Of Love and Darkness (17 page)

Gavin growled, low in his throat, warning William that he wasn’t at all happy with the Fate’s response. But before he could formulate a retort, his eyes suddenly went round and began to glow in earnest.

“Sydney!” he gasped, clutching at William’s sodden dress. “Sydney! She’s in danger!”

And he took off at a run.

Chapter 16

“My life officially sucks.”

Sydney said the words out loud. They echoed faintly, as the trees surrounding her quickly swallowed them and returned the world to normal: an incoming storm, with whipping wind, plunging temperatures, and sporadically spitting rain.

Matches my mood perfectly
. In truth, she was surprised she still felt so angry. She’d screamed at Gavin so thoroughly and for so long, even she was surprised at her own stamina. When she’d run out of ridiculous things to blame on him, she’d turned tail and run. Obviously, he’d assumed she’d run back to the bedroom they shared, because if he had even a remote inkling that she’d run into the woods behind Killian’s home, he certainly would have come chasing after her by now. No matter how blasphemous, no matter how cruel, how insulting she’d become, he had stood there, taking it, stoically. Like a man.

No
, she corrected herself.
Like a shifter.
A Rakshasa
.

He knew. He knew. He knew, he knew, he knew.

She kept repeating the words in her head, until she questioned her own sanity. One look at William had told her everything. The Fate had looked so guilty, he was like a child who’d stolen a cookie before dinner and had gotten caught.

If William looked so guilty, why am I so angry with Gavin?

She had the answer to that, too. William’s job was to protect her, plain and simple. It hurt, of course, that he would keep such an important truth from her, but she could understand it. His protection was for her physical self, but she knew William, and his protection extended to her emotional well-being as well. Besides, William would assume it was Gavin’s place to tell her.

Gavin was supposed to be her mate, her lover, her confidant, her . . .
everything
.

Except my true mate
. The sadness tried to push against the anger. He could give her everything . . . except the future of her own kind. Her destiny.

“Your species ends with you. Rakshasa cannot beget Chala. It has never occurred. It goes against the laws of nature. So the choice is yours, Chala. Your species, or your bedmate.”

The choice is yours.

But it wasn’t, not really, Sydney acknowledged. If she had a choice, well, even as angry as she was, she would choose Gavin. Her love for the impossible shifter ran that deep. Which meant the choice was most certainly not hers. Because there was no choice, really.

The future of the Light Ones depended upon her. It was such a heavy weight to bear upon some rather un-sturdy shoulders.

How will I ever get over him? How will I ever look another man in the eye, kiss him, let him undress me . . . Make love to him? Carry his child in my womb
?

As much as Sydney played lip service to wanting to wait before getting pregnant, she’d already had multiple fantasies involving herself waddling around with Gavin’s child growing inside her, and then holding Gavin’s child in her arms, watching Gavin hold
her
child in his arms.

She’d never had that sort of fantasy with any other man she’d ever dated, and until Prim dropped her bombshell, Sydney would have sworn she knew the reason why: because Gavin was her soul mate. They were meant to be together.
Like peanut butter and jelly
, she’d told him once, giggling, when they’d been in a particularly playful mood, not so many days ago.

A lifetime ago.

Her life had changed so much in such a short period of time. This was her pack, these were her Light Ones, her future. Her family. And Gavin was a part of it. An integral part of it. Those shifters looked to him to be their leader. Not a one among them could lead half as well as him.

Without Gavin, she might as well walk right up to the Rakshasa and invite them to kill her. She knew, without a doubt, that without Gavin, her pack was vulnerable. But with him, well, they actually stood a chance. A chance for Sydney to choose a mate and have babies and ensure that the future of her species was intact.

Would he stay on, if I choose to mate with another
? She wondered, even as she wondered how the hell she could ever mate with someone else. Especially if Gavin decided to remain their leader. Every day, he would be there. Every day, training them, pushing them, teaching them, leading them. Sometimes, watching him stand there and bark orders at them as they trained would get her so hot, she’d practically attack him when they were alone together in their bedroom that evening.

Would she feel the same lust for her other mate, after watching Gavin train all day?

The rain began to spit with more insistence, and Sydney finally admitted she was lost. It was almost enough to make her laugh, if her life weren’t so utterly and completely devoid of anything remotely cheerful at the moment. She hadn’t gotten lost since Gavin walked into her life. Was this some sort of foreboding?

She’d left the house, running blindly, the tears making it difficult to see anyway. She’d turned away from the sound of splashing water and plunged into the forest on the other side of the house. And she’d run and run and run, until she had a stitch in her side, and dropped to her knees, gasping for breath and wishing she’d had the foresight to grab a bottle of water on her way out the door. Unfortunately, that wouldn’t have made for nearly as dramatic an exit.

She knew she could close her eyes and open her mind and she would be able to find her way back to Gavin, but she didn’t want to do that, not yet, maybe not ever. What if she ran away? Surely there were other Light Ones in the world. What if she left, and found another pack? One that didn’t have any connection to Gavin. Maybe then she could start over, without the constant reminder of his presence.

Who was she kidding? His image was burned into the back of her brain. Even now, when she closed her eyes against the rain, an instant and perfect image of Gavin immediately popped into her head. She quickly opened them, just in case that particular action would cause him to seek her out. She wasn’t ready to see him. Not yet.

She considered summoning William. But she wasn’t ready to deal with the sadness in his eyes, and the guilt he would inevitably feel. Whether he’d known for five minutes or five days, William would feel guilty for the way she discovered the truth. And she had nothing left to give someone else at the moment.

Sydney stopped wandering and focused on listening, trying to seek out the sound of the roiling stream over the steady splatter of raindrops and the whistling of the wind. She thought she heard a branch snap, and she whipped her head around, straining to see in the almost impenetrable darkness. Suddenly, running away blindly seemed like a really stupid idea. Whatever her relationship with Gavin, she was still a Chala, possibly the last Chala, and it was dangerous for her to wander the woods alone.

“What the hell are you doing out here by yourself?”

Sydney turned so fast she winced at the crick in her neck. Brandon Haines stood before her, blond hair plastered to his forehead, clothes soaked to the skin, eyes glowing dangerously. She sucked in a breath and took an unsteady step backward.

“Where the hell is your mate? Is he fucking nuts?”

Sydney shook her head. Her mouth opened, but no words came out.

Brandon squinted and took a step toward her. “Are you—Are you crying?”

Sydney finally found her voice, and a trace of her dignity. “It’s raining. What makes you think I’m crying?”

“Your eyes are more red than blue, and your face is all splotchy. Classic crying signs. Fighting with your dark mate?”

“None of your damn business. What are you doing here? Where’s Nate? I can’t believe you killed Jack. I should have told Gavin about you. I should have—”

“Nate’s probably caught up with the rest of your pack by now, and I didn’t kill Jack. You really think I would do that?” He actually appeared insulted.

“Well, um, yeah. Look what you did to Gavin.”

“Gavin killed my mother. Jack and Nate were actually pretty damn nice to me, all things considered. The Rakshasa killed Jack. I tried to save him, but at the time, I was hindered by some tight goddamned ropes around my wrists.”

“Oh. Well, thanks?”

“Don’t thank me. He’s dead.”

“Nate isn’t. So thanks.”

“I didn’t save him. The Rakshasa caught up with us. Jack refused to tell them where you all went, so they killed him. Nate was a little easier to convince.”

Sydney gasped, and Brandon nodded grimly. “Yeah. They caught up to us in Missouri. The only reason I got to live was because they still haven’t gotten all their money.”

“I can’t believe you paid them to capture Gavin. Those shifters were your friends. And I happen to be your Chala.” Accusation was thick in her voice.

Brandon had the grace to look abashed. “I know. I was stupid. I acted rashly.”

“You acted on a two-hundred-year-old grudge. That’s the antithesis of rash!”

Brandon’s neck reddened. “Look, I didn’t realize, okay? All I knew was Gavin the badass Rakshasa. He killed my mother, Sydney!”

“I know. And I’m sorry for your loss,” Sydney said sympathetically. “But it happened over two hundred years ago. He is in a far different place now. And I know it won’t bring your mother back, but I truly believe he has more than purged his sins.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I get it, okay? I was stupid. I know he’s changed now. I could see it—in you. You’re the reason he’s in a better place.”

Sydney barked out a laugh. “Shows what you know.”

“I can tell by the way he looks at you,” Brandon insisted. “The way he treats you. It’s you, Sydney. You, the Chala.
His
Chala.”

She snorted. “Apparently you didn’t get the memo. I’m not his Chala. We’re—we’re an aberration, apparently. We—” Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat as she tried to blink back tears. She’d thought—hoped—they were all dried up by now. Apparently not.

“He’s still a Rakshasa,” she said miserably. “And I was recently informed that he and I—that . . . that . . .” She couldn’t even say it. Saying it made it real.

Brandon understood without explanation. Apparently
she
was the only one who hadn’t gotten the memo. He whistled. “That sucks. Gavin must be pretty broken up.” He didn’t look as if he minded so much that Gavin might be broken up. Apparently, Brandon realized the error of his ways, but that didn’t mean he had to exactly like the man. It may have been two hundred years ago, and Gavin may have changed, but he had still killed Brandon’s mother.

Sydney cleared her throat again. “How—How are you here? Are you . . .? Have I . . .?”

“Am I here to capture you and hand you over to the Rakshasa? No. I escaped. I had to get here to warn you.”

“Warn me?”

“They’re coming. They know where you are. You have to get back to your pack. They’re right behind—”

“You!” Sydney screamed. Her eyes widened when a giant fur-covered creature dove out of the undergrowth and leaped at Brandon’s back. “Duck!”

Brandon instinctively obeyed. The shifter dove right over his head and all four paws slammed into Sydney, knocking her to the ground.

Brandon immediately realized his mistake and ran at the animal, grabbing fistfuls of fur and forcing him away from Sydney. By the time the shifter turned around, Brandon had shifted as well, and they circled each other, teeth bared, saliva dripping from thick, sharp fangs, eyes glowing brightly in the pouring rain.

They lunged, and soon were rolling on the ground, jaws snapping, spittle, blood, and fur flying every which way. Sydney scrambled to her feet and backed up against a tree, feeling helpless, as she watched the animals battle.

The sense of awareness she was fast coming to recognize as a warning sign that a shifter was in her vicinity washed over her, and Sydney knew instantly this was foe, not friend. She stood stock still, waiting to see where the next one would emerge. She almost missed him, because he was a flying mass of fur and fangs, as he leaped into the snarling fight carrying on in front of her.

“Oh no!”

With the three of them in animal form, it was impossible to tell how well Brandon was faring. Sydney had no idea what to do. She had a little magic, and she could start flinging it, but what if she accidentally hit Brandon? He’d be rendered utterly helpless, and they wouldn’t hesitate to kill him. So she decided a different tactic.

“Hey, boys! The prize is over here!” She stepped away from the tree, waving her hands to get their attention.

Both shifters lifted their noses and sniffed the air, and then turned almost as one to face her.

Brandon shifted back to human form long enough to say, “Are you fucking crazy, woman? Run!”

Instead, she threw a dose of magic at each shifter, rendering them both frozen. Then she ran to Brandon. “Come on.” She grabbed his hand, practically dragging him with her.

“Ow, stop! Fates, Sydney, I can’t run right now. Damn it, one of them bit my ankle near off. Ow!” Brandon complained as he limped along.

“That spell only lasts for a short time. Uh-oh.”

Three shifters were standing in a row, facing them, growling malevolently. The spell had worn off.

“How do they keep multiplying like that?” Sydney wanted to know.

“There are probably thirty more on the way. Run. I’ll fight them off. Get back to your pack and tell them to prepare for war. It’s coming. Go!”

“What about you?”

“Hey, consider it payback,” he said, trying to be flip.

“No.” Sydney turned and faced the trio of angry shifters, standing at Brandon’s side with her hands balled into fists.

He gave her a disbelieving look. “No way. Get out of here. I’m not going to have your death hanging on my head.”

“Then I suggest we ensure neither one of us dies.”

Easier said than done. Sydney couldn’t shift, so she was forced to fight off three overlarge, vicious dogs with only her fists, feet, and a few doses of almost completely ineffective magic.

Brandon roared, shifting into an animal at the same time. He slammed into one of the attacking Rakshasa, knocking the dog off its feet. It rolled several times until it hit a tree, and while it hadn’t been rendered unconscious, it took its time climbing to its feet.

Brandon twisted to the right and caught another one along the side of its belly, his razor sharp claws slicing through fur and skin and muscle, causing the other dog to howl in pain.