Once and Always (Women of Character) (26 page)

"I'd love that." She'd
never say no to spending time with Tyler. "I'll saddle two horses. Do you
want me to meet you back here or at the barn?"

He dropped a slow kiss on her
mouth and turned toward the baler. "Why don't you meet me back here?"

His cell phone began to ring. With
his hands busy on the baler, Tyler said, "Can you get that? It's in the
tool box."

Anna stepped up to the tractor and
pulled the phone out of the metal toolbox. "Hello."

"Tyler Stanton, please,"
a female voice said.

"He's busy, could I take a
message?"

"This is Samantha from the
Rollaway Center. I'd like to talk with Mr. Stanton about setting up his job
interview."

Numbly, Anna stared at Tyler. He
straightened from the baler and glanced at her as he pulled a rag from his back
pocket and wiped his hands. He went still, then glanced at the phone gripped in
her hand. "Annie, what's wrong?"

"There's a call for you from
Rollaway Center. It's about your job interview." She dropped the phone in
his hand. "You could have mentioned it." She walked quickly away,
distressed at the implications of him seeking a job. How could he consider
leaving? Anyone in the horse business knew of the Rollaway Center. It was one
of the biggest horse training facilities in the United States. There was no
competition between the Rollaway Centre and the Double B Ranch.

Tyler took the phone, spoke into
it briefly. He shoved the phone back in his pocket.

"Annie!" She ignored him
and walked as hard as she could, but he caught up with her a few moments later
and pulled her around to face him. Breathing heavily, Anna stared at him with
resentment. "Why didn't you tell me?" Angry, she lifted her chin.
"We were just talking about the open house. You've said you wanted to make
a success out of the ranch. That's hard to do if you're not here. What's going
on?" She shook her head and backed away from his outstretched hand,
denying the hurt as it twisted inside. "I thought all this was for you,
your sense of pride in bringing it back and building your reputation. I was
naive to think you'd settle here." With me, but she didn't say the words.
"I can't believe you're being so short-sighted."

She didn't understand how he could
even consider leaving. Anna felt overwhelmed by a sense of inevitability.
"Look at this place―the land! Your horses are grazing in the
pasture. Doesn't that mean anything to you?" She felt cold. She wouldn't
beg. If he didn't want a life here with her, she couldn't make him stay. He
hadn't stayed before. "I had hoped you'd grow to love this land as much as
I do, that maybe you came back because you couldn't stay away." The
despair she felt was in her voice, she knew it, but right now she couldn't
control her emotions.

"I'm not disputing this is a
great place." He reached out to her but Anna stepped back. "Annie,
this interview isn't what you think."

"And what is it that I think?
You're ambitious, you can go anywhere you want, but you want more than this
place." The pain of heartache gripped her. "I guess neither one of us
wants to change. I won't leave," she said fiercely, "and you can't
stay."

Tyler put his head back and his
expression grew hard. "That's what it always comes down to, this ranch.
Annie, it's stone and dirt and wood. There are plenty more beautiful places.
What difference does it make where we are if we're together?" He pulled
her close but she stood stiffly in front of him. "The Rollaway Centre came
to me, I didn't go looking for this. They've been bugging the hell out of me to
agree to an interview. It was professional courtesy, that's all, and I told
them I'd think about it. It got them temporarily off my back. This doesn't
change anything."

Carefully, she pulled back from him.
"Tyler, you could have told them to go away, right from the start. Admit
it, you could happily go on the rest of your life never settled, one place
after the other. To tell you the truth I can't understand that. I don't want to
search for something else. Everything I need is right here."

He swore. "I'm not searching
for anything. I'm a businessman and talking with the Rollaway Centre is
business! I admit this position is a once in a lifetime opportunity but I
haven't even scheduled the interview."

"I can't believe I was so
wrong about you."

He seemed to go very still.
"What are you saying?"

Annie loved him but she couldn't
push the words past her lips.

"I care about you a great
deal, Annie. Doesn't the fact that I'm letting go of the past tell you that?"

"You say you're letting go
but everything's still there between us, the questions, who is right and who is
to blame." She watched him. "Isn't that true?"

"It's always been between
us," he said harshly, "but I'm telling you I'll let it go." He
drew in a deep breath and looked away from her.

Anna blinked quickly against the
tears smarting her eyes. She looked at the face of the man she loved, the deep
blue eyes, the lean planes of his cheeks with its strong jaw and chin. Why
couldn't they understand each other's needs? "Why does the past have to
ruin everything?"

"Don't throw away what we
have," he said urgently.

"I'm very careful about what
I throw away." She put her head up and flicked her hand quickly over her
eyes. "I'll help you with the open house, and you'll see what a great
success it is and you'll see everything you could ever want is right
here."

Anna didn't know what else to say.
Briefly, she touched his shoulder, knowing in her heart everything she needed
was standing right in front of her. Walking away from Tyler was the most
difficult thing she'd ever done.

Seeing again that blank look in
his eyes, she felt like she'd wounded him.

Anna stared angrily at the mountains all around her. As she
walked toward the barn and past the clearing where the new shed stood on the
old foundation, she saw the flowering bushes. The landscape was coming alive
with color and the ranch was off to great beginnings, but she knew in her heart
without Tyler it all wouldn't be worth a damn. The ranch was all she had left.
Why couldn't she have everything she'd ever wanted and still have Tyler?

"The Double B Ranch's
First Annual Open House. The Double B, currently under the management of
three-time reining champion Tyler Stanton and barrel racing veteran Annie
Barlow ―" Anna grimaced, thinking their wording made her sound old
and retired "― will host a day of fun-filled excitement. Look no
further for quality reining horses and professional training. Live
demonstrations include reining and barrel racing, chainsaw carving, blacksmith
techniques, petting zoo and balloon sculpting for the kids, and a daylong
barbecue and pig roast. A treat for the entire family." Anna peered at
Tyler over the top of the newspaper. "There's more on the history of the
ranch, but this is the fourth paper that's given us a headline. We've been
lucky to get such good coverage. You must have really pulled some
strings."

He shrugged. "It doesn't hurt
to talk to people and I did know a few people who knew a few people." He
lifted his hat from the peg by the kitchen door. "I'm going down to the
barns. I need to check any last minute arrangements."

When he didn't leave right away
Anna held her breath, wondering if he'd say something to ease the tension that
had been between them all week, ever since their confrontation in the hay lot.
Many times she'd wanted to go to him, but stubborn pride had held her back.

"Any word on Danny coming
back?" he asked.

Hiding her disappointment, she
shook her head. "I've talked to his mother several times but all she knows
is he's still really upset." Danny had never missed a day of work and she
didn't understand it, but his mother had asked her to have patience. "All
I can do is keep trying. I told her I'm going to come by on Monday."

Tyler didn't answer but merely
nodded before turning to leave. Anna sat down with a thump in the kitchen
chair, wishing they could turn back the clock. Things had deteriorated all
week. They hadn't talked again about the Rollaway Centre, but she knew they'd
called again only last night. She'd been there when the call came in but he'd
gone into his office and he hadn't discussed it with her.

They'd worked on the open house,
but their personal life had taken a back seat to everything and they hadn't
spent any time together unless it involved the ranch. Anna worried about the
future of the ranch if Tyler took the job, but she couldn't bring herself to
break the silence. They had a contract and Tyler wouldn't break that, but the
thought of him leaving just made her miserable. She knew everything was coming
to a head, there was no avoiding it, but for today she had to concentrate on
the open house. Today, the ranch was her first priority.

Ω

Forty minutes later Anna rechecked
her list as she walked through the barn area, glancing at her wristwatch for
the hundredth time to make sure she was on schedule. She loved the excitement
of organizing events, pulling all the pieces together so everything meshed in
an orderly fashion. So far, everyone was on task and things were moving along smoothly.

"Anna?" Carol's mother
entered the barn. "I've got some bad news," the older woman said.
"I'm not sure Carol is well enough to ride her mare today. She's sick to
her stomach."

"Oh, poor kid," Anna
said sympathetically. "I know how much she was looking forward to
this."

Angela bit her lip. "It's not
that she's deliberately ducking out of this, but I think she's made herself
sick with nerves. Her dad called this morning to say he was coming, and I think
she's afraid she won't measure up. She doesn't have a lot of confidence."

Anna glanced at her watch.
"Would you like me to talk to her?"

Angela looked hopeful. "Would
you? I know how much she respects you. Riding has helped her confidence
tremendously." She grimaced. "Only not where her father is involved."

"Is he critical of her?"
Anna asked carefully. Carol had barely mentioned her father, only that he and
her mother had separated last year.

"He has been in the past,
that's one of the reasons we split up. But he's been getting help and his being
here really means a lot to her. I thought she'd be okay with this, but last
night she started snapping at us, so now I'm wondering if it's been bothering
her all along."

"Carol's a good kid. If we
can get past this I know she'll do fine," Anna said confidently.
"It's basically a canter through the barrel pattern and a trot around the
barrels. She's been practicing that all week and I know she's got it down
pat."

"She's in the tack
room."

Anna went directly to the barn.
Inside the tack room she found Carol huddled on one of the couches, her legs
drawn up and her arms hugging her knees. She looked pale and her eyes were
enormous, and filmed over with tears as soon as she saw Anna.

"I'm sorry," she
blurted. "I know you're gonna be mad, but I can't do it."

Anna sat down beside her and put
her clipboard on the floor. "Have you ever seen me mad? So let's talk
about it. Why won't you be able to ride?"

Carol looked down. "I don't
feel good."

"Nerves?" she asked with
sympathy, gently touching Carol's ponytail. "I know how it is when you're
afraid of not measuring up. Your hands get cold, you start to sweat, and that
little voice in your head assures you you'll fall on your face."

Carol shot her a quick look, then
wiped her nose with a tissue and nodded.

"So, are you afraid of trying
and failing or are you afraid of being in front of everybody?"

"I'm not afraid of any of
them," Carol scoffed, then she dipped her head. "But my dad will be
here. If I mess up, he'll think I haven't learned anything. I don't see him
that much," she continued, her voice muffled. "I want him to be proud
of me."

Anna put her arm around Carol's
slender shoulders. "I bet your dad will be proud no matter how you
do." She hoped she was right. "How about I make you a deal? If you
decide you can do this, and that decision is entirely yours, I'll ride my mare
after you do your demo."

Carol's head shot up. "You'd
do that, even though―you know, you don't like being in front of
people?"

Anna hugged her again. "I'd
do it for you and maybe I have to do it for myself. What do you think? Is it a
deal?"

They shook hands.

"Deal," Carol said.
"If you can go out there, so can I."

Ω

Anna entered the paddock area
where most of the demonstrations were to take place. One of the girls she'd
hired to help out was having a difficult time winding decorative gold ribbon
around the paddock posts as a slight breeze played havoc with the lightweight
trimming.

Anna tucked her clipboard under
her arm and stepped forward to grab one end of the wayward ribbon.
"Maggie, I'll tie the beginning knots and you can wind it around the
rails, then we'll leave about ten inches of ribbon dangling."

Anna moved on from there. The
temporary bleachers had been set up, the picnic and barbecue area was all set.
She checked off items on her list as she walked around the barn and ran smack
into something. . . someone. Tipping her head back, Anna stared into familiar
deep blue eyes. Her stomach did an immediate, unsettling churn as desire arced
through her. She had a yearning to be in Tyler's arms. It had been a long week,
and she'd missed him so much. Anna looked up into his face shaded by his hat.
She could just see his dark hair on the back of his neck. He'd gone into town
for a haircut yesterday and he'd had it cut really short on the sides. She
found the close cut incredibly attractive.

"Sorry," she murmured,
not sorry at all.