“What’s wrong?” he asked softly.
“Nothing, I’m just tired,” I sighed.
“That line might work on someone else, but I know you too well. You look absolutely depressed. What’s wrong?”
I crossed my arms in an effort to hold in some of what I was feeling. There was no reason to unload everything that was going through my head on Alfred. Besides, I couldn’t even begin to tell him what was really bothering me. I hadn’t even shared with Kat what the full extent of my feelings were toward Marco, because the truth was, I didn’t really know. I had to put him out of my mind or I’d go crazy. Whatever the future might hold for me with regards to Marco could not be changed with worry and indecision. For the moment, I had no choice but to move on. I loved Alfred, there was no doubt of that in my mind. And he deserved to be loved completely, not a half-assed promise that I’d be true.
Whatever I felt for Marco, it was not love. I liked him. I really liked him. But love was something that took time, at least for me. And time with Marco was a luxury I had not been afforded. Until recently he had been my sworn enemy, and though I thought better of him the more I knew, I was having difficulty reconciling the difference.
There was no way to sum all of that up in a way Alfred would understand. At least not until he said softly, “I miss you.”
That was it. Those were the words I’d been searching for.
“I miss you, too.”
“It’s alright, whatever it is,” he almost whispered.
If he had suggested that I brush it off, or just get over whatever was bothering me, I’d have been fine. I was always prepared for anything but compassion. It was the one thing that could break me. Be angry all you want, yell, scream, fight, it doesn’t matter. Just don’t be kind to me, because my heart can’t take it.
Tears began to well up and I tried my best to hide it from him. I busied myself with pouring a glass of water, but Alfred wasn’t stupid.
“I was planning to be back next Sunday.”
I nodded and faced the sink, keeping my back to Alfred’s hologram.
“Do I need to come sooner?” he asked gently.
“No,” I sniffed. “I’m fine. It’s just ... I really am tired and....”
“Are you sure?” he interrupted.
I turned back to face him and forced myself to smile. “I’m fine.”
Alfred’s concern showed through his smile as he replied, “I don’t believe you, but I’ll see you next Sunday ... unless you tell me otherwise.” The smile faded with his last few words and his hologram leaned toward me as if that would bring him closer.
“
Cara mia,
do not hide from me,” he whispered softly.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to fall on my knees and cry. So much had happened in the past three months ... so many things that I had no choice but to hide.
“I’m not hiding.”
“Perhaps not, but what I see before me tonight is only a shadow of the woman I left behind.”
Then it occurred to me there were some things I
could
share with Alfred. I could tell him about Mathias Alexander being my great, great, grandfather! But as soon as the thought had crossed my mind I remembered who it was that had told me about Mathias, and knew I would have to keep that to myself, as well. I could have told him how worried I was about Richard, but he didn’t like Richard. I could have told him about Mathias, but couldn’t explain the situation without mentioning Marco, and that would never do. Of course, I couldn’t tell him about Elijah either. Oh hell, I’d just keep my mouth shut.
Finally, I decided I’d tell him half the truth. It was never my intention to hide anything from Alfred, but there were things that had transpired within the past few months that would have to remain secret.
“These past few months have been difficult,” I sighed. “I guess I’m just lonely.”
“That will shortly be remedied,” he said.
Alfred seemed to study me for a moment. As long as we’d known each other, I knew what he was trying to do. He was looking for a sign that I was lying to him. He was waiting for me to flinch or turn away from his scrutiny, but I did no such thing. I looked him right in the eye with my most blank and weary stare. I was very glad that Alfred could not read my mind.
“Alright.” He sighed. “If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine. I don’t have to know everything. But, I know you and you’re not just lonely.”
“Alfred, I have never lived alone,
ever.
For all you know, this is how loneliness affects me. How would you know otherwise? You’ve never seen me lonely.”
He seemed to consider my response for a minute.
“That might be true, but I’ve seen you with your heart broken before.” He smiled with a kindness I’d rarely seen and a tenderness that I had not before witnessed. “Surely, it doesn’t break your heart to be without me.”
“Actually, it does. Just a little.” I smiled weakly.
“What do you need me to do?” he asked.
I took a deep breath and gave the matter some thought before replying, “I need you to hold me and say wicked things to me in Italian.”
“That I can do,” he said with a grin.
“We shall see.” I smiled.
I heard a bumping noise and Alfred turned toward a door that I could not see. He turned back to me with a smile and said, “I’ll see you next Sunday.”
“
Buona notte
,” I whispered.
He raised an eyebrow as he responded, “Yes, goodnight.”
After our conversation ended I took a sleeping pill and went up to bed. It had been good to talk to Alfred and perhaps once he got back, things would be better. It was never my intention to hurt anyone by spending time with Elijah, but I was afraid I had hurt him.
It was also never my intention to even really know Marco, let alone know him well enough to hurt his feelings. But part of that could not be helped. He obviously cared for me and there was definitely something between us. I just wasn’t exactly sure what that something was. Since I didn’t have the time to find out, nor the ability to see the future, that gave me little choice except to let go as best I could and get on with my life.
But letting go of Marco, like so many other things in life, was easier said than done. The one thing I was certain of was what I felt when I looked at Alfred, and that had to be worth something. Once he returned, I was sure it would be easier to let go. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.
—
The following week passed much more uneventfully. Elijah called once, but I hadn’t heard from Marco since that night on the balcony. I fought the urge to reach out to him with my mind, just to know that he was alright. It took all week for me to resign myself to the fact that I had to let go of him if Alfred and I were ever going to have a chance. If I couldn’t do that, Alfred might as well not come back at all ... and I missed Alfred.
—
It was late Saturday night and I was in the training room practicing my technique with the new blades Alfred had sent me when I stopped suddenly. The most horrible feeling came over me and the sweat I’d worked up became cold against my skin. I sat on the floor and tried to figure out exactly what was wrong with me. I wasn’t injured in any way. Nothing hurt. But, I felt sick. I started to stretch, slowly lowering my heart rate while I racked my brain for an explanation to why I felt so bad. It was not unusual for me to feel someone else’s pain, but normally I had to be touching them in order to do that. So my theory was that whoever felt so bad, since it wasn’t actually me, must be very close to me emotionally in some way. Someone was trying to reach out to me.
I decided it was time to practice some of what I’d learned from Mathias. I lay flat of my back on the floor and began to breathe deeply. As my heart rate began to slow more and more, I reached out with my mind to those I cared for. I thought of Kat, and knew she was alright. Just as quickly as the thought had entered my mind, I let it go so I could move on to the next. I thought of my father. He was fine. Normally, he would have been my first thought, but my father could take care of himself. And besides, I had the impression that whoever might be responsible for the feeling I had was close by.
I sat up and started running for the phone only seconds before it rang.
“Richard?” I panted when I answered the call. “Richard, what’s wrong?”
He didn’t answer for a full minute and I was becoming more and more alarmed.
“Are you alright?”
“How fast can you get here?” His voice was faint, and it scared me.
“You’re still at work?” I knew the answer, but had to ask the question in order to be sure.
“Yes.”
“I’m on my way.”
I was dressed in the black bodysuit I normally trained in, and there was no time to change. Richard needed me. So much for not being seen in public wearing spandex. Quickly, I ran upstairs, jumped into my boots and strapped on the rest of my blades. In a matter of minutes, I was on my way to the garage at a full run. Richard hadn’t said what was wrong, but he didn’t have to. The fact that he’d called me so late sounding the way he did was enough.
Alfred’s vehicle of preference was parked closer to the house than mine. I opened the first garage door and took his key from its hiding place. Alfred drove an armor plated Hummer. It was black with silver accents,
real
silver accents.
It was also loaded for bear with the largest amount of firepower I’d ever seen crammed into one vehicle. I knew how to use guns. I just preferred a blade. However, something in Richard’s voice told me I might be needing both.
Lightning tore through the sky like the crack of an almighty whip. By the time I’d reached the end of the driveway, the bottom fell out.
Rain pounded down with a vengeance and I had to stop to find the switch that turned on the wipers. I had only driven the Hummer a handful of times and wasn’t as familiar with it as I probably should have been. Hitting the wrong button in Alfred’s Hummer could be deadly. In fact, there was a switch underneath the steering wheel that if flipped, would launch grenades! Behind the seats, underneath the floorboard in a hidden compartment was where he kept the BFG, along with several other heavy artillery pieces.
The weapon was actually a modified plasma gun of some sort. It blew holes the size of a small crater in anything it was fired at. Of course, that didn’t do me any good. It was much too big for me to use with any skill. I had no clue what BFG actually stood for, I just called it the big fucking gun.
Beside that there was another grenade launcher and a flame thrower. Alfred had removed what should have been a second row of seats in order to store more weapons underneath the floorboard. If I had time to remove it from the back, the flame thrower was plausible, but the others were useless to me when speed was required.
There were smaller weapons back there, but I didn’t have time to look for them, or any place to conceal them. Going in guns blazing might not be an option once I got there. In all honesty, I had no idea what to expect once I arrived. All I knew was that someone had messed with Richard and that was a stupid thing to do. If he was hurt, I’d kill them. End of story.
The windows were dark enough to conceal any other weapons that might have been lurking about, and it was a good damn thing. Alfred looked like he’d packed to go off to war. I was driving around with more pieces of illegal weaponry than some third world countries.
Alfred was one of the Hunters who killed without mercy. If you were a werewolf, you were dead, period. When he had taken on a pack of werewolves back on Terra years ago, it had made the news. He was described as having wiped them out, ‘as if he were fueled by the very wrath of God.’
In some circles I was known as The Silver Bullet, or Quicksilver. The lycans called me Death. But Death could be sweet, a release of sorts. And to those in misery, Death could be merciful. But Alfred was known as Vengeance. And that night, I had borrowed his truck.
—
The drive to Richard’s office normally took an hour. I made it through the driving rain in forty five minutes. I wanted to conceal my arrival as much as possible, but still have the truck in range in case I needed anything. I pulled to the back of the science building. Richard’s office was on the second floor. I didn’t drive directly into the parking lot, but pulled into the edge of the woods that surrounded the University.
I stepped out into the rain and was instantly soaked. As soon as I closed my door, a large shape darted past the front of the truck. Whatever it was, it was fast. I tore off through the woods, smacking tree limbs out of the way and slipping on wet leaves. Due to my genetic alterations, I could keep up with most anything. But a bigger animal with longer legs would unfortunately always have the upper hand. Much to my advantage, I knew those woods. I had spent many hours walking through them with Richard while he cataloged the local plant life for some of his classes.
I cut through a side trail as fast as I could. My boots slipped in the mud and I fought the urge to curse. The rain concealed much of the noise I would have been making, but the sudden appearance of foul language would definitely have given away my position. The rain also helped to conceal the scent of the other creature that was tearing off through the woods. There was no way to tell for sure if it was a werewolf without seeing it.
At a full run I took a flying leap at a low hanging tree branch and swung myself up just in time to be out of sight of whatever it was I’d been chasing. I blinked heavily against the downpour, focusing on the shadowy figure that had just emerged from the other side of the small clearing where I was hiding.
It was definitely a man. A very tall man. He was dressed all in black and his head was concealed by a hood that fit tightly over him. My muscles tensed as he walked underneath the tree I was perched in. The leaves concealed me very well and unless he looked up, he would never know what was about to hit him. I watched him look from side to side anxiously. He wasn’t stupid. He knew someone had been following him, but couldn’t tell where they had gone. I decided not to leave him in suspense.
I flung myself from the limb and tackled the tall stranger. I landed on his shoulders and wrapped my legs over the top of his arms, locking my feet into place against his sides. The momentum of my fall helped to carry me as I contracted every muscle in my body and flung him head over heels to the ground.