Hell, she hadn’t even been sure she wanted that with him. She’d recently had some
strong niggling suspicions that she could be nudged in that direction, yes, but fantasies
weren’t reality. She knew that better than anyone.
Now she was lying to not just one family, but two. Cory’s mom had been such a support
to her, and this was how she paid her back? By not only pretending to date her son,
but by claiming to love him? And that she was loved back? Those three little words
took her harmless lie and somehow made it a giant, irreversible violation.
“What’s wrong?” he asked gruffly as she moved back to her corner of the couch.
“You caused all this to happen. You and your big mouth,” she muttered, even though
that wasn’t exactly true. It was
their
big mouths that had led them to make out on that gazebo, and now they were both paying
the price.
She waited for him to call her out for blaming him entirely. Shockingly, he didn’t.
“I know. Believe me, I know.” He rested his head on the back of the sofa and stared
at the ceiling. “It shouldn’t make a difference. A lie’s a lie. But saying too much
always leads to problems later on down the road.” He sighed. “The question is what
the hell do we do now? It’s not like I can take the words back. So I suppose we have
no choice but to…take things up a notch, to add veracity to our big blowup. That won’t
be long from now,” he added, clearly thinking his reminding her of how soon their
relationship would end would work in his favor.
Wrong-o.
She stared over his head out the window, going back to those moments they’d shared
in the barn. The power of that encounter had shaken her more than any other she’d
ever had. Maybe because she’d so willingly surrendered some of her control. Maybe
because it was Cory. Maybe both. The more time they spent together, the more she couldn’t
help thinking beyond the moment, even knowing it was dangerous. Especially with him.
Every little girl had her favorite fairy tales, and one of the last of hers was finding
someone to share her life with. The most important ingredient in her bucolic farm
fantasies.
She choked back a laugh. Who’d’ve thunk it? Up-for-anything Vicky Townsend, dreaming
of farms and marriage and babies. Of the home she’d had for such a short time as a
child and wanted with every fiber to create again.
Compared to the other stubborn dream she still held—her mother ever getting better—part
of this one at least was in reach. She could be Cory’s girlfriend for a few weeks.
Even if it wasn’t real.
Her family life years ago hadn’t exactly been
real
, either. So she should be adjusted by now.
When she shot her gaze to his, he cleared his throat. “I didn’t intend any of this,”
he added almost as an afterthought.
A quick stabbing sensation in her eyes made her blink, hard. Something had changed
between them in the barn. Altered subtly, like molecules shifting. They’d grown closer,
and she couldn’t go back in time.
From what she’d seen in the kitchen, his job was on the line. That didn’t really make
sense to her, since his parents were good people. But for some reason, his coupledom
was a requirement of his continued employment, and the idea of Cory without his work
was a scary thing indeed.
What would be left of him then? And could she really willingly cause pain to someone
she cared about, when the answer was so simple?
All she had to do was continue down the path they’d set, unwittingly, the night of
the gala. Besides, her family didn’t have the best track record at finding—and staying
with—their significant others. Maybe a fake relationship was her best bet.
“You know, my mom and dad set some precedent,” she said, shaking her head. “First
they split up, then there’s Bry, who never dates the same woman two months in a row.
Sometimes even two weeks is a strain. Melly tried to settle down with someone, but
it didn’t stick. He cheated on her and dumped her. Then there’s me, the people pleaser
who partied too hard in high school. Tonight, one of the guests—Cassandra—asked if
I was that girl who’d had sex at the water tower and got arrested. I don’t think she
believed me when I said I’d never been handcuffed.” She laughed just a bit too loud.
“Gotta love small towns. Everyone knows everyone’s business and no one ever forgets.”
Cory edged closer to her, his expression intent in the low light. “If Cassandra Martino—or
anyone else—ever says anything derogatory to you about your past again, let me know.
I’ll handle it.”
Her heart swelled before she quashed her instant of sentimentality. Yeah, right, like
he’d be sticking around long enough to shield her. As if she needed shielding. She
could handle it. Hadn’t she handled much worse? “My hero,” she murmured, only half-joking.
“I’m no one’s hero.” He finished his wine and set it aside. They’d both had a few
glasses tonight, plus he’d had some brandy. No wonder they were both a little…different.
“You think you’re the only one who has a past people won’t forget. My dad wasn’t exactly
loved in this town. He had a rep for bar fights, and there’s still an imprint of his
fist in the wall at Connor’s Bar. Or so I’ve heard. Add in his penchant for sleeping
with married women while he was still with my mom and you see why some people haven’t
forgotten. He made quite the impression.”
“I never realized.”
He cracked the knuckles of one hand while his other slipped over her knee. “You’re
not like your parents or your brother and sister, Vic. You’re you, and there’s no
one else like you in the world.” When she shifted to look at him, he kept going. “Don’t
ever change, for anyone. Even me.”
She glanced down at her lap, her hair falling forward to hide her face. His words
revealed a part of him she’d never known. It was as if she was seeing him anew. He
brushed back the wind-tangled strands and left his fingers on her skin. Taunting her
with his nearness. “Victoria?”
She barely registered his voice. She wasn’t the only one who was alone. Despite the
women he’d dated in the past, she knew he didn’t want some quiet Stepford girlfriend
who didn’t make waves. That would bore him to tears in a week. He needed someone who
laughed loudly and cried easily and booty-danced because a friend was having a baby.
Someone who lived and loved hard.
And she needed a man who would never, ever waver in a commitment he made, who would
never forget his priorities—once he finally figured out what he wanted. Who would
always challenge her and keep her guessing and make her laugh.
She was beginning to think she knew exactly who that man was.
Cory had always driven home how important it was to shift strategies once new information
came to light. If it was up to her to show him how right they were for each other,
she’d take to her task with zeal. She’d do whatever it took.
“Victoria? Are you all right?”
The momentary indecision on his face cemented her decision. He cared for her, she
knew he did. If they were meant to be more than lovers, bumping up the depth of their
lie wouldn’t change that. And it might just make things clearer for them both.
Before she could respond, Cory steepled his fingers, obviously weighing something
in his mind. “Minus a few snafus, this evening went well, I think?”
It could’ve gone worse, she supposed. She mumbled in agreement.
“I think we should take advantage of our apparent…compatibility and schedule a few
more social events.”
“You only have me for two more weeks until your parents have their going-away party.”
As Cory cut his gaze to hers, she realized her reminder of their limited time had
not done what she’d hoped. “I mean, I have a lot of work commitments coming up, along
with magazine business, but with proper notice, we can—”
His jaw clenched, emphasizing the shadows highlighting his sharp cheekbones. “How
much proper notice are we talking about? You are supposed to be my girlfriend, are
you not?”
So much for making him want more. So far all she’d done was annoy him. As usual. “I
am,” she agreed quietly. “The love of your life.”
He shifted his face away, his profile so stark that she couldn’t decide if she wanted
to smooth a kiss over his temple or tickle him to loosen him up again.
Still, she couldn’t make herself too available to him. Part of their heat, she knew,
was her absolute unwillingness to concede ground to him easily. It made sense to continue
with a winning formula.
“As long as you give me proper notice, I’m sure we can mesh our schedules,” she added,
not expecting him to turn back with a snarl.
“What is this proper fucking notice shit? You used to be available when I wanted you.
Now you’re so important that I need to schedule everything?”
“Oooh, swearing. The master of all he sees is pissed.”
His lips twitched around a smile. “I’m not pissed. I just think it’s obvious how good
we are together. That’s why I think we should go out more. It would make things more
believable.”
Vicky rested her elbow on the back of the sofa and carefully nudged his hand off her
leg. “We can probably work something out.”
“Is that your way of brushing me off?” He looked down at his hand as if he was stunned
she hadn’t launched herself at him. It had been touch and go there for a while.
She needed to devise her game plan and snap her sexy back into place. It was definitely
at low ebb. If she crawled all over Cory now, she had no doubt whatsoever that their
hot sex would screw with her already-addled brain until she fell so far she couldn’t
climb back out. Taking the night to think would allow her to clarify her goals for
this experiment. Setting the parameters in her mind for what she wanted to achieve
would minimize risk.
Dirty deliciousness with an option to buy long-term. Sounded about right.
“Of course not. I just didn’t realize how late it was.” She struggled to keep her
voice even as she got to her feet. “Speaking of late…” She trailed off and feigned
a yawn. “I should get to bed.”
Alone
.
“Early day tomorrow?” His tone was rigidly polite, as if they hadn’t fucked in the
hay two hours ago.
Better yet, as if she didn’t wear the proof of his lies on her body. The red marks
from his lips on her neck. The bruises blooming on her hips from his rough grip.
The three little words he’d uttered that were practically imprinted on her psyche.
“Not earlier than normal, but busy. Jill and I are going on a buying trip for Friday’s
shoot.” She tried to sound cheerful. “Keeping her busy and out of trouble is my life’s
work. At least until she’s thirty or so. Only eight years to go.”
Rising, Cory let out a stilted laugh. “Why?”
“Because I told someone I cared about that I would,” she snapped as if that explained
everything. Now that she’d decided it was time for him to leave, he needed to just
go
before she changed her mind.
She didn’t want to talk anymore tonight. Particularly not to him. She felt way too
raw and vulnerable.
Her cell rang and she snatched it off the coffee table. “Hey, Dill. Is Nellie okay?”
“She’s fine. She and Jake—and Lex, who’s in full fret mode—went home to relax. It
was just those Braxton-whatever contractions. And gas. Man, I hate when my mom’s right.”
Dillon’s tone was so dry that she had to chuckle. “In this case it’s a good thing
though, since her being right means Nellie and the baby are okay.” She added a little
happy dance. “Tell Nellie to give me a call when she’s got some time. I told her I’d
help her plan out the nursery.”
“Will do. Pass on the info to Mr. Inscrutable if you don’t mind.”
Vicky snuck a look at Cory, biting her lip. “Sure thing, handyman.” Her endearment
made Dillon laugh and Cory scowl. “Thanks.”
She turned off her phone and started to speak, but Cory cut her off. “Nellie had some
sort of women’s issues this evening, I presume? The baby is fine?”
It only took ten sentences for Cory to sound like a jerk. She had to hand it to him.
“You presume correctly.”
“Glad to hear it.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth. “You
only met the lot of them tonight, right?”
She frowned. “Nellie and Jake and Lex? Yeah. I’ve seen them around when I’ve stopped
into Divine Flowers, but this is the first time we got to hang out.”
“Yet they’re your new best friends.” He shook his head. “You are a wonder.”
Before she could respond, he tilted his head. “You’ve told Jill and Bryan and your
sister about…us?”
“Yeah. Seems like necessary info for my family and a close friend, doesn’t it? The
photos told a good part of the story and I filled in the rest. Especially since if
I hadn’t, they would’ve heard the scuttlebutt around town and then gotten pissed.”
Rather than looking less uncomfortable, he looked more. “I know this is awkward for
you, lying to your friends and family. Even lying to mine bothers you. I’m sorry to
put you in that position.”
She slanted him a sly smile. “The only position you put me in tonight involved being
legs-up in the barn. I didn’t mind.” When his serious expression didn’t change, she
gave him a not-so-gentle push toward the door and yawned again. “Sorry to be such
a bad host.”
“I’m not a guest.”
“No. For now, you’re the love of my life.” She stepped around him to pull the chain
off the door and opened it to a chilly wind. It really was late, and she probably
should’ve asked him to stay. Knowing he wouldn’t alleviated some of her guilt. Some.
She looked back and found him studying her, his eyes hooded. “Maybe we should both
take some time to think about what that means, Cory.”
Chapter Ten
Monday morning’s magazine meeting went off without a hitch.
All right, there were a few hitches, Vicky acknowledged. For all their supposed eternal
love for each other, they still bickered like angry cats about light fixtures and
magazine advertorial articles and everything else under the sun. The only difference
was that this time Cory got his way in an argument by fisting his hand in her hair
and covering her still-going mouth with his. And she let him.
She spent the afternoon at the furniture store with Jill, arranging for a few last
pieces for the cover photo shoot to be delivered Thursday afternoon. The Chinese screen
and the pair of ornately carved mirrors she’d ordered from another store were due
in Wednesday. Not only did she love them, they would contribute to the staged room’s
positive feng shui.
Now if she could just feng shui her head, she’d be in business.
“You don’t really like that, do you?��
Vicky looked up at Jill’s approach, noting the shock of lavender that now layered
through her assistant’s baby-fine blond bangs. At twenty-two, Jill still hadn’t lost
her desire to grab attention by any means necessary. She was lucky many people thought
interior designers had a little room for creative personal expression or she would’ve
had to settle for a more natural hair color. Not that Vicky was that kind of boss.
Even if Jill hadn’t been her best friend, she wouldn’t have made her change. Changing
was no bueno, except when it came to the one thing Jill sought to change most—her
status as a virgin.
That V-card was a boulder on Jill’s back she tried to shed on a regular basis. Vicky
wasn’t about to allow such a thing to happen on her watch. If she herself couldn’t
have a long-term, stable,
normal
relationship, she was going to make sure Jill didn’t throw away what should be a
special occasion on somebody who wasn’t worthy of her. She could just forget it.
“Hello? You can’t be serious.” Jill gestured at the floral-patterned sofa Vicky had
been fondling for five minutes. “That thing is hideous.”
“No kidding,” Vicky muttered, consulting her checklist to avoid Jill’s perceptive
blue gaze. “Okay, I think we have everything we need from here. We’ll just stop by
Divine Flowers and pick up—”
“What’s wrong with you? You’re acting weird.”
Vicky got the same funny catch in her chest that she got whenever she thought about
Cory and their big lie. It usually accompanied a head rush and a sudden urge to remind
herself of her coping techniques. “Sorry. I just have a headache.”
“Didn’t you have a headache the night of my birthday party too? Isn’t that why you
skipped it?” Jill smirked. “It had to have been bad, if you missed a chance to chaperone
me at a place where there’s drinking
and
body grinding.”
“Oh, it was bad,” Vicky agreed, tucking her list into her purse.
“Yeah, that was the night after you and Cory got caught fucking.” She batted her lashes.
“Excuse me. Making sweet love. In a fracking gazebo.”
Vicky walked faster to the checkout counter. “Don’t remind me.”
“But that’s what happens when you’re in love. You can’t control yourself, right?”
Vicky glanced at Jill, her head rush turning into a sinking feeling that submerged
her whole body. God, that was truer than Jill knew. More true than even she’d guessed.
“What about all the Christmas stuff for the shoot?” she asked weakly. “You and Lorelie
took care of it, right? The tree and ornaments, all the other things we discussed?
I called ahead to Value Hardware and they’d arranged to have a lot of it ready for
us from their early stock—”
“Dude, I handled all that.” Jill grabbed her arm and propelled her through the miles
of sectionals and recliners toward the checkout area. “Which I told you earlier. Weren’t
you listening?”
No, not really
. She was completely off her game. Cory had thrown her in too many ways to count,
from submission in the barn right on down the line. “Just as long as I don’t have
to deal with any of that crap right now. I can’t handle Christmas stuff on top of
everything else.”
Jill peered up at her, her normally lively eyes surprisingly narrow. “Why? What ‘everything
else’ is there? You’re supposed to be
happy
about being in love, Vic. You’ve been waiting for it for so long.”
“Who says?”
“Me. Your best friend who knows you better than anyone else who doesn’t share a bloodline
with you.” Grinning, Jill tapped the diamond starfish necklace Vicky never took off,
a present from her mom years ago.
Surprised by a wave of sudden tears, Vicky glanced down just as her cell went off
in her purse. She tugged it out, saw Cory’s number, and let it go to voice mail, then
listened to his message.
“Honoring your advance notice policy, there’s a thing Wednesday night. I think it
would be good for us to go. There are some people I could introduce you to that I
think might be beneficial contacts for your business. Let me know.” She could tell
he was about to hang up when he added with an audible edge of amusement, “Sugarplum.”
Swallowing hard, she glanced at Jill, grateful to see that her assistant was chatting
with their salesperson, finalizing their Thursday deliveries.
God, she wasn’t in love with him, was she? Not all the way. She still had a little
bit of an escape route left.
She didn’t agree to go to the shindig with him until Tuesday. It hadn’t been her intention
to string him along, more that she couldn’t bear to talk to him. Unsurprisingly, he
was not pleased by the lateness of her reply, which she got when he proceeded to be
chilly as hell to her Wednesday night at the “get-together” that was really a catered
affair with tuxedoed servers, premium champagne, and caviar.
So
not her scene.
At least he kept up his end of the bargain and introduced her to several influential
people, two of whom had upcoming interior design jobs—one for a private residence
that was closer to a mansion than a house, and one for a new art gallery in Philadelphia.
Throughout the evening, she passed out business cards to wealthy, important people
and collected icy, impervious looks from her lover and tried to act like she wasn’t
overwhelmed by either.
He dropped her off and they agreed to see each other on the shoot on Friday. And that
was that. No kiss good-bye. Just a sort of unexplainable chill, which might’ve come
from her lack of haste to accept his invitation or maybe, more likely, he’d already
started to pull away.
This was all just temporary, after all.
Vicky tossed and turned half the night, then got through the next day at work like
a zombie. When she ended up tossing and turning again the next night, she pounded
her pillow and relived the previous night’s crappy non-date all over again. In spite
of her supposed plans, she’d come so close to spewing out her confusing feelings in
the car—even in spite of his unrelieved coldness to her—that she’d had to get away
before she ruined everything. Those feelings had nothing to do with harmless infatuation.
They went way deeper than that, and denying them only made her more of a liar.
Lying ran deep in her family, at least in her branch of it. She’d lied to her mother
during their visit that evening, putting on a happy facade because she knew her mother
needed to see that. She didn’t understand that Vicky still had bad dreams about being
left. And lately, she had daydreams about leaving herself. Running away from her problems
and her life. Tossing her chips on the table just like good ol’ dad. Why not? What
did she have to lose?
The faces of the people she loved scrolled through her mind, and she sighed. She had
a lot to lose.
A lot
. She was just overtired and overstressed and overcome. She’d soldier through, like
she always did. She wasn’t the type to bail when the going got tough—even if she couldn’t
help imagining it now and then.
And…sleep was not happening. Again. To try to keep her mind busy, she finished her
antiquing article—her final article for this issue of the magazine, thank God—and
e-mailed it to Cory, then aimlessly surfed the web.
Was he still up, too, staring at his ceiling? Maybe working in bed, barefoot and bare-chested
and looking unspeakably delectable? Perhaps he was online, talking astronomy with
his fellow geeks. What had his chat group been called? Skychat or Moonview or something.
She could run a quick search, see what came up. He’d told her about it willingly,
so she wouldn’t be stalking him. Much.
After a fruitless half hour, she hit pay dirt. The group was called Celestia, and
it was based in nearby Penderville. She clicked into the chat room, and lo and behold,
there were five other people logged in. One of them might even be Cory.
A member had used the name Ra, so she played a hunch and chose the name Goddess Nut.
In many versions of Egyptian mythology, Ra was the god of the sun and Nut was the
goddess of the sky, as well as Ra’s wife. She was also the mother of Osiris, whose
embodiment in the stars was sometimes said to be Orion. Freaking
Orion
.
Sometimes being a nerd came in handy.
Though she knew she was likely wasting her time, she started chatting with the group
about the recent meteor shower. Almost right away she got an instant message from
Ra. Her heart picked up speed as she clicked on it, but she tried to remain calm.
It might be him. It might not be.
So you sleep with your brother?
She laughed out loud. In mythology, the father of Nut’s children was her brother Geb.
Only when the pickings are slim.
A reply appeared immediately.
They are tonight.
I’m talking to you, aren’t I?
Yes, for the next few minutes. How are you this evening?
She bit her lip. Did she dare? The style of speech and lack of typos fit Cory, but
it was a pretty big leap. She didn’t even know he was online. Hell, she didn’t even
know if he was home.
Ah, what the hell. If she got a weird feeling, she could always hit the X.
I’m horny.
Just typing those two words made her flush.
Are you?
The resulting pause lasted so long she thought Ra had signed off. She kept chatting
in the main room, one eye always on that solid blue box at the side of her screen.
Then it blinked.
You do realize this is Celestia and not Sexee Chat, right?
She laughed again. Sexee Chat was a local phone line advertised on the cable channels
late at night.
Maybe I like geek sex. Game?
How do you have online sex? Do you rub on your monitor? Mount your hard drive?
A helpless giggle spilled out of her.
Yes. Lots of rubbing. Lots of fingering…the keys.
So is this where I ask what you’re wearing? And you answer a thong and a smile?
I’m actually wearing a nightshirt with Hello Kitty on it. Please, no pussy jokes.
I’ll try to refrain. So what now?
She rubbed her knuckles against her thigh. If this wasn’t Cory, would this be considered
cheating? She glanced at her phone. Maybe she should call him and ask.
Or she could just play along a little longer.
How are you at talking dirty?
Less than ideal. Doing dirty, however, I’m pretty good at.
She couldn’t argue with that.
We could get on a webcam then.
His answer was quick.
No way. Are you single?
She didn’t hesitate. Whatever Cory felt about their odd union, to her it counted as
a real relationship. He was her lover and there was no arguing that.
No. Are you?
Her heart thudded while she waited for a reply.
No. Honestly, I don’t know why I’m even doing this. But I saw your screen name and
it reminded me of someone.
She shut her eyes and typed faster, almost positive it was him. It had to be.
So I’ll be whomever you need. I’ll be your fantasy. It doesn’t matter who gets you
off, does it?
Her usage of those particular phrases had been intentional. She’d hoped to remind
him of the bathroom. Of
her
…and him, together.
Yes. It does matter.
With that, Ra signed off.
Vicky stared at the screen in the dark, her disappointment so acute that her chest
hurt. Now she’d never know if it had been him or not.
Then her phone rang.
She lifted it to her ear with shaking fingers, too afraid to check who it was. “You
almost had me.” Cory’s voice flowed through her, warm and rich and so familiar that
she shuddered.
Thank God. She sucked in a giddy breath. “You’re calling awfully late. It’s after
three.”
“Not too late for you obviously. Did you really think you’d fool me?” When she didn’t
reply, he grunted. “Or did you not realize you were about to cyber-sex with your own
lover? You thought I was another man.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Cyber-sex?” She did her best to sound innocent.
“That’s so tawdry.”
“You’re the one who propositioned me. If you’re really so horny, you could’ve been
more receptive to me last night.”
“I could’ve been more receptive to
you
? You didn’t even touch me.” Indignation bloomed in her voice.
“Now all of a sudden you’re the shy type who waits for the man to make all the moves?”
He continued before she could answer. “You didn’t know it was me online, did you,
Victoria?”
He sounded so peeved that she had to grin. Maybe it was wrong, but she loved making
him jealous. She loved that she could. “Of course I knew. I hoped it was you. I logged
on specifically, hoping you were online so we could—”
So they could do what, exactly?
“So you could pop my cyber-cherry?” he asked softly, his voice octaves lower than
it had been a moment before.
“I’ve never done it. I don’t even really know how.”