On the Edge (23 page)

Time is a strange thing that sometimes moves so quickly, and yet, at other times, it seems to drag. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to how it moves. As I look around my bedroom in the Knight home, memory after memory of how I came to be here six months ago wash over me. I never once dreamed that a single phone call to my brother would change my life so dramatically.

I have received the official acceptance letter and my scholarship paperwork from UCLA, and if just a few hours, I leave. I have lied to Cole for months now, telling him I’ve given up UCLA. I’ve done everything possible to avoid fighting with him because I didn’t want to ruin what time we had left together. His family has completely accepted me as part of them. Bruce has become very special to me these last months. He is the father, no, the parent I’ve never had before. That man took in a complete stranger and embraced me as one of his own. Bruce is also the only person I have trusted with the knowledge that I still plan to go to UCLA.

My mind drifts back to the conversation we had a few months back.

I’m a nervous wreck as I stand in front of Bruce’s office and knock on the door.

“Come in,” Bruce calls out.

I open the door and close it softly behind me.

“Kat, what can I do for you?”

I swallow, suddenly feeling as if the paperwork in my hand weighs a ton. I walk towards the desk and thrust them at Bruce. He takes them, looking a little confused until he glances at them, and then a small grin forms across his face. When he looks at me, I’m still standing there, nervously twisting my hands.

“Sit down and let’s talk,” Bruce says in a soft voice.

I fall back in a chair, only to fidget and nervously tap my toe. To make matters worse, I can’t seem to find my voice.

“It’s all done? You should be proud of everything you accomplished to get this far.”

I just stare at him, not certain that I can speak without crying because I feel myself fighting back tears. I don’t cry!

“You’re leaving my son, aren’t you?” Bruce finally asks. I’m afraid to look at him. “Look at me, Kat.”

I slowly lift my head and meet his eyes. Nothing but kindness and maybe understanding reflect back to me.

“What do you need from me?”

“I need your help I need you to help me leave I need your help to keep Cole from stopping me I love him so much, but I’ll
never
make it through school if I have to deal with him He won’t let me go in the first place I know I’ll cave, so I’m not telling him until the last minute.”

This all comes out in one long, fast blur of words. I’m essentially setting myself up for a broken heart. Cole isn’t going to forgive me for choosing UCLA over him. I didn’t want it to come to this, but he’s forced my hand.

“Are you sure that is what you want to do, Kat? You know my son isn’t going to take this well. Are you ready to face that?”

I gulp, but I know Bruce is speaking the truth. “If, after four years, he’s moved on, then I won’t return. I’ll just stay in California so I don’t have to live where I might see him going on with his life. I love him, I really do, but I’m not going to miss this opportunity to expand my world view.” I’m almost shouting at the end. Bruce walks around to my side of the desk, and gently pulls me into a hug.

“You will
always
have my support and the Knights will
always
protect you. I’ll help you. I think you should give Cole a chance to come to terms with this and let him have a say so in what happens between the two of you, but I won’t make you stay.”

I sag against Bruce in relief and I feel moisture on my face and realize I’m crying because I know deep down this is it. I won’t be coming back to Belmont.

True to his word, Bruce has helped make all the arrangements for me to get out to UCLA and arranged a bank account that he will fund as long as I maintain my grades and scholarship. This is very generous of him, but I realize, that to him, I’m family. He loves me as if I’m one of his own children.

Speaking of his children, I feel bad that I’ve not told any of them I’m leaving for California in just under forty-eight hours. Julie’s going to be hurt that I’m leaving without telling her, but I plan to keep in touch with her daily and visit with her as much as I can. She’ll always be an important part of my life. She’ll be attending school in New York, and Bruce plans to send a guard with her. That is the only thing that gives me peace.

After her kidnapping, Julie’s changed. Some things worry me but I trust that she’ll be okay in the long run. She’s gone from the spoiled princess to a wilder, crazier version of herself. Many weekends, Justin and I have hunted her down at a party and pulled her out of a sticky situation.

Justin is going to be pissed at me for leaving. He’ll understand why I’m sneaking off the way I am. He knows his brother will never let me go. Too many times in the last few months, Cole has shown just how possessive he is of me, and how jealous he is of his own brother. It’s ridiculous, but I don’t let him keep me from teasing and treating Justin the way I want.

Seth, my precious little boy. I’m going to miss him the most. He won’t understand my leaving. Bruce has promised that he will bring Seth to visit me regularly and make sure we talk daily. He’s already told Ms. Bea to add my calls to Seth’s schedule. I just hope that I can live without that sweet face for four years. I’m heartbroken at just the thought of leaving him.

Last but not least, my brother, Drew, understands my true need to leave because he’s the one who first encouraged me to do this. He’s told me that it’s okay to change my mind and stay with Cole. I can’t. I have to stick to my plan, even if it means instant heartbreak for me. I have faith that my brother and I will be separated by nothing but miles for the next four years.

Cole is going to be livid. I don’t know how I’m going to handle the whole leaving him behind. There is nothing but heartbreak in my future. Cole will not take my leaving well. In fact, I’m really scared to know what he will do. This past week, he’s questioned me several times about my actions. I know I’ve been acting different. I’ve been busy keeping my secret and it’s made me act shady with Cole. I won’t let him spend the night in my room at the mansion because I don’t want him to see that I’m packing. I spend most nights at his house and then come back to the mansion during the day. He constantly asks if I’m okay.

I’m tired of lying to everyone and telling them I’m fine when I’m not. I’m leaving behind the only family who has ever loved me. They’ve treated me with nothing but kindness. If Cole moves on in the next four years, it will be nothing less than I deserve. I’ve made him wait for me for six months only to completely bail on him the day after we reach this point. Yes, I’m a complete and total bitch. In the long run, he’ll be better off without me.

Tonight, Bruce has rented out a ballroom at a nearby hotel. He’s throwing a send-off party for Julie, although secretly, it’s for me as well.

Cole and I have arranged a suite for us. He knows tonight is the night that I want to give myself wholly to him. It’s time. I’m not sure how we lasted this long. I love Cole with every ounce of my being and it’s going to kill me to leave.

I walk out of my room, giving it one last look as this is the last time I will be in it for a while. I glance around and sigh softly with a bittersweet smile on my face. The memories I’ve created since being here are some of the happiest memories I have in my short life. I close the door softly and walk down the stairs.

Thirty minutes later, we pull up outside the hotel. I walk in with Bruce, Julie, and Justin and heads turn our way. Women swoon as they stare at Bruce and Justin. The shift in the room is obvious as Bruce walks in. Everyone’s eyes are on him, watching him with nothing but respect as we walk towards the ballroom Bruce has rented.

He’s gone all out with this party. Decorated completely in black and white, buffet tables piled with food and a bar flowing with drinks of all kinds line the room. A DJ pumps dance music in the corner of the room and the majority of our former classmates are here already having a good time. Some sit at tables chatting and eating, while a few are already braving the dance floor.

Cole, standing by the bar with my brother, is who catches my attention. He’s wearing tight jeans with a long-sleeved, button up, black shirt with the sleeves rolled up so the bottom half of his tattoo sleeves are visible. My core clenches in desire as I stare at Cole across the room. As if sensing my gaze, he looks up, catching my eye, and a soft smile crosses his face when I walk over to my man.

He meets me halfway, takes me in his arms, and kisses me in a way that makes my knees weak and my toes curl. I’m ready to fuck him. Tonight is the night. I want to take that memory with me. I don’t want to regret never having sex with the first and only guy I will ever love. I know, right at this moment, that no man will ever be what Cole is to me. A small part of me hopes Cole will get over my deception and be ready for me to come back to him in four years, but I’m living in a dream world. Cole will only see my act as a betrayal and never forgive me.

As the kiss ends, Cole and I stand there breathless. Others at the party try to pretend they didn’t just witness us consuming each other. I back away from him and smile.

“I want to get lost in you. I want us to lock ourselves in the suite, Cole,” I say quietly in his ear.

He jerks back, looks me in the eyes, and searches my face. He’s searching for what I’m really trying to say. I lean into him again.

“It’s time, Cole. I want you to make me yours in every way possible.”

His eyes immediately darken. He picks me straight up, throws me over his shoulder, and bounds out of the ballroom. Guess we won’t be staying at the party. He doesn’t set me down again until he has me in our room beside the bed. He slides me down, our bodies rubbing against one another.

“Are you sure about this, Kitten?” he asks huskily.

I lick my bottom lip and look him directly in the eyes.

“Yes, I can’t deny what we both need anymore,” I say.

He turns, locks the door, and then like a predator, stalks towards me. Natural instinct has me stepping back, away from him. The look on his face is so fierce. He grabs me and slams his mouth onto mine. His tongue darts across my lips and I instinctively part them for his invading tongue. This moment is the one he’s been waiting for, but he’s not the only one. My panties are already damp with my need for him. I’ve been denying myself the same pleasure that I’ve been denying him.

He rips my shirt off over my head, and with nimble fingers, pops the hooks of my bra. His rough hands grab my breasts, kneading them until his head dips and he draws a nipple into his mouth. He sucks hard, lightly nipping, and then takes a full bite, which draws a deep moan from me that’s a mix of pain and pleasure. As his mouth consumes my breast, his hands slide down and unbuttoning my shorts, sliding them and my panties off in one fluid movement. Once he has me undressed, he pulls away from me.

This allows me the opportunity to grab his shirt and pull it off him, while he steps out of his shoes and unbuttons his pants. We stand there naked, staring at each other. The heat radiates between our bodies as we both take our time and look our fill. As my eye lands on his beautiful, erect cock, my body trembles. The anticipation of that cock filling me has my pussy quaking. We move together, and once again, his mouth is on mine. Our tongues tangle in a dance so familiar, yet different as we anticipate a new ending tonight. One of his hands goes to a breast while the other travels down my side. Shivers run down my spine. His hand cups my ass, grinding us together. He pulls me harder into him. My hand wraps around his neck, holding on to him, afraid that if I let go, my legs won’t hold me. Our kisses break only for us to catch our breath. When his hand slips between my legs, his fingers slide over my swollen clit.

“Thank fuck,” he whispers. I don’t understand why he is saying that, but before I ask, he lifts me up and my legs wrap around him. “You’re so damn wet.”

“Only for you,” I whisper. Before I know what is happening, he shifts my body and plants his cock balls deep in me. I cry out from the swift action, and then my back hits the wall.

“Kitten, this time is going to be hard and fast,” he says through gritted teeth.

“Fuck me.” I moan out. He doesn’t hesitate before pounding into me hard and fast. My back hits the wall hard but, at the moment, I don’t care. I’m going to have marks from this coupling. All I focus on is the feel of his cock filling me. He hammers so hard into me that he hits spots not normally reached. At the same time, he finds the magical spot that causes my pussy to cling around him. Soon the friction hits my clit as well, and between the two forces, I’m moaning and calling his name and I’m not sure what else is coming out of my mouth. As an orgasm tears through me and rocks my body, my juices gush all over his cock, which throbs and jets hot streams of his seed.