Chapter Six
Shellie slid forward on the black vinyl four-wheeler seat and tapped the little lever hanging from the handlebars. It was no bigger than her thumb, but so much power was in that pad. The machine between her thighs revved and shot forward a foot or so. A laugh burst from her throat, she gripped the wide set bars and hit the pad again. Slowly she mashed it, feeling power gain as she eased forward with each inch she pressed.
Riley leaned against the opened gate and tipped his fingers in hello at her as she slipped past. She grinned in return and released the button after clearing the gate. He shut it behind her, locked it, and then took his seat in front of her again.
She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight, ready for her breath to be lost in the wind. While driving those few feet through the gate had been slightly thrilling, it was nothing compared to gripping him for life as he raced over the countryside.
Riley cleared his throat. “We won’t be going fast like that again.”
“Oh.” Her arms loosened a tad, but she didn’t fully release him.
“I need to be able to watch the fence line. And there are holes and stuff out here that could flip us.”
“Right.”
Ack
! She was an idiot. While she was joy-riding, he was still working. And being Serious Riley.
He eased on the gas. “Besides, wouldn’t want one of the tires to throw a cow patty in your mouth.”
“
What
?” But her word was lost under the loud whine of the four-wheeler as he cruised alongside the fence at a leisurely pace. She kept her lips tightly closed just in case he was serious.
While he drove slow, the engine was too loud to try and talk. Instead, she soon found herself leaning back and gripping the metal rack behind her as she took in the scenery.
Mostly it was flat land with a big ditch of water running through the center. A line of pine trees were in the far distance and that was pretty much it on this side of this property.
All this was Riley’s. So much land and nature. She hadn’t gotten it at first, but now she kind of did. Whoever said that fresh air was good for the soul knew what they were talking about. She didn’t know if it was being away from her mother that was so freeing or if it was being around Riley out here, secluded, where she could be and do anything she wanted.
A worn fence was on her right. It was pretty, but looked fitted for something surrounding a house rather than keeping in a herd of cows. Why or how the cows hadn’t just pushed the thing over to go where they pleased, she didn’t know.
It needed repairing and as much as she’d love to help Riley out, she knew he wouldn’t let her. She’d known he wouldn’t go for her offer that morning when she’d made it, but she’d given it a shot to see if he’d even changed in that aspect. In a way, she was glad to see he hadn’t inherited his parents’ affection for handouts, but at the same time, she wasn’t just any Joe-blow off the street. It hurt a little that he wouldn’t allow her help.
The four-wheeler slowed. She peeked around his side ahead and spotted the hole in the wooden fence. There was a vertical post every six or so feet and then three horizontal posts running the length of the fence. The middle piece of wood was dropped on one side in this spot. Those cows must have really squeezed it to make it through that tiny hole, because the animals she remembered seemed way too big to fit through something that size. It was a wonder the little devils hadn’t pushed the whole thing down.
Riley turned off the four-wheeler. The machine quieted with only a little squeak. He stood and eased off, careful not to whack her in the face with his foot, same as he stepped off to open the gate. “It’s about what I thought it would be.”
He loosened some neon orange colored straps off the front of the four-wheeler enough that he was able to free a dingy green bag. “Likely another rusted nail. The cows were probably startled and bumped against the fence to loosen it.”
She remained on the four-wheeler, not wanting to be in his way, and watched as he squatted next to the broken piece. “Is it going to be hard to fix?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I’ll pop a couple screws in it and that’ll hold it for now.”
“If the cows know how to knock the fence down so they can get loose, why don’t they do it all the time? And how come the others didn’t get out either?”
“They’re herd animals. The calves that got out were probably separated from the group and lost. They don’t leave because I keep them fed. The barn is here for shelter. They don’t have a reason to want to leave.”
She thought it over and admitted he had a point. Maybe that was another layer of appeal of this place. She never considered anything specific about remaining in one area or another as she grew up. With her mother’s constant dreaming of marrying wealthy, Shellie truly never knew where she might end up to want to think about it.
France? Italy? California? Who knew?
She glanced around again at the expanse and open fields. Even though fencing ran every which-a-way, there was still freedom and breathing room here unlike anywhere else. The biggest appeal of all, her mother wouldn’t step foot out here in a place so rustic. “I think I get why you like it here so much now.”
He glanced over his shoulder. His brows were raised.
“It’s just...” She waved her hand around at the field. “All this nature wasn’t like you in high school. I didn’t put the two together, but now I get it. You came out here, it gives you everything you want and so you stay.”
He gave her a smile that she thought was a little tight for Riley’s usual devil-may-care, but she didn’t push. For all she knew, that was Riley’s new smile now. She sighed a little sadly over that.
It was time to let the old Riley go and embrace and realize the new one before her. And she found herself proud to know him. To know the new one. He’d accomplished so much after having so little. She’d never earned anything of that kind of measure in her whole life, even if it was a bit sad he’d abandoned his old self. There had been nothing wrong with him before.
He dug in the bag and pulled out a tool. Two screws dangled from between his teeth. While balancing the board on one knee and in one hand, he positioned one of the screws against the board. It seemed he hadn’t lost the talent for having good hands though. She smiled and hopped off the four-wheeler.
She squatted next to him. “Let me help.”
“I’ve got it.”
“I know, but I still want to help.”
Two quick screws later and the board was secured into place. He did a crablike walk to the other end of the board and inserted two more screws there. He grabbed the board and shook it. “That’ll hold her for now.”
Dear God, Riley Hamilton just fixed a fence in less than five minutes. He stood and she didn’t stop. She didn’t think. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him again. Like before, he awkwardly patted her back, which only made her smile.
“I’m really proud of you.”
“Is that why you keep hugging me?”
She squeezed him a hair tighter. “No. I keep hugging you because you look like you could use a hug. That’s all.”
“I’m okay.”
She angled her head up and found him staring down at her. She tried giving him another smile, but it was hard to make her lips curve. “No, you’re not. What happened with the baby, that wasn’t your fault, Riley.” He tried pulling away, but she laced her fingers together at his back. “No. I’m going to tell you that over and over until you get it. It wasn’t your fault. It was her fault. You tried everything you could, but she made the decision. Not you.”
“I was the one who got her pregnant.”
She arched an eyebrow. “I must have missed the part about you forcing sex on her.” His mouth tightened, but she pressed on. “She agreed to sex, too. Nature did its thing, but she was the one who said no to the baby. Not you. There was nothing more you could have done. It’s sad, but it’s the truth. You need to stop beating yourself up over it.”
“I’m not beat—”
“Yes you are.”
“I know what happened, Shellie.”
Infuriating. She lifted on her toes, threw her arms around his neck, and pressed her lips to his. He stilled against her, but she wouldn’t give up. She knew this wasn’t what he wanted on the surface, but she wouldn’t ignore the pressure of his cock she’d felt against her just yesterday…was feeling again now.
Yes, she was proud of the new Riley, but also saddened that he’d completely cut himself away from the man he used to be. A little breath of freedom and life from his demons was all she had to offer. After everything he’d done for her in the past, she owed it to him. More than that, she wanted to give this to him.
Still he resisted. His hands lay unmoving on her back. The length of each finger awkwardly frozen against her spine. Firm lips were unyielding under hers, but she refused to give up. This kiss and touch wasn’t for her, it was for him. She stepped into him, her pelvis stroked against the front of his jeans and just the tiniest of moans slipped beyond his immobile exterior.
“Stop denying yourself.” She nipped his bottom lip and when his fingers twitched, she smiled against his mouth and licked the spot.
She didn’t slow down, didn’t want to give him time to think. Thinking always seemed to have been her biggest problem. Now he’d started the awful habit. She licked along the seam of his lips, surprising him enough they parted. Fingers tightened on her back and she dipped her tongue in. The crisp jolt of coffee flavoring him slid inside her mouth and his hands dropping to her ass tingled through her blood.
While she understood what happened to him and where he came from, she wanted to give him some of his self back. She wanted to see the lightness on his face and the casual movements of his body she’d missed so much. The only time she’d seen him loose was yesterday when they had been in that puddle.
She hopped in his arms and wound her legs around his waist. There was no awkwardness in kissing him or feeling him. Not like it had been before or all those years ago.
This all felt suddenly so right. Like colors of a rainbow lining alongside each other in correct order.
His hands came around her hips and he gripped her bottom. His fingers kneaded and squeezed the curves of her cheeks. Little by little, his tense muscles and heavy shoulders loosened and relaxed and came against her.
And then he broke the kiss. Gasping for breath, he lowered his eyelids and shook his head. “No. I’m not this kind of man anymore.”
“And what kind is that, Riley? I’m not going to ask you to do anything you don’t want, but I’m having a hard time believing you don’t desire me right now.” She wiggled best she could, catching her crotch against the firm ridge nudging his zipper.
“I don’t have casual sex anymore on the spur of the moment.
“Me either. I’ve been thinking about it since yesterday when I saw you again.”
He frowned. “That’s the same thing. I don’t rush into things anymore.”
No, no, no!
She was just starting to feel him let go. Just starting to feel him become anxious and excited to breathe again. One way or another, she’d prove him he doesn’t have to hide himself this way. “So let’s take this one step at a time. Okay?”