... not in love with Kale Eddison (23 page)

Izzie rubbed
her face wearily; she was exhausted from her emotions varying every
two seconds. She decided to go to bed early and hoped that
everything would seem better in the morning; she doubted it but
there was always the possibility of hope. At least it was Saturday
tomorrow and with her due to work all day … well there was a good
chance that she would be too distracted to focus on Kale.

Kale, the whole
flight over to America, had been mulling over what Izzie’s
grandmother, Charlotte, had said to him before she walked out the
door. As much as he wanted to do what Charlotte had been trying to
convince him to do; he felt he couldn’t put himself out there
again. He sighed and tried to sleep but couldn’t; Izzie was
constantly on his mind. What was she doing right now? Was she
thinking about him? Was Charlotte telling the truth yesterday when
she said Izzie confessed she
did
love him as more than a
friend? He thought he’d slowly go insane if he dwelled on these
much longer.

Kale knew he
had made a big-ass mistake but it was too late now; Charlotte was
bound to have told Izzie about their little meeting and Izzie was
probably crushed that he hadn’t changed his mind or even bade her
goodbye. He felt like kicking himself while he agonised over
whether he had made the right decision or not. If he went back now,
there was still a chance that Izzie would hold his lack of
‘goodbye’ against him; he knew himself that that would be a strong
possibility – she was so damn stubborn after all. He sighed out
loud and figured he’d made his choice; it was too late to change
his mind and he’d just have to deal with the consequences of his
decision.

Izzie awoke on
Sunday morning and wondered how much longer it would be until the
ache in her chest disappeared forever. She sighed and decided that
she would just have to deal with it; many people coped everyday and
she was no different. She got up and went downstairs to get some
breakfast; baby steps, that was all it would take and she would get
through everyday and everything would eventually go back to normal.
If she just took one day at a time … everything would work out.

The rest of
Sunday passed with Izzie distracting herself with homework and
watching old movies with her grandmother. When it came to 9.30pm,
Izzie yawned and noticed her grandmother yawn too.

“I think I’m
going to get an early night Gran,” Izzie yawned again and her
grandmother nodded.

“That’s alright
dear, I think I will too. Old age catches up with you eventually.”
She chuckled and Izzie smiled.

“I’ll remember
that Gran.”

Izzie watched
her grandmother grin broadly and then eye Izzie with a peculiar
look on her face, “Izzie dear,” she said, “everything may seem
hopeless now but things will get better.”

Izzie smiled
sadly, “Doesn’t seem that way now Gran.”

Her grandmother
smiled, “I know but mark my words; everything that is meant to
happen will. If you’re destined for something, it won’t pass you
by; I’m a strong believer in fate and that everything will work
out. Plus, Hell roast him if he still can’t see how wonderful you
are!”

Izzie laughed,
“Thanks Gran, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Goodnight dear
and remember … tomorrow’s a new day; anything can happen.” Izzie
watched her grandmother smile and then she made her way up to bed;
she felt better about tomorrow already.

The next
morning, Izzie woke up feeling a little less sad about the whole
Kale thing and practically bounced downstairs to get some breakfast
before she left for school. She flicked the kettle on and set out
two coffee mugs; her grandmother could always smell the coffee
before Izzie had even poured it out. Izzie hummed to herself and
wondered why her grandmother hadn’t appeared by now. She assumed
she was probably still beat from last night and decided to bring
the coffee to her. Izzie made her way to her grandmother’s room and
knocked lightly on the door before she entered the room. She found
her grandmother still sleeping so she crept over to the bedside
locker and decided to leave the coffee there for her when she woke
up. However, as Izzie approached the bed, she knew something was
very wrong; her grandmother wasn’t breathing.

It took Izzie a
few seconds to find her voice, when she did, all she could manage
to scream was, “DAD!”

Chapter
Seventeen

Izzie had come
to a conclusion; if there really was a God, then he must enjoy
messing up people’s lives. Why else would He throw so much bad luck
and misery her way? As if it wasn’t hard enough for her to have to
deal with Kale’s departure to the other side of the world – no, God
had to throw some more heartache into the mix! Izzie just wondered
why He had picked on her grandmother. She had woken up this morning
with hope and the day had ended in disaster.

She knew, deep
in her heart, before her father had called for the ambulance; it
was too late. She didn’t need the paramedic to shake his head
gravely and tell her and her parents that her grandmother had
“passed on”. Izzie had left the bedroom and went to sit out in the
back garden on one of the hard plastic chairs and hadn’t left that
spot since. She had her head in hands and was desperately trying to
make sense of everything. Her parents had been in the living room
all day making funeral arrangements but Izzie had kept out of the
way; she didn’t want to think about that … there would be time for
that later.

Izzie sighed
and stared up at the (now darkened) sky. She could see all the
stars tonight and that made her smile a little; she remembered the
stories she had been told when she was younger. Her grandmother had
told her that she’d be a star someday and that Izzie should know
that was her way of keeping an eye out for her; even after she was
gone. Izzie was comforted by that thought and now felt strong
enough to go inside and go to bed; after all, her grandmother had
told her “Tomorrow’s a new day; anything can happen …”

The days
leading up to the funeral passed in a blur. Izzie avoided contact
with everyone; she knew she should really be with her family but
she wanted to be alone. If she was really honest with herself; it
wasn’t that she didn’t want to see her family … it was more the
case of wanting a certain someone to appear. Izzie knew it was
foolish to think of Kale at a time like this but it was his company
that she craved; she just knew that he would make her feel
better.

She sighed and
sat on her bed looking at the suit she would have to wear the next
day; it was so sombre looking and she knew – if her grandmother had
been here – that she would have made some joke about it and Izzie
would have laughed. She didn’t feel like laughing or really doing
anything; she just wished she could talk to Kale – she didn’t know
if that would make her feel worse (it probably would) but she
figured she couldn’t feel anymore miserable than she was feeling
right now.

Her decision
made, Izzie grabbed her phone and scrolled through until she found
Kale’s number. It rang for a few seconds and then clicked to
voicemail. Izzie concluded that this was better than nothing.

“Kale,” she
managed to get out, “Grandma died …” It was all Izzie could cope
with trying to say so she hung up and went straight to bed;
dreading tomorrow and all that would come to pass.

It was a mere
hour until her grandmother’s funeral and Izzie wasn’t sure if she
was ready to say her final goodbye. She had paced her room all
morning and tried to keep it together; it wasn’t easy and she found
herself straying to check her phone on more than one occasion but
Kale never called. Izzie had expected a text message at least but
then she assumed he was probably busy filming and hadn’t checked
his phone. She just felt so alone and really doubted whether she
could get through today or not.

Much too soon,
Izzie heard her mother call softly up the stairs that it was time
to go. Izzie sucked in a deep breath and made her way downstairs;
this was it. She had just made it out the front door when a car
abruptly pulled up, a figure got out and the next thing Izzie knew
was she was being enveloped into a hug which was when she broke
down in tears; the first tears since her grandmother had
passed.

Izzie surprised
herself with being able to cope throughout the funeral; she had
cried when they played her grandmother’s favourite song – Dixie
Chicks’ ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’ – but she also laughed when
the minister joked about her grandmother’s fondness of Dean
Jameson. She was proud of herself and knew her grandmother would be
proud of her too; especially since Kale had sat holding her hand
the whole time. It had been a bit of a shock when Izzie realised
who the figure had been but she had been very pleased that Kale had
taken the time to fly back and see her.

Now, they were
sitting in the corner of the hall where tea and sandwiches were
being served. Everybody was chatting and sharing stories about
‘good old’ Charlotte Frank; it made Izzie smile to see how much
everyone loved her grandmother as much as she did. She looked at
Kale and he smiled at her.

“I still can’t
believe you came the whole way back here Kale, you didn’t have to …
especially the way we left things.”

Kale’s
expression softened, “Hey, I wouldn’t be anywhere else. Besides,
your grandmother was the feistiest person I’ve met – apart from you
of course – and I liked her … I
wanted
to pay my
respects.”

Izzie smiled,
“I appreciate that. When do you have leave again?” She tried not to
look too hopeful but a part of her also thought it would be best if
it was sooner rather than later; she’d have to get used to life
without him again.

Kale glanced at
her and then stood up, “Come take a walk with me; I have a few
things to tell you.”

Izzie followed
him out of the entrance door and they walked hand-in-hand until
they found a little wooden bench just outside the grounds of the
church hall. They sat down and Kale turned to face her.

“Izzie, I have
something to tell you; your grandmother showed up at my house the
day before I left.”

“Oh.” Izzie was
surprised but she let him continue on.

Kale nodded,
“She yelled at me and then she told me about the conversation you
both had after I had left.”

Izzie flushed
with embarrassment, “Oh, she never said … but look, Kale, it
doesn’t change anything; I still want you to do the film.”

Kale nodded
again, “I understand that but … I probably don’t have a film to go
back to; when I got your message, I told the director I had to
leave and then I walked out. They are probably lining up somebody
else to take my place as we speak.”

Izzie looked
horrified, “How could you do that Kale? That role was everything to
you!”

Kale shrugged,
“You needed me more than some director did. Besides, I’ll admit it;
I wanted to see you again.”

Izzie smiled,
“That’s sweet Kale but a big sacrifice; I’m not worth it.”

Kale chuckled
and Izzie looked at him curiously, “I’m not laughing at you Izzie,”
he explained to her, “I’m laughing because I just remembered what
your grandmother told me before she left my house. She told me if I
had to think twice about you then I didn’t deserve you and never
will.”

Izzie bit back
a laugh, “Oh Gran … that is so like something you would say.”

Kale smiled; it
was good to see Izzie smile again, “It was good advice and it just
proves that you definitely
are
worth it … I really don’t
deserve you at all.”

Izzie shook her
head, “Kale, you still shouldn’t have walked off the set; I don’t
want to be the reason why you missed a fantastic opportunity.”

Kale held his
hand up to stop her, “Don’t, Izzie … just don’t. I
love
you;
that pretty much comes above some film role. I had to be there for
you, even if you do still love me just as a friend; friends be
there for each other.”

Izzie shook her
head, “Kale … you
know
I love you … and not just as a
friend. I think I’ve been in love with you for a while now …
probably since the day you sat beside me in Drama class just to
annoy me … it just took me long enough to figure it out. Then that
day you asked me to meet you at the coffee shop … that was the day
I finally realised that I love you. I was going to tell you and
then you text me and I was like ‘this is a perfect opportunity’ but
then you dropped the bombshell and I realised I had to let you go
or you’d regret it and hate me for it. I thought it was best to
convince you that I was anything
but
in love with you.”

Kale shook his
head in disbelief, “Izzie … how can you think that I’d hate you? To
be honest, I was still mad at you when your grandmother told me all
that and I was too proud to go after you again … that’s why I left
but I’ve regretted it ever since.”

Izzie sighed,
“So where does this leave us then?”

Kale shrugged,
“Dunno, maybe I’ll stay here or …” he trailed off as his phone
starting ringing. Annoyed, he took it out of his pocket and was
about to switch it off when he noticed the caller display and was
very surprised.

“Jeez,” he said
aloud, “Izzie, it’s Sam!”

Izzie thumped
him on the arm when he didn’t answer it right away, “Kale, answer
it. I’ll never speak to you again if you don’t!” She eyed him
sternly.

“Ok, ok,” Kale
agreed and hit ‘answer’.

“Hey Sam,
what’s up? This is a surprise! Oh, ok … yeah I understand. Oh
really … you sure? I really don’t know … can I get back to you?
Huh? Yeah it was important … I really am sorry about the way I
acted though. Uh-huh, yeah … great … ok, thanks … ok, you too …
bye.”