I’
m barely breathing when I enter the apartment, but I only see Ben sitting on the couch.
“Hey, Benstein.” I haven’t seen him in about six months, when he was here to celebrate his seventeenth birthday.
He stands to greet me and seems taller. A Pearl Jam T-shirt hugs his fit physique, shaped by years of karate. Short, sandy blond hair frames his face. How do guys do that? Perfect hair and long eyelashes with zero effort? He even has gorgeous olive skin. I had a crush on him in eighth grade for about ten minutes, but it felt icky to crush on a guy who was like a brother.
“Hey, Devi-licious.” He opens his arms for a hug, but stops short when he realizes what a wet mess I am. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Got caught in the rain.” Until tonight, I didn’t think Ben knew many details about what I do.
“Aw, poor Devi.” Ben reaches a palm in the air, opting for a high-five, which I have to jump to meet because I’m five-foot-four. “Why don’t you make sure she has a more dependable car?” he asks Nodin with a mischievous smirk.
Nodin rolls his eyes.
The two of them are always competing for Brother of the Year. Most of the time it’s playful banter, but a few times Ben has come to my rescue in ways Nodin couldn’t. Like the time Nodin told him about a guy who’d spread a rumor through our high school that I was screwing my way through the male student population. Ben came in town that weekend and the guy didn’t return to school until the following Thursday, looking like he’d gone a few rounds with Tyson. Nodin had no part in it. He’s not the physical type.
Ben denied it, but I’m not stupid. Although I appreciated him wanting to stick up for me, I felt bad. The guy whose ass he kicked wasn’t exactly lying.
Well, screwing my way through is a bit of an exaggeration. I did mess around with a few―many―and yes, I slept with two―okay, three―guys. I don’t have the luxury of forming lasting relationships. Relationships mean intimacy, and intimacy means no secrets.
The biggest part of me is a secret, how can I ever be completely present in any kind of relationship if I can’t be honest? Or during the calling, when I can’t explain where I’m running off to in such a hurry, or why. The calling may rule my life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t crave the fireworks of a first kiss, the adrenaline rush of skin against skin, or the empowerment of feeling wanted—all thrilling enough to actually
feel
despite the eclipse of my ability.
“Where’s Baron?” Nodin asks.
“He’s out on the balcony on the phone,” Ben says.
“Ah,” Nodin says. “Devi, I put some clothes in my room for you. They’re on the bed.”
“Okay.” I’m grateful I can change before meeting Baron.
A pair of sweatpants and a UTPB sweatshirt is on the bed. I peel off my wet jeans and light green Boho top—very disappointing since I picked this outfit special for this occasion—and change into the dry clothes. I hang my wet stuff in his bathroom, and take a look at myself in the mirror.
“Crap.”
I do my best to towel dry and comb out my long hair. I can’t blow dry it; Nodin doesn’t own a hairdryer. I scrape smudged mascara from under my eyes in an attempt to look halfway decent. I survey the finished look: baggy oversized sweats, no makeup, and stringy, wet hair. My feet are cold so I slip back on my Mary Jane flats. Nodin makes fun of me for always wearing this same pair of shoes, but I love them. They’re cute and look good with everything, with the added benefit of being damn good tree-climbers.
I walk out of Nodin’s room and am instantly cognizant of a strange hum in the air. The pressure in the room pushes in on my ear drums like when I dive too deep in the pool. My eyes lock on those of the dark-haired stranger. The energy flows around us, out of control, like an electric current loose in the apartment. From somewhere a million miles away, I hear my brother introduce us.
“Devi, this is Baron. Baron, this is my sister.”
“Nice to finally meet you,” Baron says, reaching out to shake my hand. When our skin connects, the erratic energy begins coursing through us in a steady thrum. I can’t let go.
Thoughts. I can hear what Ben, Nodin and Baron are thinking.
I’m aware of Nodin’s panic and confusion. He’s overwhelmed by the intensity of the energy. Ben’s mind is a flurry of thoughts and images. I see myself through his eyes and he’s shocked I’m sensing everyone psychically.
And I hear Baron, who’s thinking a singular, clear thought:
It’s her.
Fear and anxiety grip me, although I can no longer discern who it belongs to.
“Separate them!” Ben yells, and slams his arm down on top of our hands, forcing us apart.
The easy thrum becomes spastic again. I wince as it reverberates through me and whips around the room. Something instinctual makes me back up to the fireplace. Baron follows suit, backing to the couch on the other side of the room.
At this distance the energy wanes. It’s less painful, but the air pressure and hum are still present. I should be alarmed. Terrified. But I’m not. I’m exhilarated.
Nodin and Ben meet in a frenzy of hushed discussion. Nodin’s eyes pull to his right, as if trying to see without turning his head. He does this when he’s communicating with Train and Emilet.
I glance at Baron, whose fiery gaze captures me, holding my eyes to his again. He’s sitting on the couch, elbows on his knees, not quite shoulder length hair framing his just-enough-scruff face. He has on a black, long-sleeved T-shirt that clings to his toned arms and chest. Jeans hug long, muscular thighs. Damn, even his hands look strong, and then I remember he’s a competitive rock climber, because my brother went to Canada once to see him climb in a big competition.
The urge to move near Baron is monstrous. I want to touch him again.
“Devi,” Ben says, his tone full of warning.
I suck in air and dart my eyes to him. I need to be careful around Ben. His psychic senses are highly alert right now. He looks away as Nodin pulls him back into discussion.
Heat burns in my cheeks as I sit down on the hearth. My gaze lifts back to Baron.
His eyes soften. “You alright?”
“I’m fine.”
“You have a ton of energy around you. I don’t know how you carry it with you all the time. Your aura is...” His eyes seem to follow my energy around the room. “Huge.”
“Is it?”
“You didn’t know?”
I shrug and shake my head. “Evidently, I know very little about myself.”
A low laugh rumbles in his chest. He runs his fingers along his scruffy jaw and looks back at me.
We gaze at each other in silence. It should be awkward, but it’s not. We’re too distracted by the sensations of the energy. I just stare, pulse pounding in my fingertips, painfully aware I look like hell wearing my brother’s clothes. Nodin and Ben finally re-join us.
“Are you gonna explain what just happened? Why could I hear all your thoughts?” I ask Ben.
He inhales deep, like he’s about to recite something he’s had to say a thousand times. “It’s called arcing. Your energy reacts to another strong field and spindles to a peak. When this happens it can umbrella out, or arc, and tap into the other sensitivities in the room. You connect to them and take on their abilities, read their thoughts, feel their feelings.”
I’m fascinated. “I can get inside anyone’s head if I arc?”
“No. You can’t read Normals. Only SAIs,” he says. SAI is an acronym for sensitive and intuitive, and is pronounced
sigh
. It’s a nickname started at CISC.
“Wait a minute, she just arced?” Baron asks.
Ben nods. “Until now, I thought only alpha energists could arc. No one else has that kind of react-able energy in their aura. I’ve never witnessed it before today. You probably have,” he says to Baron. “Isn’t your teacher an alpha?”
Baron, who had been transfixed on me, jerks his eyes away. “Yeah, yeah, he is. But I’ve never seen Hahn arc.”
“What the hell’s an alpha energist?” I ask. “And who’s Hahn?”
“Baron’s healing teacher,” Nodin says. “An alpha carries more aura than the average energy worker, and they’re so sensitive to energy they can see it.”
“That sounds like Baron. What’s the difference?”
“You want to take this, man?” Nodin nods at Baron.
“Sure.” Baron looks at me. “The difference is the ability to manipulate the energy. I can see it and affect the balance, like energists do, but I can also hold it, grow it, change its properties and propel it.”
I’m dizzy with excitement. Talking with other SAIs about our abilities is something I’ve never done in my life. “But I’m not an energist. Why am I able to arc?”
Baron looks above and around me again. “You have more aura than I’ve ever seen, way more than even Hahn, and it’s reacting to the charge we’re creating.”
“Yeah, what is this?” I gesture in the air. “Why is it happening?”
“Ever seen a plasma globe?”
“You mean the sphere you touch and little lightning bolts reach for your hand?”
He nods. “That’s us, basically. The energy around us becomes a charged field when we’re near each other. You’re the bolts of light that reach out for the hand on the surface of the globe. I’m the hand. It’s the nature of our gifts. You carry the energy. I receive it.”
It takes a second to inhale before I can speak. “But why? Is this common between runes and shapers?”
All eyes are on me, followed by awkward shifting.
“Devi, you don’t know?” Ben asks at last, his brows crushed together.
“Know what?”
“You’re not
a
rune.” He hesitates before continuing, “You’re
the
rune.”
His words settle in my bones like a sickness. “There are no others?” I whisper through a vacuum of sorrow.
“You’re the only one.”
I look at Nodin, who keeps his mouth shut, but the shame in his eyes tells me he knew. For the second time that day, confusion and rage ignite under my skin. I feel myself start to quake as I stand to unleash my disapproval on him, but the room starts spinning and goes black.
•◊•◊•
I blink rapidly. Through a clearing haze, I see Ben hovering over me.
“She’s awake. Seems all right.” Ben is fanning his hand in front of my face.
The rapid movement irritates me. I smack his hand away.
“Yeah, she’s definitely back to normal,” Nodin says.
I remember what led to my black out and set my jaw. “Nodin, I swear, if one more thing is kept from me I’m gonna lose it.” I sit up with a hand to my throbbing head, but it pales in comparison to how stupid I feel.
I resent needing all this explained to me, when I’m just as much a SAI as they are. I didn’t have the luxury of therapists and other intuitives to teach me the SAI lexicon. I feel like a fucking foreign exchange student.
Ben sits beside me and hands me a glass of water, which I sip. I can see Baron pacing by the hallway leading to the second bedroom.
“I’ve never passed out in my life. What the hell is going on?” I rub my hands over my eyes.
“It’s probably all the energy. It overwhelmed your system,” Nodin says.
“It’s probably all the bullshit,” I say.
“Look. I know how badly you want to know others like you.” He sits down with a sigh. “I just didn’t want to upset you.”
“Well, you’re going about it backward.” I glare at him. “It’s simple. Tell me everything.”
“Devi,” he says, so low it’s barely audible. “I’m finally able to tell you, but I don’t have all the answers. I don’t know how to do this without you hating me, but I had no choice in this. You
have
to understand that.”
He looks so sincere, so pathetic with his sad eyes, yet resentment lingers. “Then complete disclosure from here on out. Starting now,” I say, gentler. “What else is there? What does it mean that I’m the only one?”
Nodin nods at Ben. “You can block her?”
“Yep,” he says.
“First I want to clear something up.” Nodin looks me in the eye. “I know you’ve felt like the last person to know anything, but Baron didn’t know a thing about you until the ride up here, and even then it was only what’s relevant. And Ben, well, he’s Ben, he knows what he knows, but I’ve never once had a conversation with him about you until a few weeks ago. Understand?”
I nod.
“We know you’re the only one because there are no records of anything called a rune, or anything like you in the SAI community,” Nodin says.
“Then how do you know that’s what I am?”
“I’ve been told.”
“By your guides?” My tone has a deliberate bite.
“Yes,” he says, exhaling.
“Go on.”
“Train and Emilet were positioned with me to protect you from knowing what you are, and to guide you to the people you need.” He pauses. “All I’ve ever known is to keep your ability a secret. Two weeks ago, they told me it was time for you to meet Baron. They said you’re a rune and your ability has a purpose, but we have to figure it out.”
“Figure it out? How do we do that?” His words are just sounds carried on wavelengths, yet they hold the meaning of my entire existence. “Why can’t Train and Emilet tell me?”
“Because it was supposed to be passed down to you by our biological parents. They’re the only ones who know. Train and Emilet were chosen to get us this far. They are children, so it was easy for them to establish a bond with me when I was young and too naïve to know it was strange to see spirits. Devi, we have to find our blood relatives to learn the purpose of your gift. Ben will block what you learn.”
I turn to Ben. “You’re doing this blocking thing mentally?”
He nods.
“How?”
He shrugs off my question. “Long story.”
“Wait, who are we blocking? I still don’t understand.”
“Other SAIs, but I’m not entirely sure why,” Nodin says. “Yet.”
“This makes no sense.” I push my palms against my eyes. “Why can’t Ben just tell me what my purpose is? He’s freakin’ psychic.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” Ben says, “I rely on information given to me by Spirit, but I don’t have control over what I’m given. I can’t look into a magic ball and see the future. That’s all bullshit. As far as you’re concerned, I’m not being told anything.”
“Then how did you...” I gesture between his head and mine, wondering how he’s so aware of what I’m thinking.