Authors: Patrick Abbruzzi
“My tours in the subway system were borin
g
to say the least, Charlie. We all wanted to hit the streets and ride in the RMP’s because subway duty was an endless round of rowdy drunks, panhandlers, the homeless and sexual deviants. In those days there weren’t many tourist
s
to give directions to, especially between the hours of 8:00 P.M. and 4:00 A.M
.
an
d
especially in the 1
st
precinct, which became a graveyard between those hours. Sometimes I would come across a drunk or wino on the platform and hold hi
m
until the next train pulled in. When it did and the doors opened, I would shove him inside. The drunk then became th
e
responsibility of the Transit Authority cop assigned to the train.
“Those T.A. cops weren’t slackers, either. For every wino I placed on thei
r
train, they would throw two off onto my platform. It was a fucking gam
e
of musical winos,” laughed the lieutenant.
**
The lieutenant and Charlie decided to grab a hamburger at the Clipper o
n
Bay Street near the overhang. The night short order cook was a goo
d
guy who liked cops so they and their fellow officers stopped there at all hours of the night jus
t
to check up on him. Gene was his name and he even was invited to joi
n
the police bowling league, which he did and really enjoyed himself. A few years later he opened up his own little coffee shop o
n
Stuyvesant Place and called it Gene’s Luncheonette. He opened up at 3:00 A.M. and guys on the late tours stopped in to get coffee and visi
t
while he pre-cooked all his hashed brown potatoes and bacon for th
e
morning rush.
Charlie and his boss took their burgers and decided to park in the gas station at Bay Street and Vanderbilt Avenue. It was close t
o
the busier areas and would make for a quicker response time if they wer
e
needed in a hurry. The lieutenant wolfed down his burger and coffee and began speaking abou
t
his days in the 1
st
precinct again.
“The worst detail for me in the subways was checking out th
e
bathrooms. I didn’t want to do it but they were part of the post and ha
d
to be checked several times a night.
“I’ll never forget the first time I entered one of the toilets because I had to actually use the facilities. The first thing tha
t
hit me square in the face as well as my nostrils was the extreme heat of the air mingled with the stringent odor of urine and feces. Most of the bowls were not even operable; some did not flus
h
and some did not even have water in them. The standing urinals, which were stained and grimy, worked but the flow of water was so weak and slow tha
t
they did not even wash the urine down the drain. There was feces in som
e
of the bowls that had never been flushed and in some places it was caked on lik
e
dry cow dung forgotten on the prairie.
“None of this stopped the winos and deviants from using these restrooms. Even worse were the condoms stil
l
filled with ejaculated fluids left behind by the perverts who wandered throug
h
the subway system.If aids had been a household word back then I would have quit on the spot. Those deviants and sexual predators were calle
d
‘chicken hawks’ because they preyed on young boys and men and often times force
d
themselves upon unwilling victims. I didn’t have to travel to 42
nd
Stree
t
to find any midnight cowboys; they were right there in the confines of the 1
st
precinct,” Lt. A. said.
Having finished their burgers, both men lit up cigarettes and just relaxed in quiet for a fe
w
minutes. Charlie wondered if his lieutenant was finished with his wa
r
stories for the night, but after a slight pause, Lt. A. began speakin
g
again.
“I’ll never forget my very first aided case that I handled by myself. I had just finished eating and was walking my post on the platform of the BMT line at Recto
r
Street. In the weeks that I had been assigne
d
to the 1
st
I had found a little Greek coffee shop above ground right a
t
Rector Street and Broadway. I made friends with the night crew ther
e
because I spent my meal hour bullshitting with them. They liked m
y
company as well as the extra coverage I provided, so naturally I didn’t have t
o
pay for my egg sandwiches and coffee that were the best I had ever tasted.
“I decided to check the bathroom at the northern end of the station jus
t
to get it over with and as I approached the toilet I heard faint moans coming from inside the facility. I thought I was going to catch tw
o
queers doing their thing with the one-eyed worm but when I opened th
e
door I saw a body sprawled on the urine soaked floor roughly half way inside one of cubicles that had no door.
“Before I could eve
n
get to the guy, he stopped moaning and with a final gasp for air, he seemed to sto
p
breathing completely. His pants and underpants had been pulled dow
n
below his knees. His scrotum and groin area were smeared with blood, as wel
l
as his face and mouth. Several of his teeth had been completely knocke
d
out of his mouth and were lying next to him in a separate puddle o
f
yellow piss mixed with blood. I also noticed blood underneath him bu
t
didn’t know where it was coming from. I turned him over and saw righ
t
away that its source was directly out of his ass. There was an empty
,
cardboard toilet paper roll core extending from his bleeding anus.
“I ran out of the room and went over to the token booth where the cler
k
was stationed. I had to rap on the window with my nightstick because h
e
had fallen asleep, which was not unusual for many of those underpai
d
clerks. I told him to call an ambulance for what I had found then ran back to the toilet. Thankfully, the victim had begun to breathe on his own but was still unconscious.
“I tried to revive him by talking to him. When that didn’t work
I
grabbed some used paper towels and soaked them with water from th
e
standing urinals. At least the water was cold. I applied the wet towel t
o
his mouth in an attempt to stop the bleeding from his jaws. I tried t
o
stay calm and remember what I had been taught at the academy. I knew I had an aided case but I also knew that this guy didn’t slip on a fucking bar of soap. I had a crime victim and a crime scene. He had been assaulted and was likely to die, so I knew I had to preserve th
e
scene at all costs.
“Charlie, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you I was scared shitless. All I knew was that it was my totally awesome, fucking responsibility not only to tend to this bloodied mes
s
of a victim, but also somehow guard this scene by myself. I knew I had t
o
keep the restroom free of outside contamination from anyone who might com
e
strolling in, especially the nosy, busybody news hounds.
“I remembered that I also had to make the required notifications to th
e
patrol sergeant who would probably arrive first, then I would have to notify the precinc
t
detective unit. I suddenly remembered I hadn’t directed the clerk to call the precinct so I ran all the way back to tell him to do so. When I got there and saw the clerk, he explained to me that, thankfully, he had already called the precinct for me. He said he was told to tell me not to let anyone enter the bathroom until the sergeant arrived, which I already knew.
“I realized that the clerk was probably an old timer and had seen his share of life in the sewer. I ran all the way back to the toilet. Luckily, no one else was there. As for the victim, he was still out cold but stil
l
breathing. The blood around him had started to congeal and it looked as if he had stopped bleeding. Soon I heard the sound of footsteps and when I looked up I saw one of the 1
st
precinct sergeants approaching with hi
s
driver. The sergeant was an old timer and, according to scuttlebutt
,
was a real prince of a boss. His name was Sgt. Burdick. He spoke to m
e
first,” Lt. A. said as his eyes glazed with the memory.
“Charlie I was so nervous. I didn’t want to come across like a rookie
,
which of course I was, but rather like a veteran, a hair bag.”
“Whattayou got, kid?
”
Sgt. Burdick said nonchalantly.
“I think
I
have an assault, Sergeant,” I tried to say as calmly as possible.
Burdick’s driver spoke up, laughing, “You think you have an assault, kid? This
ain’tno fucking dentist office. This is a fucking shit hole! For Christ’s sake, the guy’s teeth ar
e
scattered all over God’s creation and you think you have an assault? Maybe the fucking tooth fairy visited him while he was taking a dump, right?” The driver stared at me, his voice mocking.
“Leave the kid alone,” interjected the Sergeant.
“It seems the Sergeant was a prince after all, Charlie. He told me to make out th
e
aided card as well as the complaint report, which I later found out is referred to as the ‘61.’ He told me to refer it to the 1
st
precinc
t
detective unit under the heading of Investigate Aided, then he instructed me to list the victim as a John Doe so the news media would not get hi
s
name later on at the station house,” said the lieutenant. “When I asked him why we had to list the victim this way, he gave me an earful of an answer.”
“Kid, did you notice the toilet paper core stuck up his ass?
”
asked the Sergeant.
“Yeah,
Sarge. Why?”
“If his attacker really wanted to hurt him he would have shoved a broomstick up his ass instead. This was a sex act gone wrong that turned ugl
y
and violent. I’ll lay two to one odds that when they get him to Beekma
n
Downtown Hospital, they’ll find the remains of a hamster or gerbil i
n
the guy’s rectum, or some kind of proof that one of those little creatures had bee
n
there paying a visit very recently. It’s the latest fad for these fucking queers an
d
one of the newest ways they get each other off,” explained the Sergeant.
“Charlie, this guy was a great boss. He explained to me that he was goin
g
into the station house and said he would let the desk lieutenant know what I had and say I would be coming in with my paperwork. He also explained that he would direct the 124 man to make all th
e
required notifications for me as well. I thanked him and off he went,” said Lt. A.
“The ambulance arrived and I assisted the attendants with getting the victim onto the gurney and into the awaiting vehicle, then it roared away with its red lights flashing and siren blaring. I walked over to the coffee shop and got two regulars to go then made my way back down to the platform and offered the clerk one of the coffees. He was grateful and invited me into the booth to sit and relax for a while. After some friendly chitchat, I finished my paperwork.
“Around 3:30 A.M. I decided to take a slo
w
walk back to the precinct. The night air was cool and refreshing. It was quite a change from the stale metallic atmosphere of the subway system, especially since I still had the aroma of blood and urine still entrenched dee
p
within my nostrils. I stopped and inhaled deeply as I tried to cleanse m
y
nose and lungs of the putrid smell that was becoming part of my ver
y
being. As I did so, I looked up at the twinkling stars and felt good, Charlie. I ha
d
effectively handled and preserved a crime scene, my first, and communicated with my patrol sergeant, who found no fault with my polic
e
work. Better than that, though, I had helped a fellow human being. I was on top of the world in this, our chosen profession.”