Authors: ARUN GUPTA
‘What the hell do I know? I am no doctor,’ Vroom said.
‘You sure she has a prescription for those/’ I said.
‘Ask her, if you have the guts,’ Vroom said.
‘No way. Let’s get to the lounge bar soon.’
‘Everything okay?’ Esha said as we got into the Qualis. ‘We heard
arguments.’
‘Nothing. As Bakshi would say, we just had some communication issues.
But now, let’s put them to Bed,’ Vroom said and turned the Qualis around.
Radhika put the medicines in her bag. Her face was calmer as the three
pills started to kick in.
Vroom pushed the Qualis to one hundred and ten, the maximum it
would go without the engine crying for mercy.
‘Slow down Vroom,’ Esha said.
‘Don’t use the words slow and Vroom in one sentence, Vroom said.
‘Dialogue,’ I said, ‘should we clap/’
A truck stuffed with bags of hay loped past us like an inelegant
elephant. Our headlights made the gunny bags glow in the dark.
‘See, even the truck was going faster than us. I am a safe driver,’ Vroom
said.
‘Sorry guys,’ Radhika said, her voice becoming more normal as the drugs
took effect. ‘I apologize for creating a scene there.’
‘What did you buy Radhika? Why did the chemist make a fuss?’ I said,
unable to control my curiosity.
‘Anti-depressants. Chemists ask questions, as they’re prescription
drugs. But most of the time they don’t care.’
‘Wow! Vroom said. ‘You mean happy drugs like Prozac and stuff.’
‘Yes, Flueoxetine is Prozac. Except it is the Indian version, so a lot
cheaper.’
‘Like all of us,’ Vroom said and laughed at his own joke.
‘But it’s dangerous to take it without medical supervision,’ Priyanka
said. ‘Isn’t it addictive?’
‘It’s legal addiction. I can’t live without it and, yes, it’s is really bad for
you. But it is still better than having to face my life,’ Radhika said.
‘Leave it Radhika—they will harm you,’ Military Uncle spoke for the first
time on our drive.
‘I had cut down, Military Uncle. But sometimes one needs a bigger dose.
Can everyone please switch to another topic? How far is this Bed?’
‘just two kilometers from here. Ninety seconds if I am driving, a lot
more his comment, as I preferred for him to keep his eyes on the road. Some
inebriated truckies drove past as Vroom dodged them.
‘I heard the Bed is really snooty,’ Priyanka said. ‘I’m not dressed at all.’
She adjusted her salwar kameez. I noticed the border of glittering stone-work
on her dark green chiffon dupatta.
‘You look fine,’ Esha reassured her, ‘the chiffon look is really in. I
should be worried. I look so grungy.’
‘Don’t worry Esha. Anyone with a navel rings to never denied entry in a
disco,’ Vroom said.
‘Well, if you girls are in doubt, they definitely won’t let in a boring
housewife like me,’ Radhika said.
‘Don’t worry. As long as we’re ready to spend cash, we will be
welcome. Plus, the DJ at Bed is my classmate from school,’ Vroom said.
‘All you school classmates have such funky jobs,’ I said.
‘Well, that is the problem. They all have rich dads. I have to work hard
to match their lifestyle. If only my rich dad didn’t have to leave us,’ Vroom
said. ‘Anyway guys, welcome to Bed. And courtesy your humble driver, it is
just 3:23 a.m. He flashed the headlights at a sign. It said ‘Bed Lounge and
Barr: Your Personal Space’.
‘Oh no, didn’t realize we’re there already,’ Esha said. She fished out a
mirror from her purse and examined her lips.
How did women manage before
mirror were invented?
‘How is my hair? It is awful as usual?’ Priyanka said to Radhika.
I looked at her long curly hair. Priyanka always said how she had the
‘most boring fair in the world’, and how could’ do nothing with it’. I felt the
urge to run my fingers through it just as I had done a hundreds times before.
But I couldn’t, as someone called Ganesh would be doing it for me in a few
weeks’ time. The oil for the Mc Donald’s French fries started simmering again
in my gut. What is the oil they use at McDonald’s anyway? It burns like hell.
‘Your hair is perfect. Anyway, it’ll be dark inside. Let’s go,’ Radhika
said. ‘C’mon Military Uncle, we’re going inside.’
#27
We followed Vroom to a huge black door, the entrance of Bed. The door
was painted so that it merged with the wall. An ultra beefy bounder and a
malnourished woman stood besides it.
‘Are you a member, sir?’ the malnourished woman addressed Vroom.
She was the hostess (or door-bitch), according to Priyanka) and wore a black
dress. She was about five feet four inches, but looked way taller because of
her thin frame and heels the size of a coke bottle.
‘So, we’ve just come for a quick drink,’ Vroom said and took out his
credit card. ‘Here, you can open the tab on this.’
‘I’m sorry sir, tonight is for members only,’ she said. The beefy bouncer
looked at us with a black, daft glare. Like Bakshi, he belonged to the non-
human species of mankind.
‘How do you become a member?’ I said.
‘You have to fill a form and pay the annual membership fee of fifty
thousand,’ the hostess said, as calmly as if she’d asked us for small change.
‘What? Fifty grand for this place in the middle of nowhere?’ Priyanka
said and pointed her finger to the door. She had draped her dupatta in
reverse, in an attempt to look hip.
‘I suggest you go somewhere else then,’ the hostess said. She looked at
Priyanka scornfully. A fully-clad female is a no-no at disco.
‘Don’t you look at me like that,’ Priyanka said.
‘Hey cool it, Priyanka, Vroom said and turned to the bouncer. ‘What’s
the deal, dude. Is DJ Jas inside? I know him.’
‘Huh…what…’ the bouncer said with a dumb, nervous expression. It was
the most challenging question anyone had asked him in months.
‘You know Jas?’ the hostess said, her voice warmer now.
‘School buddy of seven years. Tell him Vroom is here,’ Vroom said.
‘Cool. Why didn’t you tell me that before, Vroom?’ the hostess said and
gave Vroom a flirtatious smile. She bent over to release the velvet ropes. The
skeletal structure of her upper torso was visible. If she broke a bone, she
wouldn’t need an x-ray.
‘Can we go in now/’ Esha asked the hostess with a bored expression.
‘Yes. Though Vroom, next time, please tell you friends to dress up for
Bed,’ the hostess said and glanced meaningfully at Priyanka and Radhika.
‘I could wring her tiny neck, just like that. One twist and it will snap
like a chicken bone,’ Priyanka said.
As we were in, the bouncer frisked Vroom and me. I finally understood
the purpose of his existence. After us, he went towards Priyanka.
‘What?’ I said to the bouncer.
‘I need to check this lady,’ he said. ‘She acts like she could cause
trouble.’ He towered over Priyanka, who just froze.
And then, I don’t know how, but the words came to me.
‘You’re not touching her, you understood,’ I said.
The bouncer was startled. He turned to me. He had biceps the size of
my thighs, and deep inside I shuddered to think how much it would hurt if he
delivered a punch across my face.
‘What’s up now?’ the hostess came towards us.
‘Nothing, just teach your Tarzan out here how to behave with women,’ I
said and pulled at Priyanka’s hand. In a second we were inside Bed.
We chose a corner bed, which had two hookahs next to it.
‘Why is the hostess so mean?’ Esha said, as she hoisted herself onto the
bed. She took two cushions to rest her elbows. ‘Did you hear her?’ “
Go
somewhere else
”. Is that how you treat customers?’
‘It’s their job. They’re paid to be mean. It gives the place attitude,’
Vroom said carelessly as he lit up a hookah. I looked at the hot, smoldering
coals and thought of Ganesh. I don’t know why, I though it would be fun to
drop some down his pants.
‘I want a job that pays me to be mean. All they tell us in the call center
is “be nice, be polite, be helpful”—being mean is so much more fun,’ Radhika
said and reclined along a long cushion. For someone who had just had a really
rough night she looked nice; although I’m not sure anymore can look ugly in
ultraviolet-candlelight anyway. I wondered how a moron called Anuj could
leave her.
Only Esha and Radhika got to lie down. The rest of us sat cross-legged
on the bed.
Vroom went to say hi to DJ Jas, who was playing some incomprehensible
French-African-Indian fusion music. He returned with twelve kamikaze shots.
Military Uncle declined, and we didn’t protest as it meant more alcohol for us.
Vroom took Uncle’s extra shots and drank them in quick succession.
We had barely finished our kamikazes when another thin woman (a Bed
specialty) came up to us with another six drinks.
‘Long Island ice Teas,’ she said, ‘courtesy DJ Jas.’
‘Nice. You have your friends in the right places,’ Radhika said as she
started gulping her Long Island like it was a glass of water. When you don’t get
to drink on a regular basis, you go crazy at the chance.
‘These Long Island are very stiff,’ I said after a few sips, I could feel my
head spin. ‘Easy guys,’ I said, ‘our shift isn’t over. We said one quick drink, so
let’s go back soon.’
‘Cool it man. Just one last drink,’ Vroom said as he ordered another set
of cocktails.
‘I am getting high,’ Priyanka said. ‘I’m going to miss this. I am going to
miss you guys.’
‘Yeah right. We’ll see when you move to Seattle. Here guys, try this—it
is apple flavour,’ Vroom said as he took a big drag from the hookah. He passed
it around, and everyone (except Military Uncle, whose expression was growing
more resigned by the minute) took turns smoking it. DJ Jas’s music was
mellow, which went well with the long drags we were taking from the hookah.
There were two flat LCD screens in front of our bed, one tuned to MTV,
and the other to CNN. A Bollywood item number was being played on MTV, as
part of its ‘Youth Special’ program. A girl stripped off successive items of her
clothing as the song progressed. The breaking news on CNN was that the US
considering going to war with Iraq again. I noticed Vroom staring at thee TV
showing CNN.
‘Americans are sick,’ Vroom said, as he pointed to a US politician who
had spoken out in support of the war. ‘Look at him. He would make the whole
word if he could have his way.’
‘No, not the whole world. I don’t think they’d blow up China,’ Priyanka
said, sounding high. ‘They need the cheap labor.’
‘Then I guess they won’t blow up Gurgaon either. They need the call
centers,’ Radhika said.
‘So we are safe,’ Esha said, ‘that’s’ good. Welcome to Gurgaon, the
safest city on earth.’
The girls started laughing. Even Military Uncle smiled.
‘It’s not funny girls. Our government doesn’t realize this, but Americans
are using us. We are sacrificing an entire generation to service their call
centers,’ Vroom said. Convincing me that one day he could be a politician.
Nobody responded.
‘Don’t you agree/’ Vroom said.
‘Can you please stop this trip…’ I began. As usual, I was put on mute.
‘C’mon Vroom. Call centers are useful to us too,’ Esha said. ‘You know
how hard it is to make fifteen grand a month outside. And here we are, sitting
in an air-conditioned office, talking on the phone, collecting our pay and
going home. And it is the same for hundreds and thousands of young people.
What’s wrong with that?’
‘An air-conditioned sweatshop is still a sweatshop. In fact, it is worse,
because nobody sees the sweat. Nobody sees you brain getting rammed,’
Vroom said.
‘Then why don’t you quit? Why are you still here?’ I said. I hate it when
he ruins my high with his high ground.