Obsession (Steel Brothers Saga Book 2) (13 page)

R
oger curled
up next to me, his warm little body a comforting presence. I missed Jade. Why hadn’t I asked her to stay? I wanted her here all the time, with me. I wanted to take care of her.

But who was I to take care of anyone when I couldn’t take care of myself?

She’d be after me with more questions—about the tattoo, about the news article that wasn’t released anywhere but here, about why I had wanted to…

God, I hated going there. Hated it so much.

* * *

I
raqi insurgents had ambushed us
. Caught after dark in a copse of trees adjacent to a small northern village, I was one of the officers in charge of two Explosive Ordnance Disposal units, all enlisted men except one nurse. The other officer was my superior, Captain Derek Waters.

Shells began exploding all around us, the blasts deafening, and enemy fire erupted from the mountainside. The whoosh of the blood in my veins overpowered the explosions, turning into white noise. I yelled at my troops to run, my voice vague and far-off, and I ran like hell.

Once I escaped the woods and the gunfire, I looked back. No one was behind me. Why the fuck hadn’t they run?

More to the point, why had I bothered to run? Fuck, why had I done a lot of things in my life when I’d have been better off dying?

Why hadn’t I just stayed, stood stock still, closed my eyes, looked to the heavens…and gotten my ass shot off?

An end to all my problems…

But here I stood. Like a fucking imbecile.

Waters and two troops rushed at me.

“Steel! You okay?” Waters asked.

I nodded. Waters and the two troops crashed to the ground, panting. Still, I stood.

And the answer hit me.

I would go back in.

I would go back in under the guise of saving my men and hope that I got shot to hell. I bolted in, instinctively dodging fire. The first troop I came across was one of my enlisted men, Clancy Brown. He was screaming, his foot having been shot. He couldn’t get up, and blood was spurting from his lower limb. I grabbed him by the shoulders and got him onto my back, running like hell to get him out of there. When I finally cleared the copse of trees and the enemy fire, I put him down and went running back in, ignoring Waters, who was now sitting up, yelling at me to stay put.

I charged back in and found my sergeant, Jensen, my second-in-command. I grabbed him and pulled him out, and he too begged me not to go back in there.

“Lieutenant, we need you! You’re fucking crazy! Don’t do it!”

But I ignored him as well, darting back through, again instinctively dodging the fire when I should’ve been putting myself in harm’s way. All told, I got four more out, including a woman, Cline, one of the nurses who had been with us.

I turned and rushed back toward the woods.

“Damn it, Steel, no!” Waters grabbed me around the neck.

I broke his choke hold easily, but Forrester, one of the men who had escaped with Waters, tackled me to the ground.

“We need you, Lieutenant.”

I broke free of Forrester with little effort and surged forward.

Waters stopped me again, with help from Jensen, Forrester, and the nurse, Cline. That woman had a motherfucking strong grip.

“I outrank you, Steel,” Waters yelled. “You’re not going back in there.”

I struggled to regain my freedom. “Your men are in there too, you son of a bitch!”

Somehow, with all the adrenaline pumping through me, I broke free and thrust my body forward again.

Forrester tackled me again.

“Let me go, Forrester. That’s a fucking order!”

Waters ran at me, throwing himself on top of Forrester and me. “You’re staying put, Steel. And that’s a fucking order, you dumb shit. Don’t you think I care as much as you do about those troops? Half of them are mine. But damn it, you’re no good to anyone dead.”

Once more I struggled free, my strength unimaginable. But then—

Thud!

Forrester punched me in the nose, and Cline—yes, Cline, her forehead spewing blood—popped me upside the head. I didn’t feel any pain. Too much adrenaline still coursed through my veins. But I went down. I fucking went down. When my head hit the ground, things went black.

Other than a minor concussion, I got out of it unscathed. I was taken to our military base for patching up.

There I sat, healthy as a horse, still fucking alive.

I had done my best to get my ass blown to bits, and it hadn’t worked.

* * *

A
s I lay in bed
, still petting Roger, my body went cold. I was truly no hero. I hadn’t risked my life for my men. I’d gone in seeking my own demise.

My eyes shot open.

I was glad I wasn’t dead. Fucking glad.

Jade had done that for me, and I needed to do something for her. I needed to work through this chaos that was my life so I could be worthy of her.

I scoffed. I would never be worthy of her, of her love. I did love her, but did she really love me? Jade wasn’t the type to lie. She truly thought she loved me. But the fact of the matter was, she didn’t know me. She didn’t know the real Talon Steel. She didn’t know the man who had killed overseas…and who still dreamed of killing three men from his past.

No, she didn’t love
that
Talon Steel.

That Talon Steel was unlovable.

* * *

T
he boy sat
on his ragged blanket, shivering. They hadn’t come in over a day, and he had long since finished the meager meal and small glass of water they had left him.

The bucket was full of his waste, and the rancid stench made his eyes water. He should’ve been used to it by now, but he wasn’t. Wasting away in the midst of his own filth… He truly was nothing.

But he dreamed sometimes, when he was able to sleep. He dreamed of escaping and growing into a big strong man…and hunting those masked demons…plunging knives into their hearts… and laughing into their blurred faces as they drew their last breath.

But the walls… In the walls, the face of the phoenix emerged.

“That will never happen, you piece of filth,” the bird chided, laughing. “You are worth nothing. Nothing more than that little gray blanket they’ve given you. You will die here, and they will never pay for what they’ve done to you. You deserve every bit of it.”

And then, even though the boy would close his eyes and cry on the inside, tears would not emerge.

He was too dehydrated to make tears.

He unclasped his hands around his knees and lay down, shivering. As the walls came ever closer…closer…closer.

Until the walls swung back to their normal positions when the door at the top of the stairs opened. The boy squinted at the sliver of light. Footsteps echoed, and one of the three descended, wearing only shorts and a T-shirt…and the black ski mask, of course.

The boy huddled in the corner. Please, please not again. Normally they all came together when they decided to abuse him. But the boy was never sure what would happen when one of them came alone. The demon didn’t wear shoes. Normally they did. When the lone beast turned toward the boy, he carried food. The boy had stopped getting hungry a while ago, but still he knew he needed to eat. His stomach was raw and empty.

He needed to eat to survive. Always to survive.

“Here you go, bitch.”

The one who brought the food. Not Tattoo or Low Voice. This one was almost invisible most of the time, rarely talked, but he took his turns like the others. He set the tray down.

The boy looked up. The man’s eyes glared, but the boy couldn’t tell the color in the darkness. He looked down the devil’s body, all the way to his ugly bare feet. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine…

Nine toes. No pinky toe on his left foot.

No pinky toe…

* * *

I
shot upright
.

One of those bastards was missing the pinky toe on his left foot. Was that unusual? He could have been born that way, or he could have lost his toe in an accident.

I didn’t care. I threw on my robe, ran down the hall to my office, and fired up the computer. I was about to put out a search for men missing a small toe on the left foot.

And one of them was going to answer to me.

“
E
xcuse me
?” I looked to Toby and then to Haley.

The Goth girl was biting her lip ring again.

“Are you in the business of turning away customers?”

“Any business has the right to refuse service to anyone,” Toby said.

“But why me? I’m nobody.”

“I’m afraid I can’t help you.” Toby stood awkwardly, adjusting his weight between his two legs.

“You’re the only tattoo shop here.”

“There are plenty in Grand Junction. I’m sure you can find what you want there.”

“But I’ve seen Haley’s work. I love it.”

“Haley is a fine artist, but there are many others who will serve you just as well.”

I shook my head. “What the hell—”

And it hit me. Talon had been here. He had waived his money around and convinced these people not to tattoo me. He hated the tattoo. He’d made that abundantly clear. But to go so far as to pay off the only tattoo shop in town
not
to do business with me?

Only one way to find out. I turned in a huff and walked out the door, slamming it.

I drove back to the ranch, anger coursing through me. How dare he?

It was nearly dinnertime by the time I got back, and Marj was pulling up just as I was.

“Jade, great to see you. What are you doing driving the Mustang?”

“Talon loaned it to me.”

“Oh, good. Although I’m sure George will miss all the fares.”

I wasn’t in the mood to make nice, even with Marj. “I’ve got to see Talon.”

“Sure. He’s probably inside. Why don’t you stay for dinner?”

Dinner? I was hardly hungry. I stalked inside behind Marj. “Talon!”

“Calm down, Jade. We’ll find him.”

I went running to his bedroom and opened the door, not bothering to knock. Roger looked up from where he was sleeping at the foot of Talon’s bed. Talon was nowhere in sight.

Roger panted and ran to me.

I gave him a quick pet. “Come on, boy. Let’s put you outside.” I let the dog out and then turned to Marj. “Where the fuck is he?”

“Settle down. I have no idea.”

“He was here a few hours ago.”

“Oh, you were here?”

I nodded. “Is his car here?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t look,” Marj said.

I ran outside. His Mercedes was there, but his pickup was not. He had driven off somewhere. “Damn it,” I said under my breath.

Marj came outside and grabbed my arm. “Jade, what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Your brother is what’s wrong with me, Marj.” I let out a huff. “He has really overstepped his boundaries this time.”

“What are you talking about?”

“For some reason, he doesn’t want me to get a tattoo. He won’t tell me why, except that he doesn’t want me to mar my body. I had the greatest image all picked out—a phoenix similar to what I saw on my mom’s boyfriend. It truly spoke to me, and after so many years of searching for the right image, I thought I’d found it. But Talon went crazy, forbidding me to get a tattoo, and especially
that
tattoo. I don’t take kindly to orders, as you know, so I went in today to make an appointment at Toby’s, and I was told that they won’t tattoo me. Can you fucking believe that?”

“I’m sure there’s a very good explanation.”

“Really? You think so? He’s a businessman, for God’s sake. I’m a client willing to pay good money to get a tattoo. And he turns me away. That has Talon Steel written all over it.”

Marj bit at her lip. “Why would Talon care if you get a tattoo?”

I rolled my eyes and threaded my fingers through my hair. “Tell me, and we’ll both know. Your brother’s just crazy. Simply crazy. There’s no other explanation.”

Marj sighed. “I don’t know that he’s crazy, but he does have issues.”

“Issues? This goes way beyond issues. Your brother’s just going to have to understand that he doesn’t own me. I’m going to go into Grand Junction and get my whole fucking body tattooed to spite him.”

Marj let out a giggle. “No, you’re not.”

“Fine. Okay, I’m not.” I drew in a deep breath and let it out, trying desperately to calm down. “But I
am
going to go to Grand Junction and get a tattoo. No matter what he says.”

“That’s certainly your right. Normally, you know I would never tell you not to do something that you want to do, but…”

“But what? Surely, you can’t be telling me that you agree with him.”

“I’m not saying that.” She smiled. “And don’t call me Shirley.”

I burst into giggles. Trust Marj to pacify me with a stupid-ass joke.

“See, I knew I could make you laugh. Let’s go to the kitchen and have a glass of wine. We’ll talk this out.”

While Felicia was busy in the kitchen getting dinner ready, Marj poured two glasses of wine, and we went out onto the deck.

“Now,” Marj said. “Spill it. What the hell is going on?”

I sighed. “I wish I knew.” I looked down at my glass of wine and swirled the liquid a little. “He told me he loved me today.”

“Oh my God, that’s fantastic!” Marj clapped her hands. “I don’t believe it.”

“I didn’t either. I mean, I believe it, I just couldn’t believe he said it.”

“Did you say it back?”

“I actually said it first.”

“Wow.”

“I told him he didn’t have to say it back. That I understood if he couldn’t, and it was okay, but I just needed him to know how I felt.”

Marj took sip of wine. “Talon wouldn’t say he loved you unless he meant it.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. I didn’t push it. I didn’t even mention it. I didn’t ask him to repeat it. I just wanted to savor it, and I didn’t want to give him any chance to take it back.”

“It’s weird to think about…you and Talon.”

“I know.” I understood what she meant. Her brother and her best friend—it had to be strange for her. But even more strange was the fact that Talon was so…walled off.

Time to change the subject. I hadn’t yet told Marj about her birth certificate and what I had learned from Wendy Madigan. I bit my lip for a minute and then took a sip of wine. I couldn’t tell her that Larry was investigating her and her family.

I took in a breath and then exhaled. “By the way, I was doing some routine investigation at work last week when I came across an article in the local paper when Talon returned three years ago.”

“Yeah, there was quite a to-do about it,” she said.

“How come you never told me he was such a hero?”

“He wanted us all to keep it quiet. He begged us to. I’m still not sure why, but I felt I owed it to him. It was his story to tell, not mine.”

Ryan had said those exact words to me when I went to him months ago, asking him about Talon. It wasn’t his story to tell.

What story? Was Ryan talking about Talon’s heroism? About his time in the military? I had no idea.

“I thought we didn’t have secrets, Marj.”

Her cheeks pinked. I had embarrassed her.

“I know, Jade, but Talon felt so strongly about this…”

“You don’t need to explain. And I haven’t forgotten that I just kept a whopper from you up until about a week ago.”

She smiled.

“Anyway, when I read the story, I got to thinking about those documents we had found. So I did a database search for your birth certificate, and the weird part is that your birth certificate shows you only as Marjorie Steel. This is the official document at the Colorado records department.”

“Okay, then why does the one downstairs say my first name is Angela?”

“Well, I researched that a little. There was a name at the bottom of the article about Talon, Wendy Madigan. She used to be a field correspondent for NNN. Do you recognize the name?”

“Wendy Madigan? No, I don’t.”

I wasn’t about to divulge the fact that her father had engaged in a decades-long affair with the former newswoman. True, we weren’t supposed to have secrets, but that… Marj wasn’t ready for that.

“I called her because I was curious why the news story was only shared locally. Turns out she had used her clout to keep it out of the national news at Jonah’s request.”

“Doesn’t surprise me.”

“Anyway, I asked her about your birth certificate, and she told me quite a tale.”

I quickly relayed what Wendy had said about Marjorie’s mother naming her Angela and then removing the name when she survived.

“No kidding? I was premature?”

“You didn’t know?”

She shook her head. “You sure can’t tell to look at me. I’m damn near six feet tall.”

“Were you ever small for your age?”

“Nope, always the tallest girl in the class. God, it was painful before the guys in school shot up. And even after, I was still taller than half of them.”

I smiled. “You were always the most gorgeous too, I bet.” But I had to change the subject yet again. “I know this is a hard topic for you, but what exactly do you know about your mother?”

“I don’t know a lot. At least not firsthand, because I don’t remember her. I’ve seen pictures of course, and I look a little bit like her, though I have my dad’s coloring, same as the boys, but my face is shaped like hers, and my lips.”

I nodded.

“I know she was troubled. I mean, why else would she have killed herself?”

I nodded again. Marj was probably not the best person to be asking about Daphne Steel. The boys remembered her and would be able to tell me more. But so far, they had been tight-lipped about anything concerning family.

“Crazy,” Marj continued. “So I was supposed to die?”

“Yeah, and I’m sure glad you didn’t.”

“Me too.”

We laughed together and drank some more wine.

“Out of curiosity,” I said, “I also checked out your parents’ marriage certificate. The official version in the Colorado database says your mom’s maiden name was Warren, like you guys always thought.”

“That is curious.”

I swallowed a mouthful of wine. “I don’t really know what to make of it all. Somebody somewhere got into the records database, probably a long time ago, and made those changes in the permanent records. It had to be someone pretty high up in the government to have that access.”

“Or my father paid for that access.”

I had wanted to say that, but I was glad she had. “I have given that a bit of thought. Especially since I’m pretty sure Talon paid off Toby’s Tattoo Parlor not to work with me.”

“Well, I’m not particularly proud of it, but one of the benefits of having this kind of money is that we can afford to
buy
certain things.”

Felicia opened the door and stuck her head out. “Dinner is ready. Is Mr. Talon coming home?”

Marj sighed. “Beats the heck out of me, Felicia. I think Jade and I will have our dinner out here, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. I’ll bring it right out. You want some more wine, ladies?”

Marj giggled. “Of course.”

Felicia brought us two plates of spaghetti and meatballs along with the bottle of wine we had opened and left in the kitchen. I inhaled. Mmm. Rustic tomato and beef. Nothing better.

We dived into our meals and were chatting about nothing in particular when Felicia came back.

“Pardon me, Miss Jade, but there is a Colin Morse here to see you.”