Authors: Jani Kay
Chapter Fifty
This morning I
felt really restless, I hadn’t slept well, and Nick kept haunting my dreams. His presence at the chapel yesterday felt so real, as if I could reach out and touch his lovely face. If I was honest, I would have to admit I missed him. He brought something to my life that left an empty space in my heart when he wasn’t there.
It wasn’t that I didn’t love Gabriel – I honestly did love him. It drove me mad that I could love two men this much – each in a unique way,
because of who they were and how they made me feel when I was with them.
Gabriel
challenged me. He brought out my submissive side because he was so dominant in his ways. He would always protect me and take care of me, providing for all my needs.
Nick
made me feel cherished and valued. I knew that he saw more of the real me than anyone else ever did, yet he loved me in spite of it.
Just after we woke up
, Gabe had gone downstairs to make coffee. I was staring out of the large window of our bedroom, admiring the rolling hills in the distance and lost deep in thought, when Sarah knocked on my door. Surprised to see her, I invited her in, giving her a warm and welcoming hug.
“
Sorry to bother you so early. I have something for you…” she said hesitantly as she handed me a sealed envelope. I drew back and saw a strange look on her face, a look I could not place.
T
he envelope was blank, there wasn’t any indication who it was from or what was in it. I looked at Sarah questioningly, feeling my breath quicken. “What is it, Sarah?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
Her eyes were wide and she bit her lip before she answered
. “It's from Uncle Nick. He asked me to give you this.”
“Nick?” I fe
lt all the blood drain from my face, suddenly unsteady on my feet.
“I’ll leave you to read it now,” Sarah said as she turned on her heels to leave the room. She closed the door behind her without me asking her to.
My fingers trembled as I tore the envelope open. My breath came hard and fast in gasps, my throat tight.
Nick had written me a note.
I extracted the crisp white paper from the envelope. I had to sit on the bed, my knees were weak, as if someone had just sucker-punched me.
Breathe, Natalie, breathe.
I closed my eyes for a moment and waited for my breath to even out before I unfolded the note, my heart beating wildly against my chest.
My dearest Natalie,
It was not a ghost you saw through the window yesterday. I had to come here to witness the renewal of your vows for myself. I planned on walking in and stopping it, but I just couldn’t do that to you. You looked like an angel.
But i
n the end, I could not watch you promise yourself to a man who does not deserve your love. He had you once but then he let you go.
I need to see you. I cannot bear to be this close to you and not speak to you.
I beg you, please come to my villa in Sienna today so we can talk. You have nothing to be afraid of; I will be a perfect gentleman. After all, you made your choice and it was not me.
I will be waiting for you. Please don’t disappoint me.
With all my love,
Nick.
My heart was beating so hard in my chest I feared a few ribs would break in the process.
So I’m not going crazy
. It wasn’t an illusion. It really was Nick – in flesh and blood.
T
he address at the bottom of the letter seemed faintly familiar. Then I remembered that we had driven past that street a few days ago when we were sightseeing in Sienna.
I had to go. I had to see Nick.
How would I explain a trip to Sienna? Without a doubt I was drawn to him, he was like a strong magnet pulling me toward him – I couldn’t resist.
This is madness
. I sat on the bed, biting into my lip, rubbing at my chest to ease the pain that had settled there. It was against my better judgement, I didn’t want to do this to Gabriel, yet I knew it was beyond my control. My heart wanted what it wanted – to see Nick one more time. Just the thought of him so close made me lightheaded. I would do anything to have a few moments with him.
A soft knock on my door startled me. It was Olivia and Sarah. Sarah avoided my eyes; she clearly knew what was in the note.
Olivia waved car keys in front of me. “We are going shopping in Sienna. We just wanted to know if you’re keen to come with us? The guys are all off to play a few rounds of golf this morning. So it's a girls-only outing. Josh said its fine for us to take his rental car, the guys will use Dad’s car.” She lifted an eyebrow, waiting for my answer.
Sarah nodded and I understood that she orchestrated this shopping trip to give me the chance to see Nick. The fact that she did it behind Olivia’s back meant that my daughter was not in on the secret.
With a big sigh of relief I glanced at Olivia; I didn’t want her to know what was going on. She was so happy that her parents were back together, how could I tell her?
If only things weren’t so goddamn complicated!
“Sure, I’d love to come. Give me twenty minutes to get ready, OK?” I answered as I went to the bathroom to shower.
D
oubt wracked my insides.
What the hell am I doing?
If Gabe found out, he would go ballistic. But all I could think of was seeing Nick. I was throwing caution to the wind just to be in his presence for a short while. My cheeks were burning, flushed by the excitement I felt in the pit of my stomach.
D
ressed casually in jeans and a T-shirt, wearing flat comfortable shoes, I was ready for shopping if I changed my mind on the way to Sienna.
I kissed Gabriel on the cheek as I said goodbye, not looking him in the eye. I just couldn’t. He joked about
the three of us shopping up a storm together. My laugh sounded hollow and false. I felt like a criminal. Maybe I would just go shopping with the two girls after all.
There was no harm in going to Sienna. Not until I actually went to Nick’s villa.
Letting the girls drive in front, I stared
blankly at the scenery flying by from the back seat as we inched closer and closer to Sienna. For the entire journey, I reasoned with myself – convincing myself that it was OK to do this. I hadn’t spoken a word since we left and certainly wasn’t paying any attention to the conversation in the front of the car.
“Natalie, why don’t you take the car for a while? Olivia and I want to go to a few small boutiques and we know it's not your thing
,” Sarah said, looking at me in the review mirror.
I nodded my head. “Y…Yes…” I stammered, grateful for her plan, yet feeling my insides being ripped apart.
Sarah stopped the car a few miles further in the middle of the shopping district. She quickly jumped out of the driver’s seat and let me take over. I gave Olivia a weak smile as I drove off, my hands sweaty and clammy, clinging to the steering wheel as if my life depended on it.
Oh dear
God, what am I doing?
The refrain kept repeating in my head, over and over. I knew how dangerous this was – that when I saw Nick, I may not be able to control my actions. But mostly I was afraid that I may not
want
to control myself. That was the scariest thought of all.
Ten
minutes later, I stopped the car in front of Nick’s villa. Following the GPS made it really easy to find the place. I turned off the motor and sat in the car for a further ten minutes, warring with myself, telling myself I was stupid to be here, I had no business talking to Nick. The minutes ticked past and I saw my life pass by me in a flash. Everything that had happened to me up to this point compressed into a few flash images in my head.
Finally I shook my head. The sensible Natalie won – again. I started the car and put the gear into reverse.
Better get out of here fast
…
A
n urgent rap on the window startled me. My head snapped up, my eyes locking with sad green ones.
Oh God!
Nick was by my window, his mouth drawn into a thin line, his jaw clenched.
“Natalie
. Stop!” he roared, yanking at my door. My foot slipped off the pedal and the car stalled. I was shaking from head to toe.
Lord, have mercy on my soul.
I just sat there – stunned. Nick
pulled the door open and dragged me from the car, pressing my body against his in a bear-like grip as we both stood there trembling.
“
You came,” he grunted, his voice hoarse and shaky. “Why were you leaving? I don’t understand.” I could hear the pain in his voice. I closed my eyes. I wanted to cling to Nick as if my life depended on it, but at the same time I wanted to run as far away as I could. The intensity of his embrace reminded me of everything between us. How could I have forgotten?
“I
’m scared, Nick,” I whispered.
“I know, little one. But I will never hurt you. Come inside so we can talk.” He pulled my hand and I followed him into the villa.
We stood awkwardly in the entrance. I itched to run my fingers along his brow and over his cheek. Instead I clasped my hands together in front of me, holding them back with force. I struggled to hide how he affected me. My knees were trembling slightly, so I leaned against the wall to steady myself, pressing my palms into the cool stone.
Nick came to stand in front of me, his face mere inches away from mine.
“I missed you so,” he breathed, his gaze intense, a small muscle in his jaw twitching. He placed both hands on the wall beside my face and leaned forward, only our foreheads touching, our breathing ragged, our eyes closed. We stood like that for what felt like an eternity.
Paralyzed, I just stood there.
Absorbing the intense heat radiating from his body. Savoring his singular scent.
My heart nearly jumped out of my chest when his lips brushed over mine.
Always tactile, his simple touch spoke louder than a thousand words ever could. I felt his vibration, what every cell in his body screamed out to me.
T
he electric charge between us was beyond intense. Nick leaned closer. Our bodies were perfectly aligned now, molded as if we were one. Every inch of my softness against his hardness. Captivated.
Chapter Fifty-one
Nick
I couldn’t believe my luck. Natalie was here. Standing right in front of me. For what I knew would be a fleeting moment.
If only I hadn’t promised to behave like a gentleman.
I wanted to ravish her, strip her naked, feel her skin against mine, map her body with my mouth then finally plunge deep into her warmness.
If anything, I wanted her more now than ever.
I physically ached for her. All these months apart had done nothing to lessen my desire or love for her. I raged a war within myself. The devil in me wanted to make love to her, right here, against the wall.
Why the hell did I make such a stupid promise?
A loud bang hammered against the door.
“Natalie, open the fucking door before I break it down!” Gabriel’s raging voice boomed through the door.
Adrenaline pumped through my veins. My head jerked up in an instant. Natalie’s eyes flew open, and she stared at me in horror, her hand covering her mouth, her skin pale as alabaster.
I reached the heavy wooden door in three strides and plucked it open with force.
Goddammit!
Who did this raging lunatic think he was, screaming demands at my door? Finally I would come face to face with the fucker who stood so solidly between the woman I loved and me. My fists balled at my sides, fury raging through my bloodstream.
Gabriel stormed into the villa, a murderous look on his face. With one sweep he took in the scene and stood in front of Natalie,
towering over her.
He turned and stared me down.
“So you are the son of a bitch screwing my wife!” he spat out, his eyes bulging out of his head, his knuckles white as he opened and closed his fists.
“Gab
e! It isn’t what you think,” Natalie cried out from behind his large frame. “I can explain,” she pleaded.
“What's to explain?
You being here explains everything
. You break my fucking heart, Nat. We exchanged our vows yesterday… and today…here you are. Who knows what would have happened if I hadn’t come?” His voice broke, his agony written all over his flushed face.
“How…how did you find me?” Natalie rasped, her eyes wide, her hands trembling.
“I thought it strange – you acted so covertly when you said goodbye, you avoided looking at me. It’s so unlike you. Then Josh let it slip that Nick was in Sienna.
Coincidence?
” Gabe sneered. “I knew something was up. I nearly strangled young Josh till he told me where Nick –
his fucking uncle
– was staying. I came as soon as I could…”
My
gut clenched as my fingers curled and uncurled at my sides. I gnashed my teeth in an attempt to stay calm.
“And you…I'm going to kill you!” he roared in my face, veins nearly popping on his neck and forehead.
“Natalie, get into the car!” His tone clipped, he swung around and grabbed her roughly by the arm, pushing her toward the door.
Savage.
My jaw ached; I had bitten down on it so hard all this time. How dare he grab her and shove her as if she was a rag doll? Every cell in my body cried out to protect her.
A
ll my pent up anger unleashed. Fury unfurled in my gut as my words sliced through the air. “Don’t touch her!” I challenged as I stared into his cold and calculating eyes. He was a head taller than I was, and his shoulders broader than mine, but I wasn’t afraid of him.
“You aren’t going to stop me, motherfucker,” he sn
arled, his nostrils flaring, rage in his eyes, his chest expanded.
“Like hell I won't
,” I warned, my blood boiling beneath my skin. “Let her go!” I ordered through gritted teeth, adrenaline rushing through my veins. I was in fight mode, ready to tear this man apart if he hurt as much as a hair on Natalie's head.
But before I could do anything, Natalie had freed herself from Gabriel’s grip and threw herself between us. “Gabriel. Nick. For
God’s sake, stop!” she cried, her anguish clear in her strangled voice.
We both took a step back,
astonished by her fearless attitude. Stunned, my hands fell to my sides, my mouth pursed into a thin line, perspiration making my hands clammy as I tried to control myself.
“Natalie, stay out of this. Get in the car.
Now.
I will deal with this prick once and for all.” Gabriel’s voice boomed, his biceps bulged under his shirt, a vein in his thick neck throbbing. I knew he was dying to lay his fists into me, to kill me if he could. I could see murder in his eyes.
She laid her hand on his arm, raising her chin and looking him squarely in the eye, unafraid of his temper.
“Gabriel, don’t do this.
I have chosen you
. There is nothing between Nick and me. I was on the verge of telling him that… I love you – only you. Nick and I have been over a long time. I value our vows and intend to keep them.”
The fucker
looked at her with so much adoration in his eyes that I felt a dagger go straight to my heart. Right here, right now, she chose him over me.
Again
.
She turned to me, her eyes all misted up so I couldn’t see into them. “Goodbye
, Nick. This is my final goodbye. We were never meant to be. I hope you find love and happiness soon.” She laid her hand on my cheek, her eyes closed.
Gabriel growled
– a feral animalistic sound – when she touched me and she instantly withdrew her hand.
Savage.
Before I could respond, she pivoted on her heels and walked from the villa, steering Gabriel toward the car. He splayed his hand possessively on her back as he helped her into the car.
I watched, my eyes wide, my mouth dry, as she let Gabriel drive her out of my life.
My stomach lurched. She didn’t look in my direction once.
A
s if I am invisible.