Once and Always (Women of Character) (21 page)

At her puzzled look, he said,
"That last day Martin caught us in the cottage. The sheriff deputies took
me into town where my dad was being questioned. What happened after I left you
and Martin?"

Looking troubled, Annie rubbed her
hands up and down her arms. "What does it matter, Tyler?"

"I don't know. I have this
feeling there's a key element I'm missing. Why did Martin come looking for us
in the cottage? I was supposed to be away. How did he even know we were
there?"

With a sigh, Annie sat up, pulling
the sheet around her as she left the bed and sat on the rug. She rubbed her
fingers over her forehead. "It was so long ago. . . I don't know. I
returned early and found you in the barn. You'd had two flat tires on the truck
and it had to be towed to town. You hitched a ride back to the ranch."

"So how did he know we were
there?" Tyler rubbed his forehead. "Someone saw us." Tyler
thought about that night when Martin opened the door so forcefully, heard again
the sound of the dishes shattering on the floor. He'd deliberately put that
night out of his thoughts for so long it felt almost like he'd watched it in a
movie. He snapped his fingers. "Danny. Do you remember Martin said Danny
told him he'd find us there but he didn't believe him."

She looked at him doubtfully.
"I don't recall seeing Danny that night."

"He must have seen us."
Tyler leaned forward. "Even back then he was always protective of you. He
might have said something to Martin or told him where we were."

"Danny wouldn't try to cause
trouble."

"It doesn't matter. Once
Martin knew we were together, he probably saw red."

"What's the difference?"
she cried. "Danny had nothing to do with what happened afterward."

"I'm not so sure. Tell me
about that night," he said again.

Annie dipped her head. "When
the deputies came in behind Martin and escorted you away, I was devastated and
scared. Martin told me I could have my pick of any man. We argued and I turned
to leave. I started to tell him I didn't care about other men, but there was
such a frightened look on his face that I didn't get the words out. He stumbled
forward and I tried to catch him, but he was heavy and we fell to the
floor."

Tyler dropped to the rug beside
Annie. "Why did you stay with him?" he asked hoarsely. "When you
had the choice, why did you choose him?" Her rejection had haunted him for
six years. After the initial disbelief, he'd been angry, hurt, disillusioned.

Annie lifted eyes brimming with
moisture. "I couldn't leave him. He had been diagnosed that week with
brain cancer. It wasn't my secret to tell. I thought we had time, that I would
be able to explain to you―"

Tyler stood. "Dammit Annie!
You should have trusted me."

She poked him in the chest.
"Where was your trust?" She swung away from him, the sheet slipping
off one shoulder. "But it doesn't matter now, does it? Maybe if Martin
hadn't been sick, I still wouldn't have been able to leave. I felt dependent on
him." She gave him an angry glare. "I was nineteen and I should have
stood on my feet as you'd told me many times, but I didn't. I let him take care
of me. When it came down to the crunch, I was scared. I didn't want to go back
to the way it was when my mother died and I was in one foster place after
another. I needed Martin's influence, the wall he put around me to keep me
safe."

"Annie."

"You're a man, Tyler. You're
the type that will always fend for yourself. When my mother died they put me in
foster care. They didn't keep me very long and I was moved around. Some of
those homes. . ." she let her voice trail off and he wanted to reach out
to her, but she'd pulled away from him, emotionally, physically. "I didn't
know I had anyone else. I was just a timid kid when Martin brought me here. I
was glad to find someone who understood me the way I thought you did. I didn't
feel so frightened. Those last weeks when our relationship changed from an easy
friendship, it was so new, I didn't know where it was going. Everything
happened so fast that night." She turned back to him. "But I never
abandoned you, I never ran you and Grant out of town. How could you think I
would do that?"

"I was running on fury. You
choose Martin, then Dad and I were held in the lockup for a week and a half and
then railroaded out of town. We heard Martin had died and the investigation
went nowhere. At the bus station they made sure we left. It's a long ride from
the east coast to the west. I had a lot of time to think about what they did to
us. If it wasn't for my dad, I'd have stayed put. But he looked shattered. He
wouldn't even talk about it for weeks afterward. That night they took me in you
never showed up, what else would I think but that you'd told the sheriff to
take care of us?"

"Tyler, after the funeral, legal
fees and the mess of paying back the money for that breeding, I tried to get my
head straight. The sheriff told me to wait a few more days. They were still
trying to unravel what had happened. I demanded that you and Grant be released
but I could see he was humoring me. When I went with my lawyer early the next
morning, the sheriff wasn't there and they told me you'd already left, without
a word or even a note."

"They hustled us to the bus
station the night before." He looked at her. "I didn't know you'd
come."

"And you never asked."
The sadness in her voice ripped him in two because it was the truth. He hadn't
asked. "So in a way we're both responsible for what happened," she
said. "You let pride and temper get in the way and I didn't have the
confidence to stand up to Martin. Neither one of us gets off scot-free."
She lifted her chin. "Who should we blame? Where does this leave us
now?"

"Nothing has changed."

"I'm not so sure. I
understand your need to know the truth, but if we peck away at each other,
we'll kill any chance at building a relationship on trust. We have to pull
together on this."

"And we will―I
will." He reached out to cup her shoulder, then pulled her against him,
needing to believe they'd both acted with the best intentions.

Annie pressed against him and he
wrapped his arms around her.

"It's such a mess," she
said. "If it was a cover up, how can we ever straighten it out?"

"Someone knows the
truth."

Anna rested her head back against
Tyler's chest, and suddenly noticed the picture on his dresser. She disengaged
herself from his arms and moved closer. "Where did you get that picture of
me?" Feeling vulnerable, she held the sheet defensively against her
breasts. How had she missed seeing a framed, close-up picture of her own face?
"It's one you took down by the barn that day." She swung around to
face him.

Tyler reached for his jeans and
pulled them up his legs. Walking to the dresser, he lifted the framed picture
to stare at it. Anna ached inside, not wanting to argue, but instead wanting to
move up behind him and press against his muscled back.

He faced her. "I love this
picture. It's captured the Annie I used to know."

Anna didn't want to look at it. A
quick glance had been enough. It reminded her of the havoc that had been
wreaked on her life, the mess that was her face in the bright sunlight. "I
want you to take it out of the frame or I'll tear it out myself."

"Annie, be reasonable."

"Take it out. The light is so
bright, that's all you can see."

"It's your blind spot―it's
all you see," he said in a hard voice, nothing like the lover of a short
while ago. "Just like you can't see that Martin or Danny may be
responsible for where we are now."

Anna wanted to cry out that it
wasn't fair, and that he'd never understand, but she stood quickly and hurried
from the room. She clutched the sheet as she made her way down the hallway and
then the stairs.

When she reached the foyer, she
felt a hand on her shoulder and was pulled to an abrupt halt.

"Annie!"

She spun around. "My name is
Anna."

"What the hell is going
on?"

She looked at him incredulously.
"We've just made love, the most wonderful, tender experience and now it's
all ruined."

"Why?" he demanded.
"Because of a picture―because of reality?" He shoved the
picture in front of her face. "This picture shows a woman happy and
healthy and alive. If you want to destroy it, if you think that'll make you
feel better, I'll give it to you, but I need you to take a good look at
it."

Anna didn't want to. Seeing that
close up picture of her own face after they'd made such sweet love would bring
back all her uncertainties. She shivered in the hall and hunched her shoulders.
How could he possibly look at that and not remember how she used to be?

"Annie."

Reluctantly she looked at the
picture, drawing in deep breaths, willing the tenseness and anger to slowly
melt away. Tyler had caught her mostly from the unblemished side of her face.
She wore a half smile and Spirit's head was just over her shoulder. With a
deeply drawn breath, Anna realized the picture was reminiscent of numerous
publicity shots taken before the fire. It was her face, her smile, with only a
shadowy hint of the scarring and the slight pull at the corner of her mouth.
Nevertheless, she was still caught up in a certain hopelessness. "I can't
compete with the way I used to look."

Tyler's brows came together.
"Who asked you to?"

"I can't help it. I remember
what I used to look like. Now that picture shows parts of how I am today, the
scarred part of my face."

Tyler let out an impatient breath.
"Annie, this is the real you. The scarring has nothing to do with who you
are. It's only on the outside, another facet of the whole you." He put his
hand out. "This is how I see you. If I'd taken a picture of you full
frontal view there would still be the same eyes, the same wistful expression on
your face. The same person I care about. How can I make you understand the rest
doesn't matter?"

The sincerity in his eyes made her
feel like a fool. "Oh God." Her attempt at a laugh was pathetic. In
reality, she wanted to cry over what this man was saying. His tender, kind
words touched her deeply. "I'm reacting to my own insecurities."

She had to get out before she gave
way to the pressure inside and started bawling like a baby.

"So were you exaggerating
when you said it was the most wonderful, tender experience?"

Anna froze with her hand on the
door handle, then slowly turned and looked into those deadly serious blue eyes.
She took a shaky breath. "It was more than that."

"How much more?"

Carefully, she said, "If I
haven't blown all my chances with my insecurities, I'd like to think there'll
be more wonderful, tender, mind-blowing experiences."

Tyler pulled her to him, his
knuckles against her breasts as he gripped the sheet. Anna unclenched her hands
as Tyler cupped her hips and urged her closer, his jeans brushing against the
linen.

Heart racing, she laced her
fingers through his. "These scars have played a big part in my life, it's
hard to believe there's someone who doesn't shy away from that part of
me."

"Sara isn't bothered by your
scarring, why think I'm less supportive than she is?"

Anna suddenly realized how unfair
she'd been to him. "But I'm not involved with her. Our relationship is
moving everything to a deeper, more sensitive level."

Tyler placed his warm palms on
each side of her cheeks and his fingertips traced circles on the sensitive skin
at the back of her neck.

Anna pressed her mouth to his and wound her arms around
Tyler as he backed her up against the wall.

Late the following morning
Anna stared into the mirror, then met Sara's glance as her friend stood behind
her. "What do you think?" she asked, moving her face closer to the
glass. Carefully, she used a fingertip to gently smooth the special makeup over
her cheek.

"Perfect. The scarring is
concealed and the makeup is light enough it looks very natural." Sara
stepped back. "More to the point, how do you feel about this business
luncheon today?"

Anna twisted around once more to
look in the mirror, then faced Sara with a tentative smile. "Okay. . .I
think." She grimaced. "I finally told Tyler I'd go, but I've tried
not to think about it, which hasn't been hard, given my schedule the last few
days. Carol, the girl I'm going to be giving lessons, will be starting in a few
days. Her horse arrived first thing this morning and I've been getting her
settled in, then some of the cows broke through the new fence and we had to
round them up. To top that off one of the new stable hands got his finger
jammed in a stall door and I ran back up here to get ice." She blew a wisp
of hair out of her eyes. "Tyler's having an open house soon, and he asked
me to consider doing a riding demo. So you can guess right now I'm running on
adrenalin."

Sara smiled and stood back.
"Well, sounds to me like you're having one hell of a time―you're
absolutely glowing." She lifted a brow. "Being around Tyler
definitely agrees with you."

Anna looked at her in surprise and
then burst out laughing. "You're right, you know. I've never felt so
alive, so―so―"

"Needed?" Sara supplied.

"Yes. I haven't felt this
needed in a long time. I'm loving this. For the first time in two years I don't
have the ranch weighing me down. I have money for the taxes and if something
needs fixing, I know Tyler's crew will take care of it."

"He's seems to rely on you
quite a bit," Sara remarked, smoothing the material along her shoulder.
"From what you've said you're working with his horses, helping clients a
bit here and there."

"It's amazing the way
everything is working out," Anna said.

"And look at you."