Not Meant To Be Broken (15 page)

“I see the guest of honor has arrived,” Zach said from the doorway to the corridor, a smirk on his face. I could hear Pumpkin mewing in protest. I’d locked him in my room, so he wouldn’t bother Lauren. Brian had mentioned that she wasn’t an animal person.

“Zachary,” Lauren said with contempt. “Shouldn’t you be studying for M&A? You don’t want to fail, do you?”

Zach’s lips curled. “Don’t worry. I won’t.” He strode toward me and wrapped an arm around my waist. Lauren turned to Brian and gave him a look I couldn’t quite read.

“I made dinner,” I said, trying to dissolve the tension. “Fish curry and Indian starters.”

“I don’t have time to cook, but it’s nice that you do.”

I wasn’t sure if she meant it as an insult or if she was just being insensitive. Zach’s hand on my hip tightened.

“Then let’s eat,” Brian said. We walked into the kitchen and took our seats around the table. I was still wondering which topic to choose when Lauren began talking about law school. She seemed really enthusiastic, but the more she talked the more Zach’s face darkened.

“I’m working my ass off every day. Not all of us are as lucky as Zach to have a multi-billion dollar business waiting for us to manage. He doesn’t have to get good grades.”

“Not everyone has the same ambitions,” I said diplomatically.

“Some of us don’t have any at all.”

Zach narrowed his eyes. “Better than having too much ambition. You’d do anything to get ahead.”

Two red blotches appeared high on Lauren’s cheeks and her lips thinned. She put her fork down. She’d hardly eaten any of the fish curry. “This was very tasty, Amber. Thank you.” She turned to Brian. “I’m tired. Let’s go to your room.”

Brian glanced at me. “Lauren is going to spend the night.”

“You don’t need to ask my permission,” I said with an embarrassed laugh.

Lauren nodded. “See, that’s what I’ve been telling you for
weeks
.”

Brian and Lauren got up and left the kitchen. I was actually glad and released a breath. Zach was still glaring at her chair.

“What did you mean when you said she’d do anything to get ahead?” I asked quietly.

Zach grimaced. “You don’t want to know.”

“Now I really want to know.”

Zach lowered his fork and leaned back in his chair. “Before Lauren and Brian started dating, I knew her. We shared several classes and she knew about my father and the business. She started coming onto me really hard. I quickly figured out it was to score an internship or maybe even a job.”

“So you blew her off? Is that why she dislikes you so much?”

Zach avoided my eyes.

“You slept with her,” I whispered.

Zach didn’t deny it. “It was a long time ago and I’m not exactly proud of it.”

“Does Brian know?”

“No. And I don’t want him to. It was before they started dating anyway.”

“I won’t tell him,” I said. “But why don’t you tell him? Maybe he’d break up with her. That’s what you want, right?”

“Yeah, but it would hurt Brian. He needs to figure out just how much of a bitch Lauren is by himself.”

“How many girls have you been with?” I asked as I started clearing the table. Zach got up to help me. “Many.”

“More than you can count?”

“No, but more than I’m willing to admit to you.”

I snorted. “That’s an answer in itself, you know?”

“I know,” he said quietly, pulling me into his arms. I was still amazed that I didn’t dissolve into a puddle of panic whenever he did that. I lifted my head and brushed my lips with his. “Past is past,” I murmured. Nobody wanted that more than I.

When we were done with the dishes, Zach and I headed for the living room, then I hesitated. Zach turned. “Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know if that’s what you want, but I’d really like to sleep in your bed tonight.” The moment the words left my mouth, I was stunned.

Zach froze.

“I mean,” I rambled. “I feel safe with you close. But if you don’t like to share your bed…”

“No. I want you in my bed.” For a moment, we stared at each other.

“Just sleep,” I said.

Zach smiled. “Just sleep.”

“Go ahead, I’ll change and then I’ll join you.” I flushed but Zach kissed my lips and headed for his room.

As I stood in my bedroom, I suddenly wasn’t so sure anymore if it was a clever idea. Sleeping in the same bed with someone was a big deal, but it wasn’t as if it would be the first time. Zach and I had spent two nights in the same bed already, albeit under different circumstances. Instead of a nightgown, I chose my satin pajamas. I didn’t want to flash my panties at Zach again, even though he hadn’t minded.

On my way to Zach’s room I passed Brian’s door and froze when I heard a moan behind it. I quickly moved on, not wanting to hear any more. I really didn’t need an image of Brian and Lauren in my head. Zach had left his room open and I cautiously stepped in. He was kneeling in front of his flatscreen TV attached to the wall across from his bed. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled. “I thought we could watch one or two episodes of Game of Thrones before sleep?”

“Sure.” I closed the door, feeling self-conscious. Had Zach heard Lauren’s moan? He must be disappointed. While Brian and Lauren slept with each other, Zach could only look forward to a night sleeping beside me. He straightened and for the first time I noticed that he was wearing a shirt over his boxer shorts. He’d always slept bare-chested in the time that I’d known him. For me. He didn’t want to intimidate me.

Before I could lose my nerve, I slipped under the covers and Zach joined me a moment later. He turned on the TV and I leaned against his chest, linking my fingers with his. How could something as simple as this feel so right? Zach extinguished the light, so that the glow of the screen was the only illumination. As we watched the first episode, I felt myself relax more and more. Zach’s warmth and his scent enveloped me in a cocoon of safety. But there was more. The feeling of his muscled chest against my cheek, the feeling of his abs against my arm, made me want to touch him, to slip a hand under his shirt and find out how soft his skin was.

I didn’t even pay attention to the second episode anymore. I untangled my fingers from Zach’s and ran my hand over his chest until it came to rest on his firm stomach. He tensed under my touch and held his breath. Biting my lip, I inched my hand to the edge of his shirt. Zach might have been carved from stone he’d become so still. I hesitated, then gathered my courage.
Take control, Amber.
I eased my hand under Zach’s shirt and rested my palm on his abs. He sucked in his breath. His skin was hot against mine, and his muscles quivered against my hand. I peered up I into his face. His eyes were focused on me, the TV forgotten. “Is this okay?” I whispered.

Zach laughed hoarsely. “Yeah. More than okay.” He repeated the words I’d said after our first real kiss. “I can’t tell you how much I want to kiss you right now.”

“Then do it.”

He brought his face down and I propped myself up on his chest as our lips met. We kissed slowly, and I could feel a sweet pressure building between my legs. I shifted, half embarrassed and half-excited, and completely glad that Zach didn’t know what kind of an effect a simple kiss had on me. Eventually I pulled back. Zach kissed my forehead, his grip around me tightening for an instant before he sat up. “I just need to go to the bathroom real quick.” I nodded, suddenly tired. Who knew kissing could make you sleepy?

With a half smile, I watched Zach creep out of the room, probably worried about disturbing Brian. I let my head fall down on the pillow and closed my eyes. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed before the mattress sank under Zach’s weight and he snuggled up to me from behind, one of his arms slung over my waist. “Is this okay?” His voice was a deep rumble against my ear. “Hm,” was all I got out in response before sleep claimed me.

The next morning, I woke with my head on Zach’s chest, his arms still wrapped around my body. I could get used to that.

Zach

In the next few weeks, Amber and I found a routine. We always watched a bit of TV, then we kissed until I had to pretend I had to go to the bathroom to take a leak while really I needed to jerk off because I was close to bursting, and then after I’d come in my own fucking hands, I would return to Amber and hold her in my arms until we fell asleep. I loved hearing her rhythmic breathing beside me and how her face lit up with a smile every morning when she saw me. But fuck, having Amber’s body pressed against mine was torture. Even jerking off didn’t stop my balls from feeling like they were under constant pressure. Sometimes I caught myself wondering if it wouldn’t even be better for our relationship if I picked up a random girl to fuck to release some of the tension. Amber would never have to find out and I could keep being patient for her. But as soon as I thought it I felt like the biggest asshole in the world. I couldn’t do that to Amber. I’d be no better than my father if I did. But it was getting increasingly difficult to hide my boner from Amber every morning. One day I’d actually come in my fucking pants with her lying beside me.

“You look as if you’re tasting something foul,” Kevin said as he slid into the chair across from mine. We sometimes met for coffee between classes. I could only imagine what he’d say to my thoughts of cheating on Amber.

“Is this all because you’re not getting any?” He asked as he settled back with his pumpkin spice latte. I wasn’t sure how he could drink the sweet stuff.

I made a noncommittal sound.

“Stop acting like a pussy.”

“Says the man who drinks skinny milk like an anorexic girl.”

“That’s not very PC of you.”

I rolled my eyes. “Once I’m joining my father in the company, political correctness is all people will ever get from me on the outside. Might as well enjoy my numbered days of foul-mouthedness as long as they last and before I become a backstabbing corporate lawyer and manager.”

“Then don’t join the company and do what you want.”

“That would go over well with my father.”

“So what?”

“I like my life. I like not having to worry about money. If I became a human rights lawyer my father would disown me.”

“Zach, you told me yourself that you’ve invested a lot of the money your grandfather gave you when he was alive and that it’s going well. You could live on that money easily.”

I probably could. But I’d been living by the rules of my father all my life. Money had never been an issue because of that. And my father would probably make my mother even more miserable to punish me, though I wasn’t sure how that was even possible. Maybe he’d divorce her out of spite. She’d actually despair if the asshole left her. Love always meant trouble. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Then let’s talk about you and Amber.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to talk to him about that either. “Have you tried talking to her?”

“I can hardly tell her that I’m an asshole who spends every waking moment fantasizing about getting her naked.”

“Maybe she’ll surprise you.”

Or maybe she’d run away screaming. I couldn’t risk that. Sometimes I wondered if I was on the verge of breaking my rule about never loving a woman.

***

Amber was lying on my arm, her firm butt pressed against my erection. The friction was almost enough to lose my cum right there. I tried to remove my arm from under her head but it didn’t work. She made a small sound and shifted her butt. I groaned. I wanted nothing more than to slide up her nightgown and move aside her panties and bury myself in her. She felt so hot against my cock. I could only imagine how much hotter her core would feel. I closed my eyes and nuzzled her neck, drawing in deep calming breath. Her hair smelled like the vanilla shampoo she always used. I started to relax when Amber started to wake. The way I was spooning her, there was no way I could hide my erection, especially if I didn’t shove her off me.

Amber

Sunrays tickled my face. I blinked away the sleepiness. Zach’s chest was pressed against my back, one of his long legs between mine. I was wrapped in his arms. As I shifted I noticed an insistent pressure against my butt and my eyes opened wide. I waited for the panic to set in, but it never came. Instead there was only curiosity and embarrassment. I tried to wriggle away to spare Zach the mortification once he woke, but when he groaned I realized it was too late. I gasped, couldn’t help it. Zach stiffened and quickly rolled away, leaving me cold. “Fuck,” he mumbled. The mattress shifted as he sat up. “Sorry.” He sounded angry. “I didn’t want you to wake like that.”

Did he think he had scared me? I turned around, grasping his arm to stop him from getting out of bed. His expression was pained. “Don’t go.”

“I really need to deal with this,” he said, gesturing at his lower regions.

Heat surged into my face. How often had he been taking care of things himself in the last few weeks? He swung his legs out of bed and stood. My eyes were drawn to the bulge in his pants. A mix of anxiety and curiosity filled me. It was stupid to be anxious at all. I had no reason to be afraid of Zach, much less of what was in his pants. Zach would never hurt me. I was in control of my fear, my wants, my life. That had become my mantra. I had to claim my life back. “I’ll be back soon,” Zach promised before he left the room.