Authors: R. M. Grace
Eleven
“
How long have you known?”
“
A few days.”
“
Is that why you've been jumping out the bed before I can find out for myself?”
Love laughs as he pushes the front door closed. “I know any time would be perfect, but I planned this, and I wanted to be sure.”
Once Cade closes the space between them with slow, seductive steps, his fingers slip underneath Love's collar as he leans into him.
“
I thought I was more than a piece of meat to you, but obviously not,” Loveren laughs.
“
You are, trust me. Right now though, after what you did, I just want to show you how much I loved it.”
Pinned against the door, Love accepts the lips pressing against his with hungry vigour. The bitter remnant of beer tastes sweet as his skin merges with his own, drawing him deeper until his moist organ is writhing in heat.
Cade's fingers slide over Love's firm chest as he rakes his fingers through the brunette stands with harsh need. With his free hand wrapping around his lover's throat, Love can feel the vibration he is causing from yanking on matted knots. Yet, he doesn't stop as the sensation of restraining Cade's groans with his mouth only intensfies the urgency to have him more. To have him now, anywhere and anyhow he can.
When Cade drags him by the t-shirt, he complies without breaking contact. He couldn't let him go if he tried, and he certainly doesn't want to try. From the distance between the door and the bedroom, their lips lock in a hungry battle to taste as much as one another as they possibly can. And their hands become a flurry of movements as they fondle as much of one another as they can reach. They shed items of clothing along the floor as they stumble with their feet tangling together in a passionate dance.
They separate long enough for Cade to yank Love's shirt off his head with eager fingers to leave his hair a mess. Before the material can hit the ground, their lips mesh together again, moving in unison to explore what Loveren thought would forever be out of his reach.
Love's desperate hands fumble with the buttons of his partner's shirt, but when the repetitive action makes him inpatient, he yanks them from the thread and dives for the skin beneath. The instant he finds what he seeks, the touch elicits a moan into his mouth.
They part to pull one another's shoes and socks off, tossing them aside without care. Within the darkened room, with only the moonlight spilling through the open curtains, their mouths soon collide again. The connection is hard enough for their teeth to click against one another's.
Cade's body presses against him, allowing Love to caress his back and slide south to give his ass a squeeze. His hands knead the firm cheeks, urgent to spread them and bury his tongue inside that sweet hole.
His legs connect with the bed and, with nowhere to go but on his back, Cade grinds his arousal against his own. The strain is already dampening his briefs and begging for release—something that has been absent for far too long.
I'm never going back on those stupid pills.Never.
Love's teeth sink into Cade's plump bottom lip. He nips and sucks along the length as he teases his hips against him.The soft moan of warm air that floods his face tells him one thing: he cannot wait any longer to be free of the barriers keeping them apart. And Loveren cannot blame him.
When slender fingers slip between their heat and delve to Love's belt, it forces him to abandon his groping.
“
Hold on.” Love breaks their tryst and the hand working his belt falls away.
“
Sorry, are we going too fast?”
A dim yellow light answers Cade's question from the bedside table. Love fumbles with the setting until it isn't too bright, but exposes each curve of his deepest desire.
“No, I just want to see you, that's all.”
Despite saying that, he cannot help thinking they are rushing.
How long can I last after all this time?
“
You're worried you won't last long.”
“
I guess.” Love moves around the bed to yank the curtains closed.
“
It doesn't matter. We've got all night, and tomorrow.”
The warm smile that greets Love calms his nerves in an instant.
“
What about the rest of our lives?”
Cade crosses the room where his fingertips tickle the back of his neck. The touch is a simple, but effective one as it pulls him back into those lips again. With the light on them, Love can see they've swollen from his attack, but the fluster in Cade's cheeks is a look he can get used to.
He is so damn cute like this.
“The rest of our lives sounds good to me.”
Those words prompt the desire to push any worries away. With Cade by his side, he knows whatever happens, the experience will be one to savour.
Twelv
e
The wind sweeps his raven hair backwards and causes ripples to spread through the material against his ribs.
From here, he can see a distant shore, but within this unknown place, he cannot name the island. It could be Wales, he summarises. Although, if he is staring at the Bristol Channel it doesn't resemble what he recalls.
The view is clear and the sky is the deepest tone of blue. The sun hangs high above where it radiates a strong heat. Despite the wind, a light sheen dampens his forehead and sticks his t-shirt to his armpits.
The waves below move in calming shades of lagoon and turquoise. The water is so clear that the shadows drifting beneath capture his attention.
“
This place is beautiful.”
As Love glances around to find the voice, he sees the unsoiled landscape unfold before his eyes. This is no hotspot for tourist attractions and buildings, but a secluded place that only belongs to them for now. Only slopping hillsides spread as far as the eye can see with houses dotted between the grass, leading into the distance. He remembers telling Cade he wanted to buy a house out here one day.
Maybe we'll buy one together when we retire.
“
Where are we?”
“
Does it matter? We're together.”
Cade's fingers entwine with his on the cliff's edge. Foamy waves lap against the jagged rocks below, but each movement is subtle.
“
We are, but how did we get here? You're terrified of heights. I remember on holiday we climbed the rocks, but you wouldn't go near the edge.”
“
I am, but that's not the point. I want to try more scary things because I feel like I can do anything now.”
“
One night with me and you've gone crazy,” Love teases
“
And they say it's not contagious,” Cade sarcastically retorts. “No, I'm not crazy. I'm more like
Lois Lane
.”
“
I think you mean
Superman
, he's the one who can do almost anything.” Love's eyes sparkle light green like the algae within the sun shine.
“
No, because you're the one who catches me when I fall. That makes you
Superman
.”
No, I failed. You're the one who catches me and makes me feel alive.
“
I might have to get a cape then.”
“
Whatever you do, don't wear your pants over any tights. That's not hot. Besides, I don't think they could contain you.” Cade chuckles and raises their joint arms, but his usual humour-filled teasing is absent this time. Instead, he takes on an aloof expression as his golden eyes disappear behind closed lids and he takes a deep breath.
“Can you feel that?”
Before, Love would have asked what he is referring to, but now he has no doubt. He means everything: the gentle caress of the sun on his skin; the beads of sweat that clings his t-shirt to the centre of his back; the fresh mixture of salt, blossom and freedom; the cooler air that whips at his clothes and bites at his ears; and the clammy touch of their palms joining them to one another. The entire place is what he means, not a singular act. What is more, Loveren feels every piece and, for the first time in years, his emotions are soothing.
As Love slips his eyes shut, his lashes flicker and his mouth twitches into a smile. Nothing has felt this good in his life, and he bathes in the experience.
“
It's wonderful.”
“
When you think of me, remember I'll be here with you. Always.”
“
Why, where are you going?” Love's eyes spring open and stare with suspicion at the side of his face.
“
Down there. You can join me if you like.”
“
Down where?” For a moment, Love cannot wrap his mind around the words because Cade cannot mean what Love thinks he means. Jumping off this cliff is preposterous—something Cade would never entertain.
“
You can't jump.”
“
Why not?”
“
It's madness! There's all those rocks—you'll die.”
“
I can't die.”
“
Yes, you can. I can't live without you.”
Cade snorts at that and glances towards the horizon. “I'm with you from now until eternity. Wherever you go, I will follow. But you have to let me go.”
“
What? No, I won't let you do this.”
Cade's fingers slip away from his and he reaches for them again. Yet, he cannot grasp them because Cade's arms are already outstretched and leaning over the cliff at a ninety-degree angle. The dirt at his bare toes crumble and get caught in patches of grass. His feet shuffle closer so he is balancing on the tips.
“
No! Don't do this,” Love shouts as he stretches to reach him. There isn't a foot between them, yet his fingers cannot yank him backwards.
Cade's feet leave ground. For a moment, he floats within the air as though he is using his arms as wings. And then, he falls.
When Love's feet slap against the dirt, stones scratch his skin, but he doesn't grimace, or allow himself to invite the pain inside. Instead, he grabs for his partner, only to catch air.
All he can do is listen as his screams echo across the land as Cade plunges into the rocks below.
No, no, no! Not again!
Thirteen
Loveren's screams force him awake to find he is thrashing within the covers.
“
Don't leave me,” he mutters into the stuffy room before cool fingers wrap around his forearm and cause him to jerk.
“
It's okay, you had a nightmare. Makes a change from it being me.”
A nightmare?
To picture what he saw as such is not correct. Mostly, it was a dream and a great one at that.
How could it have turned rotten like that?
His breathing is hoarse and uneven. When he tries to swallow, his mouth is so tight it feels like it is shrinking.
“
It's okay, I'm here.”
“
You jumped.”
“
Jumped?”
“
You left me,” Love mutters with his hand raking through his hair.
“
I'm here, look.” Cade pulls his hand away and places Love's open palm between his pecks where his heartbeat is strong. “See, that's me here with you. I'm not going anywhere.”
Cade holds his hand until his thoughts recollect and Cade's presence wipes away the fear.
Love's dry tongue darts over his lips to add moisture, but it isn't anywhere near enough.
He slips his sweaty hand down Cade's skin. Within the darkness, he feels Cade flinch when he settles against his scar. He traces the indent with his fingers and wishes he could kiss it better. The wound may have healed on his skin, but it still brings suffering to his insides.
God, how scared I was when I found him.
The wait for the ambulance was the scariest time in his life. He will never forget how that moment felt until his dying day. But time has wore it down and new, memorable times now replace a huge chunk of the pain.
I almost lost him.
“
Tell me what happened.”
Love's smooth touch drops away from his scar and he sighs. “You were
Lois Lane.
”
Cade laughs without reservation. “Are we talking original
Lois
, or a remake? I fancy myself as
Erica Durance's
version of
Lois
. She's feisty, kick ass and takes no crap from anyone.”
The words go unheard by Love. All he can see is the way Cade's body suspended in the air right before he jumped.
“
I couldn't save you. You said I was
Superman
, but I couldn't stop you jumping.”
Cade rubs his hand over his back in a comforting gesture and tells him once more, “it was a dream. Everything is okay.”
“
We were on the coast. We were standing on the cliff's edge. You said I'd catch you if you fell, but I couldn't.”
“
Were we on holiday?”
“
What?” He didn't expect the response and cannot understand the relevance. “Must have been. It was Devon, I think.”
“
And I got close to the edge? Doesn't sound like something I would do.”
“
It was you, trust me. You said you could do anything now because you were happy.”
“
I am.”
“
But you jumped and I couldn't catch you like you wanted.”
“
Why?”
“
I don't know. I tried, but couldn't reach you. I'm not
Superman
. That's what you called me. You put me on a pedestal and I couldn't deliver.”
“
Did you want to save me?”
“
Do you have to ask?” Love scratches at his stubble, unsure why Cade would question his motives.
“
Perhaps you don't love me as much as you say,” Cade offers before he leaves a moist kiss on his shoulder.
“
There's nothing I care about more.”
“
Or maybe there's something holding you back.” He trails more kisses up his neck as he squeezes his feverish bicep.
“
Like what?”
“
I don't know—a secret, or fear maybe? Maybe you're scared you won't live up to the man I've built you up to be in my head. You're afraid you'll let me down and lose me.”
Love settles against the pillows and considers this.
“
Tonight was amazing. You're amazing. No one means half as much to me as you do. You know that. So, what I'm thinking is you're scared of something else.”
Love gulps and glances across the room. The night was amazing. Sure, the inevitable occurred sooner than he wanted. Yet, Cade found pleasure knowing it was him dishing out the pleasure. It was intimate and everything he's ached after for years.
“
There's nothing.”
Cade props himself onto his elbow and leans his forehead close. His fingers trace circles above his belly button and tug at the dark tufts of hair just below. “Please just say it.”
Love fidgets with discomfort and wishes he could somehow go back in time and not tell him about the dream.
I should have told him I couldn't remember. That's what anyone else would have done.
“
We're best friends, Love. Before anything else, we are friends. We tell each other everything.”
“
What, like you told me your feelings without hiding them for years?”
“
That's different.”
“
How?”
Love rolls onto his side with the truth burning on his tongue. Yet, as soon as those plump lips graze his, he swallows it.
What's the point in telling him when he will just tell me to go back on the meds?
“
I guess I felt rusty. What we did—”
“
First in a long time, I know. It didn't feel like you've been out the game at all though.”
“
I thought . . . Well, I wanted it to be great for you.”
Cade chuckles and presses into his lips. When he parts from the lazy kiss, he wraps a hand around his waist. “You're the best and the only one I need. You make me feel things no one else can. If that was you being rusty, then I don't know how you can better mind-blowing. But I'm excited to find out.”
Love cups his lover's chin and pulls him back for another kiss. “I don't want to lose you.”
“
You won't. I can't live without you. You saved me before and I know you will if I need you to again.”
Love closes his eyes and presses his forehead against his. “I promised I would meet you and I was late.”
When Cade pulls away, Love can feel his eyes piercing through the darkness. “So that's what's worrying you? You called the ambulance and they got me there in time to save me. Everything is fine.”
“
If I was there when I said I would be, then I could have stopped him. It shouldn't have happened. I still see you lying on the floor with blood everywhere. I knew then you'd never hear me tell you how much you mean to me.”
Cade grasps his hands and squeezes. “I remember waking up to see your worried face. But I woke, that's the main thing. I'm here now and I know what I mean to you, even if it's late.”
When he leans in to steal Cade's lips again, he cannot let them go. The gentle affection and tiredness soon gives way to enough passion to leave him breathless, but wanting more at the same time. And within the otherwise silence of the early hours, moans fill those four walls and capture the hours with all the love either could need.