OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (14 page)

Just said goodbye to Keith! We gave each other a big hug and he said, “I'll see you soon!” And then he was gone.

What do I feel?

I should feel emotional. But I feel slightly annoyed with him. He can be a dull preachaholic. He seems to love snails more than humans. He saw the postman tread on one and went mental. This is the postman that didn't sue a Dobermann when he tried to eat his ankle. Everyone knows when there's canine blame there's a claim! BUT though Keith's really annoyed me at times, he has been sweet at times and he HAS tried. BUT I don't want to upset the people I love any more. I even don't want to upset Nathan.

I'm letting Keith do all the work now. HE can contact ME. He can prove he cares. It's the right thing to do and it's also totally feminist.

Freak the gecko is eating again! Perhaps he was bored to tears by Keith too!

MGK apparently cried for 3 hours as she felt such a deep personal connection with her “dad”. This must be because she thinks he's a secret millionaire or something. Like Walter the tramp, who played the xylophone on the bench opposite the main post office every day and ended up leaving £3.2 million to the cats' home.

Anyway I had a full conversation with Dimple and Jen about my dad. It's all right for them. They've had dads they have always known.

Only Goose really gets it.

Anyway I am not going to think about THE WHOLE KEITH/DAD THING!

BTW – got my clay project back today after it had been fired (put in a big oven and cooked to Gran-pastry hardness standards). I hadn't made a Princess, a gecko or a snake. I'd made a pet wiggly line. I've given it to Mum.

She said she was going to use it to unblock the sink then she gave me a massive cuddle.

Mum gets it. She was crap at Art too.

I am still not thinking about KEITH.

RIGHT – time for LOVE. Massive FULL-ON CONCENTRATE ON THIS LOVE. It's A MAN FOR HATTIE.

Sorry, Mum, I don't care about the failure of your savoury muffins. I have tuned out. Though it's obvious that Cheddar cheese and jalapeños won't work. We want double, double chocolate with double chocolate chips.

Actually, Mum, I WILL try one of your savoury muffins.

I've just eaten a bit of it and told her it was lovely. It wasn't. I've hidden the rest in the airing cupboard. It's difficult thinking about your mum's feelings. It's even more difficult on your taste buds.

Perhaps I should text Goose and see if geckos like savoury muffins as a side dish to complement their live crickets.

No, Hattie Moore – that's just an excuse and you know it is.

Mum just tried to give me a savoury muffin for breakfast. She has about 30 of them. I predict they will die in the back of the freezer and we will only see them again when she defrosts it in about 3 years' time! Then she will bin them.

I took one though “for school”. I am trying.

OMG!

1.   Gran has set up a “World According to Princess” Twitter account!

2.   Dimple is acting really oddly. I know I've been spending a lot of time with my family and I've ignored her a bit but she's being really secretive. It's like something is going on in her life but she can't actually tell me. We've never had big secrets before. She can tell me anything.

Except for, “Hattie, I've been asked out by the boy who you have fancied for AGES but I didn't tell you.” BUT that was last year. We are at a totally different stage now. Our relationship has moved on.

I asked Weirdo Jen about Dimple. She said she felt the same. Her vibes have felt off. I thought Dimple might have told Jen something but Jen promised on her life without crossed toes that she hadn't. Jen means that. She totally believes that if you lie on your life something like a piano will fall on your head the next day.

I don't want to tell her that I tell white lies EVERY DAY and no musical instrument has ever attacked me.

That's not true. Nicky “bad boy” Bainton hit me on the head with his recorder about 2 years ago. Perhaps he IS actual karma.

No, he's just an idiot. You don't expect a thump on the head during a round of “London's Burning”.

I just checked Princess's Twitter account. She has tweeted:

It's been favourited by 28 people and retweeted by 7.

I give up.

Dimple hasn't updated her Facebook status ALL night. She must be talking to someone.

WHO?

I texted Dimple to see if she fancied coming over. She's doing extra Bollywood dance classes. Her parents are so strict – it's the only time she's allowed to get out.

There's more to it though.

Dimple, there is something you are not telling me and I WILL FIND OUT!

And if it's a boy I may be a little bit annoyed and worried.

OMG – please don't let it be Goose.

No. I'm just being silly. Dimple hates creepy-crawlies. A money spider makes her scream, let alone an actual thing with a tail and a 10-metre tongue.

Talking of things with tails and 10-metre tongues, MGK is following Princess on Twitter. And I mean MGK not Princess. LOL!

Gran's Princess Twitter account now has 12,724 followers.

She thinks she's rich. I said, “Gran – how?” She said, “Hattie – it's the Internet. I'm going to make SERIOUS MOOOOOO-LLLARRR.” I said, “But HOW, Gran?” She couldn't tell me. She just thinks that someone will offer her millions for her idea.