Read November Sky (Hardest Mistakes Book 2) Online
Authors: Dannielle Wicks
We emerge from the dense trees and I stop to stare as everyone moves past me. The waterfall is even more beautiful than I remember. The clear water sparkles in the sunlight as it tumbles down the rocks and splashes into the pool below. There are wildflowers growing in patches around the entire clearing, butterflies in all sorts of incredible colors hovering above them.
A small group of us heads up the path to get to the top of the falls so we can have a look at the view.
The trees thin out and the rocks beneath our feet turn into slippery pebbles. Kristian takes a hold of my hand and keeps me steady as we exit the trees and reach the edge of the waterfall. I can see everyone down below us, spreading out, talking and laughing.
I let go of Kristian’s hand and take a small step closer to peek over the edge.
“Careful, Jess,” Kristian warns from right behind me. The cascading water looks fast as it speeds over the edge and crashes down into the pool. It’s not a huge drop, but it’s big enough to do some damage. I turn slowly to walk back to Kristian.
One minute I’m gazing at his face, the next I’m falling.
My fingers scramble to hold on to the slippery rocks on the side of the waterfall. Kristian’s face appears above me, his expression fierce but afraid.
This is the last thing I remember and it is so clear, as if I saw it all in slow motion, every single excruciating detail. Kristian’s dark, glittering eyes open wide in horror. His mouth opens, screaming my name as he reaches for my hand.
I remember the exact moment my fingers give, ripping my fingernails to shreds as they scrape the rocks, my bracelet from Kristian slipping off my wrist as I fall.
***
The memories come in flashes. They are what I will remember forever.
KRISTIAN
I look down, eyes unfocused, at the shiny piece of metal clenched in my fist—Jess’s bracelet. All sound in the world is gone, leaving only my heartbeat thumping in my ears. I take a deep breath and gaze up at the face in front of me.
“Kristian! Can you hear me?” Jake grabs my arm and pulls me to my feet. “We have to get down there now. Jess fell.”
Jess. Oh god, her face as she slipped. I didn’t catch her. I need to see if she’s okay. I push past Jake and sprint down the dirt path that leads to the bottom of the waterfall. Everyone is frozen in place, staring at the pool. Shiny blonde hair pokes up from the edge of the glittering water.
Jess.
As I get closer I realize she’s not moving. Why hasn’t anyone pulled her from the water yet? They’re just standing around her, staring. I push past them and scramble over to her, sliding into the pool. Wiping the wet hair off her face, I lift her gently into my arms and carry her up out of the water.
As I lay her down on the grass, her head lolls back and my hand comes away red. The back of her head is bleeding. I inhale sharply.
“Jess?” I say softly, kneeling beside her and pulling her onto my lap. “Jess? Wake up.” I brush my fingers down her cheek and realize my hands are shaking.
Her blue eyes are half-open and glazed over. I lightly brush my hand down her arm. Her skin is cold and white. She’s not breathing. My eyes become blurry and unfocused. I glance around at the people surrounding us, they are supposed to be her friends, why are they just standing there?
“Call an ambulance!” I scream at them. A few of them rush to pull their phones from their bags or pockets. I drop my gaze back down to Jess. My arms tighten around her, holding her closer. She’s so cold.
***
I stare down at the shiny silver bracelet in my hand. A breeze blows past me, making it swing as it hangs from my fingers. Someone’s hand is on my back, rubbing in soothing circles. Someone else is crying hysterically.
I feel so lost.
Tears dribble down my nose and fall unceremoniously to the grass beneath my feet. I twist the bracelet around my fingers and then clutch it tightly in my fist. I couldn’t protect her, I couldn’t save her. This is all my fault and now this is all I have left of her. My Jessica.
I don’t realize that everything’s gone quiet until a pair of black heels appear in my vision. I look up, but I’m unable to meet the eyes of Jessica’s mother, Mrs. Scott. Her face is red and bloated and tears stain her cheeks. She gives me a small smile and wraps her arms around me. I can’t stop the sobs from coming, they bubble up my throat hard and heavy. The fact that she’s trying to comfort me is making me feel worse. I break down in her arms. How can she be so compassionate, I killed her daughter, her only child.
Mr. Scott comes up behind his wife and rests his hand on her shoulder. He looks just as bad as his wife, face red and bloated, tears shining in his eyes. The guilt swells inside of me until I can’t take it anymore. I have to walk away. My mother races along behind me, unlocking the car and jumping into the driver’s seat.
***
Jessica’s headstone is grey. There’s an inscription:
JESSICA HALEY SCOTT
Remembered always with love
Tragically taken from us
on November 27, 2007 aged eighteen
HER LIFE A BEAUTIFUL MEMORY
HER ABSENCE A SILENT GRIEF
The last part always gets me. Every time I have visited her over the last few months, it’s always the ending that makes me choke up. I kneel down in front of her and place the fresh flowers in the vase, adding to the ones her parents have already placed in front of the stone. Leaning back, I wipe at my eyes. Jess’s absence has left a gaping hole of emptiness inside of me. It’s an abyss I don’t know if I can come back from.
***
SIX YEARS LATER
When I look down at the sleeping girl beside me all I see is Jessica. I loved her like there was no tomorrow, and then suddenly there wasn’t. I’m never getting over her. I can’t and I don’t know if I want to.
Sliding out of bed, I snatch my pants off the floor and tug them on. It’s all the same repetitive routine. Go to my classes at the university, go out to a club or bar, go home with a random girl, sneak out before they wake up the next morning. Repeat.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. Picking my shirt up off the floor and pulling it on, I flip my phone open to read the message.
Jake: Dude, where are you?
Jake just can’t seem to leave me alone. We rent a flat together close to campus, and ever since school he’s followed me everywhere. It’s like he thinks I’m going to explode or something. I’m pretty sure it’s my mom’s fault, she probably asked him to keep an eye on me or something. He won’t be following me after university, thank god.
I trudge down the stairs and exit through the back door of the apartment building, heading for my car.
Jake is waiting for me when I arrive home.
“It’s like 5 a.m.” His voice carries across the quiet parking lot beside our building.
“I know what time it is,” I respond flatly as I lock my car and walk up the steps to the front door.
“Where have you been? We have final exams in like four hours. Don’t you want to graduate?” Jake steps aside to let me pass and then follows me up the stairs to our flat.
“Don’t worry about me. I’ve got this all under control.”
As soon as we’re inside I hurry to my bedroom and close the door behind me before he can follow me in and say something else or lecture me. It’s like he’s become my personal nanny.
I throw myself on top of the covers on my bed and tilt my head back to stare up at the dark ceiling. Is this how the rest of my life is going to be? I don’t feel alive; I don’t deserve to feel alive. Rolling over, I open the top drawer of my nightstand and dig out Jessica’s shiny silver bracelet. The gems sparkle in the dim sunrise glow coming through my window. Would we still be together if she were still alive? Would we be attending the same university? Possibly living together?
A loud bang on my door wakes me. I’m curled on my side, clutching the bracelet to my chest.
“Come on, Kristian. You said you had this handled, we’re going to be late,” Jake’s voice echoes through my door.
“Then leave. I didn’t ask you to wait for me.” I drag myself off the bed slowly and open the door. I’m a little sluggish from lack of sleep, but I don’t let it show as I raise my eyebrow at him. “Well, what are you standing there staring for, let’s go.” He shakes his head and leads the way out of our flat.
I lay my pen down on the desk and glance around the classroom; I’m one of the first to finish. Jake is furiously scribbling away beside me. I’m not worried. I may be tired and unfocused, but I know I passed. All I’ve ever wanted to do is produce television. I paid attention during our lectures.
***
“Congratulations, son.” My father pats me on the back roughly before my mother jumps in and squeezes me so tightly I can’t breathe. I kept the news from them as long as I could so I wouldn’t have to deal with the awkward goodbyes. I’ve been accepted as an intern at Channel Eight News in Brokenridge, a large coastal city about four hours from here.
“We are so proud of you.” Mom pushes me back by the shoulders and looks up into my face with tear filled eyes. “Have you found somewhere to live yet?”
I wish I could feel something when I look at her sad face, but I just feel cold and empty. My emotions deserted me years ago, or I deserted them, who knows.
“I’ve found a small apartment a few blocks from the network building, so I won’t have far to walk to get to work.” I turn and place my last box of clothes into the back of my car.
My mother smiles and pats me on the cheek when I turn back to her. “Make sure to let us know the address so we can come and visit. And don’t forget to call.” She breaks down again, and pulls a tissue from her sleeve to wipe her nose. Dad lays his arm around her shoulders and gives me a small nod and a wave as I hop into my car and start the ignition.
By the time I find my new apartment in the big city of Brokenridge, I’m exhausted and sick of traffic. I heft the last box up the stairs and drop it on the floor in the small kitchen with the others, then I look around. I really don’t have much; clothes, books, a few mismatched photo frames. It all seems a bit depressing. Sighing, I unpack the box of bed sheets and head for the only bedroom in the apartment.
Turning all of the lights off, I lay down on my side on the bed. The street light streams through my bedroom window, making everything look gray and devoid of color. Pulling Jessica’s bracelet out of my pocket, I stare at the cold metal. She could be here with me right now. Alive. It’s my fault. I should have caught her, she was my responsibility. I’m a murderer. She was right there; I shouldn’t have let her get so close to the edge.
My mind conjures the last memory I have of her face, just to torture me. Her beautiful blue eyes wide with fear, her golden hair flying around her shoulders as she falls. I shut my eyes tightly and try to push her image from my mind. She was so beautiful and sweet and caring, how can she be gone? I pull my legs up closer so I’m curled in a ball; the tears dribble past my closed eyes and slip across my face to fall on my blanket. I feel so alone.
JESSICA
I’m floating, soaring. My arms are held out as I fly through the darkness around me. I don’t know why I’m here or what happened, but I don’t care, this place feels so incredibly peaceful, as if everything is right with the world. I could sail through this perfect darkness forever.
To my left, a bright white light abruptly appears, throwing me sideways and blinding my sensitive eyes. My stomach drops with the sensation of falling. I inhale sharply and let out a scream of terror.
Suddenly I’m lying on my side in the dark. I can just make out shapes and shadows around me in the dim room. Where am I? My eyes adjust slowly until I can make out the form of a person lying beside me. I open my mouth to scream again, but before I get the chance, the person rolls over in the bed to face me and I pause. Kristian? It looks like him, only older. He has thick stubble on his cheeks, as if he hasn’t shaved in weeks, and his hair is a mess. Why does he look so much older than the last time I saw him? I don’t think he even had facial hair when we graduated. And where are we?
I reach out my hand to touch his face and stop. My hand is see-through. I frown and turn it around in the vague light. Glancing down, I realize my entire body is translucent and I’m wearing a white dress. I don’t own any white dresses.
Kristian moans and I look back at his sleeping face. Stretching my hand out, I try to touch him again.
My fingers glide down his cheek, barely touching his skin. I stop and place my whole hand on his neck. I can’t feel his skin or his warmth, it’s like my hand is numb.
A shivery sensation fills my body and runs down to my fingertips, my skin glows for a split second and then turns solid. I can suddenly feel Kristian’s neck under my hand; feel his heavy breaths, the heat coming off his skin. I jerk my hand away quickly and look down at my fading fingers. My skin goes transparent again and I frown in confusion.
I glance between my hand and Kristian in wonder, and then I slowly place my hand on his cheek. Immediately my whole body goes solid and I can feel everything around me. The comfortable, soft sheets beneath me, the slightly chilly early morning air on my skin, and Kristian.
His eyes fly open and he stares at me for a split second before he jerks upright in surprise and scoots backwards on the bed with a cry. He hits the floor on the other side of the bed with a loud thump and a groan. Recovering quickly, he peeks over the edge of the bed looking for me. His eyes scan the room and he frowns into the darkness. It takes me a moment to realize he can’t see me; my skin has gone see-through again.
“I’ve gone crazy and finally lost my mind,” he mutters, pushing his hand through his messy hair. The bracelet he gave me for our one year anniversary lies on the bed between us; he must have been holding it while he slept. I smile and duck my head. How sweet.
He settles back down on the bed near me and picks up the bracelet. He holds it above his head, watching it swing from his fingers. He looks so sad.
I reach out to comfort him, and as soon as I touch his hand, I become solid again. Kristian’s eyes widen but he doesn’t look at me.
“I’m imagining things.” He sucks in a deep breath and turns his head to look at me.
I smile. “Hi.” I keep my hand on his so I don’t disappear.
“Hi,” he whispers. “I’m dreaming, aren’t I?”
“Why would you be dreaming?” I ask, curious.
“Jessica, you’re dead.” His expression is completely flat and devoid of emotion. Almost harsh.
I frown. “I’m dead?”
He nods. “For six years now.”
“Wow.” My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. I feel like I should be freaking out or at least scared, but all I can think about is how that explains why he looks so much older. “So how am I here now?”
Kristian shakes his head and rolls on his side to face me. I lose my grip on his hand and turn translucent again. Kristian sits up and looks around in confusion. “Jess?” He almost sounds panicked.
“I’m here,” I respond, frowning down at my hand and sitting up on the bed.
Kristian swings his head round to face my general direction. “I can hear you, but I can’t see you.”
I scramble across the bed and place my hand on his knee, instantly becoming solid again. Ha, I think I have this worked out now. Kristian drops my bracelet over the edge of the bed in surprise; it clinks as it hits the hardwood floor. I disappear again. Okay, I’m getting sick of this now.
“What happened?” Kristian eyes glaze over as he loses sight of me.
It must be the bracelet.
“Pick up my bracelet.” He nods. As soon as he’s holding the bracelet again, my skin becomes firm.
Kristian inhales sharply and smiles. “You’re really here?” Tears well up in his eyes, making them shine with grief as he searches my face, looking for answers.
“Yes, I’m really here.” I frown. “Sort of.” Keeping one hand on his, I reach up with the other and wipe a stray tear off his cheek. He closes his eyes and sighs, leaning into my hand.
“God, I missed you, Jess.” Kristian places one of his hands over mine and opens his eyes again. The sunrise is beginning to show through the room; the dark grey light turning to a blushed pink. The reflection of the light glows in his dark, shiny eyes.
I smile and lay back down on the bed, pulling him with me. We lay on our sides facing each other, our hands joined in the middle, the bracelet held between our palms. We’re silent for a long time, just gazing at each other.
“I want to stay right here like this forever,” Kristian whispers into the slowly brightening room.
I smile. “It’s nice, isn’t it?”
“You look the same as you did the last time I saw you.” I can see the hurt glitter in his eyes as he speaks. He’s remembering something horrible.
“You don’t. You look much older.”
He smirks. “I’m twenty-three now.” Wow. I never thought of it like that. Kristian glances away quickly before turning his gaze back to me. “What’s it like?”
“Being dead?” He nods, his grip on my hand tightening. I glance over at the open window while I answer. “It felt peaceful, like I was floating. But now, now I just feel nothing. I’m not hungry or thirsty; I don’t feel heavy or tired. I don’t even feel angry or sad. It’s as if I could float away at any moment.”
Kristian’s eyes widen suddenly and his hand twitches in mine. “Don’t leave.”
I smile reassuringly and rub my thumb across his hand. “Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere.” He lets out a heavy breath and his face relaxes. “So what’s happened since I’ve been gone?”
He opens his mouth to answer, but he’s cut off by his phone alarm singing loudly into the room. Of all the times for a phone to interrupt something, this is important. I scrunch up my nose in annoyance as he keeps a hold of my hand while reaching behind him to silence it. “I have to get ready for work, I start my new job today,” he says, turning back to face me.
“Wow, for a moment there I forgot how old you are.” I giggle and place my other hand over my mouth.
He gazes at me steadily. “I have missed you so much, Jessica.” He looks down at our intertwined fingers and then back at my face. “Will you stay? You’ll still be here when I come home?”
“Of course. I would never leave you on purpose.” He smiles weakly and reluctantly slides off the bed, keeping hold of my hand until only the tips of our fingers touch. My body goes translucent and I sit up on the bed to watch him wander around the room opening boxes, searching for his clothes.
***
KRISTIAN
I tip-toe across the cold wood floor to the living area to search through my stacked up boxes. If I were smart, I would have got my work clothes out yesterday before falling asleep in my dirty jeans and T-shirt. I pull one smaller box from a stack near the kitchen and rip the tape open. The early morning light is just enough to see by.
I feel a little light headed; I’m not sure if I’m dreaming or if Jessica is really here. I hold my hand to my head as I lean over and pull a pair of pants and a button up shirt from the box and walk back to my room. Maybe I’ve gone crazy.
Dropping the clothes on the bed, I reach down to unbutton my jeans and pause. “Jess?” I ask the empty room, feeling stupid.
A soft giggle echoes around me. “Yes, Kristian?”
I can feel the heat radiating up my face. “Could you maybe wait in the other room while I get dressed?”
“I suppose.” Her voice echoes softly. I can almost feel her leave the room. I shake my head and frown. This is beyond impossible. I don’t believe in ghosts.
I dig through another box looking for my messenger bag. It can’t have gotten far; I thought I put it in the top of one of the other boxes. The stack of boxes beside me teeters to the side and falls, scattering all of my belongings across the floor. I growl out a curse under my breath and glare down at my stupid messenger bag lying on top of the mess.
Taking a deep, calming breath, I throw the bag over my shoulder and walk to the front door. I pause just before turning the knob and glance around the room. Jessica suddenly materializes in front of me, her hand on my face, and a cheeky smirk on her lips. “Looking for me?”
I reach up slowly and run my fingers over her soft cheek and into her silky golden hair. She closes her eyes with a sigh and leans toward me. I’m pretty sure I’m dreaming, I mean, she’s dead, and it’s not possible for her to be here. However, I also don’t want to lose her again; I’m not ready to let her go. “I’ll see you when I get home then?” I choke out the words, my voice cracking. She opens her gorgeous deep blue eyes and nods, pulling her hand away from my jaw. She dissolves into nothingness. I can still feel her in the room with me.
Exhaling a shaky breath, I nod to myself and exit the apartment, locking the door behind me. The air is frigid and windy out on the street, I should have brought a jacket. As I walk briskly to the news station, my breath comes out as white fog in front of me.
I wonder if Jess really will be at my apartment when I return. This feels like some sort of sick joke from the universe, as if its shoving my pain in my face and saying ‘Here, have a mouthful of this before I snatch it all away again,’ and then laughing at my suffering.
I pause across the street from the news station to gather my thoughts and pull myself back together. I need this job. I want this job.
The heat must be turned on inside Channel 8’s reception foyer; I uncross my shivering arms from my cold chest and adjust my bag. Standing just inside the doorway, I lift my head, gazing up in awe at the enormous canvas pictures hung up on the walls. Some of them are news anchors, smiling and professional looking; others are scenes from local tragedies or triumphs, a horrific fire, a sports person clinging to a trophy. It’s somewhat stunning, really.
A small woman with dark brown hair and glasses pushes past me roughly, smirking over her shoulder as she makes her way to the front desk. I shake my head. Some people are just rude.
I make my way over to the front desk and stand away from her as I wait for the reception clerk to get my I.D. badge ready.
More interns arrive and we all mill about as a group in front of the flustered clerk’s desk as she fumbles with papers and clip-on badges. The rude brunette shuffles through the crowd toward me, I try my hardest not to groan loudly at her as she comes to a stop beside me.
“Hi.” I keep my face blank, she’s almost too cheery. I hate it. “So you’re interning here too?” she asks, gazing up at me expectantly, oblivious to my internal tirade. She has light blue eyes, almost grey. Instantly my mind conjures up an image of Jessica’s beautiful deep blue eyes. This girl’s eyes don’t even compare. Besides, this one wears glasses. I turn away from her and focus on the poor receptionist.
“Hey.” The brown-haired woman moves to stand directly in front of me on her tippy toes, trying to get my attention. She’s kind of short. I gaze down at her uninterested. “I was talking to you. I asked you a question. Don’t be rude.” She huffs at me, placing her hands on her hips. I roll my eyes at her and open my mouth to tell her to get lost when the receptionist calls everyone to come over and collect their badges before following the HR Manager, who’s standing to the side near the elevators.
I nudge my way past the pushy girl and snatch my badge off the desk, and then I walk over to the group gathering around the blonde HR Manager.
“Good Morning everyone, my name is Georgia, and I will be helping you find your assigned departments so you can all start your blossoming careers.” Georgia smiles, showing off her pearly white teeth and clapping her hands in anticipation. “Now, I’ve already assigned everyone a partner or teammate. You will have to be there to help and support your partner through your internship. Let’s begin, shall we?”
I sigh and glance around the dwindling group of people. Georgia calls out another two names and I look over at the last person besides me not assigned a partner. The pushy brunette strolls over to me with a smile. “Looks like we’ll be working together.”