... not in love with Kale Eddison (22 page)

“Izzie dear, is
everything ok?”

Izzie smiled at
her grandmother; she knew her too well. “Not really but I can’t do
anything about it; I’m doing the right thing – even though it hurts
like hell.”

Her grandmother
looked sympathetic, “I think this calls for some coffee, I’ll put
the kettle on and then you can tell me all about it, ok?”

Izzie nodded
gratefully as she watched her grandmother make her way into the
kitchen while she grabbed the remote and started flicking through
the TV channels with more force than necessary. She had just
settled on a re-run of a sitcom when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it
Gran,” Izzie called into the kitchen as she jumped up and slowly
made her way to the front door. She sighed heavily as she opened
the door and then felt her mouth fall open …

Kale looked
relieved that she had actually answered the door but Izzie didn’t
feel ready to face him again; especially when all the nasty things
she had said to him came rushing back to her.

“Kale,” she
managed to get out, “What are you doing here?”

Kale sighed,
“Look, I don’t want to leave things like this. I just want one
thing and then I’ll happily leave.”

Izzie crossed
her arms and looked at him warily, “What is it?”

Kale sighed
again, “I’m willing to leave … I really am prepared to take the
role if you do one thing for me.”

Izzie sighed
deeply, “Ok, what?” She had a feeling she was going to regret
agreeing to whatever it was that Kale had in store for her.

Kale smiled but
it didn’t reach his eyes; which Izzie noted were lacking their
usual gleam of mischief, “Look, our argument; we both probably a
lot if things we regret. I know I did – apart from me telling you I
love you – which I still do by the way – but I want to leave
whatever it is between us on good terms. I will leave you alone
forever on one condition … if you tell me directly to my face –
here and now – that you do not love me.”

‘Oh boy,’
thought Izzie, ‘I’m so going to have to lie my butt off. I guess
it’s time to get my actress head on again.’ She looked directly
into his baby blue eyes and found herself feeling weak – no, she
had
to do this! She forced herself to keep her expression
neutral, “Ok Kale, I can accept that … and I will admit it … I
do
love you … but as a friend.”

Kale looked
crushed; she really did look sincere and he was just going to have
to man up and accept that. He made a half-hearted attempt to smile
but Izzie could see he was struggling to keep his cool.

“I really am
genuinely sorry Kale; I hope you can find it in your heart to
forgive me … someday.” Izzie was trying her best to sell it and it
looked like it was working; she had hoped he’d put up a bit of a
fight this time but she must have made it very convincing this time
since he just looked deflated.

“Ok,” Kale
finally said, “I’ll see you around Izzie … I’ve already forgiven
you.” He smiled sadly, turned around and made his way to his car
and then drove off.

“Isobel
Charlotte Frank, what the
hell
are you playing at?” Izzie
found herself facing her grandmother after she had closed the front
door and she looked livid.

“Gran, whatever
I’ve done, not now …” Izzie trailed off as the grief of losing Kale
finally hit her.

Her
grandmother’s face softened a little, “Oh Izzie, why did you do it?
I overheard the whole thing? The boy is infatuated with you and –
despite what you told him –
I know
you love him too … I just
don’t know
why
you didn’t tell him that?”

Izzie could
feel her façade slipping as a tear slid down her cheek, “Oh Gran, I
had
to tell him that.”

Izzie watched
her grandmother look confused, “Ok dear, let’s sit down and you can
you tell me all about it. Let me grab the coffee and biscuits and
then we’ll start at the beginning.”

Izzie nodded
and after a few hearty gulps of coffee and a few chocolate
biscuits; she felt ready to discuss the whole debacle. “Gran, I
couldn’t
tell him I loved him.”

“But why?” her
grandmother persisted.

“Where do I
begin? I’d just figured out that I loved him and then he tells me
about this really great role he’s been offered – too good to pass
up; it’s career-changing stuff! Anyway, he tells me that he won’t
take it if I admit I love him but I couldn’t do that to him; I
couldn’t live with myself if I was the one held responsible for
killing Kale Eddison’s career.”

Her grandmother
nodded encouragingly and Izzie continued on, “I just knew it was
the right thing to do – it was the selfless thing to do; even if it
is complete torture for me because I know it will have been worth
it in the end. There’s also the little issue of the fact that I’m a
nobody. I’m nothing and he is this super-hot famous movie star –
he’s Kale Eddison! I mean, sooner or later, despite what he thinks
now, he would realise this and not want me anymore. He’d break my
heart and I’ll be known as ‘that girl who Kale Eddison dated once’.
I’m afraid to take a chance because I can’t see how else this is
going to end – other than in heartache. I can’t completely trust
him to not believe that something better will come along – a film
role, another girl, whatever. It’s inevitable that it will happen –
it already has with this film role!”

Izzie sighed
but continued, “I
can’t
be selfish; I
can’t
make him
pass up a dream opportunity like that – his career is so important
to him, regardless of his protests. I watched him during the play
and he
adores
acting; I can’t picture him doing anything
else! That’s why
I
can’t be the reason that’s holding him
back; he’ll regret it and end up resenting me and I can’t bear
that.”

Izzie was
breathing heavily by the time she had finished and she saw her
grandmother shake her head, “Izzie, I can’t tell you what to feel
and what not to … nor can I tell you what to do or not … but I can
ask you to do this; ask yourself are you truly happy with your
decision? And if you think you are … will you still be happy on
down the line or will you keep thinking about what could’ve
been?”

Izzie stared at
her grandmother who merely smiled, “Just something to think about
Izzie.”

Kale was busy
packing up the last of his things before he left for America. The
movie was scheduled to start filming in three days and he couldn’t
get away from Ireland quick enough. Izzie had really hurt him; he
had thought she was lying in the coffee shop – he was so sure that
she would confess she loved him too but he had been too cocky.
Then, when he turned up at her house, he wanted her to tell him to
his face that she didn’t love him because he knew from her
expression in the coffee shop that she did love him. However, what
he wasn’t expecting was for her to admit she did love him as
nothing but a friend; he concluded that that he had been half right
about her expression in the coffee shop. He had been so adamant
that she loved him, he just failed to realise it was in a platonic
way. He felt so stupid for putting himself out there just to get
shot down; he was seriously regretting his decision to come here in
the first place but then he would never have met Izzie and that was
something he wanted to remember regardless of how she felt about
him – or rather didn’t feel about him.

Kale sighed, he
was due to leave tomorrow morning and part of him
was
excited about the movie; he decided to focus on it rather than
dwell on what could’ve been. He had just decided to get some lunch
when there was a knock on the door. He sighed heavily and made his
way downstairs since he had allowed all the staff to go home. He
opened the door to find Izzie’s grandmother standing and she looked
irate.

“Finally, there
you are! I’d like a word with you young man.”

Kale was
shocked and opened his mouth to say something but she interrupted
him.

“Well?”
Charlotte Frank looked at him pointedly, “aren’t you going to let
me inside? I’m sixty years old and I ain’t getting any younger and
it isn’t getting any warmer out here either!”

Kale snapped
out his stupor and let the door fall open wider, “Of course, come
in.”

Charlotte
stormed past him and he followed her through to the living room
where she plonked down on the couch waiting for him to sit down
next to her. He obeyed her silent request, sat down beside her and
waited patiently.

“Now,”
Charlotte began; a look of determination on her face, “I heard your
little speech to my granddaughter yesterday. I also heard her reply
and I wanted to let you know that everything she told you …
complete and utter crap!”

Kale looked
confused and decided to bite, “Ok, you have my attention. What do
you mean? I was there; she doesn’t love me – she was pretty adamant
about it too. I’ve decided that I give up; she doesn’t feel the
same. Believe me – now more than ever – I am convinced of it.”

Charlotte
scoffed, “Kale, for a man of such extraordinary talent; I’d like to
think
you
of all people would realise when someone is
acting!”

Kale shook his
head, “I
know
she wasn’t lying. She loves me as a friend and
as much as I wish that wasn’t true … I have to accept the fact that
Izzie doesn’t want me!”

Charlotte
yelled in frustration, “Kale, let me fill you in on how Izzie
operates; she always feels like she should do the right thing – no
matter if it causes her deep unhappiness.”

Kale frowned,
“What do you mean? Mrs Frank, does Izzie know you’re here?”

Charlotte
rolled her eyes, “It’s Charlotte and no; do you really think I’d be
daft enough to let my granddaughter know I’m meddling in her life?
Heavens, she’d never trust me again! She’s at school; oblivious to
all of this! That said; I feel if I don’t do something, I’ll regret
it.”

Kale was
curious now, “Ok Mrs – Charlotte – what is it that you feel you
have to do?”

Charlotte – for
the first time since she walked through the door – smiled warmly at
him, “Kale, my granddaughter is totally, head over heels in love
with you. She told me herself after you left yesterday.”

Kale tried not
to look hopeful, “What did she say to you?”

Charlotte
filled him in on all the conversation she and Izzie had had after
he had left and when she had finished, she told him, “So, don’t you
see that Izzie was doing what she thought was best for you. Let me
tell you Kale, if someone does something for someone else – even if
it hurts them immensely – because they believe it will be better
for that person … well it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that
they love you
more
than just a friend.”

Kale was quite
stunned but also quite mad, “Well, if that’s true then I should
respect her wishes.”

Charlotte
looked furious, “What? Kale, you are making a grave mistake if you
think that. Stop being so bloody noble and convince her that her
actions – though very considerate – are wrong and that you want her
to put herself first for once!”

Kale shook his
head, “She’s too stubborn; it’ll never work. I think it’d be best
if I left her alone. All I’ve done is screw up her life since I
came here; the nasty articles they printed in the paper, being
selfish and wanting to be with her all the time – not to mention
all those times I kissed her – no … I’m done. Now, if you don’t
mind, I’ve an early flight tomorrow and I need to finish
packing.”

Charlotte knew
that was her cue to leave but she couldn’t resist one last parting
shot; hopefully it would shock him into seeing some sense, “Kale
Eddison, for someone who is
so
in love with Izzie; you don’t
know her very well. If you did, you wouldn’t have to think twice
about what to do. However, it would seem to be, quite frankly, that
you don’t deserve her … and never will.”

With that,
Charlotte saw herself out and decided it would be best to let that
thought stew in Kale’s mind.

The next day,
before Izzie had come home from school, Charlotte had heard on the
news that Kale had left for America earlier that morning; she
couldn’t help but curse him for being so idiotic. However, when she
heard Izzie’s car door close, she decided to not mention it; Izzie
probably knew already.

When Izzie
walked into the living room, she acted quite cheery to her
grandmother, “Hey Gran, I don’t mean to be anti-social but I’ve a
ton of homework and I want to get started on it.” She smiled
brightly and continued on, “You don’t mind, do you?”

She watched her
grandmother shake her head, “No dear, you take all the time you
need.” She looked at her knowingly and then turned her attention
back to Dean Jameson film that was on the TV. Izzie made her way up
the stairs and was grateful when she reached the sanctuary of her
bedroom; at last she was alone to be her true self.

She had been
miserable, during the entire school day, when she heard that Kale
had left but she had tried her best to act like she didn’t care.
She had continued to do her schoolwork and ignored everybody – not
that anybody was concerned anyway. Now though, she was glad she
didn’t have to hitch a fake smile on her face and pretend
everything was ok. Izzie sighed and decided to take her mind off
her heartbreak; she found her iPod, put her headphones in, turned
it to shuffle and turned the volume up so that it was loud enough
to drown out her thoughts.

After about
twenty minutes, Izzie concluded that this had been a very bad idea;
every song that had played in the passing minutes, made her think
of Kale – whether they were relevant or not. She had endured Bon
Iver and St Vincent’s ‘Rosyln’, Percy Sledge’s ‘When a Man Loves a
Woman’, Lifehouse’s ‘From Where You Are’ and ‘Somewhere in Between’
and finally, the latest one – so aptly named ‘You Could be Happy’
by Snow Patrol. Izzie finally ripped out her headphones when she
heard the opening bars to Jamie O’Neal’s ‘All By Myself’; that song
definitely
wouldn’t make her feel any better!