Obsession (Steel Brothers Saga Book 2) (11 page)

H
er beautiful mouth
dropped into that oblong shape I had seen so often. She would never understand. I was no hero.

They gave me the damned award—tried to give me the medal, but I didn’t want it—for saving six people that day. I was glad I had saved them. Their lives were worth a hell of a lot more than mine. But every time I dragged another one out, still free of bodily injury myself, I carelessly dumped him on the ground and ran back in, hoping to get my fucking head blown off instead of bringing another one to safety.

The time finally came when Waters and a few others literally held me down and wouldn’t let me go back in for yet another man. Little did they know, I wanted to go in and never come out.

Jade sat next to me—her steely blue eyes that haunted me, the beautiful golden-brown hair that cascaded over her milky shoulders, those ruby-red lips I had kissed so many times—and for the first time in a long time, maybe ever, I was actually glad—fucking
glad
—I hadn’t gotten my head blown off that day.

How I loved her. My mouth wanted to form the words right at the moment and say them.

What would she think if she knew I loved her? She would probably ask how I knew, given the conflicting messages I’d sent her over the last couple months.

“Are you going to say anything, blue eyes?”

She drew her lips into a semi-smile. A forced smile. “I’m not really sure what to say to you, Talon.”

“Say the first thing that came into your mind.”

She arched her eyebrows and shook her head. “What can I say? I’m glad you didn’t die, Talon. Fucking ecstatic, actually. You mean something to me. You may not understand that, but you do. And you mean something to your brothers and Marj. Did you think about what you coming home in a body bag would have done to them? Do you ever think about anyone
but
Talon Steel? Why would you want to die? I don’t understand.”

I didn’t respond. I
couldn’t
respond. She was right on two counts. She didn’t understand, and I hadn’t been thinking about anyone but myself. Truth was, I knew in my heart that the guys and Marj would be better off without me.

She continued, “And honestly? I was surprised.”

That got me. “Why should you be surprised?”

“Because most people have a survival instinct. It’s one thing to go in and rescue people when you care about your men, feel a responsibility toward them. It’s quite another altogether to go in with no regard for your own life.”

The survival instinct.

The fucking survival instinct.

The concept was nothing new to me. God, the things I’d said and done to simply survive, to continue to exist in a nightmare. But after two decades of living with the memories of that horror, my survival instinct had been shot to hell.

Since I couldn’t voice any of this, I again said nothing.

“Really? You’re going to sit there and not respond to me?”

“There’s nothing to say, blue eyes.”

She shook her head. “Fine. At least tell me why you didn’t want this to be national news.”

That was easy. “I didn’t want anyone making a fuss over me about what a selfless act it had been when I knew damned well it wasn’t selfless. It was fucking selfish.”

She slid her hand onto mine. “Talon, whatever your intentions were, the end result was the same, and all those servicemen and their families are beyond grateful.”

Her touch both soothed and agitated me. So much she didn’t understand. “I know. Believe me. I received so many thank-you notes and care packages…” I rolled my eyes.

“And that was a bad thing?”

“Yeah, it was a bad thing, Jade. These people were thanking me, wanting to do things for me, wanting to somehow repay me for saving their loved ones, and all I had been trying to do was get my ass killed.”

“But as I said, the end result was the same. You
saved
those men.”

“Not all men. One was a woman.”

“You saved someone’s mother maybe. That’s a great thing.”

“She was young. No kids.” I heaved a sigh. “Having the local story was bad enough. People came to the house bearing gifts. Produce from their farms, wine, booze, cakes and cookies, and casseroles. It was never-ending. Jonah and Ryan played hosts, and once Marjorie got back from school, she helped as well. I just wanted to be left alone.”

Damn, if it had made national news, the networks would’ve been after me for interviews, the fucking talk shows… I wouldn’t have been able to take it.

I’d told Jade before, and I’d told my brothers countless times. I was no hero.

Jade stood, still holding onto my hand. “I didn’t know you then, and I don’t know why you were so determined to get yourself killed over there, but let me tell you one thing.”

“What?”

“I, for one, am damned glad you’re alive. I wish I understood why you felt you had to end your life, but I thank God you’re here. With me. Now.” She pulled me out of the chair to my feet and wrapped her arms around me, snuggling her face into my chest. “You smell so good.”

For the second, I echoed her sentiments. I was damned glad I hadn’t died that day. I inhaled the coconut scent of her hair. “So do you, blue eyes.”

She just held me. She didn’t try to kiss me, didn’t grab the bulge in my pants, which was now visible. She just held me close to her.

And damn, it felt good.

It felt fucking good to be held.

I kissed the top of her head, her silky hair tickling my nose. Oh, I wanted her. I wanted to strip her down and shove my cock into her wet heat right this minute. But I also wanted this closeness, this tenderness.

I squeezed her harder, trying to prolong this moment for as long as I could. “I…”

She let out a sigh. “What is it?” she asked.

I wanted to say “I love you.” I wanted to say it so badly. The words ached to spill out of me.

But I couldn’t bring them forward.

Then the strangest thing happened. She pulled away from me and pierced my gaze with her blue one.

“Talon, I love you.”

My knees nearly buckled beneath me. My lips trembled. She must’ve mistaken that for getting ready to speak, because she covered my mouth with two fingers.

“You don’t have to say it back. I know you’re probably not ready. You may never love me. I understand that, and I don’t want to pressure you into anything you’re not ready for. I know you said you won’t love me. And that’s okay. But I want you to know that I love you. I want you to know that you are worth something to me. Not because you saved someone I love. Not because you’re a hero. Not because you’re my best friend’s brother. And not because you’re gorgeous and muscular and physically perfect.” She smiled. “Just because you’re Talon Steel, and I’m really glad I met you and that you’re in my life. And if what I have with you lasts no longer than the next minute, I will still be glad I met you, and I will never regret falling in love with you.”

My eyes stung. Yes, tears threatened. My body was simultaneously numb and coursing with every emotion imaginable.
I love you too, Jade. I love you too.

She continued, “And now, I really want to go to your bedroom and make love with you.”

My hard cock thought that was a great idea, but what I really wanted was to savor her, to make this about her, good for her, more than I had the other night. And maybe, just maybe, I would be able to repeat the words she had said to me. Never before had I longed so much to say those words, but I was truly scared. Scared that I wasn’t what she thought I was…and I knew I was not. When she found out about me, she would no longer love me.

I cupped her cheek and stroked it softly with my thumb. “You didn’t need to say all of that, blue eyes. I’ll be happy to make love with you.”

“I didn’t say it for any other reason than I wanted to say it. Although I do think that’s the first time you’ve referred to the act as making love instead of fucking.” She let out a giggle.

“Come with me.” I led her down the hallway to my suite, Roger following along.

I would take her slowly this time, even though my cock was straining.

I pulled her pink sweater over her head and tossed it on the chair. I unclasped her bra and freed her beautiful breasts. Her nipples were hard and taut, and I pinched one of the pink-brown nubs.

She jolted. “God, I love it when you do that.”

So did I. Her nipples and breasts were a fucking work of art. The finest sculptors couldn’t have carved anything more beautiful.

She reached for my T-shirt, but I swatted her hand away.

“Let me,” I said. “Let me take care of
you
this time.”

I pushed her down on the bed, removed her sandals, and then unbuckled her jeans and slid them over her hips. Only her leopard-spotted panties remained between me and her luscious body. I didn’t want to go straight for her hot pussy, even though I knew it was wet. I could smell her musk, and it was making me crazy. No, I would do something for her. Even though I hadn’t been able to give her the words she had given me, I could at least give her tenderness with my body.

I leaned over her, still fully clothed, and kissed her softly on the lips. She opened her mouth to meet my tongue, but instead of taking it, I moved to her cheek, raining tiny kisses over the apple, up to her temple, and then down to her earlobe. I tugged on it lightly and nibbled around the outer shell of her ear. She sighed softly. I probed into her ear with my tongue and then continued down the side of her neck, kissing little trails across her jawline, her cheek, to her other ear, where I repeated my action. Then I kissed her neck, giving her little love bites, refraining from sucking hard and marking her, even though I yearned to do so.

I kissed across her chest to her shoulders, down her arms to her hand, where I sucked each of her fingers into my mouth. I kissed back up her arm and across her chest again, reveling in the soft sweetness of her flesh. Ignoring those amazing breasts demanded all my willpower, but I did it, determined to show her all the tenderness I never thought I could. I kissed over to her other arm, grazing over the soft skin with my lips.

“Talon, please. My nipples.”

“Shh,” I said against her skin. “In good time.”

I kissed a spiral pattern around her breast, not stopping until I made it to the areola. Then I gave the boob a squeeze and moved to the other one.

She squirmed against me. “I’m going crazy here. My nipples need you.”

I chuckled against her silky skin while spiraling around the other breast. Her skin was like the finest silk under my lips as I kissed it, swirled my tongue into it, tasted the sleek texture of her.

She squirmed more but didn’t ask me to pleasure her nipples again. I slid down to her abdomen and rained kisses over it. When I got to the beautiful pussy between her legs, I summoned every ounce of self-control I had to make a detour and kiss down her thighs, knees, all the way to her beautiful feet, toes painted light pink. I kissed each toe and glided back up again, avoiding her pussy and sliding down the other leg.

My cock was ready to burst out of its confinement. But I was single-minded. She had done so much for me, had tried to make it about me so many occasions. This was her time.

I kissed back up to her abdomen.

Finally, I flicked my tongue over one turgid nipple.

“Oh, God, yes,” she sighed. “I’ve been waiting for that, needing that. No one sucks my nipples like you do, Talon.”

“No one’s nipples are as beautiful as yours, blue eyes.” I sucked one into my mouth while pinching the other one between my thumb and forefinger.

She writhed beneath me, and her musky scent drifted upward. I inhaled deeply, still sucking on her nipple. God, I was so fucking hard.

I ached to free my cock and sink into her moist heat, but I was determined to give her what she wanted, and right now she wanted the nipple treatment. Not a hardship to focus on her beautiful nipples. I sucked, nibbled, bit, kissed…and underneath me she continued to writhe, convulsing, sighing, moaning my name…like candied nectar for the ears.

She gripped two fistfuls of my T-shirt and tried to pull it forward over my torso.

I gave her nipple a hard bite. “Not yet, blue eyes.”

She tried to pull my shirt up again, and I bit her again.

Ah… She liked the hard bite. She had liked the nipple clamps the other night. She liked harsh nipple play.

I certainly had more of that in store for her, but I was trying to be tender today. No more bites on her nipples. Even if she tried to pull my shirt off.

Finally, when her nipples were good and worked over, I slid her panties off her and let my hand drift between her legs and part her silky folds. God, so wet, so juicy. I pushed two fingers inside her and massaged her G spot.

She jerked beneath me. “God, Talon. I want to come so bad.”

“Oh, you will, baby. You’re going to come a lot today.”

And right after I said those words, I found her clitoris and sent her over the edge.

She gripped the comforter as she screamed her release. “Oh, God, Talon, I love you, I love you.”

Had she realized she said those words?

She was in another world, a world of nirvana, of rapture.

But even so, the words soared into me, giving me strength, hope.

I knelt between her legs and pressed my mouth to her wet cunt. It was still pulsing after her orgasm, and her juices warmed my mouth. I shoved my tongue into her deep recesses. Her flavor was like a juicy apple laced with female musk. Not even the finest Western slope apples from my orchard could rival Jade’s intense flavor after an orgasm. I lapped at her, feasting on her, determined to suck every last ounce of ambrosia from her mouth-watering body. Then I turned to her clit, wrapped my lips around it, and sucked.

And she flew into another climax.

She grabbed my head, grinding my face against her pussy. “God, yes, Talon. Just like that. Eat me. Eat me raw.”

Her words fed my desire, as I sucked at her clit again, this time thrusting not two but three fingers deep within her channel. I massaged that special spot, sending her over the edge again and then again.

She writhed, shivered, shattered, begged me to stop. “Enough, Talon. I need your cock. Now, please.”