On Her Own (27 page)

Aaron stared straight ahead, not budging from his seat. Zachary kept eating his soup, apparently unaware of the tension that permeated the room.

Barbara grimaced. She’d thought her oldest boy was doing better lately, but apparently she’d been wrong. She opened her mouth to reprimand Aaron, but Paul spoke first.

“Your mother’s right. You do owe your brother an apology. And you owe your mamm one, too, for not doing as she told you.”

Aaron compressed his lips into a thin line as he sat in his chair, unmoving.

Paul crossed the room, pulled out a chair beside the boy, and sat down. “This is not acceptable behavior. What have you got to say for yourself?”

Aaron’s shoulders slumped as he stared at the table.

Paul glanced at Barbara with a questioning look. He seemed to be asking for her permission to handle the situation.

“Go ahead, if you don’t mind,” she said, grabbing the closest chair and pushing it over to the sink. Joseph climbed onto the chair, and she helped him fill the dishpan with soap and water.

Silence reigned at the table, and Barbara wondered if she’d made a mistake letting Paul take charge of things. When she was
certain Joseph could handle the dishes on his own, she took a seat across from Aaron.

“I don’t know why you’re acting this way,” she said sternly, “but I will not have you disobeying or spouting off like this; is that clear?”

The boy nodded soberly.

Paul touched Aaron’s arm, but he jerked it away and glared at Paul. “You ain’t my daed.”

Paul opened his mouth, and so did Barbara, but before either could speak, Aaron pushed his chair aside and raced out the back door.

P
aul stared out the kitchen window. “My mamm always said I ought to learn to keep my big mouth shut. Now I’ve made the boy real mad.”

“It’s not your fault,” Barbara said, joining him at the window. “Aaron started acting moody and belligerent after David died. I thought he was getting better.” She shrugged and sighed. “Guess I was wrong.”

“Maybe I should go after him.”

Barbara shook her head. “I think it’s best if we let him be by himself awhile.”

“But who’s gonna help me with the dishes?” Joseph spoke up from his place at the sink.

Paul crossed the room and patted the boy’s shoulder. “You wash, and I’ll dry. How’s that sound?”

Joseph grinned up at him. “I’d like that.” He looked over at Zachary, still sitting at the table, dawdling with his bowl of soup. “Hurry up, ya slowpoke. We need them dishes.”

“Let’s get the ones in the sink done first,” Paul suggested. “By then, maybe your little brother will be finished.”

“Okay.”

If only my oldest son would be so compliant
, Barbara thought.
Is it Aaron’s personality to be so negative and defiant, or have I failed him somehow? If David were still alive, would things be any different? Probably so, since Aaron and his father were always close, and Aaron was willing to do most anything his father asked of him
.

Just then the baby began to cry. Barbara turned her attention to the precious bundle lying in the carriage across the room. “I need to feed and change Davey,” she said to Paul. “If you’ll excuse me, I’ll be upstairs for a while.”

He nodded as he took another clean dish from Joseph. At least Barbara hoped the boy was getting them clean.

“Maybe by the time you come back to the kitchen, Aaron will have returned,” Paul said in a reassuring tone.

Barbara felt his strength and kindness surround her like a warm quilt. For one wild moment, she had the crazy impulse to lean her head against his chest and feel the warmth of his embrace.

Pushing the ridiculous notion aside, she scooped the baby into her arms. “I shouldn’t be gone too long.”

Paul glanced at the clock on the wall above the refrigerator. It
was almost seven. He really should be getting home so he could do any final chores for the day. Barbara had been gone nearly an hour, and so had Aaron. It was possible that she might have fallen asleep while feeding the baby, but why wasn’t that insolent boy back yet?

“Hey, watch what you’re doin’!” Joseph shouted.

Paul turned just in time to see Zachary chomp down on a piece of puzzle, leaving an obvious tooth mark on one end.

“Give me that!” Joseph reached across his little brother and snatched the puzzle piece from his mouth.

“You’re not supposed to eat the puzzle,” he said with a grunt.

“Hungerich,”
Zachary whined.

“I don’t care if you are hungry,” Joseph grumbled. “You should have eaten more of your supper.”

Zachary’s lower lip quivered, and his eyes pooled with tears.

Joseph shot Paul a beseeching look. “Can he have a cookie?”

Paul shrugged. “I—I guess it would be all right. Where does your mamm keep the cookies?”

Joseph pointed to the cupboard across the room.

“Okay. I’ll see if there are any.” Paul made his way across the room and opened the cupboard door. Inside, he found a green ceramic jar with a matching lid. He opened it and discovered a batch of chocolate chip cookies. He set the jar on the table, dipped his hand inside, scooped out four cookies, and set two in front of each of the boys. Then he opened the back door and stepped onto the porch. He saw no sign of Aaron.

He stuck his head inside the kitchen doorway. “Joseph, I’m going to run over to your grandma and grandpa’s place a minute. Will you and Zachary be all right?”

The boy’s head bobbed up and down. “We’ll be fine. Mama’s just upstairs, ya know.”

“Okay. I’ll be back quick as a wink.” Paul bounded off the porch and raced over to the Rabers’ house. He pounded on the door several times, but no one answered. Then he remembered that Barbara had said her folks were going out for supper. They probably weren’t back yet.

Paul thought about looking for Aaron in the barn or harness shop, but he didn’t want to leave Zachary and Joseph alone that long.

“I’d better get back inside,” he muttered, turning toward Barbara’s house. “No telling what those two little boys are up to.”

When he entered the kitchen again, Paul discovered the children had helped themselves to more cookies and a glass of milk. Joseph had a white mustache on his upper lip, and Zachary’s face was dotted with chocolate. Cookie crumbs were strewn all over the table, and a puddle of milk lay under Zachary’s chair.

Paul grabbed a dishrag from the kitchen sink and tossed it to Joseph. “You’d better get this mess cleaned up before your mamm comes downstairs.”

While Joseph sopped up the milk, Zachary continued to nibble on his cookie.

Paul pulled a towel off the rack under the sink, dampened it with water, and sponged off the younger boy’s face. He’d just finished when Barbara entered the kitchen.

“The boppli’s asleep in his crib, and—” She halted and stared at her sons. “Looks like you’ve had yourselves a little party while I was gone.”

“Kichlin,”
Zachary announced, licking his fingers.

“Jah, I see you’ve been eating some cookies.”

“I gave them two apiece when Zachary said he was hungry, and I made the mistake of leaving the cookie jar on the table while I went outside to see if Aaron had gone over to your folks’ place,” Paul explained. “Guess they must have helped themselves to a few more after I left the house.”

Barbara glanced around the room. “Aaron’s not back yet?” A look of alarm showed clearly on her face.

Paul took the dishrag and towel back to the sink and turned to face her. “I thought about going out to the barn or harness shop to look for Aaron, but I didn’t want to leave the younger ones alone that long.”

Barbara’s gaze went to the window. “I’m worried.”

“Tell me where his favorite places are, and I’ll see if I can find him,” Paul said. His chores could wait. Right now, finding the boy was more important.

“Let’s see. . . . He likes to play in the barn.” Barbara massaged her forehead, making little circles with the tips of her fingers. “He enjoys being in the harness shop, of course.”

“I’ll look around the yard real good, head out to the shop, and then check the barn.” Paul moved toward the back door. “Try not to worry. I’m sure he’s fine.”

As Paul made his way across the yard, he thought about his plan to speak with Barbara about their relationship. It didn’t look like he was going to get that chance. Not tonight, anyway.

Barbara had been pacing the kitchen floor for the last half hour.
Where was Aaron, and why wasn’t Paul back with a report? She was tempted to gather up the boys and go looking herself, but the baby was asleep, and the other two needed to be put to bed, as well.

She glanced out the window one more time. It was getting dark, and since no gas lamps glowed in any of her folks’ windows, she assumed they still weren’t back from town. She had been watching for them, hoping her father could join Paul in the search for Aaron. Or maybe Mom could stay with the children while Barbara helped the men look.

Barbara closed her eyes and clasped her hands tightly together.
Please, Lord, let my boy be okay
.

“Mama, Zachary’s hidin’ pieces of puzzle on me,” Joseph whined.

“Nee,” Zachary retorted.

“Jah, you are so.”

“Nee.”

“Uh-huh. I seen you slip one onto your chair. And you tried to eat a puzzle piece awhile ago.”

Zachary shook his head.

“Jah, you sure did. Ya left a tooth mark in it, too.”

Zachary opened his mouth and let out an ear-piercing screech.

“Stop it!” Barbara’s hands shook. She forced herself to breathe deeply and count to ten. No good could come from yelling at the boys just because she was upset over Aaron’s disappearance.

This is my fault
, she thought miserably.
I should have sent Aaron to his room as soon as he started mouthing off. I’ll never forgive myself if anything bad has happened to him
.

Paul closed the door of the harness shop. Aaron wasn’t in the shop, and as far as he could tell, the boy wasn’t anywhere in the yard. Paul had checked every conceivable hiding spot outdoors, so he decided that his next stop would be the barn. If Aaron wasn’t there, he didn’t know where else to look.

Maybe he wandered off the property and headed down the road to his friend Gabe’s. If he’s not in the barn, I’d better hitch my horse to the buggy and go there
.

Paul entered the barn. It was dark and smelled of hay and animals. He cupped his hands around his mouth. “Aaron, are you in here?”

The only response was the gentle nicker from the buggy horses.

Paul located a lantern and struck a match. A circle of light encompassed the area where he stood. He held the lantern overhead and moved slowly about the building. “Aaron!” he called several times.

No answer.

As he continued to circle the barn, looking in every nook and cranny, Paul noticed the door to the silo was open. On a hunch, he stepped through the opening.

“Anybody here?” he hollered.

“Help!”

Paul cocked his head and listened.

“Help me, please!”

“Aaron, is that you?”

“Jah. I’m up here.”

Paul held the light overhead and looked up into the empty silo. His heart nearly stopped beating when he saw Aaron standing on the top rung of the ladder.