Obsession (Stalker #1) (5 page)

I text Tiff to let her know I’m on my way to pick Izzy up. We both live in the west end of Toronto in Etobicoke. It’s a lot nicer than downtown, in my opinion, and I don’t want to run into any residents from The Shelter, especially when I have my daughter. I try to keep my work life and my home life separate. Until last night.

Fuckin’ fantastic night.
I’ve never wanted anyone more than I wanted Abby. I’ve never tasted anyone so sweet before. I’m pissed at myself for spending five years of my life with Tiff.
That bitch.
Four years ago, when I told her I wanted a divorce, Tiffany freaked the fuck out. She lost her ever lovin’ mind. I tried to calm her down and I’m not exactly sure how it happened, but we ended up fucking and that’s when she got pregnant. Vulnerable. That’s what I was. I was looking for an escape from reality. It probably had something to do with the death of my parents. They had just died that past winter in a head on collision and I was trying to cope with the loss.

We were not getting along for quite some time and she was pressuring me to marry her. I loved her, but wasn’t in love with her and because we had been together for a year and a half, I figured we might as well. After one year, I couldn’t stand her anymore. A high maintenance pain in the ass is what the fuck she turned into. She was most likely always this way, but I chose to ignore it. I think she knew the end was coming and stopped taking her birth control even though she never even wanted kids. Yep, this bitch trapped my ass and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I wasn’t about to stay with her because she was pregnant, either.

I’m not one who believes that people should stay together for the sake of the kids. I firmly believe you should live your life to be happy. I love Izzy with all my heart, but hate that Tiff uses her as a weapon to get to me. Most women would be grateful to have their child’s daddy be present, look after the kid, and pay child support, which I do. She didn’t get pregnant by herself, even though she was tricky about it.

Ladies, having a baby with a man you want to keep doesn’t guarantee anything. I think Tiff realizes what she’s done and is now completely unhappy with her life. Oh well, fuck her.

You made your bed and now you get to lie in it.

I’m nearing her apartment, which isn’t too far from my house. She can only afford this apartment because of the insane amount of child support I pay for Izzy. I’m not complaining, but it would be nice to see her use the money for shit that Izzy needs. I usually end up getting Izzy all kinds of extra stuff which I keep at my house.

Two nights a week and every other weekend, I get Isabelle. It’s not as much as I’d like, but since they don’t live far and Tiffany wants her life back, she often asks if I can look after Izzy. Unless I’m working, I always say yes. Isabelle is the perfect three year old little girl and I’m positive she’s a genius. Hopefully, one day I will get to have her with me full time. But, that is probably a long, long, ways off from now.

I arrive at Tiff’s place and she buzzes me up. I reach her door and knock. Tiff opens the door and I’m just about to say hi when I hear a high pitch squeal. “Daddy!” Izzy comes running over to me and I scoop her up, kissing her cute little face while she laughs and laughs.
God, I love this kid.

“We go to your house, Daddy?” Izzy asks.

“Yes, baby. We are going to my house.”

Izzy has dark hair just past her tiny shoulders and jade green eyes. She is absolutely beautiful. Tiffany looks sour, but it’s kind of become her normal look.

“You ok, Tiff?” I ask.

“I will be when the two of you leave. Here’s her backpack and her stuff. You know, I don’t mean to be rude, Jake, but I have things to do and I need to go.”

As if I was planning on staying. “
Ok, Izzy, say bye to Mom because we’re outta here!” Izzy looks to her mom and waves saying, “Bye-bye, Mom.” I love that Izzy does not mind leaving her mother’s house. She’s a total Daddy’s girl and I love it.

“Jake, I’m taking her to my mother’s tomorrow and will pick her up in the morning, if you don’t mind.”

I know that sounded like a question, but it wasn’t. I try not to argue in front of Izzy.

“It’s fine. Text me a time so I can have Izzy ready.”

She agrees and we are outta there. I carry Izzy back to the Jeep and buckle her into her car seat. “Daddy, new car!”

“Yes, baby girl, Daddy got a new car.” She giggles in delight. She will love it when it’s warmer out next year and we can take the top down. I throw her stuff in the back and we head to my place.

It’s a small bungalow in a nicer area of Etobicoke. I don’t need much space and the proximity to downtown Toronto is perfect for me to travel to work. There is even some green lawn in the front, and the backyard is a fair size.

I bought this house about three years ago after the divorce was settled. I received some inheritance, which is the only way I could even afford to live in this part of Toronto. The house isn’t big at all. It has three bedrooms, two and a half baths, and has a fairly good sized finished basement. I’ve turned that into Izzy’s play area and that’s also where my dog, Ozzy, lives if I can’t be home.

We get home and I begin to unlock the door and I hear him coming. Since I didn’t realize I wouldn’t be home last night, Ozzy didn’t go into his doggie den in the basement. I open the door and he comes barrelling towards us.

Ozzy is a pure bred German shepherd, whom I rescued about two years ago from the Humane Society. He’s five years old and he loves Izzy. Ozzy tries to stop his paws from sliding on the hardwood and Izzy is clapping her hands, saying, “Dozzy!”
These two kill me
. They love each other so much, it’s uncanny and I’ve never seen anything like it. Ozzy slides into Izzy almost knocking her little body over and he starts kissing her, and she’s hugging him. It’s about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

“Hey you guys, Ozzy probably needs to go outside to pee. Izzy, can you open up the door for him?” She loves this dog and does everything she can to do stuff with him and for him. “Yes, Daddy. Dozzy, let’s go pee-pee.” Izzy goes over to the sliding door and lets him outside.

God, I totally was not thinking about him when I was with Abby last night. Poor guy. I gather his empty bowls and Izzy wants to help by putting his food in his bowl. She carries the cup of food trying not to spill it. I’m filling the water bowl just as Ozzy comes barrelling back inside and runs right into Izzy. They both end up sliding all over the floor and the dog food goes flying. Izzy is laughing her head off like it’s the best thing to happen all day, and Ozzy is giving her little kisses and trying to eat up the spilled dog food. These two are a sight if I’ve ever seen one.

It’s about lunch time and I need to feed Izzy so I ask her what she wants.

“Girl cheese, peas.”

This is usually her standard order, and she would eat grilled cheese all the time if I let her.

“Girl cheese, coming right up. You keep an eye on Ozzy for me while I’m cooking, ok?” Izzy likes to help a lot, so I give her little things to do to make her happy. I love seeing my girl happy. I’m making us some grilled cheese sandwiches and my thoughts drift to Abby and I wonder what she’s doing.

Did she regret last night? Should I call her? Text her? NO!!!
Fuck me, why am I acting like a chick?!
She said she would call or text me tonight, so I’ll just enjoy my time with my kid and my dog. I call Izzy to the kitchen for lunch and get her sandwich set up, her juice, and grab the ketchup. Izzy rather enjoys ketchup and likes to lick it off her sandwich, and of course, gets it all over her face. I grab my phone and take a quick picture because you can never capture too many moments like this. I might as well check for messages. There are no texts from Abby.
I will not be that dude who acts like a clingy chick! NO!

I catch Ozzy licking all the ketchup off of Izzy’s face. Man, these two kill me! I know most people can’t hack dog kisses, but I’ve always loved dogs and found that dogs love their humans more than they love themselves.

I wash off Izzy’s face and put her down for a little nap. She looks beat from all the excitement. “We’ll take Ozzy to the dog park after your nap.” I give her a kiss and tuck her in while Ozzy sneaks in her room, jumping up on her bed. Ok, I guess everyone is going to have a little nap.

I grab a quick shower and then settle on the couch. I must have dozed off.

I get in from the grocery store and I am struggling with my bags.

“Abby, let me get the door for you.” I know immediately it’s Kevin.

“Oh, thanks, Kev. I’m just going to set them inside and come back out for a smoke.”

I smoke with Kevin often. He’s a cop and he often comes by The Shelter whenever there is a ruckus, and when I say ruckus, I mean, when something bad happens and people are hurt or injured. It happens more than you think. I come back out and he’s already sitting on the front porch lighting up. I sit beside him and do the same.

“Hey Kev, you off this weekend?” I inhale the smoke that fills my lungs and give a nice long exhale.

“Yeah, I’m off and go back in tomorrow night.” Kev works twelve hour shifts as a cop and rotates from days to nights every few weeks.

“Well, it’s good to know you are keeping the area safe, my friend.”

He looks at me and it’s a weird look. “Abby, can we talk for a minute about Jake?”

What in the fuck? How does he know about Jake? Or his name? I know he sees the confusion on my face.

“This is an old house, Abby, and when one is screaming like they are being murdered, everyone can hear it.”
Oh my shit, how embarrassing!
I’m positive my face is red. “I also ran into Jake this morning and introduced myself. It took him a minute to recognize me since I wasn’t in uniform. He also informed me that you two would try to keep it down.”

“Kev, I’m sorry you had to hear all that…” I look away while still smoking.

“Abby, I almost busted down your door with my gun.”

I start to howl.

“What’s so funny?”

“Why in the ever-loving-fuck would you bust down my door?”

“Because it sounded like you were being murdered. Is that not a good enough reason?”

I’m still laughing. “Kev, I appreciate that you’re a cop and all that, but please don’t forget that I’m practically a trained ninja and I’ve got skills, baby! If someone were trying to kill me, I’m sure it wouldn’t sound like the best orgasm of my life.”

His face goes red. He’s not used to my foul mouth and is always surprised by whatever comes out of it, even though I’ve lived here almost two years. He’s pretty cool and knows I smoke a little pot and he doesn’t bust me. There are bigger problems in the world than a little pot smoking. Hell, one night we were drinking on the porch and he even asked me for a hit. We sat and giggled for quite some time. Kev acts like a big brother, but I think he has a little crush on me. I’ve seen him bring girls home, but he’s never dated anyone seriously for as long as I’ve been here.

Smiling, Kevin says, “Look, you know you’re like a little sister to me and you’ve grown on me like a bad fungus, so I get to worry about you now! Abby, do you really think it’s smart to fuck one of your supervisors?”

Duh, of course, it’s not smart. “
Kev, of course not. But when have you known me to do anything the smart way? Jake and I have had this ‘thing’ where the tension has been building and last night it just happened. It wasn’t planned or anything, but I’m also glad it did. I’ve liked Jake for a long time now. I didn’t think anything would ever happen between us, but it did, and it was amazing.”

Kev scrunches up his face. “Look, I’m not your father and have no right to tell you how to live your life. I’ve never interfered before, but getting involved with someone you work with is almost always a bad, bad fuckin’ idea. If shit doesn’t work out, then what? You are stuck working with that person until one of you loses your shit and needs to transfer or something. Trust me, I’ve seen it all before. I might have even been there once or twice myself.”

He’s right.
SHIT!!!
I never look before I leap.

“Hey, Kevin, I appreciate you watching out for me. You are not my father, and quite frankly, I don’t need one. I’ve been fine thus far in my life and I haven’t even a scratch on me,” I laugh. He shakes his head at me. Why the fuck does everyone shake their goddamned heads at me whenever I say something? I swear, nobody takes me seriously. Oh well, fuck them all.

We finish our smokes and put them in the little butt can on the porch. “Kev, I’ve got the girls coming over tonight, so I’m going to go clean up and get ready for them. You are more than welcome to come by for a drink before we head out.”

He looks at me thoughtfully. “Sure, Abby, I’ll come by as long as you make your buffalo dip.” He licks his lips.

“You know it, baby. I always got to feed my bitches and you before the drinking commences!”

Laughing, Kev asks, “What time will the girls be here?”

“I’m sure you will hear them with the walls being so thin,” I say with a wink and a grin. I get up to head back inside.

“Hey, I was wondering if you’ve seen Brody around?”

“Huh? Who in the fuck is Brody?” I ask him.

Kev shakes his head again. “He’s the other dude that lives here, Abby. I think he’s some kind of IT guy or something? I’m not sure. He’s really quiet and keeps to himself.”

“Nope, haven’t seen him at all, to tell you the truth. He lives here? Upstairs?” I wasn’t really aware of someone else living here!

“Uh, yeah, Abs, for about six months now. You were probably on nights or something and I just figured you two had probably met by now.”

“Uh, nope, but whatever. I’ve got shit to do and dip to make. See ya later, Kev!”

I mosey into my first floor apartment. The other two apartments are upstairs. The house is pretty big, but my apartment is probably the biggest out of the three. Kevin owns this house and has taken really good care of it. It looks amazing. Everything was renovated before I even got here. I was between places about two years ago and Kev was at The Shelter. We got to talking after an incident while having a smoke and he mentioned he had two apartments for rent. I was down. I went to see them the next day and fell in love with the whole house!

My eyes were no doubt bugged out of my head when he showed me the first floor apartment. He told me it was mine if I wanted it, and I moved in that weekend. We’ve also been friends ever since. He charges me one thousand dollars a month for rent, which is cheap for an apartment like mine, in downtown Toronto. It includes all utilities, laundry and WIFI. How could I turn that down, right?! Plus, he’s a cop so I feel safe knowing that he’s near.

I put my iPod on and find my cleaning playlist. I have a playlist for just about everything. It’s just how I roll. I love to dance while I clean, but I know I have to save some energy for tonight. My mind starts swirling about all things Jake. Nobody has ever made me feel the way he made me feel in one night. How can that be? Am I living a loveless life? I didn’t think I was, but he made me feel like a treasure and he just made me FEEL.
Dammit.

I’m not so good with feelings and not sure how to process this. I mean, we work together, he supervises me on occasion, has an ex-wife and a kid. I have never dated anyone with an ex-wife and a kid before, and I don’t know if I can handle that. I smoke, I drink, I smoke some pot here and there, how can I possibly be allowed near children? Do I have to quit my life and how I’m currently living it? How does he seem so sure anyway?

I’m sure his ex-wife
(I cringe even saying it)
won’t be down with having another woman anywhere near her kid. I’ve seen movies and shit and know how these things play out. It’s never good, that’s for damn sure. Will this relationship earn me the title of Step-Mother?
(I wince)
Nobody likes step-mothers, and I’m positive Disney put a bad rap on step-moms ever since Cinderella. “Step” is such an ugly word, too, and I don’t like it.

But, I’ve always liked Jake…How could I not? He’s fuckin’ deliciously hot, has a good heart, loves his kid, has a job, has a car, and has a house. Most likely, he’s all responsible and shit. It’s like he’s a grown up and not a man child. There are pros and cons to this situation, and quite frankly, thinking about it too much hurts my head.
FUCK IT.
I’m going to bounce this shit off my girls and see what they have to say. This ought to be good.

In the end, my girls and I all support each other in our decisions. It’s how we roll. None of us judges anyone’s life or how they choose to live it, even if the decisions aren’t always the right ones. But shit. That’s life, isn’t it? I’m over thinking this and I know it. I don’t want to miss out on a possibly amazing man. This is why I never look before I leap. I can’t predict the future or what I’d prefer to happen so I suppose my best option is to be open and communicate. I still need to bounce this shit off my girls for good measure.

I wonder what Jake and Isabelle are doing?