Offside (8 page)

Her lips smashed together as she held in a grin. I watched as she bit into her lower lip as I took her hand and copied my father’s motions.

“A pleasure to meet you, Miss Skye,” I said with a smile. My lips brushed the back of her hand for a moment, and she apparently couldn’t hold in the laugh anymore. It literally exploded out of her, and her eyes went wide. Her hand quickly covered her mouth as a few other people looked over in her direction.

“Nicole…geez…” Her father patted her on the back. “You all right?”

“I’m fine, Dad,” she insisted. “It’s just…well, Thomas and I have biology class together. We’re partners on a project, so we already know each other.”

“Oh good!” my father said with a smile and some more beaming. “Thomas, why don’t you take Nicole over to the refreshments and maybe show her around a little?”

“My pleasure,” I responded, and I completely meant it. Nicole’s eyes widened again as my father put his hand on the sheriff’s shoulder and walked him toward another group of people. I held my arm out for Nicole. “Shall we?”

Her eyes narrowed a bit, but she accepted my offer.

“Would you like something to drink?” I asked as we walked over to the banquet tables. Nicole had her hand around my arm, loosely holding on to me. I felt giddy. “The iced tea is pretty good.”

“Sure,” she said. She looked up at me with slightly narrowed eyes. I poured two glasses and then led her over to one of the balconies. I held the door for her, and she walked through, still eyeing me kind of warily.

“You look exceptionally lovely this evening,” I told her.

Nicole’s eyes went wide for a second.

“Um…thank you,” she said. She gave me another strange look. “You look really good in a tux.”

I gave her a half-smile.

“Thanks,” I replied. “I only wear it to this banquet and the occasional wedding.”

“And a real bow tie?” she noticed. “Do you even know how to tie it?”

My mind flashed through my altercation with Dad before we got here. I allowed it to flow because sometimes trying to push it back was just too hard.

“Yes, I do.”

“That’s kind of cool.”

“Mom insisted I know how to do it,” I heard myself blurt out and immediately wished I could take it back.

“So, is your mom here tonight?” Nicole asked. She took a sip of her tea.

I stiffened a second. My throat tightened up on me. I wasn’t used to anyone asking about her. We lived in such a small community, and everyone knew the story, so I was never questioned about it.

“Um…no…uh…my mom’s dead.”

“Oh shit!” Nicole spit tea and tried to catch it dribbling down her chin. I couldn’t help but smile a bit as she pawed at her face and her dress to get it off while simultaneously nearly spilling more of it as she tried not to drop the glass at the same time. “I’m so sorry, Thomas! I had no idea!”

“It’s all right,” I replied. Her messy display had lightened the mood but couldn’t completely stop the lingering memories. “It’s been a while.”

“Still…wow…I’m really sorry.” She wiped the liquid from the front of her dress. For a couple of minutes, we just stood there in an awkward silence and looked out over the balcony rail at the river beyond. My mind was going at top speed, trying to figure out what I was supposed to do in this situation. What was my part? What were my lines? Was I supposed to tell her more?

I couldn’t keep it in, and eventually some of the overflow spilled out.

“It was a car wreck,” I said. I couldn’t call it an accident. If it weren’t for me, it never would have happened, so it wasn’t a fucking accident. “I was twelve at the time.”

“What happened?” she asked quietly.

Too much.

Reaching down and grasping the railing to steady my hands, I looked out over the river. I tensed inside, trying to keep the memory from coming back—literally squeezing it out of my head until my temples began to throb.

“I’m sorry,” Nicole said. “You don’t have to talk about it.”

I swallowed past my clenched throat. I didn’t want to think about it—I didn’t want to trigger the memory—but I still wanted her to know. I didn’t know why I wanted her to know, only that I did.

“She hit a tree,” I said through clenched teeth. I didn’t look at her—I just kept staring at the water and listening to it cascade over the rocks. My head was really throbbing, and the effort to keep the scenes out of my conscious mind was excruciating.

I felt a cool touch against my arm and glanced down to see Nicole’s fingers slowly running up and down my forearm. The muscles in my arm were hard and tense as I squeezed the railing, but as she touched me, my grip loosened and I started to relax. I watched her slender fingers as they brushed over the hairs on the top of my hand.

“I didn’t mean to pry,” her soft voice sang up to me. I shook my head slightly, unable to find any words. She must have misunderstood, because she pulled her hand back, running it nervously down her side.

I didn’t want her to let go of me.

I wanted her to touch me again because the pain in my head was gone, and the memories weren’t still trying to push through. I wanted to touch her to see if her skin was really as soft as it looked. I wanted to feel the coolness of her hands, still moist from the condensation of her glass in contrast to the warmth of her body.

Inside, music began to play as couples joined on the dance floor.

“Would you like to dance?” I asked her suddenly.

“Dance?” She took a step back. “Ah…I don’t dance.”

“Why not?”

“Um…I don’t know how?” Her words came out as a question.

“You don’t need to know how,” I told her. “I’ll show you.”

“I don’t think—”

“Please?” I asked as I held out my hand. I just wanted to touch her again…just for a few minutes.

“Okay,” she finally said as she placed her hand in mine. I led her out to the dance floor and placed my hand at her waist.

“Put your hand on my shoulder,” I instructed, and she complied. I took her other hand in mine, feeling the coolness of her fingers. “That’s it.”

She was tense at first, stumbling a little, but it was only a few measures before she relaxed, allowed me to lead, and really began to look stunningly graceful as I twirled her around. She smiled up at me, and then her eyes went abruptly dark.

“What’s the deal, Malone?” she asked suddenly.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…are you even the same guy I’ve seen at school?”

“Well…yes, obviously!” I laughed.

“You are going to make my head explode,” she mumbled.

“Excuse me?” I questioned back.

“You are a total jerk at school,” she pointed out.

I laughed through my nose.

“Don’t hold back,” I advised. “It’ll give you ulcers.”

“You are an ass on the field.”

“That’s a whole different costume,” I replied without thinking.

“Costume?” Nicole stopped her rant long enough to look up at me with her brow furrowed.

I glanced down and tapped the lapel of my tuxedo jacket with my thumb.

“This is a whole different costume from my team uniform,” I explained.

“So what,” she exclaimed, “you become a whole other person because you are in a different…
costume
?”

The Bard’s words rolled off my tongue without permission.

“All the world’s a stage, Rumple,” I said with a wink.

“And all the men and women merely players,” she continued. She smiled and raised her eyebrows at me.

I spun her around in a slow circle and then brought her back close.

“They have their exits and their entrances,” I quoted. “And one man in his time plays many parts.”

Her smile broadened, and she was stunning. My chest clenched, and breathing became more difficult. I lost my step in the dance.

I wanted to know her.

I wanted her to know
me.

Not the jerk at school.

Not the guy in the tux.

Not the goalie on the field.

Just
me
.

But I didn’t know who that was.

As my mind raced, the idea of spending more time with her and just…
talking
to her became more and more appealing. At the same time, it terrified me. I could see myself telling Nicole quite a bit—maybe far too much. What would she think of my drawings? Did she like classical music? Would she think it was all just a stupid waste of time? What if she found out how messed up my head was? She already thought I was an ass, and I couldn’t really deny the fit of the name—I was certainly no sweet-smelling rose. What would she think if she knew even my own father couldn’t stand me? What if she found out why he hated me so much?

What would she think if she found out I killed my own mother?

In Shakespeare’s
The Merchant of Venice
, Launcelot said, “but at the length truth will out.” Somehow, I would have to keep her in the dark about how horrible I really was.

Now how could I do that?

CHAPTER 5

HOOLIGANS

“You gonna pop that little cherry?” Dad asked as we drove from the banquet.

“Fuck yeah,” I replied automatically.

“Damn,” Dad laughed, “that would seriously piss off her father.”

“Heh,” I smiled a little and wet my lips with my tongue. “Yeah, it would.”

“Well, get her worked up so she’ll do your biology work,” Dad said. “You need to keep your focus, but string her along a bit if it doesn’t get in the way. Greg was going on about how smart she was, so if you play the game right, maybe she could take care of your other homework, too.”

“Yeah, that would be good,” I said. I nodded in agreement as my mind relived every moment I had experienced with her.

Seeing her in the hoodie, behind my goal.

The warmth of her touch when I ran into her and the deep blue of her eyes as they looked up at me.

Trying to ignore me during class.

The smell of her hair as I leaned close and asked her if she was wet.

The look of incredulity as I held the door open and asked her to dance.

“Just keep the focus on the important stuff, son,” Dad said. “You know how cherries are. If she gets clingy or something, ditch her before she becomes a distraction.”

“I don’t do clingy,” I heard myself respond, “but a little cherry sounds appetizing.”

“Damn straight.” Dad chuckled a bit more but didn’t mention Nicole again.

Thankfully.

I relaxed a little since Dad seemed to be in good spirits. It was pretty late by the time we arrived home, so I headed straight to bed to watch the day’s re-runs. I closed my eyes and felt the cool slickness of her fingers as they curled around my shoulder. I felt her initial resistance and eventual relaxation as she let me guide her body on the dance floor. I saw her smile and detected a faint hint of some kind of perfume…flowers or herbs…I wasn’t sure until I went back further.

Lilac.

Mom planted one of those shrubs at our old house.

I opened my eyes and reached my hand across the bed and down to the nightstand. I pulled out my sketchbook and started to draw. First there was the angle of her head as she tilted it slightly to the side, exposing her neck to me as I held her in the proper waltz position. There were the curls of her hair, flowing softly over her shoulders as she spun in a circle. Of course, there was also the vision of her teeth, partially embedded in her lower lip as she looked up at me in contemplation.

I didn’t stop until it was time for my morning run.

As I ran, I pushed...hard. When I checked my times, my average mile was five minutes forty seconds. Good deal. I tried to keep my eyes peeled as I ate some cereal for breakfast and tried to gauge Dad's mood. He glanced at my pedometer and gave me a nod, so at least that was good.

“I'm heading to the hospital,” he told me. “I probably won't be back until late.”

“No problem,” I replied.

“You do your weight training this morning?”

“It's my off-day,” I said. “No weights until tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah.” He grumbled something else, but I couldn't hear what he said. I wasn't going to ask.

After he left, I got the laundry going and went grocery shopping. The mums were still on sale, so I bought two pots of them. As I drove past Nicole's house, I saw both her dad's cruiser and her car were gone, so I left one of the pots on her porch and headed home.

A few hours of FIFA 2013 on the Wii and several loads of laundry later, I did my homework and finally thought about the biology project again. I wondered if Nicole had actually waited for me at the library and I had missed her, or if she really did just stand me up on purpose. I hadn't thought to ask her last night. I pulled out my laptop and started looking for interesting organisms. I was tempted to look up orgasms but contained myself. Vertebrates were boring, so I discounted those altogether. Maybe something weird like euglena or sea cucumbers or something would be good. I wondered what Rumple would want to use for the project subject, which made me realize I didn't even have her phone number.