One to Keep (One to Hold) (6 page)

Tears were in her cracked whisper. “Nothing hurt like losing Blake.”

My arms tightened around her, and I kissed the top of her head. “I know.” My hand continued moving up and down her back. “Nothing kicks the shit out of you like love.”

After that, I only held her. She didn’t shake or jerk anymore with sobs, but I could tell she was still crying. I didn’t know how much time passed before she stopped. I was struggling with sleep myself when she spoke again.

“This doesn’t change anything.” Her voice sounded like sleep, and my arms were still around her skinny body. I remembered the pizza I was supposed to buy her.

“Right,” I said. “No strings. Just friends.”

Then I thought of my kid sister Amy dealing with all Kenny had faced and being alone in some guy’s bed. I would hope he wouldn’t be a dickhead.

“You’re safe here,” I added. “Just sleep now.”

In less than a minute, we were both out.

* * *

My eyes opened, and I was alone. Sitting up, I whipped the sheets back and grabbed my jeans off the chair before making my way down the hall to the kitchen. Where was she? Had she left?

“Kenny?”

“In the kitchen,” she answered, and I saw her as I rounded the corner. She sat on the counter sipping coffee from a mug, looking even younger with no makeup and wearing my too-big shirt over her jeans. “I’m keeping this, by the way. It smells good—like you.”

I shrugged, going over to lean beside her. “Sure.”

She lowered her leg and hopped down, crossing the space to put her mug in the sink. I only watched her, wondering what to say. I didn’t want to apologize—I wasn’t sorry for what happened between us—but I wanted to know she was okay.

“I called a cab,” she said. “It should be here any minute.”

“Why did you do that? I’ll drive you home.”

“It’s better this way.” She returned to where I stood, pushing me back and leaning against my chest. Damn she was short without her stilts. I put my arms around her.

“You’re good in bed.” She said it like she was reading a weather report.

“So are you.”

“If things were different, we’d definitely start dating now.”

“But I thought—”

“And it would be a
huge
mistake, because we’d end up being each other’s rebound person, and it would completely screw up this beautiful thing we’ve got here.” She waved a finger back and forth between us.

My eyebrow cocked. “What do we have?”

“You helped me.” A bony hip pushed against mine. Then her voice softened. “Thanks for that.”

The forty-eight hours we’d known each other flew through my mind, from the first shot of those blue eyes to the dimple, the tattoo, last night in the car, her sleeping in my arms. I slid a dark lock off her cheek. “I hope I did.”

“I put my number in your phone,” she continued, stepping out of my arms. “Keep in touch, okay? Just as friends.”

I nodded. “Are you feeling better today?”

“No. But I feel different.”

I was going to say more, but the loud honking of the taxi horn broke up the moment. She reached down and grabbed her blue suede shoes then quickly stepped back to kiss my cheek before turning and dashing to the door. “You’re a great guy, Patrick. Don’t change because some stupid bitch screwed you over.”

A smile crossed my lips. “And it’s okay for you to start living again.”

She nodded and made an air-kiss before heading out. I stood there thinking about what had happened. Dangerously sweet.

Picking up my phone, I scrolled to her number and typed a text.
Tell me if you ever need anything.

Her reply flashed back.
Stop being so nice. Haven’t you learned?

I breathed a laugh.
Bye, Peg.

Bye, Bingley.

Chapter 4 – Safety Off

Bank fraud was the last thing on my mind as I sat at my desk Monday morning. All I could think about was Kenny. Not like I wanted her, although it was nice having her in my bed and definitely nice getting laid. Somehow, despite what happened in the car, my feelings changed through what happened between us to something different and new—to me, at least.

Rubbing my forehead, I realized she’d seen straight through me, and she’d managed to drag the real me out—the guy who could love someone enough to get hurt. Badly. I’d intended to keep that guy good and locked down. Maybe permanently.

She’d said we helped each other, but at the moment I was feeling shaken, off my game. Like I wasn’t as hardened as I’d thought.

For Kenny and me, love had kicked both our asses, and in our own ways we’d shut it out, put up the walls, closed shop. I wasn’t ready to reopen for business, but she’d put a crack in my barrier.

Now she was headed back to everyone who’d told her not to follow her heart in the first place. I wanted to go back with her—not as her boyfriend, more to punch anyone in the face who might try to say
I told you so
. I wanted to protect her from that. I wanted to protect us both.

It was a strange arrangement to love somebody I didn’t want to screw—who wasn’t my sister. Thankfully, Derek stopped at my door, interrupting all the cognitive dissonance bullshit.

“We hitting the gym this afternoon?” He was slightly less formal today—still in the suit, but no tie.

“Sure.” I blinked back to my computer.

He stayed in my open door a beat longer. “Williams was impressed by your report Friday. If you’re interested, I can give you the Alliance account.”

“Thanks,” I nodded. “I’ll take it.”

“Now I’ve got to straighten out this shit on my desk.” He turned, and I heard him call Nikki in a tone that was sharper than usual. My brow lined. Even though she’d turned me down, Nikki was cool. I didn’t like how he talked to her.

God, I was a gooey mess today. I had to fucking get it together.

She swished past my door, wearing a bright yellow wrap-dress. I shook my head and turned back to my computer. “Whatever,” I said under my breath. Nikki was a big girl as she’d let me know.

Five minutes later, a loud slam had me out of my chair and into the hallway. Derek’s door was the source of the noise, and inside Nikki was yelling. I couldn’t believe my ears. For a few moments, I waited… this wasn’t exactly a domestic disturbance, but I knew from my training about walking in on these kinds of things. His door opened again, and I heard him speak.

“You need to calm down,” he said in the sharp tone I knew from experience would get the exact opposite response. “I was just saying—”

“You were just implying I was incompetent. Again.” I’d never seen Nikki mad, but her eyes were flashing as she spun back to her desk and snatched up her bag. From this angle, I could also see she was hurt. “You can do it yourself,” she said loudly. “I quit.”

My stomach dropped, and Derek and I both sprung forward at that.

“Wait—” I started.

“Stay out if it, Patrick,” she snapped at me. “I’ve been here a lot longer than you, and I’m sick of his shit.”

“Nikki, you’re making a mistake.” Derek used neither the tone nor the words I knew she wanted to hear. She wanted an apology.

“And you need to get laid.” She spun on her heel and pushed through the glass doors. I caught a “Goodbye, Patrick” as the door breezed shut again.

Anger clear on my face, I turned back to my business partner. “The fuck?”

He shook his head and went back into his office. “I’ll handle it,” he said, slamming his dark wooden door.

For a moment, I stood there looking at her empty desk and his closed door. Princeton was supposed to be less drama. Shit.

* * *

Derek stayed in his office with the door closed the rest of the day. I managed to get some work accomplished, but I was still restless by six. Going to the gym seemed like a good idea, although I figured I’d be going alone.

He emerged just as I was picking up my bag. Irritation rose in my chest, but I waited. “You coming?”

The phone rang in his office, and he held up a hand. “Meet you there in five.”

Going back inside, he closed the door again, and I left for Building E ready to find out what happened in his office this morning.

At the gym, I loaded the bar with a more reasonable weight and lay back, lifting it myself and doing eight reps. Derek entered as I finished, and I returned it to the rack, sitting up to look at him.

He adjusted the strap on his glove and glanced at me briefly before picking up a set of dumbbells. I stood and went over to do the same, still not speaking.

“I talked to the temp service,” he finally said. “New girl can start Friday.”

I put the dumbbells on the rack roughly. “You’re not getting Nikki back?”

He exhaled loudly and put his set down easier. “No.”

At the bench-press bar, he added more plates to what I’d just done. Anger was rising in me with every one. “Why not?”

Then he paused and turned to me. “Patrick, you’ve been here a little more than a week. I get it you liked Nikki, or whatever was going on between you two, but she was a terrible secretary. She’s lucky she stayed as long as she did.”

He was giving me the little brother routine. Fuck that. I exhaled, jaw clenched. “Tell me what she did that was so bad. We’re business partners. I should be in on decisions like this since they effect me.”

“Fine,” he sat up. “The day before you started, I had to fly to Manhattan. A quick, 24-hour trip, right?”

I shrugged. “Okay.”

“She booked my flight in and out of JFK. She booked my car at LaGuardia.” He let that sink in for a moment. “Do you know how far apart the two are?”

I crossed my arms. I didn’t have a comeback.

“Between cabs and the hassle of getting in and out, I was late to all my meetings, I didn’t get any work done. I fucking hate cabs.”

“So she made a mistake. It’s probably easy to do.”

His brow furrowed. “You think?”

“Hell, I don’t know. Maybe?”

“Okay, Thursday I’ve got to be in Dallas. I’m flying into Love Field. Do you know where my car was booked?”

My brow rose, and I almost laughed. “DFW?”

“Yes!” He exploded, and I did laugh. “It’s a good thing I checked it today.”

“Okay, so she sucks at travel plans.” I picked up the towel, ready to let him have this one. “She types one helluva report.”

“Nobody sees those but us.” He tightened the strap on his glove. “She doesn’t follow directions. I was supposed to have your portfolio on my last trip. It wasn’t there. I’d made a digital presentation for the Wall Street guys. Not in my briefcase.”

“But the police coding...” I couldn’t resist.

“Don’t give me that.” He was still pissed, but at least I understood.

I walked over and pulled on the lat machine. “Well, I liked her,” I said, catching the other handle. “Maybe she needed more training.”

Derek laid back and pushed on the bench-press bar. That’s when I remembered I was supposed to be spotting and walked back over to him. “I don’t have time to train a secretary,” he grunted, pushing up. “I need someone I don’t have to think for.”

I helped him with his set, remembering the other part he’d said. “There wasn’t anything between us. Not that I didn’t try.”

The muscle in his jaw moved, but he didn’t answer.

“You gotta admit,” I continued, “the girl was stacked.”

He sat up, recovering. “No pens in the company ink,” was his only response between breaths.

“Where else are you dipping it?”

“None of your fucking business.”

I shrugged, picking up my towel and heading for the door. “Okay, but it’s one thing to mourn somebody. It’s another thing to give up. You’re only forty.”

“Thanks for the advice, Yolo.”

“Exactly,” I said before pushing through the door.

He continued with his workout, and I was pretty sure nothing I said had made a difference to him. Still it was worth a shot. I felt like Kenny would’ve wanted me to try.

* * *

The office was quiet with Nikki gone. I was between cases, restless and bored. I’d texted Kenny a few times, but she’d left for Bayville Tuesday afternoon. Derek took off for Dallas Thursday, and I was alone in the office, ready for anything to happen when I heard a little tap on my door.

Swiveling around in my chair, I felt my jaw drop, but closed it fast.
Hello, unspoken wish-fulfillment.
The woman in my doorway was tall with long, white-blonde hair and bangs that ended just in her dark brown eyes. She wore a tight beige dress with a
V
neck showing the right amount of cleavage, and all that awesome was perched on long, tanned legs ending in brown heels. In one blink, the distractions in my brain disappeared, and I remembered my new philosophy. New Patrick was back, and this female had his full attention.

“Are you Knight or Alexander?” Her voice was low and sultry, and her hand went to her hip, which cocked to the side. It was like a scene out of an old detective film. I half expected her to ask me for a cigarette.