Off Limits (10 page)

“Is that wound bleeding?”

“N-no, I don't think so. How are you doing?”

He smiled tiredly and pressed a kiss to the top of her damp hair. “You really are a nurse. You're more concerned for me than yourself.”

It felt so good to rest. Alex closed her eyes, her hand against his chest. “You're my eyes, ears and legs for this journey,” she teased. “Why shouldn't I be concerned how you're doing?”

Jim laid his head against the smooth trunk of the tree. “You're right. I like your common sense, Alex. Just another good point about you, gal.”

Alex warmed beneath his praise. As fatigued as she was, she wondered what Jim would do when they reached the marine firebase. Would he drop her off and disappear into the jungle? The thought shattered what was left of her courage. Automatically, her fingers tightened in the folds of his damp shirt.

“What's wrong?” Jim asked, stroking her hair.

“I—I'm scared.”

“Makes two of us. You're in good company.”

Just the trembling touch of his hand upon her hair soothed some of her inner torment. “I want us to live, Jim. Both of us...”

With a sigh, he leaned down and kissed her temple. “You're worth saving, Alex. I'm not.”

Tears flooded into her eyes and blindly she turned her head. Sliding her hand around his neck, she brought him down to mold her mouth to his.

A startled groan began deep within Jim as her mouth, warm and seeking, met his. Instantly, the insanity of the world around them ceased to exist. Only Alex's questing mouth, her hand around his neck mattered. Inside, his heart exploded with such pain, such relief as he eased her lips apart and tasted her, that it struck him to his soul. Her breathing was ragged, her mouth demanding and wanting. Shaken by her need of him, he felt the walls he'd been hiding behind crumble beneath her heated exploration.

He framed Alex's face with his hands, tilted her head back and hungrily slid his mouth along hers. Fire, cleansing and good, flowed through him as he drowned in the splendor of her heat. Her mouth was like sweet, hot honey to be tasted, savored and absorbed. Jim felt like a thief, stealing life from her, but as the seconds melted together, some small functioning part of his spinning senses told him, right or wrong, she wanted this as much as he did.

The realization was as startling as it was heartbreakingly beautiful. Like a starved animal denied too much for too long, Jim took all Alex could give him. The pain he'd carried since that nightmarish day when Kim was killed dissolved under the caress of her hand on his face and neck, her lips sliding reverently against his mouth. For an instant, Jim felt hope. Hope. Gradually, as they parted, their brows resting against each other, their noses touching, he felt Alex tremble. So did he. This time, it wasn't out of fear, it was out of such an overwhelming desire for her that it robbed him of all thought except the feel of her in his arms. Of their own accord, his hands moved from her hair, to her face, slender neck and shoulders.

“You're so beautiful, so good and kind,” he rasped against her wet lips.

With a sob, Alex lifted her chin. Jim's eyes were narrowed with intensity, with desire. “I—I love you,” she cried out softly.

J
im's breath snagged. His arms tightened around Alex for just a moment. And then, he released her. They sat beneath the lattice-work of roots, with barely enough headroom for Jim. He closed his eyes.

“Gal, you can't love me. It's impossible.”

Alex gulped but remained in the safety of his arms. How could she have fallen in love in a week's time? How? A portion of her was mystified by her blurted admission. As she felt through the morass of emotions bubbling within her, Alex knew it wasn't the wrong thing to say to Jim.

“I said it,” she rasped, her voice cracking. “I meant it.” Her fingers tightened on his shirt and she could feel his chest rising and falling quickly beneath her hand. Soon, it would be dawn. Jim didn't want to travel during the daylight hours, afraid of detection by roving bands of VC.

Groaning softly, Jim pulled Alex away just enough to look down and frantically search her gray eyes. What he saw in them was a luster, a wonderful trusting glow. He could never have imagined any woman looking at him like that—and meaning it. “You're feverish, Alex. You don't know what you're talking about.”

“I've only got a grade fever, Jim McKenzie, and I'm not hallucinating! I know what I said.”

Gripping her arm, he blurted in panic, “It's this crazy war, the situation, then.” Such a huge part of him wanted her admission to be true. Hadn't he been dreaming of Alex in place of his normal fare of nightmares? Hadn't that small seed of hope that had flared to life deep within him entertained that very need—wishing Alex would love the likes of him, terrible faults and all?

Now, as he stared into her unwavering gaze, his mouth grew dry. He saw Alex's stubbornness, only this time it was in connection with her feelings—for him. “No,” he rasped, “you can't mean it, Alex...you can't.”

“I do!” Anger flared through Alex, despite her disheveled condition, the constant fever and the physical hardships she'd endured thus far. “You're
worth
loving, Jim. Don't you see that?”

Muttering a curse under his breath, Jim tucked Alex against him, losing the argument. Joy sheared through him, followed by utter hopelessness. “You love a loser, then,” he told her harshly. “Don't hurt yourself because of me, Alex. As soon as I get you to that firebase, I'm disappearin' back into the jungle. I don't dare get caught, or they'll shove me in the brig. I can't stand the thought of goin' to prison. I'd die in those four walls. Just let whatever you feel for me go. You hear?”

Alex shook her head. She was trembling from exertion, her legs aching from their forced march. “How can I push something away that's grown so deep within me? I can't, Jim. Please, give yourself up. The marines don't know you decided what you did. You could go back and—”

“No!” The word was ground out between his teeth. Jim placed his fingers beneath her chin and forced her to look up at him. “Alex, if I went back, I'd go to prison for a long time. You can't go out in the bush with a marine squad and not carry your share of the load. I'm not going to lie to the corps about how I feel.”

Exhausted, Alex nodded. “It doesn't change how I feel about you,” she quavered.

“Go to sleep,” he ordered tightly. “You're stressed, Alex. It's natural to have crazy feelings at times like this. You don't love me. You just think you do. Now, go to sleep. We'll start moving again at dusk.”

Too weary to argue anymore, Alex nestled her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes. It occurred to her that loving Jim could be a one-way street. He'd never said he loved her. But that heated, hungry kiss had told her things he'd be too wary to admit to her. No, that one melting, soul-searching kiss had bonded them together. Forever.

* * *

Alex awoke with a start. At first she was disoriented, the dusk upon her. Then, as she grew more alert, she realized she was sleeping near the trunk of the rubber tree, alone. Jim was gone! Worried, she pushed up into a sitting position and looked around. Night sounds were picking up in volume as she tried to penetrate the lush jungle.

“Alex...”

A scream nearly leaped out of her mouth. Turning, she saw Jim quietly crawling back through the tangle of roots to where she sat.

“Where were you?” she demanded in a low, unsteady voice.

He grinned and held up some fruit. “Found some bananas for us to eat. They're a little green, but they'll be okay.” Wiping the sweat off his face, he came and sat next to her. He gave her two of the small bananas, keeping one for himself.

“No, you take two,” Alex protested. “You're larger than I am.”

He grinned and handed the fruit back to her. “I already ate two I found.”

“Oh.”

Jim said nothing, but pleasure flowed through him at the wonder of Alex: she would share what she had, no matter how hungry she was. As they sat in silence, chewing on the unripe fruit, Jim frowned. Thus far, he hadn't found anything not to like about Alex. All through the hot, humid daylight, he'd slept restlessly, alert to any change in noise level. Each time he'd reassured himself that VC weren't nearby, he'd turned his attention back to Alex sleeping deeply in his arms, and to her unexpected admission.

Stealing a glance at her now—her hair mussed, her face scratched and smudged with dirt—a profusion of rainbow feelings rushed through Jim. She was so small and petite against his height and leanness as a man. Yet the soft set of her lips, of the petite chin that balanced her heart-shaped face, spoke eloquently of her courage. Alex was the kind of woman he'd dreamed of someday falling in love with—a woman ruled by a large, generous heart, who might look helpless but wasn't in the least. After all, the woman he dreamed of taking for a wife would have to be able to survive the harsh demands of Missouri hill life—not for the faint of heart.

“How's your shoulder?” he asked.

“Okay.”

Jim smiled slightly and held her shadowed gray gaze. “Alex Vance, you're fibbing.”

It was her turn to smile uncertainly. “Yes...well, it hurts. But so does your leg, I'm sure,” she said, pointing to the splints.

“My level of pain is tolerable.”

“So's mine.”

“You must be feeling better. You're getting feisty on me.”

Alex finished the second banana and wiped her fingers along her jeans. “My fever seems to be gone, at least for now. And I'm not feisty.”

A grin worked its way across Jim's mouth. He felt such delight in discovering each new facet of Alex. How he ached to share each small discovery with her. But he couldn't. The feelings he held for her could never be revealed. He had to protect her from himself, because there was no future for them. Ever. “Think we ought to put more sulfa powder on your wound? We're gonna be walking all night.”

She nodded. “Yes.”

Jim eased her to the ground and gently removed the bandage. He noticed that Alex shut her eyes and refused to watch him work over her wound. Taking out the amber bottle containing the antibiotic, he quickly sprinkled the yellow dust across the injury and wrapped it again.

Alex sat up with his help as he rebandaged the wound. The dusk had turned to bare twilight. “How are you going to be able to see?” she asked.

“Same way we did last night.”

With a shake of her head, Alex muttered, “You've got the eyes of an owl, Jim McKenzie.”

He smiled and gestured for her to follow him. “I've been called plenty of things in my life, but never an owl.”

“What kinds of things?”

“Ladies don't need to hear those sorts of words. Come on, we've got a lot of ground to cover tonight.”

Tonight was different, Alex decided quickly. They weren't being pursued by B-52 bombs dropping out of the night sky, and Jim was being much more careful. She was amazed at the way his bare feet caressed the damp, branch-strewn jungle floor, making no sound. Leaves swatted constantly at her face and body. Sometimes a vine would trip her. Jim merely tightened his grip around her waist, catching her before she fell and holding her until she nodded that she was ready to move forward again.

Hours later, they discovered a small stream. Jim carefully checked the area for trip wires and land mines before allowing Alex to go down to the bank to drink. They rested, hidden in the tall grass along the bank. Because of her sling, Alex couldn't wash her neck or arm as Jim could. He pulled off the olive green T-shirt he wore beneath his utility shirt and washed it in the stream, then wrung it out and moved over to where she sat.

“Want to get rid of some of that dirt?” he asked, his teeth white against his darkened skin.

Alex nodded. “Please,” she murmured, grateful for his sensitivity to her needs. Jim positioned her near the water and wet her hair. Alex had never had her hair washed by a man, but she closed her eyes and languished in Jim's care. Taking the only dry piece of his green towel, he dried her hair. Alex managed to tame the damp strands into a semblance of order. As much as she wanted to talk, she knew it was impossible. Voices carried and could alert the VC.

“Okay,” Jim whispered finally. He tied the damp T-shirt around his web belt. Reaching over, he gripped Alex's hand. “Ready?” They were making good time, and she seemed to grow strong as the night wore on. Jim was sure the sulfa powder was finally wreaking havoc on that stubborn infection in Alex's wound. She seemed to be regaining her former strength.

Near 0400, Jim heard a strange noise. Instantly, he pulled Alex next to him. His eyes narrowed as he scoped out the thinning jungle around them. At first, he thought he was seeing things, then he realized he wasn't. His heart began a hard, steady thump in his chest. His grip on Alex tightened. Straight ahead of them rose a small hill out of the jungle floor. It was the marine firebase! The hill was no more than a mile away, barely outlined by the first hint of dawn on the horizon.

Another sound, a more lethal one, had caught Jim's attention. No more than a hundred feet away, ten VC walked quickly toward the hill, armed and ready to fight. He felt Alex's hand tighten on his arm. She'd seen the enemy, too. Looking around, Jim spotted a mild depression in the earth. It was a crater made by mortar at an earlier date, he was sure. Worriedly, he gestured for Alex to move into the depression as soon as the VC column passed.

Alex tried to steady her breathing as Jim situated her in the freshly churned earth and began dragging banana leaves, blown off by earlier explosions, across her. She reached out and captured his hand.

“What are you doing?” she demanded softly.

Jim lay on his belly, his head next to hers. “The firebase,” he gasped, “is about a mile away. VC are all around. They're gonna attack the marines.” He held her widening eyes. “Stay here. I'm going for help. I'll thread the needle through the VC and alert the company commander to what's goin' down. I'll tell him you're out here. With VC all around, the marines will shoot first and ask questions later. We don't know the code for safe entrance, Alex. I've got to try to get through. I'm not risking your life, too. Stay put! No matter what happens,
don't move.
Understand?”