“You don’t believe in things that you can’t see and touch? I know better than that. You believe in God, and love. What else would you call love but magic of some sort?”
“True enough, but you can feel both of those things.”
“You can feel God?”
“Of course. What else would you call a comforting touch when you’re in need but the hand of God?”
“I should never argue religion with a poet. You’re right, though. I hadn’t thought of it quite that way.”
I poured Richard another coke and rum, got myself a beer out of the fridge, and located a bag of pretzels.
“So what will you do?” I asked after a while.
“I don’t know. There’s really not much I can do. I don’t have any proof that she started those rumors.”
“That’s just wrong. There has to be someone you can complain to.”
“Na, they all believe it.”
“Shit,” I said hotly.
“What it all amounts to is, my ass is chapped and they’ve cornered the market on Chap Stick.”
I laughed. “Nothing like standard issue sandpaper underwear.”
For the first time since he’d arrived I saw Richard smile.
“So what have you been up to?”
“Ah, not a whole lot,” I sort of stuttered.
“Oh, Lilith,” he sounded so disappointed, but I knew Richard couldn’t read my mind. “You’ve been toasting marshmallows haven’t you?”
I laughed. One of Richard’s favorite expressions was, “Don’t toast marshmallows over the fire that will most likely consume you.” I didn’t even bother denying that he was right.
I just didn’t offer any further explanation.
Richard stayed until late that afternoon. By the time I watched him drive away, he had calmed down significantly from when he’d first knocked on my door. At least he was in a better mood. It did me good to see him, but a few minutes after he left I started to feel more depressed than angry about all of the rumors that were circulating. I just couldn’t imagine why people would say such terrible things about such a nice man. Richard was a sweet guy, but he was truly oblivious to a lot of what went on around him. He paid attention to certain people, like me. But that was only because we’d been friends for so long and he was interested to know what was going on with me.
If a student
was
interested in him, they’d have to show up naked at his office for him to take the hint. Subtlety did not work well with him. He just didn’t pay close enough attention.
Richard was very much focused on his work. He loved science. That was his thing and he did it well. He and Alfred were very similar creatures, but to have pointed that out to either of them would piss them off.
What bothered me even more was the fact that
I
was now a part of the whole sordid mess. I had never so much as
thought
of having any kind of sexual contact with Richard. He was like a brother to me. What was really insulting was the fact that people didn’t think either one of us was capable of just being friends with someone of the opposite sex. As I walked through the house and turned off the lights I came to the conclusion that I could worry about it as much as I liked, but it wouldn’t change a damn thing. It simply wasn’t worth shortening my life span over.
I walked upstairs and decided a bubble bath was just what I needed.
—
Bubbles were floating so close to the rim I was afraid that when I got in it might splash over the sides. I put a CD of some of my favorite R & B music in the small player that sat on my vanity and began to strip.
After lighting the vanilla candles spaced throughout the room, I placed the tip of my toes tentatively in the water. It was just right. I had just stepped in when my heard a beeping noise. I stepped back out of the tub and went over to the toilet where the noise was coming from. It was my communicator. I must have dropped it there when I’d been so sick a few nights ago. Normally I didn’t answer any calls when I was about to take a bath, but I was afraid it might be important.
I quickly covered myself with a towel and pressed the button.
Marco appeared before me looking concerned. I’m not sure who I had been expecting to see, but it wasn’t him. Just seeing his handsome face made my heart jump almost painfully. He was lounging casually in the large overstuffed chair I’d seen in his apartment. From the angle of his image, he’d placed the communicator on the ottoman in front of him.
For the first time I was truly appreciative of the fact that my communicator was capable of receiving color images. Marco sat before me in his red silk pajamas with the matching robe open to reveal his torso. I watched for a few moments as the ridged muscles of his stomach expanded and contracted with every breath. His hologram wasn’t as good as the real thing, but it was close.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
Something must have been wrong for him to skip his usual flirtatious greeting.
“I’m fine,” I answered the miniature image of Marco that stood on my vanity.
He looked at me for a moment as if he were sizing me up before smiling slightly.
“So, what are you doing?”
“We’re going to have a conversation now?” I teased.
“Might as well. There aren’t too many other options for you and I.” He winked.
“I was just about to take a bath.”
“Please, don’t let me stop you.”
I carried the communicator, along with the smiling hologram of Marco and placed it on the rim of the tub. While I did this I said, “I thought you didn’t have a communicator anymore.”
“And what did you think I did with it?”
“Well, I just assumed that you’d destroyed it. I mean, can’t they trace your calls?”
“Not if I know how to jam the signal.”
I almost asked him to close his eyes while I got in the tub, but felt it would be pointless. Besides, he’d already seen this show. As soon as the thought crossed my mind I could hear Marco saying, “sometimes re-runs aren’t so bad.”
As I lowered myself into the hot water my skin tingled slightly. It was hotter than I normally liked it, but I needed to relax. My muscles had been tense ever since I’d had that awful vision of Marco’s injury. I curled up and rested my forehead against my knees.
“You sure you’re alright?” Marco’s voice was soft and concerned.
I looked up at him and answered, “I was sick a few nights ago.”
“But you’re fine now?”
“Yes. So, you can jam their signal?” I changed the subject.
I didn’t want to share with Marco what my father had told me about his attack.
“Yes. But I still use this type of communication sparingly.”
“And this was an emergency?” I inquired.
“Yes, it was. I had to see that you were alright. A few nights ago when you say you were sick ... you were suddenly screaming through my head. I didn’t exactly hear your voice, I felt you. You were calling out to me in a way I’d never felt before. So, my question to you is, why did you call?”
I rested my forehead against my knees. I couldn’t look at Marco and lie to him. “It must have been something I ate,” I mumbled.
“Is that really what you’re telling yourself, or just what you’re telling me?”
I groaned.
“Come on, Red. That was a good bit more than bad sushi.”
Finally I responded, “I had a bad dream ... a haunted vision. It would disturb you if I shared it and it’s something that I’d rather not re-live.”
His image grew very still for a moment and his brow knit in concentration.
“Of the past or of the future?”
“The past,” I whispered.
“I guess you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”
“I’m sorry, Marco. I just don’t want that in my head again.”
“I understand. There are a lot of things I’ve seen that I wish I hadn’t.” He sighed. “Red, I can’t leave you on a bad note like this. How was your visit with Sam?”
I was glad for the change in subject, but surprised that he didn’t already know the answer to that question.
“You mean he didn’t tell you?”
“Sure. He reported back that you were safe and all was well. He also made it very clear he was not my spy and if I wanted to know more I could ask you.”
“I knew I liked him.” I laughed.
I shared with Marco most everything. Of course I left out our intimate conversations about my life and the fact that I’d seen Sam naked. Marco laughed when I told him about Kat meeting Sam. That also brought something to mind I had wondered, but was afraid to ask Sam.
“Marco, does Sam keep a harem?”
During my week long visit, Marco had told me that Bade Garren used to keep a harem when he was still a member of the pack. Of course, not every pack member is allowed such a privilege. Bade was at one time Marco’s second in command, his beta wolf. Normally only the alpha keeps a harem, but it is at his discretion to allow his beta wolf to do so. Marco however, had refused to keep his own harem. He said that natural wolves mate for life and he felt it a shame to be more like animals than they were. I was eager to hear if Sam did the same.
“No, but he could if he wanted to. It’s a long story, but Sam doesn’t have a mate and he hasn’t had for the past ten years.”
I looked a question at his hologram and Marco answered, “He dates, but nothing serious.”
“You mean...?”
“He nails his pack members.”
To my surprise, it didn’t bother me to hear that about Sam. I was relieved to find that I was not possessive of every alpha male I encountered.
Toward the end of my bath and our conversation Marco asked, “So, when does Alfred return?”
“A week, maybe less,” I sighed.
The smile he offered me was kind, but there was something else in his eyes, something I couldn’t make out through the hologram.
“Keep in touch,” he said.
I nodded.
“Goodnight, Red.”
“Goodnight.”
I felt better after talking to him. Once I’d dried off and slid between my red silk sheets, I thought that sleep would surely have no problem finding its way to me. However, I decided to meditate just in case. I didn’t want to end up having nightmares about Marco’s attack.
Once I had entered the place in my mind where I could release my worries, I began to do so. Gradually, the key appeared in the lock of the elaborately carved door like it had every time before.
When I was safely inside ‘my room’, as I called it, I heard Mathias’ voice.
“You must have been a moth in a past life,”
he said sarcastically.
I didn’t need to ask what he was referring to. Yes, I tended to play with fire when I shouldn’t. Marco was hot and, like a moth to the flame, I was drawn to him.
“I’m not going to stop talking to him, Mathias.”
“And I am not saying that you should, only that you should
make up your mind.”
“This from the man who was rumored to have had
how
many
lovers?”
“That is beside the point,”
he said indignantly.
“No darling, that’s exactly the point. Your blood flows through my veins. I am after all, the power of The Seducer in living form, am I not?”
“What is your point?”
“My point is that I’m too much like you to ever make up my mind so easily. So don’t go lecturing me about what choices to make.”
“Hit a nerve did I?”
“Yes.”
“You should know by now, child, that I would never
deliberately hurt you. I am only suggesting that you might
find it less painful if you saw less of him. But, if that is not
what you want.... “
“I don’t know what I want. But seeing Marco less is not on the top of my list.”
“You have little choice, my dear. You know what he
wants.”
I also knew that Mathias wasn’t referring to sex. Marco wanted things from me that I was not willing to give.
Truthfully, I didn’t know if I would ever be. I wasn’t exactly in a position to be the full time lover of an alpha werewolf, not to mention help lead his pack.
“Didn’t you know? I have a special gift for doomed relationships.”
“Something else that you must have inherited from me.”
His voice was kind and it made me smile.
“It will get better right?”
“Yes. I promise.”
“I suppose there’s no point in just asking you what will happen, is there?”
“No. Besides, it would not help. If I told you what would
lead up to certain events, there are things that you would
change, for the worse. However, there are other things, that
might nearly kill you, but you would not want to miss what
will lead to those events.”
“Damn, I hate wizards. Never a straight answer.”
“You could not handle a straight answer.”
“Are you trying to scare me?”
“No, I am trying to protect you.”
“Indulge me. Answer one thing, just one thing, with a straight answer.”
“Fine, but you asked for it. Choose your question carefully,
and be certain that you really want to know.”
“Should I break off all contact with Marco? Is that what you are trying to get me to do?”
“No.”
“Then why would you even make that suggestion?”
“You said one question. I answered one question.”
I was silent for what felt like several minutes before I heard his voice again.
“To break off contact with him would be to kill a part of
yourself that has just begun to live. This is not to say where
your destiny lies nor what you should do.”
When I still didn’t respond he continued,
“When I
suggested that you see him less, I did not mean forever.”
“That’s all you ever had to say.”
“Learn to read between the lines.”
“Learn to speak in something beside riddles.”
—
The next morning I found the blue button on my communicator flashing. Since I’d heard from Marco the night before, there were only two other people who might have left me a message. When I pressed the button, it was Alfred that appeared.
He said simply, “Check the transporter.”
Well, that was weird, but he didn’t appear to have been upset. So, I took my time putting on my robe and a pair of fuzzy bedroom slippers before making my way downstairs.