She turned back and looked at him. Her brows rose in question and he knew what she wanted, what she waited for. He wasn’t going to give it to her. No matter how much she wanted it or how much he wanted it.
He pulled his hand free from hers. “I have to go put the calves up. Go on in, I’ll be inside in a minute.”
She smiled. “I’ll be in the shower.”
He stared after her as she climbed the stairs. Her dress clung to her ass, hitching high in the back and showing off her creamy thighs. He imagined her bent over the steps right there as he took her. How her breasts would feel swinging in his hands in rhythm with his thrusts. Or her naked in the shower with hot water dripping from her nipples. He could ask her to wait so that he could peel her thong off and soap her long body. His jaw hardened and he pushed away from the steps. No. That was the old Riley.
He looked away and started off. “Okay. When you get out, I’ll grab mine.”
And he didn’t look back. He didn’t want to know if she was disappointed. It might be too much to resist.
Chapter Three
It was stupid to have even kissed Riley. Shellie knew that.
Knew he wasn’t into her that way. He never had been. She never really had been into him either, but she had
felt
him. Yes it was still a little weird to have kissed Riley, but it was more good than not. For whatever reason, she wanted him to be attracted back to the point he would have tossed any other thought to the wind and taken her. Like she had done. She’d been ready to loosen the zipper of his tight jeans right there in that puddle and rip-off her panties.
Apparently he hadn’t felt the same. He’d picked a cow over her. A cow.
Shellie shook her head. He was supposed to be fun and joking, and just Riley. The Old Riley would have taken her up on her blatant invitation. Even over the fact that they’d never done anything like this, the Old Riley would have been in this bathroom with her.
But he wasn’t. They somehow reversed roles from what they were all those years ago. Or was it just her? She shook her head. It wasn’t just Riley’s missing sexual prowl that was different. It was everything. He was completely understated, in a word, from what she’d known growing up. The man who lived for muscle cars with bench seats was driving an old beat up pick-up truck, for God’s sake.
With bucket seats and a stick shift shooting up from the console
.
Not much was climbing over that. Gone was hair gel and in its place a worn ball cap. His refrigerator and freezer held actual food stuff instead of frozen dinners and the leftover take out he’d always eaten.
People changed, she knew. She’d changed over the years too, but at the heart, she would say she was still the same person. She didn’t think Riley could say the same.
The screen door creaked downstairs and then shut with a pop. Maybe he kissed her outside because it was the polite thing to do. And well, maybe his cock took interest because that was the man thing to do. After all, she had jerked him down on top of her, gripped him with her thighs, and kissed him. He'd probably only kissed her just because.
She didn’t want just-because-kisses. She wanted the flush of skin and pounding chests and loss of breath like she heard girls say in the bathroom in high school. Even with the sex she’d had in the past, it had never been thrilling as she’d heard others talk about, and she wanted the exciting ride before she began this husband hunt with her mom. She deserved at least that. A little something to hold on to.
She chunked a rag in the sink. It was time to throw everything she knew to the wind and just have fun, but not with Riley. A sad smile filled her. She wouldn’t push him toward what he wasn’t interested in. She was here for a few days before she had to return to real life and she wanted to taste a fling and learn to flirt like a proper tramp.
The biggest thing that would horrify her mother the most and she wanted it.
She flicked wet hair off her neck and headed downstairs. The clang of the washing machine lid closing sounded so she headed toward the laundry. She rounded the time-worn corners with faded floral paper. Sheesh.
Riley, confirmed bachelor with a black leather jacket to wear while cruising on his motorcycle, had faded blue flowers on his wallpaper. She looked up from the dingy edge and nearly swallowed her tongue.
God Good, Riley Hamilton was butt-assed-naked.
“Shellie!”
She only vaguely heard her name. Riley was…not what she imagined. Sure, she’d seen his naked chest and his legs in shorts, but that had been years ago. He’d filled out. His thighs were thick. His stomach a hard plane of cuts and lines. His…she dropped her gaze his cock and stared. His…oh, wow. Nice. Long and thick. That explained a lot of talk in the girl’s bathroom about sore jaws.
“Shellie!”
She glanced up as he reached for a towel off the dryer and wrapped it around his waist. Pity. She blinked, trying to remember why she’d been looking for him.
“Did you need something?”
She stared after him and resisted answering with,
you bet your fine ass I do
. She cleared her throat. “Do you find me attractive, Riley?”
His eyes widened.
“I mean, sexually.” She pulled in a deep breath and vowed she wouldn’t stand there staring in the direction of his cock for this conversation. “Or do you see me as a….” It was impossible. She simply couldn’t talk to him with him practically naked. She shook her head and turned around. “I can’t do this with you when you’re not wearing clothes.”
“You were supposed to have been in the shower.”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I didn’t know I had reason to linger in there.”
“You didn’t.”
She tried not to wince under his cutting tone, but wanted to glance back and see him. See if there might be some little smidge of regret. She didn’t look. His short answer to her question was all she needed to know.
Riley Hamilton did not want her, even if his cock pressing against her lady bits fifteen minutes ago said otherwise. Why did that have to sting so hard? But him not wanting her cleared the air. She wouldn’t waste the valuable time she had on a man not interested. “Is there anything to do in Apple Tree?”
“Apple Trail.”
“Whatever.”
“Not much. What are you looking for?”
This was so much easier when she wasn’t looking at him. “I want to have a fling. I’ve never had one of those before. And learn how to flirt.”
He was silent for a long moment. She nearly looked at him to see if he even stood there anymore or if he’d left the room, but finally he spoke. “So, you need to know what’s in town because…?”
“Because I need to find a man who’s interested.”
“You are not going to have some fling while you’re here.”
Her jaw dropped and she spun on her heel. “Excuse me?”
His hands were in fists at his side. His temple ticked. “You’re worth more than to be throwing yourself on someone you just met.”
She shook her head. “You’re not at all the Riley I remembered.”
“You’ve said as much and I’ve agreed. I’ve grown up.”
Disappointment filled through her. How had he changed so much over such a small amount of time? She’d just wanted to come here and find normalcy. “Why? This place”—she swept her arm around—”it doesn’t fit you.”
“Sweetheart, other than on the Internet, you haven’t been in contact with me for over six years. I love it here. I will never leave. And I could say the same about you. The Shellie Chambers I knew would never do something like a quick fling.”
A growl rumbled up her throat, but she swallowed it down. “That’s because I’m tired of living like that girl. I want to have fun like you used to do. You never heard me criticizing you about the way you bed-hopped.”
“You didn’t have to.” He was standing over her now. The scent of the mud and outdoors from their kiss only moments ago washed over her. “I could see it on your face.”
She tried to ignore his heat and forget the way his body had covered hers. “But you did it anyway and I never told you not to.”
“Yeah, well I learned the dangers that are down that road and I don’t want you there.”
“What dangers?” Oh god. She dropped her gaze down only to see the fuzzy towel knotted in place below his bellybutton. But if he had something…that would explain him saying no when his body was saying yes. She looked back to his face. “Did you get an STD?”
His mouth fell open and he backed away from her until he leaned on the wall. “Jesus. No.” He was quiet for a long moment. She was about to ask and push for more information, but he sighed. “I did get a girl pregnant one time.”
It was her turn for her mouth to dangle. “I didn’t know.” She found herself looking around like she expected to see a kid jumping out of a closet somewhere. “Where is…a boy or girl?”
He shrugged and pushed off the wall. “I don’t know. The baby was aborted against my wishes. It would have been four in February.”
She couldn’t move. Riley had gotten a girl pregnant. Riley was mourning the loss of a baby that never came.
He remained against the wall. He wasn’t looking at her, but words continued to come out. “I begged her not to. Told her I would take the baby and she’d never hear from us again. I never thought I’d want that, you know? A kid.” He shrugged one shoulder and stared at the floor. “Me. But the day she told me she was pregnant, something clicked into place.” He shook his head. His lips were tight. “She refused. So, yeah. I’ve changed. I don’t live that life anymore and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you start. Not here under my watch.”
She tried getting angry over that, but just couldn’t. Too much shock was still rolling around for anger to fit in. “I should hope you’d know me enough to know I wouldn’t do that.”
He shook his head. “That’s not the point. If I hadn’t been living that way, it wouldn’t have happened. That’s not me anymore, Shellie. Don’t ask me to be that guy again and please, don’t turn me into him. I’ll help you do whatever you want to out here. Hell, I’ll let you ride one of my bulls if you want, but please don’t ask me to help you do something like a careless fling.”
There was so much she wanted to say, half of it she wasn’t even sure how to say, but she let him walk past because the one thing that bothered her the most was, why had he not told her this all those years ago?
Chapter Four
Riley lay on his bed, fully dressed, and watched as the darkness outside changed. It had been a restless night. By the nonstop rattling of springs from Shellie’s bed down the hall, he doubted hers had been any better.
This house with her sweet, sugary scent filling it, was suffocating him. A single smell could make him think of her naked. And sweating. And gasping. And grabbing. And crying out. He rubbed his palms against his eyes, trying to smother the images out. Thank god those calves got out yesterday, because today he would be tied up looking for the break in the fence and then fixing it. Way too much to do to spend it inside lusting after Shellie.
The sun rose high enough he could see the horizon and he left his bed. He made it as far as the hall when a new scent washed over him.
Coffee.
He continued down the hall, past her bedroom with the door opened and showing the room empty. The closer he came to the stairs, the stronger the scent grew. He hurried down and into the kitchen where he found her.
She stood at the stove flipping something. He didn’t pay much attention to what because of the view. She wore completely impractical black boots. They came up to the backs of her knees, the leather hugged and outlined the shape of her trimmed calves. Strings laced up the back and tied a bow at the top of the boot. Her long legs looked to have been painted with black pants curving and hugging her thighs. Then there was her ass. Or at least the part of her ass that wasn’t hidden by a red, loose fitting sweater. Her long brown hair was twisted up on the top her head and looked dangerously close to falling out with the slightest touch.
His body responded uncontrollably. After the night of thinking of her curves under him and what he’d really like to do with her, he could no sooner halt a stampede than stop his cock from thickening.
He must have shifted or made some sort of noise, because she started and looked over her shoulder.
She smiled and titled the pan his way. “Morning. Grilled cheese?”
He swallowed and crossed the room for the coffee pot. “It’s awful early to be up.”
“You’re awake.”
He shrugged and sipped from his cup. “I have work to do.”
She shook the skillet. “I couldn’t sleep. What do you have to do at this hour?”
“Feed the cows for starters. Then I need to find where those calves escaped the pasture and repair it.”
“How do you do that?” She flopped a toasted sandwich out on a plate and handed it to him. Wasn’t bacon and eggs, but he took it with thanks.
“I scoop their feed into a bucket and pour it into their trough.”
She slanted him a look. “The fence thing.”
“Oh.” He looked at his plate, curious that she had taken an interest. “I ride along the fence line until I find the broken spot and then I repair it. Probably an old rusted nail came loose. My uncle put the fence in. It’s wooden and old and needs to be replaced with barbwire.”
“Then why don’t you do that?”
He stared after her, precisely, at her ass, since he was now sitting and eye level with it. He returned to his sandwich. “Costs money.”
“More expensive than consistently making repairs to the old one?”
Here was the largest difference between him and Shellie. It was the only thing about her that ever truly irritated him. Shellie’s mother had married old and rich and Shellie had never wanted for anything.
While he, born on the other side of the tracks, was looking for work by the time he was ten. “Not in the long run, obviously, but I don’t have the money to replace a fence right now. Last winter we had a lot of ice and it collapsed the right end of the barn. It took everything I had to fix that.”
“Oh.” She dropped a sandwich in the pan and faced him. “If you need money, Riley—”
“No.” He kept looking at his half-eaten sandwich. He suddenly wasn’t hungry for the rest.
“We could call it a loan. I know you’re true to your word.”
He stood and finished his coffee, wanting out. “If I wanted a loan, I’d go to the bank.”
“Riley.”
He stopped and glanced over at her. She walked up, wrapped her arms around him, and hugged him tight. It caught him so off-guard, he stood for a long moment with his arms stiff at his sides, his back ridged. She squeezed him even tighter before he finally returned the hug with a quick pat on her back. When he did, she sighed against him. That one soft noise breathed into his chest and crumbled him.
Before he did something stupid, like, ask her why in the hell she just hugged him, he cleared his throat, unwound his arms, and made a bee-line for the door. He wasn’t able to make the quick escape he wanted.
“Riley?”
He stopped, hand on the old metal latch of the screen door and waited.
“Can I come with you today? When you work on the fence?”
He glanced over his shoulder and wished he hadn’t. Shellie wore her open and good heart on her sleeve. Genuine curiosity was on her face and something was different in the shape of her eyes. They seemed heavy with sadness, but he didn’t know why.
He nodded, because he had told her yesterday he’d be there for whatever she wanted so long as it wasn’t a fling. “Let me feed the cows and then I’ll be around to pick you up.”
“Excellent.”
He glanced down her body and wondered how much work he’d get done. Probably none and what he would manage would no doubt require a couple of re-doings. “You might want to change. Wouldn’t want to ruin that.”
She looked at her clothes. “It’s fine.”
Shouldn’t have looked back, he knew he shouldn’t have looked back. All the way to the barn, while feeding the cows and cranking the four-wheeler, he kept thinking how he knew he shouldn’t have looked back. He could have thrown out some lame line about dangers or hell, cow shit being everywhere, but he hadn’t. He hadn’t denied Shellie his pudding cup in seventh grade when her mom was concerned with her weight, he sure as hell wasn’t going to start denying her now.
He let off the gas and was still slowing as Shellie bounced down the steps, her boobs rising and falling and rising and….shit, it was like following a couple of bouncing balls. He blinked and stared at the four-wheeler gas tank. Where he’d like her to sit. And face him.
He groaned. That cold mud puddle yesterday had clearly done some serious damage to his head.
“This is so exciting! I’ve never been on a four-wheeler before!” She put her hand on his shoulder, stepped on the foot pad and swung her leg over the seat like a pro.
Her legs straddled his ass and thighs clenched his hips. Arms wound around his waist, flattening her tits to his back. Fingers hooked in the waistband of his jeans on either side of the button. It all happened in less than a second flat, but each and every touch seared him. Heat spiraled through his veins. Every cell was aware of her every movement.
He swallowed and shifted into gear, all the while thinking how she’d just said she’d never been on a four-wheeler before and knowing the kind of ride he could give her. There was another time, long ago when he’d gotten his first motorcycle. She exclaimed then how she’d never ridden one and he’d given her a hell of a ride that afternoon while she’d clung to him.
Because it would keep him from dealing with her and sex with a stranger, he gripped his handlebars. “Hold on tight then.”
Somehow, she managed to squeeze closer. He didn’t wait, didn’t think about it because he knew he might change his mind and he didn’t want to. He hadn’t cut loose like this since college and with Shellie, for this, he could. Because it was strictly happening just for her and no other reason.
He shifted into gear and floored the gas. Vibrations strummed through his body and the old Honda shot off, ramping over a little hill in the yard and Shellie screamed.
But not in fear.
She laughed. Her fingers dug deeper in his jeans and he knew she was dangerously close to brushing over the head of his cock. He wanted to ramp something again just to see if it would happen. This freedom, being broken loose from his self-imposed restrictions was intoxicating and he knew he dared not breathe too much. He couldn’t afford to fall back into old habits of woman after woman and party after party. But he was safe with Shellie, because she was...Shellie.
Yes, she was sexy as all get out, but she was still Shellie. His safe-spot in school. A girl he’d maintained just enough good behavior and good grades to not disappoint. She was still his safe-spot today. Just like last night, he’d sent her on to her shower alone. Any other woman he would have followed after.
He slowed the four-wheeler at the gate and came to a stop to open it. “Think you can drive it through?”
He glanced back and found her chewing on her lower lip and he was struck hard in the chest and groin. No, he was safe with the
old
Shellie. This new Shellie, with wildfire in her eyes and her heart pounding in her chest who was hungry for more and didn’t need to be talked into anything, he was not safe with. There would be no more cutting loose on his part.
Shellie was too much of a risk to himself.