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On, well.

Soon the and is playing “Hey, Down There” with the new, reggae beat. Then

“Slow Down.”

When Maggie sings “Dust off your heart/Take it off the shelf/And don’t forget to love yourself,” I’m all choked u. she’s singing about herself, Nbook. And if I’m not mistaken, she’s believing it.

For the last two numbers, Rico calls for the rockers “No Retreat” and “Just in Time.”

The mood change is amazing.

Everyone’s gong wild.

When the set is over, the place explodes.

Cheers. Screaming. Stomping on the floor.

I’m ecstatic. Laughing and crying at the same time.

Someone behind me starts calling out Maggie’s name. it spreads through the whole gym, until the rhythm of the stomps match the rhythm of the chant.

Maggie looks flabbergasted. Dazed. She’s still sitting at the keyboard.

Justin is calling out to her, “Take a bow!”

She hears him and stands up. Then se does this prim little curtsey that Mrs.

Knudsen must have taught her to sue after piano recitals.

It’s totally wrong. But the crowd doesn’t care.

They’re roaring for her.

Maggie is beaming now. Soaking is up. Waving.

When she steps off the platform, I throw my arms around her. Nbook, I am so PROUD.

“Was I OK?” is the first thing she asks.

I burst out laughing. “can’t you tell?”

She smiles. “I guess.”

“LET’S GIVE IT UP FOR VANISH!” shout the DJ, who’s already spinning tunes.

Bruce, Patti, and Rico are leaping off the platform now. It’s pure pandemonium.

038

Then, from behind me, I hear Christina calling out, “Congratulations!”

I turn. I’m about to thank her, but I notice she’s looking at my right hand.

“What’s that?“ she asks.

The rose.

It’s bent now, but still beautiful.

I tell her somebody gave it to me.

“Lucky,” she said with this big, knowing smile “I wish someone would give me a rose like that.”

For a moment I feel about nine feet tall.

I mean, not long ago I’m feeling like the lowest form of life in vista. And now the most popular girl in school is jealous of me.

As she moves on to congratulate Maggie, I realise something.

I have to see Brendan.

To thank her. To apologise and explain.

Because Christina is right.

I am lucky.

Very lucky.

I run over to the food table, but he’s not there.

I circle around the gym. No Brendan.

I look into every group of kids. My stomach is singing and I’m realising I have blown it and I’m a complete fool, when I spot a couple dancing in the corner.

I’ve been introduced to the girl. I think her name’s Cheryl.

The guy she’s with is James.

After all this time, all the notes and weird behaviour, he’s finally found somebody else.

I’m relived.

I’m also horrified. Cheryl doesn’t deserve the treatment I got.

I want to run to her. Warn her away. But I know how James would react to that.

I figure I’ll catch her alone sometime.

James swings around. He’s facing my direction.

I duck away so he won’t see me. A nearby exit door is open, so I slip outside.

I’m about to walk past a guy sitting on the bottom step, but I stop short.

It’s Brendan.

My breath catches.

He doesn’t notice me. He’s looking off toward the pond, lost in his own world.

His face is glum.

He’s mad at me.

I hold the rose behind my back. “hey,” I call out.

He turns. He springs to his feet.

“Nice night,” he says.

He’s smiling. He doesn’t look angry at all.

I’m so grateful and relieved, I don’t know what to say. So I just stop babbling.

039

We both start laughing. And I realise this is the one thing James and I never did.

Laugh at each other. Laugh w

ith
each other. Laugh, period. Maybe that was out problem.

Was.

James is was now.

Brendan is is.

In the green-blue of his eyes I see sky and wter. No limits. No places to hide.

I see myself in there too. Me. Not an idea of a girlfriend. Not some trophy to make him look good.

It’s thrilling, Nbook.

Still, I’m frightened.

I mean, the sky is dangerous. So’s the water. I don’t know what I’m heading int.

All I know is that I trust him, Nbook.

Maybe it’s stupid, but feel I’ve known him my whole life.

And that makes him worth a try. Doesn’t it?

Anyway, all this is running through my head, and I hardly notice a slow love song had begun.

Brendan has taken my hand. He asks if I want to dance.

I say yes. We walk back into the gym.

Brendan puts his arm around me. I don’t really know how to slow dance. When he steps on my foot, I realise he doesn’t either.

That’s OK. We begin to rock gently to the beat, making sure to keep our feet to ourselves.

Nearby, James is dancing with Cheryl.

I spot Maggie. She’s at the food table, talking to Justin.

Just beyond them, Rico and Christina are in a deep conversation.

Brendan suddenly asks if I’m feeling all right.

I realise I’m distracted. As usual, thinking about other people’s happiness instead of my own.

I put my head on Brendan’s shoulder. I can hear the soft beat of his heart. We’re swaying now. I’m not sure if we’re in rhythm to the music.

But it doesn’t matter.

This is my happiness. This is my music.

Our music. No matter what our feet are doing, Brendan and I are in perfect sync.

I check on Maggie one more time. And Rico and Patti and Bruce. Just to make sure they’re OK.

And then I close my eyes. And know I’m in good hands.

It’s 2 A.M.

That’s in, Nbook.

that’s life.

To be continued.