43
IT WAS a little before ten o’clock when Yancey awoke. The morning was clear and cool, with thin clouds streaking the sky. The house was quiet as Yancey moved from her bed’s frigid sheets and went into the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and then washed her face with imported lavender soap.
She returned to her bedroom and sat near the head of her bed. As she looked at the phone and the remote control, Yancey was thinking about Derrick and Madison, trying to decide whether or not she should call, or avoid calling by watching television. She picked up the remote control and pressed the button, and suddenly she was looking at Rosie O’Donnell.
The night before she had dreamed about Derrick and Basil. They were asking her to choose and they were both holding children. Derrick with a little girl. Basil was holding a little boy. Yancey had turned and run down a dark alley with the children crying, “Mommy, please come back.”
The phone rang and Yancey put the television on “mute.”
“Hello.”
“Yancey.”
“Derrick?” Her voice sounded genuinely shocked.
“How are you doing?”
“I’m doing well. This is so strange. I was just thinking about you,” Yancey said softly.
“Were you thinking good thoughts?”
“Derrick.”
“Okay, I won’t go there. I wanted to give you a little time to think about everything. But my sister is getting close to crossing over and I just wanted you to know,” Derrick said.
“I’m sorry to hear that. How is your family holding up?” She wanted to ask how Madison was handling things, but she still couldn’t say her name.
“Oh, we’re a strong family, and right now all we’re trying to do is be supportive, being there for Jennifer and making sure Madison is fine.”
“That’s good,” Yancey said softly. For a moment she wondered what Madison looked like. Did she favor Derrick? Herself? Or was she a combination of her parents?
“So, have you thought any more about my offer?”
“Your offer?”
“Yeah, about becoming a part of our lives.”
“How does your sister feel about this?”
“Jen wants what’s best for Madison and me. That’s what’s important to her. She was happy when I told her about seeing you and telling you about Madison.”
“Derrick, I’ve still got a couple of things to work out. If you need money or anything, I will be in the position to help you at the beginning of the year,” Yancey said.
“Yancey, we don’t want your money. We have a comfortable life,” Derrick said.
“I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m just trying to let you know I want to help.”
“I understand. But I’ve told you what I want you to do. I just don’t know if I can wait forever.”
“Derrick, I need more time.”
“How much time?”
“I don’t know. Derrick, I’ll call you soon,” Yancey said. She hung up the phone without saying good-bye or saying her daughter’s name.
YANCEY
spent the next hour staring at a mute television. It did register at some point that Rosie had gone off and
The View
was now on. She thought the show might take her mind off Derrick and Madison, so she hit the “volume” button. A few minutes later the phone rang.
“Hello.”
“Yancey! This is Lois. I’ve got some great news.”
“What?” Yancey asked flatly.
“A couple of things. The producers of
Chicago
called and made an offer for you to star on Broadway for three months and then do the part in London.”
“London? I don’t want to go to London. I’m getting married,” Yancey said.
“But this is a great opportunity! I’m sure after you do London there is a chance you can come back to Broadway again,” Lois said.
“What part of ‘I don’t want to go to London’ don’t you understand? What’s the other news?”
“I got a call from George Tillman’s agent. You know, the guy who did
Soul Food
.”
“Yeah?” This sounded better to Yancey.
“He’s doing a new film and he wants you to read for the female lead. Cuba Gooding, Jr., and Robert De Niro are already signed up.”
“That’s wonderful! I love all three of those men,” Yancey said. She stood up from her bed and moved her right hand through her hair.
“Well, you can thank the producers of
Chicago
,” Lois said.
“How so?”
“It seems George Tillman’s wife saw you doing
Chicago
in Vegas, and I’m pretty sure she told him about you.”
“So I’ll have to thank them, but I’m still not listening to what they are talking about. If they can’t give me an extended run on Broadway, then I’m not interested. There have got to be some new shows coming up or workshops. It’s time for me to get my Tony Award and I’m not going to get one taking over roles somebody else has already done. You do understand that, don’t you?”
“I don’t think you should make a rash decision. I’ll call Mr. Tillman’s people and set up a screen test and I’ll keep my ears to the floor about workshops. How are the wedding plans coming?”
“Fine, I guess. My mother is handling everything.”
“Aren’t you lucky? I’m looking forward to meeting your mother.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you meet her. I’ve got to run. It’s time for me to get to the gym.”
“Have fun. I’ll call you when I have something set up. Have a great day.”
“I will.”
Before Yancey left for the gym she placed a call to Basil and left him a message saying she was thinking about him. No reason for him to notice a drop-off in her sweet messages because she knew he slept with men, she thought. She then called Ava to give her an update on her career and Derrick.
After a few minutes of Ava updating her on the wedding plans, Yancey told her about her earlier phone call.
“I think this is bordering on harassment,” Ava said.
“What are you talking about?”
“Derrick calling you. You told him you’d call him once you made a decision. If you want me to take care of him, I will.”
“I can take care of Derrick,” Yancey said. God knows what Ava would do, and Yancey didn’t have any money for bail.
“I hope you’re not leading him on.”
“I might be. Who knows? I might be looking for a new husband next year.” Yancey laughed, trying to put some humor in the conversation.
“I hope after you get out of this marriage coming up, you’ll just take some time and enjoy your newfound wealth. You don’t need a husband to do that.”
“You got that right. Basil called me last night and I sweet-talked him just the same.”
“That’s a smart thing to do. I guess I taught you well.” Ava laughed.
“To borrow a phrase from the B-boys, True dat,” Yancey replied.
44
I TOOK THE train back from Washington, D.C., and was greeted by a rainstorm. I got in a cab and called Yancey. No answer. I figured this was as good a time as any to pick up the tape and see what my bride-to-be was up to. When I reached the apartment, I rang the bell to make sure Yancey or Windsor had not returned. After a few rings, I called her number again on my cell. Still no answer, so I took the key and entered. From the foyer I called out both Yancey’s and Windsor’s names. The house was silent.
I went into Yancey’s bedroom and quickly removed the tiny recorder from under the table and the phone. My heart was beating faster, and I suddenly felt like Shaft.
When I arrived at my apartment, I looked through my mail, had a beer, and changed into some jeans and a knit shirt. I sat the recorder on my coffee table, then reviewed the instructions on playback. Once I figured out how to get the tape in the secret compartment to play, I suddenly felt a little anxious. What would I hear and how would it affect my relationship with Yancey? I had no clue as to what I was in for.
The first couple of conversations were with Yancey’s agent and a couple of people calling about bills. All the phone conversations were pretty boring until I got to a call between Yancey and her mother. I couldn’t believe Yancey and her mother were checking into my finances and personal life. When I heard Ava telling Yancey in another call about my visits to the doctor, I stopped the tape and hit the table with my fist so hard that I hurt my hand and had to ice it down.
I turned the tape back on and heard an interesting conversation, with Ava doing most of the talking.
“Yancey, darling, I’m on top of the world.”
“What happened?”
“Sister, I just had the best sex I’ve ever had.”
“I thought you said your husband was below average in
bed.”
“He is. But Hector of overnight express isn’t. He is the
best fuck I’ve ever had.”
“You slept with him?”
“There was no sleeping going on. We checked into a suite
at the Beverly Hills Hilton and we fucked over every inch of
the space. I feel like a new woman.”
“Are you going to see him again?”
“Are you kidding? As fast and as often as I can.”
“Ava, please be careful. Your husband might not be as
lame as you think.”
“I don’t care. I’ve got to have that man again.”
“Well, I know how good a roll in the sheets is. If Basil
starts to slack up, then I might need to start sending myself
some packages and see what I can drum up.”
I was pacing back and forth wondering first what in the fuck was going on with Yancey and second, how I was going to sue the fuck out of that dumb-assed doctor I had trusted with my secrets.
How in the hell could something
like this happen?
I thought as I went to the fridge for another beer. I walked back into the living room and turned the tape back on. I skipped over a couple of calls, and stopped when I heard a man’s voice. It was Derrick. It sounded like Yancey was telling the truth about his sister being sick. But who was Madison? Then I came across a call that revealed what I was dealing with.
“When is that Darla child coming in?”
“A week before the wedding. She’s trying to set up some
meetings with agents. Even though I think that’s going to be
tough with her limited talent. And even though she has a
good body, she’s not that cute. Did I tell you what she told
me about Nicole Springer?”
“Nicole Springer? I haven’t heard that name in a while.
What about her?”
“She has twins.”
“I didn’t think she could have kids.”
“Well, she does. I guess I didn’t put enough of that shit in
her coffee to kill her. I heard she’s going to be in that show
Dottie
as well.”
“You should be in that too. And if we get another chance
to get her ass, you let me know. This time I will make sure
she spends more than a few days in bed.”
I shook my head. I couldn’t believe that Yancey and her mother had tried to do someone major damage. That had to be a mistake. Maybe I was hearing things, or they were joking, even though their voices sounded dead serious. Most of the times they were talking about wedding plans, but then I came across a conversation that would have destroyed a weak mofo’s soul.
“I’m going to call Derrick
and ask him not to call me anymore. Even when his sister
passes.”
“I’m so happy you’re finally listening to me. There’s nothingyou can do for Derrick and that child.”
“Ava, stop referring to her as that child. Like it or not,
she’s your granddaughter and one day we both are going to
have to deal with her.”
“I’m nobody’s grandmother. And you don’t have to deal
with her unless you want to. How can I drive it into that
thick skull of yours that when you signed those papers givingthat child up for adoption, your responsibility ended.
When you get married or when you divorce that sick man
you’re marrying, you will have enough money to make sure
Derrick and that child never find you.”
“I am kinda curious how she looks.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I’ve just been thinking about that a lot the
last couple of days. She will be the only child I ever have.”
“That’s a wise move. They won’t do anything but get in
your way, and if you ever get married again, marry somebody
old who’s already done the father thing. There are plenty of
old-ass men like that.”
“I doubt if I’d ever marry again. Once is enough for havingbabies and getting married.”
“You got that right. Is Basil still out of town?”
“Yeah. I’m glad. I don’t want to have to be around his lyingass until it’s absolutely necessary. It’s a good thing I’m a
great actress ’cause I’m going to need it the next couple of
weeks.”
“He doesn’t need to know what we know until you’re
ready to take the money and run.”
“What if he refuses to give me half?”
“You’re holding all the cards, sweetheart. How many
times have you told me how important that Football Hall of
Fame is to him? All you got to do is threaten to spill the
beans about Mr. Henderson’s sex life. Maybe we can find
that Raymond guy. There’s no way he’s going to get any Hall
of Fame nothing if this shit reaches the press.”
“I know you’re right. He’ll write me a check so fast the
ink won’t be dry by the time I get to the bank.”
“He better. I’m investing a lot in this make-believe wedding.I expect big returns on my investment.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll see a nice little profit. I promise.”
“I believe you, darling. I’ve got to run. It’s way early in
the morning. This wedding takes up most of my day. I still
got a husband I need to keep in the fold.”
“You do that. I’ll talk with you later.”
I hit the “stop” button and felt my head swimming. I started to slam the machine to the floor, but there were still more recordings to listen to. I started shaking my head from side to side, asking myself how I could fall in love with a woman like Yancey. A woman who would turn her back on a child, then try and blackmail me. She had no clue who she was fucking with. I had to stop these crazy women before they destroyed not only my career but what was left of my heart.
I had become comfortable in the sulky silence of my apartment. I was trying to decide what to do next when my phone rang.
Who is calling me this late,
I thought as I moved from the sofa and looked at the caller ID, which displayed
“Out of Area.”
I didn’t feel like talking to anyone, but for some reason I hit the “speaker” button and sat back on the sofa.
“Speak,” I commanded.
“Basil.” I recognized the voice immediately. It was Raymond Tyler, number two on my list of mofos I didn’t want to talk to.
“Raymond. Whassup? Are you calling to tell me again how worthless and wrong I am?”
“Naw, man. You’ve just been on my mind lately, and I called to apologize.”
“Apologize? For what?”
“I was pretty hard on you when you asked me to be in your wedding. I don’t know what got into me. If you’ve found someone who makes you happy, then I’m happy for you,” Raymond said.
“So you calling to say you want to be in my wedding?” I asked. I slipped off my loafers and started to remove my socks.
“No. I still don’t think that’s a wise move, but I will try and make the wedding if you invite me.”
“Don’t worry. I don’t need you in my wedding ’cause there ain’t gonna be one,” I said.
“Why not?”
“Man, females ain’t shit, men ain’t shit. The whole world is filled with a lot of sick mutherfuckers who just keep passing the hurt on from generation to generation. That’s why niggahs ain’t ever gonna get nowhere. We just keep hurtin’ each other.”
“What’s the matter, Basil? You sound really sad.”
“No shit, Mr. Tibbs.”
“What happened? Why aren’t you getting married?”
I didn’t answer Raymond immediately, partly because I didn’t know if I was getting married or not. I stood up and unbuckled my pants and let them drop to the floor.
“Basil? Are you still there?” Raymond’s voice was filling my apartment just like Yancey’s and her mother’s had earlier. But I could talk back to Raymond and tell him what I was feeling.
“Yeah, I’m still here,” I said as I pulled my shirt over my head. There I was, standing in a dark apartment, stripped down to my black boxer briefs.
“Man, I don’t know whassup, but I’m here if you need me.”
“Are you really?”
“Yeah.”
“You gonna be there if I end up blowin’ some mofos up?” My words were weak-sounding, without conviction. I was mad, but I wasn’t about to kill nobody and have to spend the rest of my life behind bars. Yancey wasn’t worth that.
“You’re not going to do that,” Raymond said firmly.
“So you think you know me, huh?”
“I know you’re not going to kill anybody. Do you want to talk about what’s got you so upset?”
Raymond’s question sounded just like a lawyer’s.
Maybe he can help me,
I thought.
“How much time you got?” I asked.
“As much time as you need,” Raymond responded.
“Hold on for a minute or two,” I said as I went to the kitchen and pulled out another beer. I took a couple of long swigs before I walked back into the living room. I turned on a lamp and sat the beer bottle on the coffee table directly in front of the sofa.
“Are you still there, Mr. Tyler?”
“I’m still here.”
For the next half hour I told Raymond my sad, sick love story. He didn’t say much and when he did, I could tell he was choosing his words carefully. His elegant, deep voice was comforting and made me feel safe exposing something so embarrassing. I had to admit that one of the things I liked about Raymond was his sensitivity, something I wished I could express with someone besides Campbell and Cade.
“So what should I do?” I finally asked.
“Where do you want to start?”
“What about my doctor? Can I sue him for allowing the information to get out?”
Raymond said, “You know us modern-day black folks. We don’t march anymore. We sue.”
“Come on, be serious,” I said.
“You could, but you wouldn’t win if he could prove he had nothing to do with the information getting out, which it sounds like he didn’t. You might have a case against whoever in his office with the lack of ethics, but you probably won’t get any money.”
“I don’t want any money. I got my own money. I just want somebody to pay.”
“You want to know what I think you should really do?”
“What?”
“Move on. I know it might not be easy, especially if you still love this lady, who sounds like she has a lot of problems of her own. But remember what you said earlier about us hurting each other?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, you have a chance to stop the hurt in your own life right now.”
“How do I do that?”
“I know this might be difficult, because it was for me, but you can’t lead the rest of your life with secrets that can destroy everything you’ve achieved and worked for.”
“So what are you saying? That I should tell the world I’ve slept with men and women? You sound like somebody else I know.” Raymond and Zurich must be cut from the same jock, I thought.
“That’s not what I’m saying. But you were saying how this young lady was going to spill the information to the press if you cancel this wedding so close to the date, and how that might hurt your chances for the Hall of Fame, right?”
“That’s what she said.”
“So what are you going to do? Deny it?”
“Sounds like a plan to me. Can’t nobody prove it unless they got some videotape. I’m freaky but I ain’t into recording it. Besides, Yancey’s got some secrets as well. Some shit she doesn’t want her adoring public to know.”
“So you guys are going to settle your differences in the papers? Keep slinging the dirt and the hurt?”
I was thinking about the questions Raymond was asking, trying to come up with a plan where I could still hold on to some of my dreams. Like having Campbell, Cade, and my father sitting in the audience proudly when I was inducted in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. That wasn’t going to happen if it was up to Yancey and Ava. I still wanted children of my own, but what if my past kept getting in the way?
“Is that what you want to do?” Raymond asked. His voice brought me out of my trance of questions.
“I don’t know what I want,” I said sadly.
“Let me ask you something we’ve been avoiding.”
Well, here it comes,
I thought.
Raymond is getting ready
to ask me if I’m still attracted to men. He’s going to say
something silly and gay like “Pick a lane and stay in it.”