Once Burned (Firehouse Fourteen Book 1) (19 page)

The presentation was another failure.

Nick studied the students at their desks, noting the bored expressions, the barely restrained sighs, and the closed eyelids. Jay's voice from the front of the room droned on and Nick knew without a doubt that the man was finding it painful to continue.

Nick couldn't blame him. He had been teaching most of these kids for the last three and four years, and even he would have found their decided lack of interest intimidating.

He glanced down at his watch and saw they only had ten minutes left. His eyes searched out Kayla, immediately finding her in the last row, back in the corner. She sat still in her seat, her head tilted down as if the scarred desk held something infinitely more interesting than whatever Jay was saying. She must have felt his eyes on her because she suddenly looked up and met his gaze with a questioning look, as if asking why he was watching her.

Nick looked away, turning back to watch the students, not surprised that even more of them were now fidgeting in their seats. He finally pushed away from the wall where he had been standing for the last twenty minutes and interrupted Jay with one hand in his direction.

He noticed the brief flicker of relief that crossed the man's face and felt himself smile just a bit in acknowledgment before turning to the class.

The sudden silence caught the attention of most of them. Nick strolled down the second aisle and stopped at one desk, waiting for the boy to look up at him. When he didn't, Nick finally reached over and took the smart phone from the boy's hand, noticing the screen opened to a cover model site.

"Mr. L, c'mon!"

"Not bad, Sam, but let's save this for later, okay?" Nick cleared the phone and powered it down before handing it back with a small smile. "Sam, what do you think the point of this class is?"

"Don't drink and drive." The boy's answer was immediate and monotone in typical teenage fashion. Some of the girls around them giggled and Nick smiled. He had picked Sam for a reason, knowing that he was popular with many of the students, especially the girls.

"Well there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. Don't drink and drive. I guess we should have just let Sam stand up and give the class so we could have all been done by now." More laughter erupted around the room, including Sam's.

Nick continued walking between the desks, making sure to meet as many of the students' eyes as possible. Yes, this is boring and unnecessary but we have to do it, his grin told them. He stopped at another desk and reached over, closing the fashion magazine that laid open in front of another student. "Renee, why don't we drink and drive?"

The girl shifted to look up at him, knowing she had been busted but playing his game willingly. "Because it's illegal."

"Not bad, Renee, not bad at all. I knew there was a reason you guys were all honors kids." More laughter. Nick realized he should have done this earlier, should have taken the lead and gotten the class to relax before anything had even started. Next time, he told himself.

He looked around once more, noticing that all eyes were now on him, including Kayla's. She watched him, her gaze curious, her face relaxed and at ease. For some reason, that made him uncomfortable. He looked away, finally moving back to the front of the class.

"Why else? Anyone?" He motioned around the room, letting the class know that it was now an open discussion.

"Because it's dangerous."

"Because you can get hurt."

"You can die."

They kept calling out the answers, talking over one another, repeating themselves. But it was that one answer,
you can die
, that kept ringing in Nick's ear. He knew the room hadn't grown silent, knew that the students were still shouting out answers and talking, that the simple phrase hadn't had the same impact on them as it had on him.

Everything froze around him. Or maybe he was the one frozen, because he could still hear the students' voices, saw them moving around in their seats, saw their smiles and heard their laughter.

He finally looked toward the back of the room, searching out Kayla, wondering how the sudden eruption around them affected her. But her reaction wasn't what he had expected or feared. He had thought that maybe hearing those words would upset her, that he would see some kind of horror or even blame on her face.

Instead, she was watching him, her head tilted to the side, the green of her eyes so vivid even from this distance. And he didn't see horror or fear or even blame. Instead, he saw concern.

The instant he recognized the concern and realized that it was concern for
him
, everything around him returned to normal. He no longer felt frozen, as if he had been set apart from everything around him for that brief confusing minute.

A bell rang somewhere in the background and he recognized it as the dismissal bell. All around him, the class came to life as students pushed away from their desks and hurried past him, talking and laughing amongst themselves, some even telling him goodbye. He responded, he was sure he did, but the air around him still made him feel as if he was suspended. There but not there, waiting.

"You know, if you had done that to begin with, this whole thing would have gone so much smoother."

Nick shook off the weirdness holding him and turned to face Jay, his mind finally catching up with everything else around him. Jay was bent over the desk, piling his paperwork together with a slight grin on his face.

"Um, yeah. I guess I should have. Sorry, I'll be sure to do that next time."

"At least they took more of the pamphlets this time." Kayla stopped next to him and held the pamphlets out for Jay then turned to face Nick. "Not bad. It kills me to say this, but Jay was right. You're actually pretty good with them. They listen to you."

Kayla's brief words of praise made him speechless and he had no idea how to respond. But the moment passed as Kayla moved past him to help Jay finish packing. And still Nick didn't seem able to move or to speak. What had happened to make him feel like he was so far removed from everything around him? Here, but not here.

"Hey, Nick." He opened his eyes at the sound of Kayla's voice so close to him and was surprised to find her standing inches away. Her hand rested on his forearm and squeezed. "Are you okay? You look, I don't know, like you're out of it or something."

"What? Oh, no." Nick gave himself a mental shake a forced a smile, surprised at Kayla’s concern. "No, I'm fine. Just deep in thought, I guess."

She watched him for another few seconds then shrugged and turned back to Jay. Nick didn't pay them much attention, his mind already back to the last few minutes of the class.

They
had
been more receptive than the previous class. And yes, they had even take a few more of the pamphlets. But Nick didn't fool himself into believing they'd taken anything to heart. What was it Kayla had said that first time?

They thought they were immortal. Invincible.

Nick knew she was right—because he had been the same way.

And had nearly killed Kayla because of it.

He turned back to his desk and absently shuffled through the paperwork and files that never seemed to go away. But he wasn't really seeing them because his gaze was focused on Kayla. She was talking to Jay, laughing softly at something he said, the corner of her mouth turned up in a small smile. Her dark hair was pulled back into a plain pony tail, the end of it swinging against the back of her dark blue polo shirt. She shouldn't have commanded his attention, not dressed as she was in her shapeless uniform, but she did.

And she always had.

Looking at her now, he realized again that she was right, had always been right. No matter what they said or did with these presentations, none of it would get through to the kids because they were invincible.

They had to make it more personal.

Nick thought again about the pictures Kayla had suggested they use, but he still didn't think that would make a difference. The pictures were graphic, yes. Could it bring the point home? To some, maybe.

But the pictures, despite how real and graphic they were, still didn't make it personal.

Nick's breath caught in his throat and his heart stuttered in his chest at the thought that suddenly slammed into him. But no, that was too personal. And he knew that Kayla wouldn't appreciate it.

He didn't think he would, either.

He shook his head, pushing the wayward thought from his mind, and looked up. Both Kayla and Jay were watching him expectantly. He offered them a half-hearted smile and a small shrug, silently admitting that he hadn't been paying any attention.

"Next one's in two weeks, right?" Jay asked, looking down at the small calendar in his hand.

"Yeah. But it's going to be a little different than these last two. With holiday break coming up, senior faculty decided to have the next one in the auditorium so everyone could participate."

Jay looked up, the surprise clear on his face. "Everyone? As in how many?"

"The entire senior class."

"Nothing like a little heads-up! Shit. When did they decide this?"

Nick grabbed a stack of files from the desk and jammed them into his briefcase. "This morning. I didn't have a chance to tell you when you got here."

"Great. Wonderful." Jay shook his head as Kayla laughed and jokingly elbowed him in the side.

"Don't worry, Jay, you'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say. I'm still not used to talking in front of groups."

"You're fine, stop worrying."

"Well, if it's any consolation, this will be the last presentation, then you're off the hook." Nick grabbed his briefcase and started walking to the door, motioning for Jay and Kayla to follow him.

"Last one? Why?"

"The program was geared to reach the senior class only. And since they'll all be there, you won't have to worry about coming back." Nick pulled the door closed behind them then led the way up the hall, noticing the relief that crossed Jay's face.

"Well, at least there's an upside, I guess."

"Jay, you'll be fine. Just think, you can go out with a bang." Kayla jokingly nudged him again, but Nick didn't miss the expression that quickly passed across her face.

Or was he just doing some wishful thinking? Because he could've sworn something like disappointment had flashed in her eyes and the subtle downward tilt to her mouth.

Yes, some kind of expression had crossed her face. But was he reading into it? He tried to tell himself he was, that he was seeing disappointment where none existed, that he was being foolish for thinking that Kayla might actually miss their forced time together.

But that didn't stop him from hoping.

Mike rolled over and glanced at the clock on the nightstand, its green digital numbers staring back at her, bright and bold in accusation.

11:12

She rolled back over with a sigh and kicked at the covers tangling her feet. It was Saturday night, she didn't have to work the next day and what was she doing?

Lying in bed. Trying to sleep.

And not having any luck.

With another heavy sigh, she kicked at the covers once more then pushed herself out of bed, reaching over to turn on the small lamp as she did. Soft light filled the room, just enough to banish the shadows to the corners.

She ignored the chill of the floor against her feet and shuffled over to the bookcase, picking a title at random, not caring what book she chose, as long as it was something to grab her attention. And since every title on this shelf was considered a 'keeper', she was pretty sure it would. At least, she hoped it would.

She sat down in the reading chair, curling her legs under her and shifting until finding the perfect position. She opened the cover of the book and flipped to the first page, hoping to get drawn into the story, hoping to stop the wayward thoughts that threatened to overwhelm her.

A full thirty minutes passed before Mike realized she was still on page one, her eyes drifting over the words without seeing them. She sighed and tossed the book aside then pulled her legs to her chest and rested her chin on her knees.

Sleep was out of the question. Reading was out of the question.

Because she was thinking too much to focus on either one.

With another sigh, she pushed herself from the chair and made her way downstairs, not bothering with any lights until she reached the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator, thinking that maybe a beer might help her sleep.

Except she didn't have any beer, because she had thrown it all out. Just like she didn't have any whiskey or brandy in the house. Not even wine.

Because of Nick and that damned condition of his.

Muttering under her breath, she reached into the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of water then angrily twisted off the cap. Damn Nick anyway. Who did he think he was, with his stupid conditions?

But that had been more than two weeks ago, and she had stuck by them. She was afraid to admit that it had been harder than she thought it would be, something she hadn't expected.

And she certainly hadn't expected that she would have lived up to those conditions, at least not in the privacy of her own home. She still wasn't sure why she had.

Take that back. No, she was.

Because she had said she would.

Because she wanted to prove, at least to herself, that she could.

She took a long swallow of water, recapped the bottle, then walked into the living room and sat on the sofa. She leaned back and stretched her legs out, staring up at the ceiling.

It was a Saturday night, and she had opted to stay home. Again.

Everyone from work had been surprised when she said she wasn't joining them at Duffy's last night. To be honest, she had kind of surprised herself. But she didn't want to go, afraid she'd give into the temptation and have a drink.

Or worse, give into the temptation of Nick.

Nick's announcement that the next presentation would be the last had surprised her. Not because there wouldn't be more—it actually made sense to do one big presentation instead of a bunch of small ones. No, what surprised her was the brief flare of disappointment that cut through her at his words, and she had to wonder why.

She gave a small laugh, the sound almost sad in the empty room around her. She didn't have to wonder why, she already knew, and part of her was loathe to admit it.

She was going to miss the informal meetings, the routine sparring and even clashing of heads and ideas that had accompanied each meeting.

She was going to miss Nick.

And that's what confused her the most. How could she miss him, when they had resolved absolutely nothing? Yeah, they had talked—but mostly in circles, skating near the edge of things that had to be said without really ever discussing them. The closest they had come had been the other night, when she had come downstairs and confessed just a small part of her confusion.

But they still hadn't discussed anything, not really.

And Mike still wasn't sure if she had forgiven him, if she even could forgive him. But would she have really slept with him if she hadn't?

That wasn't something she wanted to examine too closely, at least not tonight.

She pushed herself off the sofa with a sigh and walked back to the kitchen to turn off the light, figuring it would be best to go back to bed. She wasn't foolish enough to think sleep would come any easier now than it had an hour ago, but at least she would be more comfortable upstairs than down here.

Her foot was on the bottom step when a soft knock sounded at the front door. Mike paused, wondering if she was hearing things, then wondering who would be knocking on her door at this time of night when she heard it again.

She walked over to the door and unlocked it, then stepped back in surprise. Nick was standing in front of her, his face covered in the shadows of night. He moved just an inch, as if he had been ready to step inside, then stopped.

She stared at him, not saying anything, wondering if maybe she was imagining things, that her earlier thoughts had somehow conjured him in her mind.

"Hey." His voice was quiet, pitched low in the night surrounding him, and Mike realized that she wasn't imagining anything. Nick really was standing in front of her. He was dressed in faded denim jeans and his leather jacket, looking every inch the rebel she remembered from her youth.

Only he wasn't, not anymore.

Mike blinked her eyes and stepped back, silently inviting him inside before thinking better of it. "Nick, what are you doing here?"

He gave her a half smile, one corner of his mouth lifting oh so briefly as he walked past her. She closed the door against the cold night air and turned, only to have Nick pull her roughly against him, his mouth descending on hers before she could react.

Surprise froze her in place, but for only a second before her body reacted to his. Her hands came up to his chest, but instead of pushing him away, her fingers curled against the thermal weave of his shirt, her knuckles grazing the bare skin at the opening of the collar. A soft sigh escaped her, immediately lost in the warmth of his breath as his tongue swept into her mouth and pushed all thought from her mind.

Time lost all meaning as the heat of his body warmed her. He turned and pinned her to the door, his body flush against hers so she could feel his erection against her stomach. She sighed again, her hips thrusting against him, searching, as he pulled his mouth from hers and dragged it down her neck, then back up before stopping to nibble at the sensitive lobe of her ear.

"Do you want me to leave?"

She heard the words through the heated fog of passion but had trouble understanding them. Leave? No, not when he made her feel like this. She shook her head, unable to speak as his tongue teased the soft spot behind her ear.

"Tell me, Kayla. Tell me you want me to leave."

"What? No. No, I..." Her words drifted off, her mind trying desperately to understand what Nick was saying, what he was asking from her. She shook her head again and pushed against him, just enough so he would leave her ear and neck alone long enough for sanity to return.

"Nick, what are you doing here?" Her voice was a ragged whisper in the semi-darkness. She looked up at him, trying to gauge his reaction, but the shadows danced across his face, hiding his expression.

But they couldn't hide the burning she saw so clearly in the depths of his eyes. Nick blinked then lowered his face until his forehead rested against hers. His arms tightened around her, holding her more firmly against him.

"Nick, is something wrong?"

He pulled back just enough to look at her, his dark eyes intense. He slowly shook his head. "No. I just needed to see you. Do you want me to leave?"

His words, along with the intensity in his gaze, had an odd effect on Mike, stealing her voice and creating a whirlwind in her mind. She must have been quiet for too long though, because Nick eased his hold on her and started to pull away. The small movement sent a panic through her, a panic she didn't understand and didn't stop to question. She lifted her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, closer until her mouth met his.

Nick held himself still for a brief second but before she could question his hesitation, heat exploded between them. He quickly became the aggressor, taking control of the kiss and demanding her mouth open for him. His tongue swept in, invading, conquering even though she eagerly—willingly—surrendered to each thrust.

She ran her hands around his neck and down, pushing the jacket off his arms before reaching for the button on his jeans. Minutes dissolved as quickly as the barrier of clothing between them.

Nick's touch became more frantic, mirroring her own desperation. He grabbed her around the waist and lifted her, pinning her against the door, holding her in place with one arm while his free hand skimmed her body.

His fingers teased her nipple, pinching and squeezing before moving lower. He stroked the sensitive flesh between her legs, over and over, hard, demanding. Her insides tightened and she thrust her hips forward, needing more, so much more.

"Nick, please."

His mouth closed over hers and she could feel him smiling, felt her own smile in response as he shifted and drove into her with one long thrust.

Her head fell back on a low moan, all sensation, all thought, centered on him. He pulled out, slowly, then drove home again. And again, harder.

And yet again.

Mike cried out his name and shattered, her body exploding into a million fragments. But Nick didn't stop.

He thrust into her, harder, faster.

His breathing harsh, his hold unforgiving.

His body demanding.

Another climax rocked her, long and savage as she clung to him, saying his name over and over, whether in demand or in surrender she didn't know. Didn’t care.

His hips thrust once more, grinding into her, holding her in place as his body stiffened. Nick threw his head back, her name a low groan falling from his lips as he found his own release inside her, filling her.

Minutes went by, maybe more, before Mike slowly became aware of her surroundings.

The darkness of the living room, broken only by the light escaping from upstairs.

The quiet hum of the refrigerator, broken by the sudden drop of a cube from the ice maker.

The slight chill against her back from the door closed against the night behind them.

The intensity in Nick's dark eyes as he studied her, reading into her very soul.

"I love you, Kayla."