Emily
The entire cab ride home, I ruminate over what had just transpired. My father has always been loving and supportive of me. It's just he's never around much to give it to me. His words of reassurance were exactly what I needed though, and I'm hoping he can talk my mother into backing off of me a bit.
Best of all, my father has basically sanctioned me to move forward with my Journalism degree. My mother's only argument against it was because it wasn't the "best" degree for his campaign. But that didn't seem to matter to him, so I'm not going to worry about it any further.
As I get out of the cab at my apartment, I reflect on my father's advice. To go after my dreams and the things I want, and to not let anyone stand in my way.
That is damned good advice.
Rather than going up to my apartment, I get in my car and decide to head across the river.
***
I knock on the door to Linc's apartment. I have no idea if Nix is even here, and if he is, I have no idea what I'm going to say to him. But I do think we need to talk about what's going on between us. Clearly, there is an insane mutual attraction and frankly, I need him to give me a better reason why we shouldn't act on it.
My father said to go get what I wanted and I want Nix Caldwell. And I don't feel the slightest bit trashy for it. This is all part of my collective plan to experience life and there is something that I believe I can learn from Nix.
And I'm not just talking about sex, although, if I can get him to capitulate, I'm sure it will be amazing. No, there is something about Nix that is captivating me. He's got more facets than the Hope Diamond and he intrigues the hell out of me. I know he says he's not relationship material, and I'm not even sure I'm looking for a relationship, but Nix has experiences and wisdom that go beyond anyone I've ever met. I want to figure him out. I want to learn from him.
And if we have sex along the way...that would be great too.
The door swings open and Nix is standing there. He's clearly surprised to see me and an array of emotions play across his beautiful face. First, something hot flares in his eyes, then it switches to wariness, then—if I'm not mistaken—there's anger.
Just great. He's pissed off that I showed up.
Instead of telling me to leave, however, he grabs my hand and pulls me into the apartment.
"What's wrong?" he asks. His voice is laced with worry, which catches me off guard.
Can't he just think I might want to come over to seduce him?
"What makes you think something is wrong?" I grumble.
"Because you've clearly been crying," he says gently.
Oh!
Now I'm off my game. I was completely empowered driving over here. I was going to go after what I wanted, just like my father told me to do. Although I'm sure he was not specifically thinking for me to go after a man when he told me that. Still, the principle of his advice is solid.
And now I don't know what to say. So I just stand there like an idiot.
"Emily, why were you crying?"
"Um...it's nothing. Just a little run in with my mother."
Still holding my hand, Nix leads me into the kitchen. He releases it and opens the fridge, pulling out a bottle of white wine. He pulls down a glass from the cabinet and fills it. Handing it to me, he says, "What happened?"
I didn't come over here to spill my family dirt to Nix. I don't want to get sidetracked from my mission. After a small sip of the wine—which is delicious by the way—I look Nix in the eye. "I want to resume discussions with you about us having sex."
"What the fuck, Emily?" Nix literally steps away from me as if I'm diseased. "And that's why you were crying?"
"What? No, that's not why I was crying. I was crying for something else that I don't want to talk about. I want to talk about sex."
Nix is staring at me as if my head is on fire. A combination of horror and odd curiosity. "You want to talk about sex?"
"Yes."
"I don't understand."
I blow out a pent up breath of frustration. "Are you purposely being obtuse?"
Nix doesn't answer but reaches in the fridge and pulls out a beer. He twists the cap off and throws it in the sink. He takes a long swallow and just stares at me. The muscle that sits just along his jawbone is popping.
Finally, he says, "There's nothing to talk about. We are not having sex."
"Now you're just being stubborn," I mutter. "All guys want to have sex."
The corners of his mouth twitch and it's nice to know he finds me so amusing. I clearly need to change tactics because I was hoping he would find me alluring and sexy.
What to do?
I know. I'll try some logic first, and if that doesn't work, maybe I'll just strip naked and see what happens.
"Let me ask you something, Nix."
"What's that?" I can tell he finds this line of questioning from me to be quite entertaining.
"Do you find me attractive?" I don't intend for it to happen necessarily but my voice is throaty...full of promise.
He stares at me hard, the jaw muscle popping faster. "Yes."
I'm thrilled just by that simple admission and it fuels me on.
"Have you thought about us having sex? You know...down and dirty style?" I throw that last bit in there to amp up the heat factor on my logical argument.
He swallows hard and his eyes turn a darker shade of moss. His voice is harsh when he says, "Yes."
"And do you imagine me...doing things to you?"
I'm not sure where that question came from. My plan to lay out a logical path of reasoning seems to have evaporated as I realize my questions are nothing more than an intense seduction so I can get what I want.
Sometimes I don't even realize the depths of depravity I will sink to.
I notice that Nix is gripping his beer bottle so hard that his knuckles are white.
"I imagine you doing a lot of things to me, Emily." Nix’s voice is low and guttural and it causes me to shiver. "What's your point in all of this?"
Hmmm...so he wants me to bring this to a logical conclusion after all? Well, you asked for it, Nix Caldwell.
I set my wineglass down on the counter and walk to him. I reach out and take his beer bottle from his hand. It slides easily from his fingers and I set it down next to my wine.
Stepping in close to him, he's looking down at me with such carnality, my knees almost buckle. We aren't touching anywhere but the physical heat swirling between our bodies is palpable, like the waves of hot air that roll off a blazing fire.
"My point is that I want the same things you do. We're not as different as you think we are."
Nix moves suddenly, bringing his hand up to the back of my head and grabs a fistful of hair. I gasp in shock and a thrill of hope runs through me. He slowly pulls my head back so my neck is exposed fully and I can't help but wonder if he's looking for my submission.
"What do you want from me?" His voice is hesitant, maybe a bit distrustful.
"Whatever you're willing to share with me, I'll take it. And I won't ever push you for anything more."
He studies me. His gaze flicks choppily between my eyes, trying to see if there is a lie somewhere. He looks briefly toward my lips, as if considering whether it's safe to kiss me, then he comes back to my eyes again.
Finally, he says, "I don't want to hurt you."
"You won't," I hastily assure him. "You can't. Not if I don't expect anything from you. I'm clear on that Nix, I promise."
He's on the edge, teetering. He needs just a tiny push. I step in closer to him, and press my body into his. His breath comes out in a mass exodus as he closes his eyes and grits his teeth. The man's self-control is amazing and I'm starting to feel like this may be an insurmountable mission on my part.
But before I can consider it any longer, Nix opens his eyes and pins me with a look that is resolute.
"Fuck it," he says, right before he slams his mouth down on mine.
I'm caught off guard. I was trying to gear myself up to either back away gracefully or amp up my seduction, so I am not ready for this onslaught. Regardless, my heart leaps in response to the knowledge he's made a decision and he's acting on it.
Nix loosens the grip on my hair, but it's only to spread his hand wide so he can hold my head in place. He takes his other arm and wraps it around my waist, pulling me tight into his body. I gasp when I feel his thickness press into my belly.
His kiss is brutal and I don't know if he's trying to scare me off or if he's just unleashing a firestorm of passion, but a small sound of pleasure bubbles low in my throat over his possession of me. And it is a possession in every sense of the word.
I notice that my hands are pinned between us and I work them out of the tight space so that I can wrap them around his neck. I scrape my nails along his scalp, feeling the slippery coolness of his hair in between my fingers.
Just as I'm getting accommodated to his body pressed to mine and to the way his tongue is sliding along my own, he drops both hands from me. I have no time to bemoan a protest because they immediately drop to my hips and grab fistfuls of my dress.
In one swift move, he pulls my dress up over my head and cool air blankets my exposed skin. Nix stares at me for a moment, running his eyes down my body. His tongue peeks out as he runs it over his bottom lip and I know he’s considering devouring me on the spot.
Nix raises his hands to my shoulders and strokes them feather light down my arms. My body practically convulses in response. His hands move around to my lower back, moving softly downward until they come to rest over both of my ass cheeks. They are still for just a moment, and then they dig in, almost painfully through my panties. The sensation is not unpleasant and I answer him with a hard yank to his hair. I’m rewarded with a lustful curse that falls from his mouth before he kisses me again.
See...I can do down and dirty.
"Christ, Emily. You're driving me crazy," he groans into my mouth as he grinds his pelvis against mine.
Keeping one hand on my ass, Nix moves the other to my stomach, his knuckles deftly grazing the top band of my underwear. I know the path he intends to take and my hips instinctively move in acknowledgment.
Moving his mouth from mine, he blazes soft kisses across the corner of my mouth, to my jaw, and then down the side of my neck. They are warm and promising kisses, and I start to melt against him. He licks and lightly sucks at my neck, all the while his fingers are flirting with the edge of my underwear. I'm tense, waiting for him to make a further move. I want to scream at him to move his hand but I have a feeling that Nix will always be in control and will only move at his own pace.
He slowly nibbles his way down to the muscle that lies between my neck and shoulder, feathering it lightly with his lips. His hand finally dips down into the front of my underwear and he brushes his fingers lightly over me, back and forth.
I’m about ready to scream from the tension and my muscles seem to be clamping and clenching on their own accord.
And then, without any warning, Nix bites down at that tender muscle on the side of my neck, just as a finger drives into me. The competing sensations have me screaming out and my hips slam hard against his hand, driving him deeper into me. He adds another finger while gently licking at the place where he bit.
I feel liberated as my almost naked body starts riding his fingers. I can feel my climax starting to build fast, centered right where the tips of his fingers are deep inside of me.
Nix lifts his head from my neck and looks at me. His eyes are molten and expectant as they forge a bond with mine. He dips back down, placing his lips against my own and murmurs, "Emily?"
I answer with a half grunt-half moan.
"Remember when you asked me if I thought about us getting down and dirty?"
"Y-e-e-s-s-s," I stammer, finding it difficult to talk while his fingers are pushing against something delicious inside of me.
"Want to know what I think about the most?"
Oh, God did I ever, but I can't even get the words out. I offer up a feline purr in response.
Before answering me, Nix moves his thumb over my center, lightly caressing me. He moves his mouth to my ear and whispers, "I think most about what you will look like when you come. I wonder if your eyes will flutter closed? Will you scream? And if you do scream...will it be my name that falls out of those beautiful lips?"
His thumb pushes against me hard, and the tense buildup inside of me implodes first and then bursts outward as I fragment into oblivion.
I'm pretty sure I call out Nix’s name as I throw may head back, numbly taking in the kitchen ceiling lights before closing my eyes. My hips continue to shallowly thrust against his hand while every last spark of my orgasm fires through me.
When I finally open my eyes, Nix’s face is hovering over mine. He’s wearing a triumphant look and his fingers are still deep inside of me.
"That was beautiful," he says reverently. "I want to see that again."
Those words...they are the most erotic thing I've ever heard and even though I'm deliciously spent, I want more. I jerk my hips against his hand so he knows without a doubt I want more and his eyes widen in surprise.
"Nix...let's move this into your bedroom, okay?"
He gives me the most breathtakingly stunning smile I've ever seen, and leans down to kiss me gently. He removes his hand from my underwear and I give a sad moan over the loss of contact.
"You are so fucking sexy, Emily. There are a million different ways I want to make you come for me."
He's calling me sexy? Oh, my God...I think I could have an orgasm just from his words. Nix grabs my dress from the floor and takes my hand. Before we even make it out of the kitchen, we hear a key working in the front door and I look to Nix in panic.
The door opens and we hear, "Hey, Nix, you asshole...I'm finally home."
No! No! No! No!
Linc is here...in the living room...with just a tiny wall between him and my near nakedness.
"Son of a bitch," Nix mutters.
My eyes are questioning when I look to him. He simply puts my dress over my head and pulls it down as I thread my arms through. He takes a moment to smooth his hands over it, pushing any wrinkles out of the way. He then looks at me and smoothes his hands over my hair, which must be a mess from the way he was fisting it.