At ten o’clock the band’s manager arrived. It was lucky he had his own key to the house because, after the fifth racket had kicked off, Jax had disconnected the doorbell.
“These are for you.” He handed Noelle a bag of her belongings. “What the fuck is going on?”
“You’ve been to see Gabriel?” She asked, peering in the bag to see her phone, purse, charger and a few other items.
“I’ve just come from there. He’s in a complete state. What the hell happened?”
“What happened is that bastard beat Noelle black and blue.” Jax snarled. “Watch your tone John. She’s not to blame here.”
“And you got involved how?” John wasn’t backing down.
“He sent her into subspace and then panicked and called me to come and clean up the mess. She crashed yesterday afternoon. That’s why we went out. She needed a time out.”
“What a fucking mess.” Shaking his head, John went through to the kitchen and fired up the coffee machine. “You two get your arses in here. We need to put together a statement. The paps are having a field day out there with the speculation.”
“Why didn’t Gabriel write the statement?” Jax demanded, following him through. “He’s the lead.”
“I’m not even sure Gabriel’s on the same planet as the rest of us right now.” John replied wearily. “We’re on our own until little miss Santa-pants here goes back to him.”
“I’m not going back to him.” Noelle said,
ignoring the dig at her name, her face pale. “I’m done. He beat me, John. You want to see my bruises? I can’t put myself through that again.”
“Fuck.” John sat down heavily on the nearest chair and stared at her. “Fuck fuck
fuck fuck fuck. Well that complicates things.”
“He’s right.” Jax sat down abruptly too. “You can’t announce that until you’ve had a chance to speak to him face to face. If he hears from the news that you’ve broken up, there’s no knowing what stupidity he’ll get up to.”
“Well first and foremost, we need to put a statement out saying that you two aren’t screwing.” He started rummaging through his satchel and then stopped. “You aren’t, are you?”
“We’re just friends.” They both said at the same time and John shook his head.
“Whatever.” Dragging out a notepad and pen, he slapped it on the table and gave them both a steady look. “How do we want to spin this? Are we even admitting that you and Gabriel are, or were, an item?”
“Could we get away with denying it?” She asked meekly and he shrugged.
“We can try, but the pictures are pretty damning. That hair of yours is just too distinctive.”
“But no-one saw us actually doing anything.” She persisted. “I could ar
gue that I was at the Darkness Falls concert in a mask so my kids didn’t know I was there. It’s not out of the bounds of possibility that I could be friends with celebrities. The parents at the school think I’m dating a music producer.”
“People aren’t stupid Noelle.” He shook his head. “You turned up alone in a car with the lead singer of the most notorious rock band of this generation. You left with teeth marks on your neck
, with the same lead singer. I don’t think anyone is going to believe you were there innocently.”
“I’d forgotten about the mark.” Damn Gabriel and his possessive idiocy.
“Fine. If we can’t deny it, we have to admit it, but I don’t want anything to do with it. Excuse me.” She got up and walked out and John turned to Jax.
“What’s that all about?”
“She’s a primary school teacher, John.” Jax gave him a look that told him he was being dense. “You think the school is going to let her keep her job when they find out she’s been shagging bad boy rock stars in public places while millions of viewers wait?”
“Oh.” John’s face softened. “Well that sucks balls and no mistake. What’s she going to do?”
Jax shrugged helplessly. “I’ll take care of her for as long as she needs me to. It’s the least I can do. I should have stepped in sooner and we all know it.”
“And what about the band?”
John asked, concerned. “You and Gabe tight?”
“We are at the moment. He’s not in the right headspace to take care of her right now and he knows it. But what happens when she tells him it’s over is anyone’s guess.
” He rocked back on his chair. “She admitted yesterday over dinner that he’s wildly jealous of our friendship. They had a row about it last Friday night.”
“You like her don’t you?” John’s eyes narrowed.
“Who wouldn’t?” He wasn’t going to lie. “She’s a remarkable woman.”
“And what do you think that’s going to do to the band if you start dating his ex?” He got up and started pacing.
“For fuck’s sake, Jax. Can’t you think with your head instead of your dick for once?”
“John, I’m richer than my wildest dreams. Some things are more important than fame and fortune. If she needs me, I’m there for her.”
“You’re contracted to do another two albums.” John reminded him. “If you fuck this up, you won’t be rich for much longer.”
“They’ll have their two albums.” Jax said stubbornly. “We’ve already laid down enough new tracks the last few weeks to make them up. They just need
remastering.” The legs of his chair connected hard with the tiled floor. “I’m not arguing with you about this, John. She’s special. If Gabriel wanted her, he should have taken better care of her. You didn’t see the state she was in when I brought her here. He needs help.”
“Fine.”
The manager sat down again. “But we are going to talk about this, and soon. Right now we need to get this damn statement out.”
Noelle didn’t go out with them to give the statement, but she did watch it on TV. The story they were going with was that she and Darkness Falls were going through a rocky patch in their relationship and Jax was acting as mediator. She was here with the lead singer’s blessing and full knowledge and there was no affair happening behind his back. As stories went it was perfectly believable. The journalists seemed disappointed, but eventually the crowd dispersed. As afternoon moved on into early evening, she started to relax slightly.
Then the school rang. “I’ve been suspended until further notice.” She said shakily to Jax, setting her phone on the counter in the kitchen. “They’re
trying to set up a meeting of the school board, but in the meantime they don’t want me anywhere near the building.”
He winced. “I’m sorry Princess. Can they really sack you over this?”
“I don’t know. I need to read my contract, but it’s a private school. ‘Misconduct’ covers a lot of things.”
“We can fight it.” He promised. “We’ll find you a solicitor, a good one, someone that specialises in employment tribunals.”
“What’s the point?” She shrugged morosely. “Would you want to keep working at a place that had tried to sack you and where everyone knows your private business?”
“Noelle, the world knows your business.” He reminded her, gently but firmly. “You have to get used to the idea. That’s the dark side of celebrity and that’s what you are now.”
“I’m not a celebrity.” She sounded horrified at the idea. “I haven’t done anything to be famous for.”
“Neither have a lot of celebrities.” He persisted, trying not to let his amusement at her lack of self-awareness show. “The point is that people are interested in you. They want to know how you snagged the great Darkness Falls. They want to know how you got to be friends with Jax Wilding, the outrageously sexy lead guitarist from everyone’s favourite band.
It’s human nature. Girls will want to be you. Men will want to have you, because you now have the sheen of glamour associated with public recognition.”
“That’s a depressing thought.” She sat down on one of the chairs and he reached to flick the kettle on, thinking she could do with something to calm her.
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I’m suspended on full pay until the meeting
, so I’ll have a couple of weeks to find something else.” She forced a smile that looked more like a grimace. “I heard there’s a certain narcissistic guitarist with a vacancy for a chef on his personal staff.”
“When can you start?” He winked at her and she managed a laugh.
“Right now, as long as the salary is enough to cover all my expenses.”
“You can have a million a year.” He declared expansively, knowing they were both just joking. “Will that do?”
“I’m not sure.” She demurred teasingly. “I’ll have to think about it.”
“You do that.” He
made her a cup of tea and sat opposite her, across the table. “Seriously Noelle, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never thought about being anything other than a teacher.” She admitted.
“Well you just take all the time you need to think.” He gave her a steady look. “Don’t worry about paying bills or anything like that. I’ve got you for as long as you need it.”
“I can’t take your money
, Jax.” She said stubbornly and this time he did smile.
“I’m not giving it to you. You’ll earn it with cooking.”
“Fine.” She shook her head, but smiled. “I was thinking...one of the parents saw me with Gabriel and she recognised him. What if she goes to the press? How damaging will it be if his identity is revealed?”
“I don’t think it’ll be damaging
per se.” He shrugged. “I think Gabe just liked the mystique. It was a marketing tool.”
“Are you guys going to be okay? He’s not going to take it out on you when I tell him I’m not going back to him?”
“I can handle it.” Jax reached across and took her hand. “Don’t you even worry about it for a moment, Princess. You’ve got your own stuff to deal with, without stressing about mine.”
“You’re a good man
, Jax.” She smiled and squeezed his hand.
“I like to think so.” He winked and startled a laugh from her. “What say we call in a takeaway and watch a movie?”
“I think that sounds perfect.” Life might be pretty low, but it could always be worse.
Over the next couple of days, the media furore died down slightly. The press had gotten bored of nothing happening and eventually a political scandal swept the nation up in hysteria about something other than Darkness Falls. Gabriel had gone to ground, but he kept calling. Jax eventually unplugged the phone again, and silenced all the mobiles in the house.
On Tuesday night they sat in the kitchen eating dinner. Noelle had cooked and she was looking a lot brighter than she had for days. Clearly being in the kitchen and in control of her surroundings had done her some good.
“When do you think it’s safe to let me go home?” She asked as she dished up the food, and Jax covered his flinch well.
“Probably tomorrow.”
He admitted. “You’ve perked up a bit and you’re not crying so much all the time. You don’t have to though. You can stay as long as you want.”
“Thank you, but I need to get back to normality.” She sat down and pensively touched her cutlery, stroking a fingertip down the fork that probably cost more than most items in her house. “I know everything’s changed. Nothing
will ever be the same again, but I need to go back to my own life, to my own place. I need to learn how to be me again.”
“I can understand that.” He nodded. “I’
ll have to call you a lot though, if I can’t get across to see you, at least for the next week or so. And you’re not leaving this house until you promise to call if you get low, or start up with the shakes and panic attacks again.”
“I promise.” She finally picked up her fork. She was both dreading and looking forward to going home. There were memories there of her and Gabriel...that phone call, the
interlude on the sofa, the copper pans he’d admired so much when he first came to dinner. It was going to break her heart, but she was losing her grip on her world again. There were things there that would comfort her, ground her, bring her back to herself. Bring her back to the Noelle that existed before Gabriel. She was right – her life had been broken in two when Gabriel had crashed into it. Wherever she went from here, whatever she decided to do, there would always be pre and post Gabriel. She would never be the same person again, but she could try and return to herself, as best she could. There was nothing else to do.
Jax drove her home on Wednesday and carefully shadowed her about the house in silence as she tried not to cry. “Breathe.” He murmured softly when she stepped into the kitchen, and she stopped. Putting her hands over her mouth and nose as the waiter had shown her, she closed her eyes and started to count, trying to head off the panic that was clawing its way out of her throat. Jax put a cool hand on the back of her neck and she stilled, instantly calmed. “You’re not alone.” He guessed at the cause of the fear. “I’m just a phone call away. I can be here within an hour and you can call me any time. Don’t fear the emptiness, Princess. Use it to make you stronger.”
“Don’t fear the emptiness?” She
retorted acerbically. “When did you turn into the Zen master?”
He grinned. “You love it. Don’t
lie to me, Princess. My special brand of calm really does it for you.”
“Does what to me, specifically?”