Authors: Virginia Jewel
One night, as I lay in my bed using my pillow to dry my eyes, Josh burst through the door.
“I can’t do this anymore, Trip. It’s been two weeks and I’ve listened to you cry yourself to sleep almost every night. I can’t take it.” He didn’t raise his voice at me, but I could tell from his tone that he was angry.
I sat up in the bed and unleashed all my anger on him, “I’m sorry, Josh, but I can’t help it. I miss him. I know you don’t understand it because you never liked him, but I did. I loved him and I thought I was going to spend my life with him. So sue me if I need a little time to get over it!”
“Damn it Trip, you are so frustrating!” he sighed and threw his hands up in frustration. “The perfect guy for you could be standing right in front of you and you would never see him because you get in your own way. You can’t keep blaming yourself for something that’s not your fault. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”
I got up on my knees on the bed and shouted back at him. “Have you ever been in love Josh? Have you ever felt your heart aching just to be near someone? Do you know what it’s like to feel that? Do you know what it feels like to hurt this much just because someone doesn’t want you anymore?”
Josh walked to the bed and crawled up to meet me in the middle. “I do know. I’m sorry, it’s just hard to see you hurting like this and not be able to help you.”
I sank back down and sat on my feet, “You are helping, believe me. I don’t think I would be half as sane right now if you hadn’t been here for me.”
He curled up beside me and I rested my head on his shoulder. “I’ll always be here for you, Trip.”
19.
I watched as two tan teenagers passed by carrying surfboards.
“Can I get you another drink?” a waiter appeared at my side.
I smiled brightly at him, “Actually, I was thinking of joining my husband in the water. Can you bring that drink to me in ten minutes?”
“I certainly can. Enjoy your swim,” he nodded and walked away smiling.
I stood up, unwrapped the skirt from my waist, and tossed it on my chair. Several people watched as I walked across the sand wearing nothing but the little red bikini my mom had given me. As I walked towards the warm blue water, I looked out and saw Josh standing waist deep waving to me.
He looked amazing. The Hawaiian sun had bronzed his skin and lightened his hair. Water droplets glistened against his chest making him look even more gorgeous than usual. I could feel the smile spreading across my face, as I got closer to him.
“I’m glad you decided to join me,” he said with a smile when I waded out to him.
I wrapped my arms around him and pulled his face down to mine for a kiss.
His fingers played gently in my hair even after he pulled away from the kiss.
“Mel, wake up.”
“What?”
“Melody, honey, you need to wake up,” he said again, only this time he said it with my mother’s voice.
Suddenly, everything was shaking. Josh’s face faded away and the view around me changed from the beautiful Hawaiian scene to my bedroom in my parent’s house.
I opened my eyes wider to try to find Josh’s smiling face again. However, it wasn’t Josh’s face I saw above me, it was my mom’s.
“Melody, it’s almost five-thirty. I thought you had to be at the salon at six?” my mom asked as she sat down on the edge of my bed.
I shot up. “What? I was supposed to get up at five!” I threw the covers off me, shrouding my mom with the blanket, and jumped out of bed.
She pulled the blanket off her head. “We heard your alarm go off and thought you’d already gotten up. But when I walked past your room, I stuck my head in to say good morning and you were still in bed.”
I ran around the room gathering the things I needed to take a shower and get ready for the salon. “I’m never going to make it there on time!”
“Don’t worry,” she stood up, “You get in the shower, and I’ll have your father start loading things into the car. We’ll get you there as quickly as we can.”
By the time I got out of the shower, my dress was loaded into the backseat of my father’s car and my mom was waiting for me with a banana and a cup of coffee. We pulled into the salon fifteen minutes late.
The Wake up America camera crew was already in place and began filming as soon as I walked in. I was pushed into a chair and several sets of hands began to work on me at once. One person was working on my hair, one was very skillfully torturing me with hot wax, another was filing away at my fingernails, and the last one was rubbing my feet with lotion. With all that, there was still one more person sitting across from me trying to conduct an interview. I answered questions as best as I could with all the people working on me.
It took two hours to get my hair, nails, and makeup done. When they finished, I stared at myself in the mirror, not recognizing the woman staring back at me. It was more than just the painted face and elaborate hairstyle. I didn’t recognize myself at all. Everything that I was seeing was the opposite of what I’d always wanted for myself.
As a little girl, when I dreamed about my wedding, I always imagined it being something small. Perhaps it would be in my parents’ backyard or on a beach somewhere. I never wanted the big church affair with a fancy ball gown and stuffy party afterwards. Of course, what I was about to do wasn’t anything close to the big fancy church wedding, but it was still too much for me.
Wake up America had ordered a car to take me from the salon to the store. I crawled into the backseat and let out a huge sigh of relief. I was alone, finally. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the seat.
“Don’t smash your hair! Try not to lean against anything!” the stylist shouted from the other side of the glass before we could pull out of the parking lot.
I sat up and smiled at her. When the car pulled out of sight, I put my head back down against the seat. The quiet of the car was a welcome reprieve from the noisy salon. For the first time that day, it was quiet enough for me to hear my own thoughts.
My mind immediately went back to last night’s thoughts.
Josh was in love with me, and always had been.
I needed to talk to him. I needed to hear him say it before I could process it. I reached into my bag for my cell phone and called Josh. Just like last night, I got his voicemail. I didn’t leave a message. What would I say?
We pulled into the store’s parking lot. It was empty except for a few cars and several news vans. The car pulled right up to the front door and Sam came out to meet me with several of the assistants trailing behind him.
“Good morning, Mel. You look great!” Sam opened the door for me and helped me out of the car. “The photographer is already set up to get some candid shots of you getting ready.”
I gave him a quick look.
“All tasteful shots, of course,” he smiled. “We’re thinking some shots of you looking at the dress, having your mom lace the dress up for you, and then you looking in the mirror.”
I rolled my eyes, “That’s pretty specific and almost the opposite of candid.”
Sam laughed, “Nothing on television is ever as candid as it appears.”
The doors to the store opened up and I caught my first glimpse of Nathan’s plan brought to life. The store looked amazing. I had walked through the doors of that store thousands of times, but I had never seen it like that. There were no signs hanging from the ceiling. The store was closed, so the usual beeping of the registers was replaced by the sound of a string quartet practicing.
“Marley will take you to the dressing room. Your dad dropped the dress off earlier. Your mom should be here shortly.” Sam walked me towards the same dressing room my dad and I had started at last night.
The bottom of the dress was sticking out from under the door and I bent down to sweep it back. As I did, a camera began flashing wildly. I looked up to see a photographer pointing a camera at me.
“Just act like I’m not here,” he said as he continued to snap pictures of me.
“Easier said than done,” I mumbled and stood up.
“Marley, can we get that door open and get a shot of Melanie looking at her dress?” the photographer gave instructions as he snapped more pictures.
“It’s Melody. My name is Melody, not Melanie,” I grumbled. I was starting to get a headache and the decision to skip breakfast was coming back to haunt me.
Marley pulled the door open and my dress came into view. As soon as I saw it, my stomach dropped. Nausea hit me and I grabbed onto the dressing room door closest to me to keep from falling over.
“It’s a beautiful dress!” Marley said excitedly.
“I need to sit down,” I muttered quietly.
Marley looked at me in panic, but the photographer pulled a chair out for me swiftly.
“It happens all the time. Most brides don’t eat enough in the weeks leading up to the big day and even fewer of them eat anything at all on the big day.” He started fanning me, “Just keep fanning her and I’ll go get her something to eat.”
Marley waved her hands frantically in front of me. “Oh God, please don’t pass out. I only have one thing to do this whole day and I cannot mess it up!”
I forced a small smile, “I’ll try my best to not get you fired.”
Her face relaxed, “Thank you! Please tell me what I can do to help you today. As long as you stay conscious all day, I will get you whatever you want.”
I looked up at her, “Can you get me some alone time with Josh? I really need to talk to him privately before the ceremony.”
She lowered her eyes at me and studied my face. After a few seconds, she nodded slightly.
The photographer came back with a plate of cut fruit and they both watched me as I ate. My stomach was twisting into knots and the last thing I wanted was to put something into it, but I didn’t want to let Marley down. When the plate was empty, Marley took it and pushed me towards the dressing room.
Thankfully, the photographer didn’t follow me into the room, but he did take a few shots of my head and feet sticking out from the other side of the door. When I was ready, Marley came in and helped pull the dress over my head.
I walked out of the dressing room, holding the bodice of the dress tightly to me, just as my mom arrived. When she saw me standing there in the dress, with my hair and makeup done, she started to cry. The camera went crazy as my mom sobbed.
I tried my best to make the appropriate facial expressions, but really, I just wanted to scream.
“Can you help lace me up, please?” I asked my mom, pulling her out of her emotional outburst.
“Of course, I can,” she pulled a tissue out of her purse and wiped her eyes dry.
Marley and my mom laced me into the dress, while the photographer walked around us snapping pictures. He kept shouting at me to smile, but the tighter they pulled the dress against me, the harder it was to maintain control of myself. I could feel the anxiety rising up in me.
When the dress was on securely, everyone stepped away from me and smiled. I turned to look at myself in the mirror and felt my knees go weak. My mom rushed to my side and held me up.
“You look so beautiful, honey.”
“Thank you.”
We smiled at each other in the mirror.