Not Another Soldier (21 page)

Sighing, I drop the paper on the breakfast bar. “Okay,
so seeing as I have a whole day with you and I trust you not to get in trouble
while I’m at your side, what shall we do?”

Coming to stand in front of me again, her gaze darts
to the bedroom and her cheeks go all cute and red. This woman will really be
the death of me. We already managed to keep each other up most of the night. I
swear she’s insatiable. This new found confidence of hers is both a blessing
and a curse. I can’t deny having a hot woman ready to go at any moment is any
man’s dream, but I am thirty. I snort inwardly. At least I won’t need a workout
today. I’ve had enough exercise to last me the week. I have to fight the smug
smile threatening to slip across my face.

“Maybe… maybe we could go on a date?” she suggests
shyly.

A date? Shit, I’m such a dick. I’ve slept with her,
asked her to marry me, but I’ve never even taken her out on a date. I jump up
and pull her close. She instantly softens into me. It makes my heart skip when
she does that. I want to bundle her up against me and protect her from
everything. Hide her away and never let anyone hurt her again. But I guess if
anything, this stuff with Rob has proved to both of us that she’s stronger than
she realizes.

“You got it, babe,” I tell her as she pulls back. “I’m
taking you on a date. Maybe later you can wear those sexy red heels out too.”

She laughs. “Maybe.”

“And then maybe you can say yes to the best guy you
know.”

“Nick…” She shoots me a ‘don’t go there’ look.

I shrug. “Hey, a guy can try.”

“You don’t give up easily, I’ll give you that.”

I don’t say anything as I grab my car keys and slip on
my sneakers but she can be damn sure I’m not going to give up. Today I’m going
to show her exactly why she should be marrying me. I grin to myself. My worry
for her has been replaced by determination. Sienna doesn’t have a chance in
hell. I managed to change her mind about me once. I can do it again.

Sienna

I tilt my head back and just enjoy the sun on my face.
The smell of the ocean washes over me. When I raise my head, I see tankers off
in the distance. The sounds of traffic and waves mingle, and I glance at the
handsome man next to me.

I can’t believe he asked me to marry him. Honestly, I
had to bite my tongue not to say yes. But it’s only been a month since I buried
Rob. One month. Would it be disrespectful to jump into an engagement after such
short time as a widow? Aren’t you meant to stay in mourning or something?
Problem is, I don’t feel like I’m in mourning anymore. Not for my marriage, and
not for Rob.

I am sorry. Sorry things went so wrong for him and
sorry for a person so lost that he had to get involved with lowlife criminals
in some weird bid to prove himself. I’m sorry I wasn’t enough for him and
didn’t recognize how bad things had gotten.

But I feel happy again, for the first time in years.
I’m free. And I have closure. I think I understand now why Rob married me and
why he treated me the way he did. Nick’s helped me to see that. Actually he’s
helped me see a lot. In a way, it wasn’t space or time that I needed to find
myself again. It was just Nick.

However, just because he’s helped me, doesn’t mean I
should leap into another marriage.

I pick at my burger and throw a few crumbs to the
seagulls. We’re both quiet but it’s not uncomfortable. His arm rests around my
shoulder, a subtle reminder of whatever is going on between us. I’m not quite
sure how to classify it. Boyfriend and girlfriend? We’ve only been exploring
this attraction for—what?—two days? And now he wants to marry me.

And part of me knows we would be amazing together.
Heck, we already are. I’ve never had sex like it. Never wanted someone almost
constantly. And never felt comfortable and loved enough to go for it. Today has
been wonderful. But I knew it would be. The benefit of falling in love with
your friend is you already enjoy their company. You don’t need to adjust, to
put on a façade or learn new things about them. Nick is as charming and as
funny and as sexy as ever.

Taking one last bite out of my burger, I offer Nick
the rest and he takes it with a grin. “Not hungry?”

“Nope, I’m stuffed. I think the cotton candy did me
in.”

Smile expanding, he crams it in his mouth. I shake my
head as his inelegance. How I find
that
sexy, I have no idea.

I cradle my full stomach. I definitely overindulged
today. We went down to the fair and honestly, it was like we were kids again.
Going on rides, playing games, eating so much crap. Nick seems to have lost
that overprotective edge and we had a blast.

“You going to want to eat out tonight?”

I ponder this. I’m pretty stuffed but he promised me a
night all dolled up in my red heels. And I do want to dress up for him. So far
he’s pretty much only seen me at my scruffiest. I know he’s seen me dressed up
for the officer’s events but that was different. I wasn’t dressing for him.
Tonight, I want to go all out.

“Yeah, but maybe I’ll stick to a salad. And no
dessert.” I grimace at the idea of more sugar and we both laugh.

I must admit though, as much as I can’t wait to see
him all dressed up too, I’m looking forward to a relaxed night in soon. Things
have been so crazy, especially with this insane chemistry between us. I kind of
miss curling up on the sofa and watching films with him.

That’s what I could have all the time if I marry him,
I realize.

But what about the days when he’s gone?

“Nick?” I twist on the bench to face him. “Will you
really not get sent away again?”

He looks surprised at my sudden question. I don’t know
why. Surely he gets why I have reservations about being with a soldier again?
But then I don’t think soldiers understand the loneliness fully. It’s all right
for them. Even in the midst of a battle, they’re surrounded by their brothers.

“I won’t go to war again.” He taps his leg. “Not with
this.”

“Do you want to go to war again?”

“Sort of. More ‘cause I want to be doing my part. It’s
not nice sitting behind a desk while all the other guys are out there, putting
themselves in danger.”

“But you still love the Marines, don’t you?”

A wistful look comes across his face. “You mean, in
spite of the fact I’m pushing papers and have a busted leg?”

“I don’t mean it like that.”

“Yeah, I still enjoy it. The camaraderie, the routine.
You don’t get that in any other job.”

“No, I guess you don’t.” I fail to hide my little
sigh.

Nick grasps my hand resting on my lap and gives it a
squeeze. “I’d give it all up for you, sweetheart. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I do. But I won’t let you.”

As much as life with a soldier scares me—the
unpredictability, the job having such jurisdiction over your life—I know it’s
so much a part of Nick’s life. So much a part of Nick. He wouldn’t be who he is
if he wasn’t a Marine, and if I love him, I’ve got to also love the fact he’s a
Marine.

I sigh again, this time inwardly. As high as I still
feel on all of this, I guess reality is starting to sink in. What we’ve had so
far hasn’t been real. Days and nights in each other’s company with adrenaline
and excitement driving us. I need to play it safe as much as I want to jump
into his arms and say I’ll marry him.

Just for the moment.

Settle back into work and normal life, and see what
happens. I assume Nick’s planning to stay a lot more at my place seeing as he’s
dumped half his stuff at my apartment now. I’m surprised he hasn’t set up his
X-box there yet.

The warmth of his hand on mine seeps into me and makes
me lose my train of thought. When I peer up at him, he’s staring at me in that
way that makes my skin tingle. Deep blue eyes take in every fragment of me, and
I can’t resist lifting my free hand and running it along his rough jaw.

Damn, this man is sexy with his slightly crinkled eyes
and raw features. Just looking at him makes my mouth water. And then he leans
down to brush his lips across mine and steals my breath too.

Yeah, I definitely have some thinking to do. But I’m
not going to do it just yet.

Tomorrow. I’ll think about marrying him tomorrow.

***

Well I haven’t had a single second to think. God, I
can’t wait for this shift to end. It hasn’t been a bad one and the day shift
tends to go more quickly, but knowing Nick is waiting for me back at the
apartment makes my feet twitch. I itch to feel his hard body pressed against
mine and his strong lips tasting my mouth.

I smile to myself and one of my colleagues catches it
and shakes her head. Most of the nurses have noticed the change in me today. I
feel lighter. It’s such a cliché but it’s like I’m floating. Even dealing with
a  patient’s frustrated husband and a confused old man who was really
angry about not being allowed to smoke didn’t faze me.

Glancing at the clock, I pat Mrs. Pohlman’s arm and
hook up her N.G. tube. “I’m finishing in a minute, Mrs. Pohlman. I’ll be back
in tomorrow.”

“Thank you, dear. Enjoy your time with your new
boyfriend.”

My cheeks heat. I haven’t told her anything about him
but I guess gossip must be flying around the ward after my time off, and I know
Nick’s appearance in the lobby after I was attacked probably drew some
attention.

“Thank you.”

The night shift nurses have already started to come in
so we gather around the office desk at one end of the ward and start rounds.
Thankfully, it’s been a quiet shift so there’s not much to tell. I can’t wait
to get out of here.

“Oh, Sienna, do you know a Mandy Smith?” the head
nurse, June, asks me as I get up to leave.

“I don’t think so. Why?”

“She was being admitted as I came in. She’s from Fort
Worth. I just wondered if you had been friends with her.”

I rub my forehead. “I don’t think so.”

“Shame. I heard them saying she’s got no family around
and her husband’s away. Suspected miscarriage.”

My heart pangs for her. “Where is she?”

“E.R.”

“I’ll pop down and see her. Maybe I can get in touch
with someone from the base for her.”

“Thanks, Sienna.” June grins, a twinkle in her eye.
“Enjoy your evening.”

I roll my eyes. Does
everyone
know about Nick?
“I will. See you tomorrow.”

Grabbing my handbag, I take the lift down to the
emergency department. One of the nurses directs me to a bay when I ask for her.
When I find her and draw back the green plastic curtain, I’m surprised by how
young she is. Probably younger than I was when I first married Rob. Twenty-one
maybe.

“Mandy?”

“Yes?” Wide pale blue eyes stare at me. Her skin is
ashen, her eyes sunken.

The slender blonde girl looks so scared, I want to
bundle her in my arms. I come to her side and put a hand to her arm. “My name
is Sienna. I used to live in Fort Worth. I was just wondering if there was
anyone I could get hold of for you? I still have the numbers of a few of the
military wives. One of the nurses said your husband was away?”

 “He is.” Mandy bites her lip. “I don’t know
anyone though. We’ve only been there a little while and my family is from
Texas.”

She looks on the verge of tears. “It’s okay, honey.
I’ll stay with you.”

“They say I’m losing the baby. I begged Tom not to go.
I knew this would happen.”

I draw in a breath. God, it’s so unfair. “Everything
will be okay,” I assure her though I’m not sure I believe it. She’s so young.
Will she ever get over the loss of her baby? Will she ever forgive her husband
for going? Yes, he’s just doing his job, but it doesn’t stop the bitterness you
feel, knowing the job is more important than you. I remember it well. Will I
feel the same about Nick if I marry him? I know he won’t go on tour but that
doesn’t mean he won’t be away and he’ll always have the military dictating his
life, whatever he seems to think.

A tear escapes down her cheek and I wrap my arm around
her.

“Are you still an army wife?” she asks.

“No. My-my husband died.”

“I’m sorry. Was he shot?”

“No. He died in a car accident.”

“Do you miss the army life?”

I pause as I try to think how to answer this. Do I lie
and tell her it will get better? “It’s not been very long for me. But I never
got into it like some women do.”

“I don’t think I ever will either.” She winces and
clutches her stomach. “Oh, God, it’s all… wet… down there,” she whispers.

“Can I look? I’m a nurse.” I motion to my uniform.

Mandy nods and I lift the sheets. Blood has pooled all
over the bed beneath her. Years of keeping a poker face means I don’t react but
it’s not good. She’s lost a lot of blood.

“I’m just going to get a nurse.” I offer a gentle
smile. “Try to relax. Everything will be fine.” I grit my jaw as I hurry to
grab a nurse. I’m not so sure everything really will be fine. Problem is I
don’t know if I mean Mandy or myself.

***

Nick

A key in the door rattles and I’m instantly on alert.
I straighten and turn to watch Sienna enter the apartment. I’ve been on the
fucking edge all day waiting for her to come home. Truthfully, I don’t know how
women do it. I’ve still got some leave but I think I’m going to have to go back
to work tomorrow. It’s driving me truly insane.

Of course, it doesn’t help I spent most of the day
worrying about her. One brief text saying she was tied up was all I got. Even a
long session at the gym didn’t help. Hell, I even cleaned up and
that
didn’t get rid of my tension.

She drops her bag by the door and gives me a weak
smile. “Oh, you’re here. I didn’t know if you would be.”

My gut twists. Something is up. I don’t like that
washy look in her eyes. What happened to being thrilled to see me? What
happened to her looking like she’s ready to jump into bed with me at any
moment? ‘Cause that’s pretty much how she’s been looking at me for the past few
days.

“I was worried.” It comes out harsher than I meant and
I feel like I’m snapping at her. “I was about to call the cops.”

“I’m sorry. I did text.” She frowns and her cheeks
redden a little but I don’t think it’s with remorse. She seems angry. “I am
busy, you know? I can’t just drop everything because of you.”

I stand and hold my hands up. “I didn’t mean it like
that, Sienna. But you gotta realize that with everything going on I’d be
concerned. One text a few hours ago didn’t really cut it.”

Sienna tugs out her ponytail and shakes loose her
hair. I’m torn between pacing forward and burying my fingers in that hair, and
kissing her until every ounce of anger is gone, or storming out before I lose
my temper. How can she not understand how worried I was for her? It’s not like
I’m being possessive. She’s just had a run-in with some dangerous criminals. Of
course I’m going to be shitting myself when I don’t hear from her.