Sitting back again, I chew my lip. Now I’m nervous. “Okay?”
Her voice is thickening, and I can tell she’s going to cry. “I pulled this stupid stunt, and… nothing happened.
Nothing!
We must’ve had sex a hundred times last month, and I started today just like clockwork.”
I begin to breathe again. “But that’s a good thing, right?”
She nods, but she doesn’t answer me.
“Hang on.” I roll my awkward self so I can put my feet on the floor and then scoot closer to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “What are you thinking right now?”
“That I’m broken?” She puts her head on my shoulder as the tears fall. “What if I can’t get pregnant? I really will lose him… then what will I do?”
At that moment, the show’s enormous musical performance erupts from the screen. We both jump, and I scramble for the remote to mute it.
My heart is thumping, but I go back to where she is, taking her hand. “I think you should talk to Patrick about it. He might want to wait on another baby, considering what’s happening with Kenny—”
“Yes, Kenny.
She
can have his babies.” She cries harder, falling into my lap. “He’s going to leave me for her.”
“Oh my god, he is not! For starters, Patrick doesn’t love Kenny, he loves
you
. And jeez, Lainey, it was only one month! Come on…”
Sitting up and shaking her head, she wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “I know it’s true. I can feel it in my gut. This is just what I get.”
“What you get for what?”
“For being jealous? For thinking evil things about Kenny and her baby…” She sniffs. “I actually hoped—”
“Stop. You have
always
been dramatic. Just because you thought something about your fiancé’s baby mama doesn’t mean you actually meant it.”
“I meant it.” Her voice is low and her chin drops. “I’m a horrible person, and now I’m getting what I deserve. I’ll never have Patrick’s baby, and he’ll leave me for her. Just wait and see.”
“What the hell! Of all the—I am never letting that boy leave town again! And you’re cut off. No more margaritas.”
She falls back on the cushions to cry. It’s possible she’s on a jag, so I try for counter-maneuvers.
“In fact, I might text him right now and tell him you’ve gone nuts, and it only took one week of him being out of town for it to happen.”
She flies back up then. “Don’t you dare! I don’t want him to know what I’ve done.”
“So far you haven’t done anything but play pregnancy Russian roulette and talk like a crazy person.”
“He’s going to leave me for her, Mel. He doesn’t know it now, but he’s going to take one look at his little baby boy, and it’s going to be over for me.”
Catching her cheeks, I lift her face. “Look at me. Yes, Patrick is going to fall in love with his son, but he is insanely in love with you. Nothing is going to change that. He’s drawn to you. He can’t fight it. You’re the candle, and he’s the moth.”
She blinks tears, and I pull her to me, rubbing her back. “Trust me. I can see what you can’t, and as much as I know Patrick would love it if you got pregnant, you need to include him in the planning.”
“I know,” she sniffs, holding my waist. “I want to believe that.”
“Then believe it.”
We’re quiet for a few moments as her sniffles gradually subside. My thoughts drift to the young woman I’ve only met once. “Why did Kenny call?”
Elaine sits up and grabs a napkin off the table, blotting her cheeks. “She needed him to cosign for her to get a car loan.”
I nod, pressing my lips together. “I thought it might be something with the baby.”
“No.” She folds the napkin and then unfolds it again. “He called the dealer the next day and just bought it for her, said she doesn’t need to worry about a car note.”
That makes me smile. “He’s really sweet to her.” My smile quickly vanishes when I see Elaine’s chin drop. Her brow crinkles again, and I grab her hand, hoping to derail any more tears. “They’re
friends
. It’s a good thing, Lainey. What if she were a raging bitch?”
Her lips press together as she studies the napkin. “You’re lucky. You don’t have anything threatening your relationship with Derek.”
As much as I want to argue she doesn’t either, I pause and think about it for a few moments. Even though she’s drunk and irrational at the moment—or maybe
because
she is—I let my guard down. “I used to be afraid he’d never love me as much as he loved Allison.”
Her face jerks up to mine. “What the hell? Whatever would make you think something like that?”
Shrugging, I look at our hands. “She was his first real love. They dated in high school, she waited for him to come back from Iraq. I can tell she was this wonderful, amazing person, and I—”
“Now who’s talking crazy? Derek Alexander is the most threatening man I’ve ever met in my life, and when you’re in the room, he completely changes. It’s like he’s your personal tame lion.”
“Still, she had his heart first, and he mourned her for so long.”
“Okay, so you said you
used
to be afraid. What changed?”
“Oh! That’s why I’m telling you this.” For a moment my old fears had tried to creep in again, but I scoot forward. “I finally just told him. I said it out loud to him.”
“And?”
“And it was the best thing I’ve ever done. He opened up and told me things… I don’t think he would ever have said to me otherwise. You know how guys are.”
“Patrick will talk, but only when he’s in the mood.”
“Right!” I relax, leaning back on the cushions. “You need to talk to him about how you feel when he’s in that mood.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t know. It just feels different, and you don’t have anything else to be afraid of with Derek. No dark secrets.”
“I’m afraid of what might happen tonight.” Once the words are out, I wish I’d never said them. Elaine’s brow creases, and it’s clear she hasn’t connected the dots on what could happen if things get out of hand in Baltimore.
“What do you mean? You think Derek might do something—”
“Illegal. Something that if he’s caught, he’ll be taken away from me. You know how protective he is. He’s done things… And I’m afraid he’ll do them again, and then I’ll lose him.”
We’re quiet, and Elaine’s green eyes travel over my shoulder and out the window. Up and away across the miles to where we both know they’re waiting. She blinks, and she’s back here with me.
“Patrick won’t let that happen. I know he won’t. Derek’s like a brother to him—a brother he
likes
—and he won’t let him… get caught.”
She didn’t say
let him do it
, I mentally note. “That’s what I’m counting on.”
Quiet again, we hold hands until she pulls me into a hug. “Isn’t there a saying about how if you speak your fears, they lose their power?”
A knot is in my throat, and I’m not sure I believe it. Still I go with her. “It sounds familiar.”
“Well, we’ve said it then. Now our fears have to disappear.”
I hold onto my friend. She holds onto me, and we settle in to wait, hoping against hope that our fears are now nothing more than toothless monsters.
Chapter 13: To Slaughter a Pig
Derek
Tonight’s watch is different from last night’s. Unable to find a way to get Patrick from the restaurant to our hideout without being caught, we’d decided he’d be with me from the start, leaving Star alone with Sloan.
We both sit in silence in the tech booth, waiting. Neither of us knows what’s happening in the Oceanaire, and we can only hope she manages to lure him here on her own. If anything else happens, we won’t know until it’s too late.
It’s the worst-case scenario.
“When you were in country, did you ever do a night watch?” Patrick is sitting on the floor, his back against the wall. He’s got one of his gloves off, and he’s rolling a quarter back and forth across his knuckles. “This reminds me of night watch.”
“More like being in the advance party.” Going ahead of the battalion into a location, no way of knowing what might happen or what surprises might be waiting. “It’s a little like that. Minus the IEDs.”
My partner exhales and pulls the glove back over his hand. Then he pushes off the floor and steps over to lean beside me against the counter. “You’re right. Military deployment is way fucking worse than this. This is plain old detective work, pure and simple.”
“Or police work. Waiting around for what’s coming.”
Glove back off, he starts with the quarter again, back and forth. “Why’d you become a Marine? Other than you were born to play the part?”
“That’s pretty much it.” I watch the quarter rotate over his knuckles and think about being a kid, waiting on my dad to come home, hearing my mother softly cry herself to sleep at night. “My dad was a Marine. His dad was a Marine—”
“Phew, sounds like a fun group.”
“They weren’t so bad.”
Patrick exhales. Both gloves are off, and he switches the coin to his other hand, continuing the trick. “When Stuart said he was joining the corps, I wasn’t a bit surprised. He’d been perfecting that fucking attitude for years.”
“Your brother is a great Marine. He had my back more than once.” Checking my phone, it’s after ten. I don’t know how much longer this could take or when to worry if they don’t show.
“You’d better keep the gloves on in case we have to move fast.” He stops fidgeting, and puts the quarter back in his pocket, nodding as he pulls on the gloves. We can’t afford to leave fingerprints.
I’m pretty sure I’ve asked before, but this wait is mind numbing. “What made you join the Guard?”
“College. I wasn’t academic enough for a scholarship, but my parents couldn’t afford to send four kids to school. It seemed like the safest alternative.”
I chuckle. “And then you got deployed.”
“Yep. Thank you, War on Terror.”
“I’m sure you were good at it. I’ve seen your work.”
He nods and for a few minutes, we’re quiet. Then he shifts and clears his throat.
“Look, I know what we’re doing is pretty raw. I’m sorry I couldn’t come up with a more elegant plan, but you’ve got to get some mud on you to slaughter a pig.”
I exhale a laugh. “How long have you been saving that line?”
He grins and his shoulders relax. “A few days.”
Then I shake my head, serious again. “I couldn’t control what took Allison from me. There was nothing I could do.” I pause remembering that sick, helpless feeling as she slowly left me forever. I’d never felt that way in my life, and it almost broke me. “I’ll be damned if I sit back and let something take Melissa. Especially if I have the power to stop it.”
Just then the outside door creaks, and we both jump. Patrick hits the lights, and I instinctively feel my body preparing to fight.
Patrick’s the only one armed. He’d insisted, strike that,
demanded
I leave my gun in my room’s safe to “avoid temptation.” I’d only agreed because he played the Mel card. It’s possible he knows me a little too well.
The door creaks again, and in a fumble of hands and staggering steps, Star backs into the room. Sloan’s plastered to her mouth, and from this angle, we can see his hands moving up her thighs, dragging the hem of her skirt with them, quickly revealing her thong.
Shit
. This again.
“Here we go,” Patrick says in a voice one click above inaudible.
The pair roll against the wall, and the outside door slams shut. The noise breaks their kiss, and Sloan looks up and around, surveying the small, empty conference room. It’s dim-lit by small, emergency lighting and the green glow of the Exit sign.
“How did you know about this place?” His voice is thick.
“Passed it on my way to the restaurant tonight.” Star’s back to breathy-high Marilyn. “I peeked my head in, and when I saw the side door, I thought of you.”
He turns back to her with a greedy smile. “Good call.” Then he covers her mouth again with his.
His hands return to her ass, and he lifts her against the wall. A memory of me lifting Melissa in a similar way knots my stomach, and I turn my back. We can hear it. I don’t have to watch.
Star’s voice. “What if I worked for your company? Then I could see you every day. Or every afternoon?”
Glancing over my shoulder, I see Sloan lower and turn her so that her back is against him. “Not a bad idea.” He moves her legs apart with his knee, and his hand goes between her thighs in front, pulling up swiftly.
“Oh!” She lets out a shocked noise, but her cheek is pressed to the side so we can see her face. She isn’t in pain. In fact, her expression is just the opposite. It’s impossible to know when she’s acting. I’m fucking listening for
Sangria
.
“You feel that?” Sloan leans into her ear. “That’s where I’m going to fuck you. Right in that tight little hole.”
She inhales sharply. “I don’t do that for clients.” Her hips are following his movements, rocking back and forth. “It’s too risky.”
His hand appears to be moving all over her crotch, and she lets out a little moan. “Your tight little ass loves what I’m doing, and if you want your money, you’ll fuck me like I say. How do I know you’re on the pill?”