Oppressed (4 page)

To my horror, instead of kissing me he
roughly grabbed a fist full of my hair and jerked my head
back.

“
Ouch! What the hell! That
hurts.” My eyes snapped open. I dug my nails into his hands in an
attempt to loosen his grip. This definitely wasn’t Lucus-type
behavior. Our eyes met and I was taken aback by the sheer hatred,
bitterness, and anger I saw in his gaze.

A hint of a smile played on his
lips and those cold, angry eyes bore into me. “Well, I haven’t
missed you,
ma cherie
.”

“
Lucus, you’re hurting me,” I
desperately pleaded with him. What was his problem? The face I had
believed to be so beautiful was transforming into something
monstrous and unrecognizable right before my eyes. The more I
struggled, the tighter his grip became. I was tempted to kick him
in the groin but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Those moves were
reserved for Ivan. My pleas for him to stop fell on deaf
ears.

“
Do you know why I haven’t
missed you?”

“
No.” My lips quivered and
my tears of happiness quickly transformed into those of confusion
and silent rage.

“
Because you fooled me
into believing that you were actually worthy of my love. But now, I
see the truth.”

“
The truth?” I had no idea
what he was referring to.

In that haunting voice of his that
somehow managed to magically blend in with the humming of the swamp
animals, Lucus started to sing:

You've got me looking
through my mind

Like a prisoner with the
cool iron bars

You've got me looking
through my mind

Like a prisoner with the
cool iron bars

You got me dreaming funny
things every time I take a nod

Tell me, kind lover; tell
me what can it be

Tell me, kind lover, tell
me what can it be

You keep on acting funny
and it sure is worrying me

Lord, I begin to wonder if
it's only me myself

Lord, I begin to wonder if
it's only me myself

Ain't talking in my sleep,
how can it be somebody else?

“
I don’t know what that means,”
I said, after he had stopped. “But I do know that you’re hurting me
and that’s not cool. So I’m going to ask you for the last time, let
go of me. ”

“
Hurt?” he laughed as if I had
no right to use that word. He let go of my hair and pushed me up
against the oak. His body burned into mine and I felt his rage and
frustration pour into my very soul. For a moment he stared
listlessly at the stars as if he were trying to search for the
right words to express all that he was feeling. His pose was that
of a waxen mannequin and the romantic glow of the moonlight did
nothing to soften his tense expression. There was a heartbreaking
sadness about him, and it pained me just to look at him. What had I
done to cause him so much grief?

“
Lucus.” I reached out and
stroked his cheek with the back of my hand and brushed away the
lock of hair that had fallen over his eye.

He slapped my hand away and clasped my
tear-stained cheeks between his hands. His full lips pressed
against mine and his tongue fought its way into my mouth. I
willingly allowed the fierce, heated kiss to consume my entire
being, even though I knew it was wrong given the really odd
circumstances. My hands fell onto his chest, my toes curled as they
dug into the earth below, and the entire world as I knew it
vanished. Our dance was rough, savage, and completely reckless. I
wanted the moment to last for eternity. Needless to say, I was
sorely disappointed when he abruptly pulled away.

His eyes peered into mine. “Why can’t
I stop loving you?”

Confusion gripped me as I tried to
make sense of his question. “Stop loving me? Why would you want to
stop loving me?”

“
Why?” He laughed deeply and
took several steps back. “Why?” he repeated, as if the answer was
painfully obvious. He crossed his arms and started to pace from
tomb to tomb. “Why?” he repeated the word over and over again like
a madman. When he finally stopped pacing, he leaned against a tomb
and focused his attention on me. His gaze was cool and detached.
“You’re a disease.”

My heart sank and horrible sense of dread
washed over me. He thought I was a disease? Neurotic, perhaps.
Paranoid, clearly. Insane at times, but a disease? This wasn’t
right. There was something wrong. What had happened to him? I
walked towards him slowly, calmly; approaching him with the same
kind of caution one would approach a man threatening to jump off
the ledge of a skyscraper. “Lucus, what’s wrong? This isn’t you.
What happened on the other side? Please tell me, I can
help.”

“
You happened,” he
whispered.

“
But you said…” I stopped
in my tracks.

“
You see, at first I didn’t
understand how anyone was capable of hurting you. I thought Tony
was a fool for having caused you pain and having let you get away
so easily, but now I understand that he was only trying to protect
himself. Your love is poison, bitter and vile. It’s a parasitic
infection and now it needs to be removed.”

My body trembled.
“Removed?”

“
Yes,” he said, as he took off
his t-shirt. Under normal circumstances, the sight of Lucus
shirtless would have made me melt and prompted me to stare at my
toes while I tried to stop drooling like a love-struck school girl,
but at that moment it filled me with fear and worry. He picked an
empty rum bottle up from the ground and smashed it against a
tomb.

“
Lucus, what are you
doing?”

He ignored me and brought the crude
piece of broken glass to his chest and with a swift and graceful
move slashed himself. A stream of angry blood spilled out of the
wound and trickled down his chest and onto his stomach. Under the
glow of the moon it appeared thick, ghastly and
tar-like.

“
What the hell!” I leapt towards
him and tried to snatch the glass out of his hand. He pushed me
away with such force that I fell and hit my head against a nearby
tomb. “Ouch! You ass!” I screamed as I tried to sit up. I had never
thought that out of all people Lucus would have been capable of
acting like such a jerk. Still, I loved him with every fiber of my
being, and I watched in complete horror as he proceeded to slash
himself repeatedly.

When his eyes rested on me they were
those of a man who had lost all reason. His face was a mask of pure
anger and venomous resentment. “When I was a child, physicians were
convinced that the best way to rid a body of disease was to drain
it of blood. The infection would somehow disappear with the lost
blood and the body would be renewed and fresh. I believe they were
correct in their reasoning. You’re an infection that inhabits every
cell within my body and I see no other way of freeing myself from
you,” he said, as he slashed himself again.

I got up and pleaded with him again.
“Lucus, please. Whatever I did, I’m sorry. Hurting yourself won’t
make it any better.”

He tossed his head back and scoffed as
if my words were ludicrous. “I’m not hurting myself. I’m freeing
myself from your evil grip.”

“
Evil? If I’m evil, why the hell
did you beg me to stay here and relentlessly pursue me? If I’m so
evil why the hell did you fall in love with me?” Anger was slowly
replacing the worry and compassion I had felt for him just moments
earlier.

“
Because your brand of evil is
so very seductive,” he said. “Women like you seduce, use, and abuse
men like me before tossing us away.”

Women like me? Seduce, use, and abuse?
Given the fact that my seduction skills were next to nothing, it
became abundantly clear that he was insane and reasoning with him
was pointless. Had a trick been placed on him? I prayed that Ivan
wasn’t behind this mess. I wasn’t up to fighting another battle
with him. Where was he, anyway? “Bade,” I whispered. “Please help
me. Please.”

Bade’s response came in the form of a
ghostly discourse that sang through the leaves.

Silly
Arelia, you’ve been warned

You’ve been warned to
listen for the music

Silly, silly, run, run, run
away from this monster

He’s a monster

The monster of your
illusions and fears…

I watched in disgust as Lucus slashed
himself over and over again as if he were a martyr suffering for
some grand cause.

“
Run? I can’t run! Look at
Lucus. How can I leave him all alone? I have to go back to the
house and get help. I’ll get Aunt Mae; she’ll know what to
do.”

The wind grew stronger and it chilled
my bones to their very core.

“
He has the help you seek, but
only if you’re ready. Only he can introduce you to her. Don’t give
into this delusion. This world is a manifestation of your fears.
You’re afraid that once you find out the truth this is what your
life will become, but have faith that it doesn’t have to be this
way. Don’t be afraid of the truth. The truth may be ugly and
painful. It may make you uncomfortable and shatter your illusions
about yourself and the world around you. It may force you to
re-evaluate your relationships with everyone and everything, but
you cannot hide from it. The truth is the truth. Run towards the
music, silly one! Help is waiting where the music is! The truth is
waiting and it shall set you free.”

“
Really! That’s all you’ve
got? The truth shall set me free? Bade, that’s a
cliché!”

“
Run towards the music!”
Bade insisted. “Run away from the swamp and the graves.”

How could I simply leave Lucus all alone?
In one last desperate attempt I tried to snatch the glass from his
hand. My attempt was futile, considering he had a clear height
advantage over me.

“
Don’t you dare try to
stop me,” he said.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at his
bloody chest. The sensation of his warm blood as it dripped onto my
feet was revolting. I closed my eyes and pressed my body against
his, hoping that my embrace would somehow magically close up all of
his wounds and rid him of his grief. “I love you, Lucus. I’m going
to make things right, just you wait. Everything is going to be
alright.” I tried to sound as convincing as possible even though a
million fearful thoughts were buzzing through my head.

I felt a glimpse of the old
Lucus fighting his way back to me. He enveloped me in his arms and
softly ran his fingers through my tangled hair. I held my breath
and prayed to all the saints in New Orleans that he was no longer
crazy. There was an agonizing moment of silence before he spoke.
His voice was pained and mournful. “I can’t stop loving you despite
all that you’ve done to me. Your mere presence has the power to
send me to the bottomless pit of hell and straight up to the
infinite glory of heaven. You’re my everything, and I will love you
forever and always even though you don’t feel the same about
me.
Je
t’aime. Je t’adore,
Arelia.”

I fought back tears. He was so dramatic.
So tortured. So insanely perfect and unaware of the profound impact
he had on every inch of my body and soul. Heaven forfend! What had
I turned into? “You’re wrong. I do love you and I’m going to prove
it to you, but right now I have to leave you. I promise I’ll be
back. I promise.” I kissed him deeply, passionately, and with all
the strength I could muster, before he pushed me away and continued
his self-inflicted torture.

I turned my back on him. Bittersweet.
Always bittersweet. Why couldn’t it ever just be sweet?

I let out a low sigh, focused on the big
picture, and reminded myself that everything would be alright. It
had to be, but first, I needed to find out what the hell was going
on. What had I done? Was I really a disease? Or was this all Ivan’s
doing? Marie, who am I supposed to meet?

Chapter Five

Papa Legba

Twigs snapped under my bare
feet, branches tugged at my clothes with their bony hands, and the
hoots of owls and broken cries of birds accompanied me as I fought
my way through the all-too-familiar maze of oaks.
Listen for the
music,
I
reminded myself.
Listen for the music.
Where was this imaginary music? I stopped to catch
my breath and silently cursed the swarms of mosquitos that were
feasting on my sticky skin. Around me sweet purple and white
wildflowers bloomed in the night air, and nature in all its
glorious shapes and forms was alive and vibrant, but I felt as if I
was trapped in a never-ending nightmare. Where was I? What side was
this? If this wasn’t reality where was reality?

Despite the feeling of hopelessness that
was creeping into my bones, I did something that surprised even me.
I didn’t panic. I stayed perfectly calm, composed, and simply
listened. It started out so faint that I was certain my ears were
playing tricks on me. Then it became louder and louder: the sound
of a lone guitar playing in the dead of night, accompanied by a low
gravelly voice singing the blues: