Only You (20 page)

“I can’t believe I let you do that to me again.”

“It’s why you visited me.  I’ve created a sexual monster.”

She smiled.  “I won’t admit it.  You can’t make me.”

He sighed.  “Oh, Theo, what now?”

“Now…I’ll spend a few hours with you.  I have to be in my room before dawn begins to break, but that won’t be for ages yet.”

He massaged her breasts again, stroking her body’s most sensitive areas.  Almost instinctually, her hips flexed, and his responded in kind. 

“I need you to do something for me,” he said.

“What is it?”

“You know what it is.”

“You want to…to…”

“Yes.”

“What would happen?”

“It’s too hard to explain.  I have to show you.”

“But it’s the
marital
act, and we’re not married.”

“We don’t have to be married.  It’s simply physical conduct.  Anyone can do it.”

“If we’re not wed, it’s a sin.”

“The preachers claim it is, but I’ve previously clarified my opinion about them.”

“I’d never be able to wed afterward.”

“You still could.  You merely have to find a pragmatic fellow who isn’t concerned about your past.”

“You make it sound easy.”

“You’re marvelous, Theo.  Some fortunate man will snatch you up.  Don’t worry about it.”

“Why can’t it be you?” she blurted out.  “Promise yourself to me, and I’ll agree.”

“Why is it so important to you?”

“I love you.”

On hearing her declaration, one she’d tossed out prior, he stared at her so tenderly that she expected he would offer the same sentiment, but he didn’t.  Instead, he said, “
Love
plays no part in what I need from you.  As I mentioned, it’s just physical conduct.”

“I want it to be more than that—for both of us.”

“If you give this to me, Theo, it will forever remain the greatest gift I ever receive.  That’s how much it will mean.”

The stirring comment moved her, and she nearly relented, but she’d had dozens of lectures over the years, from housekeepers, governesses, friends and—most recently—from Aunt Edna about men and their motives.  A female had to have a ring on her finger before going too far.

“I can’t, Soloman,” she said, hating to refuse him.

“Then we’ll just chat for a bit—with no harm done.  But I’ll always regret your decision.  I think you will too.”

“Yes, I probably will.”

She pulled him to her and initiated her own set of kisses, and he immediately joined in.  After awhile, he sat on his haunches and yanked off his shirt, and when he lay down again, his chest was bare, their skin pressed together.  The feel of her nipples rubbing him was more pleasure than she could abide. 

“Marry me, Soloman,” she begged.  “I swear you’ll be happy.  Tell me you’ll have me, then make me your own.”

“Why can’t you forget about it, Theo?  Why must we argue about it?”

“It’s what I want, Soloman.  I’ve never wanted much in my life, but I want this.”

He seemed tormented over her request, and for a lengthy interval, he didn’t reply.  Ultimately, he nodded.  “All right, Theo.  I’ll marry you, but if it ends up not being the grand bargain you suppose, I won’t listen to you complain.”

“I won’t ever complain.”

“If you realize later on I’m not the husband of your dreams, and you wish you hadn’t proceeded, you can’t nag about it.”

“Oh, you silly man.  When I love you, how could I ever be sorry?”

“You might be surprised.”

That was the full extent of conversation he could manage.  He jumped into the fray, arousing her, tantalizing her.  Without her really noticing, he was fussing with his trousers, opening the front, tugging them past his private parts.

She would have liked to glance down, to see what he looked like there, but he kept her so busy, there was no opportunity for investigation.  He gripped her thighs and widened them, his torso dropping in between as his fingers glided into her sheath.  He stroked them in and out, in and out.

As her passion rose, he moved his hand and something else was there, something bigger, something harder.  He wedged in the tip, and she froze, then tried to squirm away, her virginal instincts shooting to the fore.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m going to join my body to yours.”

“I don’t understand what that means.”

“I’ll show you, remember?”

“Yes, but can you explain what’s about to happen?”

He didn’t elucidate, but smiled down at her, his expression incredibly affectionate, but agonized too, as if he couldn’t bear to delay another second.

“It will be over in a moment, Theo.  Don’t be afraid.”

“I’m not afraid.  I never could be when I’m with you.”

“Just relax.  Put your arms around my neck.”

“Like this?”

“Yes, like that.  Now hold on tight.”

He began kissing her again, pushing the object into her, continuing on until, for a terrifying instant, she wondered if he might simply break her in half.  Then suddenly, he burst inside.  There was a tear, a sting of pain, and she was impaled.

“That’s the worst of it,” he said.

“Are we finished?”

“No.  There’s a bit more.”

She was relieved to hear it.  She’d received varying reports about the marital act:  that it was awful, that it was disgusting, that it was a chore, that it was marvelous, and that it was the greatest experience ever.  She didn’t know which version was closest to the truth, and in case it was horrid, she hoped it would be over quickly. 

Mostly though, she hoped it would be a tad romantic.  If it wasn’t, she’d be dreadfully disappointed.

He started to flex with his hips, while toying with her, driving her up the spiral of pleasure.  Gradually, she got the hang of it, matching him thrust for thrust so it felt quite grand.

As her ardor crested, as another wave of bliss swept over her, he shoved in very far.  He groaned as if he was injured, then he collapsed onto her.  She lay very still, cataloguing every detail so she’d never forget.

Eventually, he drew away and rolled onto his side.  He rolled her too so they were facing each other, nose to nose, grinning like naughty schoolchildren.

“Did you survive it?” he asked.

“All in one piece.”  She sighed with contentment.  “I’m not a virgin anymore, am I?”

“No.”

To her dismay, tears flooded her eyes, and he looked aghast.

“Are you sad?” he inquired.  “You can’t be sad.  This is the best night ever.”

“I’m not sad.  I’m…overwhelmed and very, very happy.”

“So am I.”

“Are you sure?  You’re not just saying that?”

“I’m so happy, Theo.  I’m practically dying with it.”

“Everything will be all right, won’t it?”

“Everything will be perfect.”

He shifted onto his back and pulled her across his chest, and she snuggled there, listening to his heart beating.

“What now?” she asked.

“We rest, then we do it again—if you’re not too sore.”

“I’m not sore,” she lied. 

She was tender in her female areas, but she’d never admit it.  Whatever he wanted, she would never refuse him, would never deny him.  If he desired her again so soon, she would gladly agree.

“When will we marry?” she asked.

“We’ll have to figure that out.  I can’t imagine going to Edna and requesting permission.”

“Gad, I can’t imagine it either.  It would be appalling.”

“You can’t return to England with her.”

“No, I won’t.”

“You’ll have to stay here with me.  You’ll have to tell her and mean it.  Are you ready for the tempest you’re about to stir?”

“I’m ready.”

“I suppose we could elope.  It would frustrate any barriers she might erect to keep us apart.”

“We could elope,” she cautiously concurred, not sure if she was serious.

With his consenting to wed her, events were proceeding at a very fast pace, and she had no idea what was best.

“We can talk about it tomorrow,” he said as if sensing her concern. 

“We’ll have to devise a way to communicate so Edna doesn’t suspect.”

“I’m a master of deception.  I’ll concoct a brilliant method to thwart her.”

“I’m certain you will.  But tomorrow, yes?  I’ll hear from you?”

“Definitely.  If I could spirit you away then, would you be prepared?  We might not get many chances to sneak off.”

“Yes, I could leave on the spur of the moment.”

She relaxed against him, liking the intimacy that had developed, and she was surprised her acquaintances had never waxed on about it.  She hadn’t realized that one person could feel so close to another.

He drifted off, and she watched him, committing it all to memory.  She dawdled for an eternity, thinking he’d awaken, but he didn’t.

She was anxious to rouse him, to confer about the future, but she didn’t know what was allowed between them and what wasn’t.  There were many hurdles to overcome, Edna being the biggest. 

Theo would be defying her father too, which was a dicey proposition.  Yet after the debacle he’d engineered with Hedley Harrington, she’d never let him butt his nose into any matrimonial decision.

Most likely, she and Soloman would have to elope, but she was wise enough to grasp that she shouldn’t try to unravel the solution until she was less agitated.  These were plans that needed a clear head.

Outside, a bird chirped, warning of the dawn that would soon arrive, so her interval with him was over.

She slid away and quickly dressed.  The moon was shining in, casting his skin in silvery shades, his hair very black on the pillow.  She was swamped by such a wave of affection that she couldn’t bear it.

“I love you,” she murmured.  “I will always love you.”

She whipped away and tiptoed out, grabbing her veil as she went.  She wrapped it over her face, then exited and hurried to her porters out in the drive.  In a matter of seconds, it seemed as if she’d never been there at all.

Fenton slipped through the
door into his mother’s bedroom, when suddenly she said, “Fenton!  Is that you?”

At being caught, he winced.  He’d been so careful, so quiet.  What had wakened her?

He was to have been slumbering on the trundle bed next to her, but he often couldn’t sleep, and the hotel was such an interesting place.  When Edna began snoring, he would creep out and roam the large property.  He’d seen the most curious sights.

Adults liked to bloviate about morality and piety, about sin and decent behavior, but he’d witnessed such shocking conduct that he couldn’t wait to start school again so he could boast to his classmates about the outrageous people he’d spied on in Cairo.

His sister, Susan, was the worst.  She was always dashing off with that sly Mr. Price.  Fenton’s only regret was that he’d never gotten to actually observe what she and Mr. Price did when they were together.  Fenton suspected it was deliciously vulgar.

His mother sat up, her blankets pressed to her chest, her mobcap flopping down.  She shoved it away and glared at him.

“Where have you been, young man?  Explain yourself.”

“There was a noise in the hall,” he fibbed.

“So you left in the middle of the night?  Honestly, Fenton, it’s dangerous to be out among the natives in the darker hours.  The locals have unnatural
urges.
”  She shuddered dramatically.  “Any mishap could have befallen you.”

“I had no idea if I should follow her or what.”

Edna scowled.  “Follow her?  Who?  You’re talking in riddles, Fenton.”

“It’s…Theo, Mother.”

He hated to tattle on Theo.  Despite what everyone believed, he really liked her, much more than he liked his sister or mother.  But desperate times called for desperate measures.  With Edna glowering, it was too late to change course and pretend he hadn’t mentioned his cousin.

 “I peeked out,” he claimed, “to see what was happening, to be sure you were safe.”

She beamed with pride, eager to imagine he’d been gallantly protecting her.

“Thank you, Fenton.  You’re very brave, but what’s this about Theo?”

“She was sneaking out.  That’s the noise I heard.”

Edna cocked her head and frowned.  “What do you mean by
sneaking
?”

“She’d dressed herself in native clothes, and she had her hair and face covered with a veil.  She went down the servants’ stairs.”

“She didn’t, Fenton.  Don’t tell lies.”

“It’s true, Mother.  I followed her, and she departed in a rented chair.”

“She what?”

“Porters carried her away.”

“Porters, you say?”

“Yes, and I’ve been hiding in the hedges and watching for her to return.”  He blinked and blinked to bring on a flood of tears.  “But it was scary out there alone, so I came back, but she’s still gone.  I’m afraid she’s met with some harm.”

“She left the hotel?” Edna murmured, appearing bewildered.

“Yes.”

“You’re positive it was her, Fenton?  This is very serious.  You’re not jesting?  You’re not playing a trick?”

“I swear, Mother.  If you don’t believe me, look in her room.  She’s not there.”

Edna studied him, then nodded.  “I will look, and if you’ve fabricated a ridiculous story, Fenton, there will have to be consequences.”