Nurse Trudie is Engaged (16 page)

CHAPTER SEVEN

When Trudie went back inside Veronica had already left the room and gone up to bed.

“
She said she had a headache,
”
Dr. Hislop explained when Trudie casually remarked on the absence of her sister-in-law.
“
I wish she would open up a little more, poor child,
”
he went on in a compassionate tone.
“
I
’
m sure she would be a great deal happier if only she would talk to us.
”

“
About Garth, you mean?
”
It was Malcolm who put the question, quietly and without emotion.
“
Perhaps there is something about their lives and that tragic ending, she would rather not discuss with anyone.
”
he went on quietly.
“
We all sense there was ... something out of the ordinary and can
’
t put a finger on it. We are completely in the dark, but I still say you
’
ll get nowhere by trying to find out from Veronica. Leave well enough alone,
”
he advised, rising from his chair and stifling a yawn.
“
Whatever it was it
’
s over now, and unless we hear something from an outside source I think it wiser not to probe.
”

“
Maybe he
’
s right.
”
Dr. Hislop packed his last pipe of the late evening carefully as Malcolm said good night and left them. In the far corner of the room Geoff was carefully placing the files into his briefcase he had assembled for Ursula to take to Herr Mazo the next morning quite oblivious of anything or anyone around him.

“
At any rate,
”
Dr. Hislop went on, puffing placidly and looking affectionately at his daughter through the blue haze of smoke,
“
you
’
re happy enough, my pet, and that means a great deal to me. You are happy, aren
’
t you?
”
he added, suddenly urgent.
“
I mean about this engagement of yours. Any date settled for the wedding so far?
”

“
No date so far,
”
Trudie said with an effort, and with an even greater effort she smiled at him.
“
We both have work to do first,
”
she said lightly,
“
and there
’
s
n
o hurry. But I
’
m happy,
”
she assured him.
“
Why ever should I not be?
”

Why not, indeed? She asked herself the question scarcely listening as her father talked on, putting into words his hopes and dreams for his children
’
s future. Why should she not be happy, when, despite whatever attraction it was that lay between Veronica and Philip, he wanted to continue with their game, still wanted the world to believe she was his chosen wife-to-be, and accepted everywhere as his
fiancée
. Dr. Hislop
’
s monologue ended. Carefully he knocked out his pipe and picked up the flask of hot malted milk that Mrs. Emma always left ready for him to take upstairs.

“
I think we all deserve a little extra rest tonight,
”
he remarked.
“
Don
’
t stay up too long, Geoff, and see to the lights before you come up, won
’
t you?
”

He waited for Trudie to precede him up the wide, curving stairs, and although she had never felt less like sleep in her life Trudie obediently went ahead, saying good night outside her own bedroom door.

Across the narrow corridor the door of the guest room was tightly shut and no sound came from within. Crossing her own room, without switching on the light but going to sit on the wide window seat to gaze out over the moonlit yard, Trudie wondered about the woman across the corridor. How real had been the tears she had waited for Philip to dry? How much of this supposed loneliness and feeling of being forlorn and bereft was really her own doing?

“
I suppose I
’
d feel the same, in her shoes.
”
Trudie tried to be fair, but even in her wildest dreams she could not see herself exchanging the sort of glances she had seen Veronica exchanging with Philip, with any other man in the world.
“
Especially if I
’
d been married to him and lost him,
”
she thought, feeling desolate herself.

“
I must try to be kinder,
”
she resolved.
“
Everything over here must be strange to her; our way of life, our conversation—no show-business talk—everything. I must try to see things through her eyes; maybe that will help me to understand.
”

She broke off her thoughts as she heard a tap on her bedroom door. At first she thought she must have been mistaken, so light was the sound, but it was repeated softly and insistently. Without pausing to wonder Trudie felt she knew instinctively who was there. She slid off the seat and stood up, facing the door.

“
Come in, Veronica,
”
she called softly.
“
Switch on the light by the door, please.
”

A moment later the room was flooded with light. Veronica, in a clinging dressing gown of some filmy scarlet material edged with white fur, stood looking at her, blinking a little in the light. She leaned back on the door as if she found its support really necessary.

“
Come right in, won
’
t you?
”
Trudie invited, her newly made resolve to be kind urging her on.
“
Couldn
’
t you sleep either?
”

“
I
’
ve been lying there in the dark,
”
she said suddenly and with concentrated passion in her voice,
“
imagining you lying here worrying about Philip
’
s kissing me.
”
She brought out the words deliberately, watching Trudie
’
s face closely. With a tremendous effort that she hoped was invisible, Trudie gave a little laugh, surprising herself.

“
That?
”
she asked airily.
“
But you explained all that at the time. Philip doesn
’
t think any more about it.
”
She hoped she was speaking the truth, but whether she was or not Veronica had to be convinced that she was!
“
Neither do I. We both know it was of no importance, an impulsive gesture of comfort. You
’
re not to worry about it at all,
”
she ended kindly.

Veronica stared at her as though she could not believe her ears. Inhaling deeply, she spoke slowly, as if still trying to convince herself she had heard aright.

“
I think you
’
re wonderful,
”
came her husky tones.
“
Most girls would have had me pack my bags and leave. It
’
s very rarely one finds someone with such understanding.
”
There was the faintest hesitation before the last word.
“
You
’
d never believe,
”
she went on in a confidential tone,
“
just how much trouble this sort of thing has caused in my life during the past few years. Men have always been drawn to me, attracted to me,
”
she paused a moment and added hastily,
“
I don
’
t mean they
l
ove me,
”
her tone implying regret, Trudie thought cynically,
“
but there
’
s nothing I can do about it.
”

With an effort Trudie refrained from pointing out there was a great deal she could do about it by controlling glances, her veiled invitations and suggestions, but she held her tongue. Dimly she could sense an appeal behind the other girl
’
s words, but what it was she could not fathom. How was she to know that Veronica
’
s cross was the inability to really love, to give love from herself; her curse to find she was attractive inspiring only desire that, once assuaged, was of no more interest.

By then Trudie was too tired to worry and wonder any more; all she wanted now was for Veronica to go back to her own room and leave her in peace with both her thoughts and her dreams. She rose and stretched luxuriously, simulating a yawn.

“
Well,
”
she remarked brightly,
“
now that
’
s cleared up and you know we
’
re not going to ask you to leave or anything foolish like that, let
’
s both get some sleep or we
’
ll both look like wrecks in the morning, and I, at any rate, haven
’
t really got over last night as yet.
”

Reluctantly, but with no alternative offered, Veronica gathered the filmy folds of her gown about her and opened the door. With her hand still on the knob she said soulfully.
“
Thank you, Trudie. I won
’
t forget this. I
’
m sorry if it did worry you at the time. Good night.
”

“
Good night,
”
Trudie said.
“
Happy dreams!
”
But when the door had
closed she returned to her seat by the window. She sat for a long time, staring out into the yard where she and her twin had played in childhood and where, growing up, they had shared so many hopes, dreams and fears. She wondered, with a new ache in her heart, what sort of a life he had led in his months of marriage to a woman like Veronica.

Any lingering doubts that Trudie might have had regarding her interview with Veronica the night after the celebration party were dispelled, gradually but surely, in the ensuing days and weeks. Whether or not anyone else noticed she could not tell, but Philip was making a heroic stand against whatever fascination he had so far found in Veronica. It seemed to Trudie that he turned more and more to her as though for support, certain she would do all she could to help.

“
I wasn
’
t wrong,
”
she told herself some days later, watching Veronica
’
s face as she turned away from Philip out in the yard.
“
Whatever it was she wanted him to do for her, he has obviously refused, pleasantly but firmly,
”
Trudie thought.
“
I wonder what she
’
s thinking?
”

Veronica
’
s thoughts were always a mystery. Although she had now been with them almost three weeks they knew as little about her life in the States and with Garth, as they had known before she came to them. If they attempted to talk of things they hoped might interest her: current shows, films, newspaper gossip, she would immediately withdraw even further into herself, answering only in monosyllables. Very quickly she would make some excuse to leave the room, not returning until she was certain they were all absorbed in some different topic.

“
Malcolm must be right,
”
Trudie admitted to herself with reluctance because she did not wish to believe the evidence of her own senses.
“
She must have something to hide ... but what can it be? If it
’
s anything about Garth, surely we should be the first people she would turn to
...”

She broke off her musings as Veronica approached her while she was putting supports behind some heavy-headed late double tulips.

“
I wanted Philip to give me a driving lesson,
”
she began, half-pouting like a child denied of its toy,
“
but he refused. I
’
ve had a little money come to me this morning.
”
Trudie knew Veronica had received a letter from America that morning, but beyond saying it was from a girl with whom she had shared a room for a time just before she contacted them, she had vouchsafed no information.
“
I thought I
’
d buy myself a little car from that garage at the end of the village. I did offer it to your father—the money, I mean—for my being here, but he won
’
t take any of it,
”
she added almost defensively.
“
So I thought I
’
d find some way of getting around on my own for a bit. I don
’
t know how you all stick it out here, just the same old routine, same old faces, day after day and never a change.
”

“
You get used to it, after a few years,
”
Philip remarked conversationally, strolling across the lawn to join them but seating himself carefully at Trudie
’
s side.
“
You need an occupation, Veronica. Not just chasing around in a second-hand car on roads you don
’
t know and without any driving experience either. As for lessons, Charley Marshall is as good a teacher as anybody. He runs the driving school over at Fellfield and he
’
s a first-class instructor, not my sort of job at all. I
’
d never have the patience for one thing, and for another I
’
d
b
e afraid to risk my own neck while other people were learning how to avoid breaking their own. Not my cup of tea at all.
”
He grinned at Trudie.
“
I don
’
t think I
’
d do it, even for you,
”
he ended, as though, she thought, they were engaged and that sort of chaffering could be expected between them.

“
You don
’
t need to,
”
she answered him lightly and in the same vein.
“
I
’
ve had a license three and a half years now ... clean as a new pin!
”

“
Malcolm
’
s just coming in.
”
Philip had turned as Malcolm
’
s neat gray compact swung between the gates of The Cedars.
“
Get him to run you over to Charley
’
s now. I would if I were you. Malcolm knows Charley well, I think. He
’
d put in a good word for you, maybe even help you choose the right kind of car. Charley often knows where you can find a bargain.
”

“
You don
’
t have to make it so plain that you
’
d like to be rid of me!
”
Veronica said in a snappish tone quite unlike her usual slow, husky way of speaking.
“
Malcolm,
”
she prophesied,
“
will say he
’
s too busy... but I
’
ll ask him, all the same.
”

Both Philip and Trudie watched in silence as Veronica went to the side of Malcolm
’
s car. They were rewarded a few minutes later by the sight of her climbing into the seat beside him as he swung open the door in invitation.

“
Maybe we ought to have sent her to your father,
”
Philip said a little uneasily.
“
I only hope,
”
he ended as he caught her faint, rewarding smile,
“
I
’
m not pushing Malcolm into anything likely to cause him distress.

“
Malcolm is a very different person from anyone else I
’
ve ever known,
”
Trudie told him.
“
He
’
ll never let his emotions rule his head. He
’
ll give them so much rein and then ... check! You
’
ll see when he comes back,
”
she prophesied.
“
He
’
ll be exactly as he always is: cool, self-controlled and complete master of himself and whatever situation Veronica has contrived to arrange.
”