
you’re doing. I…” He moans when I press my lips against his shutting him up. He allows my tongue access, but quickly, he backs away. “I mean…”

“I know what you mean.” I kiss him again. Shifting my body hovering myself over his erection. “I want this Gabriel.”

“But you’re supposed to relax today.”

“Gabe.” I warn. “If you don’t give me
what
I want,” I slowly slide myself over him. He drops his head and moans. “I will hate you forever.”

He rests his hands on my hips when he fills me completely. Then he holds me still. “Well, how can I refuse what you want?” I can feel him throbbing inside me.

“You can’t.” My breath hitches when he shifts under me.

“Gabe?”

“Yeah Angel?” His voice is husky and his eyes are full of lust mixed with love.

“Make love to me.” I try to shift, but he holds me still over him. “Now.” I demand. His hands grip my waist firmly when he tries to hide a smile. I lean in and bite his earlobe. “Move. Now.”

“Shh baby.” His teeth nip my shoulder. Slowly, he allows me to move. “I just needed to feel you.” He whispers. The water begins to slosh.

His hands guide me up and down his shaft. I take a handful of his hair when my mouth attacks his. Once we find our rhythm, our breaths quicken. I rest my forehead on his. I try to keep eye contact with him but this sensation is too much. He closes his eyes as if he’s holding himself back. “Gabe.” I beg.

“Let go Jenna.” He kisses the corner of my mouth, breathing heavily. I know he’s holding himself back waiting for me. A few moments later, I find my release in a form of a scream at the same time he finds his, groaning in my neck.

We sit still for a few minutes, letting the water settle along with our breathing. I’m lying on his chest, he’s still firmly inside me. “Do you think it will always be like this?” He asks. I can’t find the energy to speak so I shrug.

“Can I admit something?” I nod while nestled in his arms. “I kind of wish we would have hooked up before now.” I crane my head up to look at his face, I’m confused. He takes his fingers and rubs a spot between my eyebrows. “Did you know that I could always tell when you don’t get me?” Chuckling he continues. “Your forehead scrunches up right here.”

“Why do you wish we would have hooked up before?”

“Because if I knew how good this felt, I would definitely have wanted this before. But still,” He kisses me softly. “I would have waited a lifetime for this… I would still wait forever for you, Jenna.” His words melt my insides.

“What did I do to deserve you?” His honey brown eyes begin to gloss over.

“Exist.” He says softly. “I honestly don’t know what I would be without you.” He pulls me into his arms where I begin to sob. “Hey.” I bury my face in the crook of his neck. “Jenna, talk to me. Why are you crying Angel?”

“I’m afraid.” Keeping my arms around his neck.

“Of what?” He caresses me while I hold him tightly. “Jenna?”

“That… That I won’t be enough.” I confess. “That I’m doing this wrong. Or that I’m going to do this wrong” How can I tell him I’m scared as hell that I’m not performing well enouth? He remains quiet which causes me to worry more.

“Are you kidding me?” He asks. Pulling me away from his arms, he looks into my eyes. His face is torn. “Are you talking about the sex?” I bite my bottom lip and blink my answer with a tear. He huffs. “Jenna, I’ve been scared shitless that I’ve been screwing this up.” He admits like he’s taken the words from me. “I guess this is what happens when we both are unexperienced.” He caresses my face with his hands and wipes the tears away with his thumb.

“Jenna, the boat, last night, what we did just now, I wasn’t lying when I said that I wish we had gotten together a long time ago. God baby, I wish you knew how much I was worried that I wouldn’t make you happy.”

“Gabriel, you have no idea how happy you’ve made me. Last night was amazing. I think knowing that you’ve not been with anyone helps ease my fears. But that’s not what makes me happy. Knowing that I will forever belong to you means more to me than you know.”

“I’ve always been yours Jenna. I have been since the first day we met. And whatever we’re doing, I think we’re doing it right. I’ve never been happier.”

“I love you Gabriel.” My eyes stay locked on his. “I’ve loved you for so long now. I was just too afraid to let go.”

“I know.” He admits running a finger over my bottom lip. “When you woke up from the accident and you wouldn’t settle until you saw me, I knew then. But I knew before that… I was so scared that I wouldn’t have gotten the chance to tell you how much I loved you. But I also respected Brennan enough to stay quiet. Will knew, he told me to be patient, but when I saw you in Justin’s arms at the club, I knew for sure that I had to do something and quick.”

“Justin?” I giggle. “I admit there was an attraction with Justin, but my heart always belonged to you Gabe.” I remember that night well. I begin to laugh.

“What’s so funny?” He asks with a curious smile.

“There were girls in the bathroom at the club.” I admit, the confusion on his face grows. “One of them was persistent on having you in her bed that night. Don’t you remember her?” He shakes his head.

“I remember you dancing with him and my blood boiling the entire time.”

“You don’t remember the brunette sitting on your lap with her tongue down your throat?”

“Oh,” His face wakens up. “The one I sent to Justin to keep him away from you?” I smack his chest. “Ouch.” He laughs.

“You did that?” He raises an eyebrow at me and shrugs.

“I was willing to do whatever possible to keep you with me. What I wasn’t planning on was waking up the next morning alone.”

“I’m sorry… I didn’t know what was going on.”

“Yes you did. You just didn’t want to give into us. I still have the letter to prove it.” He shifts under me. “I believe it said. ‘Gabriel, I love you more than you know. But I’m afraid to give into what my heart is telling me. So I’m leaving for a few days to try to forget you, but we both know you’re too irresistible for that to happen.’”

“I don’t think that’s exactly how it went.” I joke trailing my hands down his chest. “But it’s definitely close.” I lean in kissing him before we begin where we left off in the water.

~~~

Today has been utter bliss. Gabriel has been the perfect fiancé. He set a goal for me to not move a finger. Which is exactly what I plan on doing. After our bath, we had a small breakfast, cuddled on the bed and watched “Pretty Woman.” He said he told everyone that I wasn’t to be disturbed and they all agreed with him. He said they are hanging out by the house pool for the day so they can rest and relax as well.

“Miss me already?” A set of lips land on my cheek. I stretch in my lounge chair as he wakes me from my short nap.

“Always.” I sit up, letting him slip in behind me. “What took you so long?” Leaning back against him. The sun is shining brightly down on us and there’s a cool breeze coming up from the ocean.

“I was just making sure Matt was going to make your favorite dinner. And I had to convince Todd that it’s actually okay for us to take over the kitchen for the day. He was adamant against it, but I promised that the cooks can have it back tomorrow.” I can hear the amusement in his voice. “I also needed to tell mom and dad about the good news before Ash got a hold of them. And I was making us lunch.” He points to the side table that holds two BLT sandwiches. Great. I decide to ignore the food comment and focus on the news.

“Why didn’t you just tell them here in front of me? I would have loved to have heard what they had to say.” A little hurt that he chose to do so separately. It’s not like I have anyone to break the news to.

“Angel, you were sleeping. I didn’t want to wake you. I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t thinking. We can call them back after lunch.”

“Can I just go back to sleep?” I tense up, really not wanting to eat, his body stiffens from under me.

“Jenna.” He scolds.

“Gabe.” I counter.

“We’ve spoken about this.” He sighs heavily. I sit up and turn to look at his face.

“Who’s spoken about this?” I decide not to hide the agitation in my voice, because frankly, I’m quite pissed.

“Jenna Relax.”

“I told you yesterday…” He takes my hand gently interrupting me.

“You promised me yesterday that you would eat. Last night you didn’t barely ate anything. And a few bites of fruit doesn’t count as a breakfast.”

“I’m not hungry! God! And last night, we were rudely interrupted by my father. That would make anyone lose their appetite” I pull my hand away from his.

“You won’t eat, you don’t sleep. You can’t blame us for worrying, can you?”

“Us?”

“All of us Jen. I spoke to Drew last night after you finally fell asleep.” I begin to push myself off of him, but he grabs my arm and explains. “I wanted answers. You tossed and turned for a few hours after we… Well, anyways, once you were sound asleep, I went to talk to him.”

Pulling away from his hold again, I stand and reach for my tank top. “I don’t understand why you can’t come to me Gabriel. And I don’t get why my eating and sleeping habits are so intriguing.”

“Well, if you would talk to me, I wouldn’t have to go to Drew.” He pulls his leg around to the side of the lounge chair to stand.

“I do talk to you.” I snap and raise the tank top over my head. He stands, takes my hands and holds them in place above my head.

“Bullshit Jenna.” His eyes glare down at me. They are filled with more hurt than anger. “You don’t. That’s the problem. I get that he’s your sponsor, I really do. But for fucks sake, what am I to you?” I open my mouth to speak, but he continues. “Answer me this Jenna. How long have you had your phone back?” My eyes tear up as I look into his. He knows I’ve had it for a while. I’m sure he’s heard me speaking to Brennan.

“That’s what I thought.” The hurt in his voice cuts through me. “Did you ever think about how hard it was for me?”

“I… I’m sorry. I just didn’t think that the phone was a way to talk things out.”

“No. But it would have at least been nice to hear from you. Even if it’s in text. I got nothing from you Jenna. We could have talked about the weather for all I care.” He takes a deep breath. “Look, I’m not jealous of Drew, but you’ve got to give me something to work with here. You don’t talk to me, and you sure as hell haven’t been there for me when I needed you the most.” I stand silent, letting a few tears trickle from my eyes. “I understand you weren’t in any position to talk to me when you first left. I get it. You took your best friend and left.”

“You are my best friend.” I correct him. He continues as if I didn’t speak.

“I know. But where was my best friend when I needed her the most?” His glossy eyes stare down at me. “I know you are dealing with a lot of shit here, Jenna. But I need my best friend too, almost just as much as you needed yours.” He drops our hands. “I had Brennan and my mom, but they weren’t enough. I needed you, Jenna. I needed you to hold me in your arms, I needed you to tell me that it would all be okay.”

“Gabe.” The tremble in my voice is unavoidable. “I’m sorry, I obviously wasn’t myself. I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay.” A tear falls from his eye. Instinctively I reach up to wipe it away, but he takes my hand and stops me. “Jenna, for years, I’ve waited for you. I’ve given you all of me. Everything in me belongs to you. Can’t you see that?” He drops his head and continues.

“Words can’t describe how hard it was to watch you leave that day with him. I felt my world coming to a crashing halt. I had Carmen in the other room ready to pounce, but I wanted to be the one upstairs when you woke up. I deserved to be there with you. But Brennan and everyone else told me to leave you alone. And because I love you so much and I felt guilty for putting you through it all, I put my feelings aside and didn’t fight them. All I want is for you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“I am happy Gabe. I’m happy with you.” I hold his face in my hands and force his head up to look at me. “You mean more to me than anyone in the world.”