OMG! I'm in Love with a Geek! (37 page)

Had a Chinese. Watched a DVD.

At 10.12 p.m. Dimple said, “Shall we call it a night then?” and everybody said, “YES.”

Came home.

I'm not happy.

Goose just got in and he was laughing on the phone. I banged the wall. He shut up.

Apparently the prom was amazing. Unbelievable. The best night ever and the photos on Facebook look…

They look GLAM-FABULOUS.

OMG – there's a photo of Matfield doing the conga. She's laughing.

It's 9.45 a.m. and I'm going to bed again. Goodnight.

I went to see Gran this afternoon. She said I should just get over it. “They had a good night, Hattie – you didn't. That's how it goes sometimes. Sometimes you win the jackpot. Sometimes you don't even get a line. Life is a lot like bingo.” Then she gave me 10 quid for doing well in my exams.

I feel better. The prom will be forgotten by tomorrow.

Dimple said that Kate Friars tried to snog Tom Lacey at the prom – and SNEEZED instead. There's a film of it going round. Even Kate thinks it is LOL!

The prom will probably be forgotten by about Wednesday.

FULL DRAMA!

Dimple's mum used a birthing ball as a space hopper bouncing toy at the antenatal class this afternoon and was admitted to hospital. Dimple says she's usually so sensible but this pregnancy has made her go mental. Last week she spent 2 days in her pyjamas watching the box set of
Downton Abbey
with the TV on mute and old '80s albums on. Apparently she started crying during a song called “True” by Spanx Ballet or something.

Spandau Ballet. Spanx is what she needs after giving birth. Mum says your belly is never right again. I know that, Mum. I've seen Gran. She's like a massive deflated balloon after a party.

A hairy massive deflated balloon. She doesn't even have Brazilians any more. The college where she had it done cheaply stopped doing them. Apparently they had a record number of people leaving last year in the middle of the course. I wonder why! LOL!

Mum says my exam results are good enough for a CLOTHES BINGE! I'm a bit worried she will want me to buy a full-body burka swimsuit. She'll pretend it's to shield me from the sun but it's actually to shield me from boys.

Gran has crocheted me a bikini.

Mum is going to use it as a tea towel. She'll hide it when Gran comes round.

Mum has asked me to make a list of clothes I need for Australia. I am compiling it today with the help of Dimple.

At the moment it is:

1.  A very brilliant bikini that makes me Queen Gorgeousness.

My brother has given me a book about dangerous Australian animals! There's an OCTOPUS that can KILL you and you don't even know it's stung you till you are actually dead! Scary!

MY CLOTHING LIST:

1.  6 bikinis

2.  2 cut-out swimsuits

3.  A wetsuit

4.  2 pairs of sunglasses

5.  4 halter necks

6.  3 vintage-style dresses

7.  4 pairs of skinny jeans

8.  5 pairs of shorts

9.  A boogie board

10. An inflatable boat

It's probably better to get the boogie board and the inflatable boat in Australia.

MGK has tweeted that sun and salt water make your hair really dry and can be prematurely ageing.

She knows I want to go sailing and surfing in Australia. She tries to ruin everything by threatening beauty DOOM. Bet she's lying!

No – I've googled it. She's right! Perhaps she was trying to actually HELP me!

No. She wasn't. She was just showing off her glam knowledge.

I think I'd rather have a laugh and worry about the wrinkles later.

OMG – I am now naturally feminist and often think brilliantly without trying!

Someone has made a YouTube prom photo compilation.

The prom will NEVER be forgotten.

SHOPPING DAY!

Mum had a totally predictable meltdown over EVERY bikini I liked. She said they were too revealing! Eventually I said, “No problem, Mum – I will go nude. It's the only way to get an all-over tan.”

After I said THAT we finally found one that she thought was “appropriate”!

Just want to say I would NEVER go nude in real life. I can stuff a bikini full of Plenty kitchen towel to give me more boob if I'm desperate. I've tried it before.

Trouble is Plenty would try to soak up half the sea – I'd end up with soggy, uneven double-Fs.

OMG – DOUBLE-Fs WOULD BE AMAZEBALLS!