One to Keep (One to Hold) (25 page)

Then I felt the pressure of her hands on my arms. She was pushing me back.

Releasing her, my heartbeat, my breath stilled, waiting. Would she ask me to leave? The mere suggestion shot pain through my core.

“I don’t know, Patrick.” I could tell she was trying not to cry. “It hurts so much.” Her head dropped, and a tear fell. My insides twisted. “I wanted…”

A few seconds passed, and she didn’t finish.

“What did you want?”

She sniffed and for a moment she didn’t speak. When at last she did, her voice was barely above a whisper. “I wanted to be the one having your baby.”

“What?” I swept her back into my arms, and though she tried to push away, I held her tight until she gave in, staying in my embrace, close to my heart. “I want you to have my baby. When you’re ready, I mean.”

She shook her head, but I could tell she was weakening. I took a chance and leaned in for another kiss. She gave me a small kiss back before turning her cheek, and I had to fight everything in me that wanted to take her face in my hands and kiss her over and over, to make up for every day I’d missed.

“Are there any more secrets you’re keeping from me?” she said, still resistant. “Any more men who are really women just waiting to surprise us?”

“God, I hope not.” My forehead rested on hers, my hope rising again.

“I’m serious.”

My arms did relax at that, and I let out a deep exhale. “There is one thing you should know. I was with a call girl just before Scottsdale—”

She stepped back. “Call girl? Have you been tested—?”

“I used protection the whole time, but I didn’t know she was a professional. It was all a setup.”

Elaine’s arms crossed, and her eyes narrowed. “Who set you up?”

All the ground I’d made suddenly felt like quicksand, and I struggled to get us back to that place we’d just been.

My hands went into my back pockets, and I looked down. “Stacy.”

“I thought that was over. Is she still in your life, too?”

“No!” I almost shouted. “After I confronted her about it, I don’t think I’ll ever see her again. I’d better not.”

Elaine’s arms were still crossed, and she turned to the side, looking down. I waited, watching her.

“Call girls, crazy fiancés, babies everywhere…” The list against me sounded pretty awful, but at the same time, I could swear I heard the faintest glimmer of a change in her tone. “I’m not sure how I feel about this,” she said facing me. “Being with someone with so much baggage.”

“Technically, none of those things were my fault.”

Her eyebrow arched. “You didn’t sleep with Kenny?”

“She was on the pill!”

I watched as she chewed her lip, her eyes dropping. “Come here,” I said softly, pulling her into my arms. It was a risk, but I was taking it.

“I don’t know,” she said, but she didn’t resist me. She let me hold her.

Her heart beat against my chest, and I lowered my face so that our mouths were a breath apart. I wanted to kiss her so badly. Her chin lifted slightly, and we were right there. But when she spoke, her voice was still a quiet argument.

“I like nice men.”

Everything we’d done together flickered across my mind, and I smiled. “No you don’t.”

With that, I reclaimed those lips. Her arms went around my neck, sending heat flooding to my core. No distance was between us now. We were back, she was back in my arms. Three weeks of wanting her exploded in my chest.

She didn’t push me away or tell me no as I kissed her again with more urgency. She turned, and I kissed her cheek.

“I’m too weak when it comes to you,” she sighed as I traced the line of her jaw with my lips. “I should be stronger.”

My kisses moved to her temple and into her hairline. She was so beautiful, and I had her again. “You’re incredibly strong,” I murmured. “You held me off for three weeks when everything in me wanted to come here and take you back.”

I could feel her breathing pick up as I kissed her, and the tension below my waist grew tighter. My mouth returned to hers, and it opened quickly, tongues uniting, her fingers now threading in my hair. Her lips were so sweet, but I moved my kisses to her chin, dropping down to her neck, and unfastening the buttons on her shirt, kissing every spot of delicate skin that was revealed as it came apart.

“I just ached for you,” she said. “At night, all I could remember were your hands. Oh,” she gasped as I unfastened her bra and quickly cupped her breasts, sliding my thumbs over her tight nipples.

“What else did you remember?” I leaned down, pulling one into my mouth. She moaned, and I lifted her into my arms, carrying her back to the bedroom. My dick was straining against my pants, and I wanted to taste her, be inside her, have every part of her again. Three weeks was too long to be without her, and my body craved her.

Her hands were on my neck, and her cheek rested on my shoulder. “Every time I saw Cooper, it hurt so much. I thought about everything we’d said, and I wanted it all back.”

Spreading her out on the bed, I knelt in front of her, pulling her jeans down, sliding them over her hips along with her thong. “You should’ve called me,” I said as I caught the back of one knee then the other, lifting them and opening her before me.

Her eyes were hooded as I leaned forward to dip my tongue inside. “Oh, god,” she moaned. “I couldn’t,” she gasped, threading her fingers into my hair.

My tongue flattened against the tight little bud nestled between her folds, circling it and teasing it as her hips rocked with my motions. She moaned again, and I almost went off at that delicious sound.

“You can always call me,” I said, kissing the crease in her thigh.

She whimpered, and I returned to what I knew she wanted, focusing my attention on the space between her thighs, giving her a little suck and moving my fingers from behind her knees to deep inside her. She moaned and squirmed against my mouth, bucking and quivering as she started to come.

Watching her beautiful body twisting in ecstasy had me aching to be inside her, but I held back. My tongue slid through her folds before returning to the center, where it moved up slowly then flickered back and forth quickly.

“Oh, god!” she cried out, jerking her hips as the orgasm flooded her body. I felt it in her thighs, and I rolled the condom on fast before plunging deep inside to finish together. Her legs wrapped around me as her insides held me tight. All of the pain and longing of the last several weeks vanished in the rush of us coming together like this. Her heart rose up to meet me as our tongues entwined, and through the deep haze of our connection, I felt our souls mesh like two perfectly matched pieces. My puzzle solved.

We rode out the last waves of pleasure until we collapsed against each other, her arms loose around my neck, her cheek on my chest. I felt happy and whole again with her beside me this way. I rolled onto my back, drawing her close against me—my favorite way to hold her. This time I had every intention of keeping her there.

“I love you,” I whispered against her ear, kissing her as I watched her cheek rise with a smile.

“I love you,” she whispered back.

Relaxing my arms, I allowed her to fall back against the pillow so I could see her lovely face. “I’m sorry I made choices that hurt you.”

“You didn’t know,” she said, trying to roll back to me, but I stopped her.

“Look at me,” I said more firmly, and she leaned back again to meet my gaze. “No one will ever mean as much to me as you do. You have my heart. You always will.” Tears sparkled in her eyes, and I leaned forward to kiss them away.

“Are you saying you’re mine?” she whispered, a tiny smile lifting the corner of her beautiful mouth.

“Yes,” I said, kissing that corner. “Will you be mine?”

She rose to meet me and then some, pushing me back against the pillows, opening my mouth with her kiss. I followed her lead, meeting her tongue, my hands moving to the sides of her head, my fingers threading through her silky locks. She pulled her chin up, breaking our kiss and I caught her neck with my mouth. She was on me in a straddle now, and it wouldn’t take much for me to be back inside her.

“I’m yours,” she gasped before dipping down to cover my mouth briefly. “I’ve been yours since that first kiss in the desert. Since the day you dropped everything and flew to comfort me when I called. Even these last few weeks, when I wasn’t sure how I felt, I was still yours. I’ll always be yours. It only hurt because I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone else having any part of you.”

Rolling her back, I quickly changed my protection, sliding her thighs open and moving back inside her. She only sighed, eyes closed as I rocked our hips in a gentle motion, kissing her neck, her shoulders, nipping her breasts, loving every part of our bodies uniting in this way.

“You have every part of me,” I whispered against her skin as I kissed my way back to her mouth.

Our bodies moved faster, friction building until we were both coming again, blinding and gorgeous, her cries of release mixed with mine to form the only sounds we heard. My future, my home, my family—everything was right here in her arms.

Breathing fast, spent, and happy, I dropped down on the bed beside her. She scooted closer to me. “I have one thing to show you.”

“What?” I smiled, but she hopped up, heading to the dining room.

I took a moment to straighten the sheets, dispose of the condoms, and prop up the pillows. She was back again holding both our phones and climbed in beside me.

“What is it?” I said, smiling as I watched her nestle down, resting her head on my chest, fitting perfectly under my arm.

“I figured I’d better show this to you so there wouldn’t be any misunderstandings later.” She touched the face and pulled up a text marked with my name.

“Did you text me tonight?” I asked, tilting the face of her phone so I could see it.

“I had just pressed send when you appeared at my door.” She took my phone and put it in my hands. “I knew it was too soon for you to have gotten it.”

I switched over to my text messages. “What did you say?”

The light blinked, and I read what she wrote. It was one word.

“Remember how it works?” she said. “If it hurts too much?”

I nodded, realizing now she would never have sent me away. Warmth flooded my entire body as I met her eyes.

Bubblegum
.

In that one word, I was back. We were both back. Safe and exactly where we belonged.

Epilogue

Elaine

Control. Choosing my own destiny. Firmly holding the reins—these have always been the most important things in my life.

They’re why I didn’t go to law school, they’re probably why I love teaching so much. They’re definitely why I stayed with Brian too long. He’d never posed a threat to my independence. He didn’t ask me for anything. He made no demands… And we shared the most uninspiring, unromantic, passionless relationship of my life.

Eight months with one man has changed everything.

With a sigh, I lean my head on my hand to watch him sleep. Patrick Knight. I lightly touch his smoky hazel eyes, now closed. My gaze travels up to his light-brown hair tipped with natural gold highlights I beg him not to trim. (They’re so beachy!)

My chest rises with the warmth of the overwhelming, out-of-control, completely hopeless love I have for him.

Another first for me—I do
not
fall hopelessly in love. In all of my relationships, I’m the dominant one, the one who calls the shots, decides when it’s time to have sex, when it’s time to end it. Not with this man.

His lined stomach rises and falls gently with his breathing, and my eyes continue their journey to where the sheet is draped across his waist. A memory of that first night I tied him up flickers through my mind, and heat flares between my legs. God, that had been wild. And incredibly hot. I could still see his muscles rippling as he struggled to get free, and a little shiver runs through me.

That edge between intense love and intense power is absolutely thrilling. He took me so hard… The next day, I’d run away like a scared little girl. I knew in that moment I could never say no to him. He would take everything from me, and I’d give it to him willingly. He was stronger than me, and I loved it. And it terrified me.

Sliding down on the mattress, I press my back into his side and hold up my left hand. A square-cut diamond engagement ring, surrounded by tiny baguettes is on my third finger. A walk on the beach, sunset, I didn’t know what he was doing until I felt the cool metal sliding on my finger. Of course I said yes.

“Still like your ring?” his voice is behind my shoulder, low and in my ear, and the sound registers in my core.

“Yes.” Turning my face to kiss his nose, his lovely eyes blink slowly, and I smile. “Did you sleep well?”

Strong arms go around my waist, holding me tightly against his chest, like he’s afraid I’ll slip away. Like that could ever happen.

“Mm-hm,” he breathes, kissing the crook of my neck. Everything inside me lights up at the mixture of love and desire in his voice. I don’t have to look down to know what he wants. I can feel it.