Authors: Virginia Jewel
“Sure.”
I hung up the phone and flopped back down on the bed. I forced my eyes closed and took a few deep breaths. The sound of muted voices caught my ear, so I got back up and walked softly to the door. I opened the door quietly and tiptoed down the hall towards my parents’ room and the muted voices.
“I know, dear, but it’s not our day. If this is what they want then we just need to be supportive.” My dad’s deep voice was softer than usual.
I pressed my ear against the door to try to catch more of it.
My mom’s voice followed, “I just think that Melody would have preferred something smaller and less lavish. This whole thing seems to have stressed her out.”
“She did seem less like herself tonight,” my dad sighed.
“Except when she was in the backseat with Josh,” my mom giggled.
I could feel my cheeks burning, even though I knew no one could see me.
A deep laugh joined in and added, “I’m afraid of what might have happened if I hadn’t interrupted them.”
“They are going to be so happy together.”
“If anyone can be, it’s those two.”
My mom let out a long contented sigh.
“You’re thinking about grandkids already, aren’t you?”
As I walked back to my room, I could hear my mom laughing softly. I crawled back into my bed and pulled the blanket up around me. I needed to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, no matter what happened.
18.
The rain was really coming down, but I just couldn’t muster up the strength to knock on the door. I could hear the television on inside, so I knew he was home, but I also heard two voices. The last thing I wanted to see was a happy couple. But the longer I stood there, the wetter I got.
I took a deep breath, wiped the mascara away from my eyes, and knocked lightly on the door.
It opened swiftly and a petite redhead in a white tank top answered it with a smile. “Are you the pizza delivery person?” Her eyes roamed the length of me, looking for a pizza box.
“Is Josh here?”
She opened the door wider and Josh appeared in the doorway in a tank top that matched the redhead’s. His back was to me as he counted his money. He turned around, ready to pay for the pizza.
When he saw me, his face fell.
“Mel? What’s wrong? Why are you soaked?” he asked with a panic. “Have you been crying?”
All the sobs I’d fought off since getting out of the car came bursting out of me. Josh pulled me into the apartment.
“Who is this?” the redhead asked him.
Josh ignored her and sat me down on the couch. He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around me. He put his arm around me as he sat down next to me. His hand rubbed my back as I continued to cry.
“Josh, what’s going on?” the redhead was not content to be ignored.
“I don’t know,” he answered without taking his eyes off me. “Mel, what’s going on?”
I took a deep breath, “Stephen broke up with me.” I choked out slowly.
Josh sighed and pulled me closer to him.
“And he kicked me out,” I cried against his arm.
“Shh,” he rubbed my back harder, “He’s an idiot.” He rocked me slowly for a few more minutes.
Eventually, he got me up off the couch and led me to the bathroom to wash my face. The cold water against my face helped, but I still wasn’t feeling myself. When I came back to the living room, the redhead was gone.
“What happened to your girlfriend?” I asked with a hoarse voice. I scanned the room for her, but couldn’t see anything but a pizza box.
“I sent her home.” Josh handed me a mug of hot tea, “And she wasn’t my girlfriend.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to mess up your night.” I set the mug down on the coffee table and walked towards the door.
Josh grabbed my arm, “Don’t be ridiculous.” He pulled me back towards the couch. “I didn’t really like her anyway.”
I sat down and he handed me the mug again.
He sat down next to me, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Tears started welling up in my eyes again and I shook my head.
“So I’m guessing you’ll need a place to stay tonight?”
I nodded and wiped a tear away.
He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his side. “You are welcome to stay here as long as you need to. You know I love having you here.”
“That’s just because I like to clean,” I sniffed against him.
He laughed, “You know me so well.”
I let him hold me for a few minutes before I sat up and pulled away from him. I put the mug on the coffee table and fell back against the couch. I closed my eyes and sighed.
“You know you’re too good for him, right?” Josh whispered softly.
“Josh,” I pleaded with him to stop.
“I know. You don’t want to talk about. I just thought you should know that you are an amazing woman who deserves to be treated better than the way he treated you.” He said quickly, before I could stop him.
I held back the tears this time and just kept my eyes closed.
“I’ll go get the bed ready for you.” He got up from the couch and left me alone.
Even though I hated hearing it, I knew that Josh was right. He was always right. Every time a guy broke my heart, Josh was there telling me what I’d known all along. I may not have been good at picking boyfriends, but I could not have picked a better best friend.
“Okay, the bed’s all made.” He announced when he came back into the room. “I even used clean sheets.” He grinned goofily at me.
I smiled at him, “Are they actually clean or just cleaner than usual?”
“I got them out of the closet just for you.”
I sighed, “What would I do without you, Josh?”
He grabbed my hands and pulled me up off the couch, “Who knows? It’s amazing how you got through sixteen years before you met me.”
His room was a mess, but in the middle of the room sat a clean bed.
“I’ll sleep on the couch tonight, and tomorrow we’ll figure everything else out.” He rubbed my shoulders as he gently nudged me into the room.
I kicked my shoes off and crawled into the bed. “We can both sleep in the bed. I can’t give you the same kind of night your redhead friend was offering, but I can promise not to hog the covers.”
Josh smiled at me, “Trust me, your offer is much more tempting, but I don’t mind staying on the couch.”
“Will you at least hang out with me for a bit?”
He crawled onto the bed and sat up against the headboard. “I can stay with you until you fall asleep, if you’d like.”
“Thank you,” I closed my eyes and squeezed the pillow tightly.
Josh stroked my hair and cheek, and for the first time in a long time, I started to relax.
“I can’t believe I wasted over a year on a guy that was never going to marry me.” I whispered against the pillow.
“Love is a complicated thing, Mel. You can’t make someone love you, no matter how badly you want them to.” He kept stroking my hair lightly.
“We’ve been fighting a lot lately and things had been really tense. I caught him out with a girl tonight, and when I confronted him about it he said it was my fault. He said that if I wasn’t such a nag then he wouldn’t be tempted to go out with other girls.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Trip.”
“I know,” I sighed, “it just feels like it.”
“Mel, someday the luckiest guy in the world is going to snag you and all this heartache is going to be a distant memory.” He leaned down and kissed me on the top of my head. “I’m sorry that you’re hurting right now.”
“This helps,” I said softly against the pillow.
The next day Josh and I drove over to Stephen’s place, my old place, and gathered up all my things. Since I’d moved into Stephen’s apartment eight months earlier I didn’t have many things of my own anymore. All the furniture in the apartment was Stephen’s, so I only had clothes and a few decorative items to get.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to break something just to spite him?” Josh asked for the third time. He’d already picked up a vase and a glass sculpture and offered to smash them.
“No, he’s not worth it.” I smiled at him.
“Well, you just say the word and I’ll bull-in-a-china-shop this place!” he wiggled his eyebrows at me.
After we left my old apartment, Josh drove me to the furniture store to pick out a new bed. The one surprisingly good thing about living with Stephen was that he hadn’t made me pay rent. I’d saved a few thousand because of that, so I was able to buy a new bed without worry.
“I probably won’t stay with you for very long, so I’m not going to get a dresser or anything yet. I just need a bed to sleep in and a closet to throw my stuff into it.” I said when we got back to his apartment.
It had taken us two trips to carry all my stuff in and now we were standing in the empty guest room of Josh’s apartment.
“You know you can stay as long as you want. I like having you around, you’re fun.” He threw a bag of clothes at me.
“Yes, I’m a real laugh a minute these days,” I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes.
Josh picked me up in a big bear hug and shook me until I started laughing.
“You know I love you and having you all to myself is even better!”
For the next two weeks, Josh kept me busy and happy. As long as he was around, I didn’t think about Stephen. I didn’t have time to think about him because I was too busy laughing. Josh always knew exactly what to say, or do, to make me happy again. Whether it was organizing a board game night at our place, or just renting an old movie and curling up on the couch with me, Josh knew how to keep me smiling.
But no matter how happy I seemed during the day, or while Josh was around, the emptiness always came back at night. Sleeping alone after sharing a bed with someone for almost a year, took some getting used to. For me, the empty spot beside me was a nightly reminder of all the months I’d wasted with Stephen.
Some nights, I’d lay awake for hours after I should have been asleep and just think about everything that had gone wrong. Other nights, I cried myself to sleep.