He’s talking tribes, but that’s not what he’s thinking.
She’s beautiful,
I hear him say inside my head. Heat burns in my face and I can hardly think straight. I feel a little bad trespassing in his mind without his knowledge, but not bad enough to stop.
“I’ll see what I can research about them on my own until then,” I say.
“You can research all you want, but you won’t find anything online or in books, trust me.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s what I tried first. The reason Hahn is able to help me is because of his connections, because of who he is. He’s not just my teacher, he’s a spiritual guide and a scholar of ancient holistic practices. He’s travelled his whole life researching tribes. Campuses book him for conferences all the time; in fact, he knows your dad.”
“Seriously?”
“Well, sort of. Hahn spoke at your school two years ago. Your dad was on the panel. I remember him telling me he had met Nodin’s father.”
I recall a photo in my dad’s office, of himself shaking hands with a short Asian man with glasses, both smiling giant, goofy grins. Before I ask Baron what Hahn looks like, he pictures him and I see it. Same guy.
“The majority of info we got on the Tabari people came from a trip Hahn took to Panama where he visited a colleague who’s been studying them.” He’s rubbing his thumb over my hand. My heart is trying to break out of my ribs like a caged animal. It’s unnerving not being the one in control.
“Are you all right?” he says.
“I’m fine.”
He gives a little half-smile that kills me. I notice a necklace he’s wearing, a milky green stone hanging from a red thread. I reach for it, purposely losing contact with him to roll it around in my fingers. The stone feels cool and heavy. I look at him, prompting explanation.
“That’s peridot. Hahn gave it to me. It’s supposed to help the wearer balance energies.”
“Does it work?”
“I think so, yeah.”
I let the stone plop back against his shirt and point to another tattoo just above the red symbol for seven on his left forearm. “What’s this story behind this one?”
“It’s a Tabono—sometimes called The Paddles. It’s African.” His eyes don’t leave mine. “It represents strength and perseverance.”
I see another one on the inside of his right arm, just above his elbow. “That one? Is that a white bear paw?”
“No, it’s a Native American symbol for buffalo. In my vision, I see a white calf being born. When I researched it, I found that the birth of a white buffalo is considered sacred and prophetic to the Lakota Indians, symbolizing renewal and hope.” He pulls up his shirt, revealing the huge sun I saw on his torso earlier. “I got it done with this one. The Seven Rays sun was in the vision too. I initially just did the white calf hoof, but when the vision didn’t stop I looked harder. Next time I had the dream, I realized the whole vision played out under an immense sun with seven red rays.”
He lets his shirt drop back down and takes my hand in his again.
Her eyes are the prettiest blue I’ve ever seen,
he thinks.
It feels like my veins are pumping molasses and I can hardly look at him.
“What about the one on this shoulder?” I indicate a circular one peeking out from his sleeve.
More of his feelings infiltrate my mind. He’s also conflicted by the logic that we just met, combined with the intense bond and physical attraction. I swallow hard. He’s talking again, but I can’t concentrate on his words, enjoying watching his mouth move, until I realize he’s no longer speaking.
“Are you okay? Did I lose you?” he asks.
I pull my hand from his, cheeks burning. Although deliciously torturous, I can’t bring myself to touch him anymore. “No, no, I’m sorry. I’ve just...today’s been a lot to process.” The tension in the air is so thick it’s like another person in the room. I fumble with my charm bracelet, thinking of something to say. Finally, “Can I ask you a question?”
“Of course.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this at Nodin’s apartment? With the others?”
“It felt too personal. In a sense, you’ve been with me for years. And there you were tonight, in the flesh. It felt like I should tell you first.”
My protective wall splits in two. Large chunks fall away, leaving giant gaps in the facade.
I hear a tiny beep sound twice, indicating two in the morning. Baron looks at his watch and sighs. “I guess I better go. I do have a competition in the morning.” He stands to leave.
I’m both devastated and relieved as he gets his jacket and we walk to the door. “I’ll tell the guys about the symbols tomorrow,” he says, putting his jacket on as we walk across the lawn.
At his Jeep, he turns to me. A cold breeze brushes past me and I shiver. He opens his arms and I don’t consider hesitating. I wilt against him, warming, the energy thrumming.
His thoughts come trickling in, crumbling the last of my wall into a giant heap of dust.
I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave her.
The intimacy between us is completely illogical, but I give zero fucks. These feelings are new to me and thrilling, and I wouldn’t dare get off this ride.
He nuzzles his face in my hair. We stay like this for several minutes and I notice something feels weird. My muscles twitch with mounting tension and I don’t understand why.
“Something’s wrong,” I whisper, my hands balled into fists. “I feel...” I struggle to articulate it. “Hot and angry.” I step back and look at my hands. They’re shaking.
Baron looks around me. “I know. I see it. Your aura looks like a thunderstorm brewing.”
I wince. “That’s creepy. Why is it happening?”
”I have a hunch. Let’s try something. Stand back a minute. No touching.”
I do as he says. The energy gets erratic again, whirling around us like fireflies on cocaine and the pressure on my ears returns. I wait while he watches me, or around me, really. After a few minutes, he asks how I feel.
I exhale slowly. “Better, yeah.” I look down at my now steady hands. “But the energy between us is strong again.”
He nods. “I think I know what’s going on.” He pauses as if gathering his thoughts. “When we are touching, at first, you’re shades of yellow again because you’re doing what you’re made to do, you’re channeling. That’s why it feels so much better. Initially. After a few minutes, your energy is getting blocked, and evidently pretty pissed about it.” He looks around me.
“Why is it blocked?”
“Because I can only receive so much. There’s an interruption. Your body is trying hard to channel into an infinite space, but instead it’s flowing into a finite space: me.” He leans against his Jeep. “How does it feel when you’re with your tree?”
I take a deep breath. “Transcendent.”
“Exactly, because you’re channeling the energy somewhere—most likely back into the atmosphere—and you retain some, which is why your aura is freaking enormous.”
“So what does this mean?” I ask.
“Well, it means when we’re around each other, the energy will be chaotic and uncomfortable. And when we touch, it’ll feel great, but that’ll only last until the interruption of energy becomes a problem.”
“Can you do anything about it? You can alter energy, can’t you?”
Baron considers this for a minute. “I could try. I might be able to take some from you, calm it and return it. It wouldn’t work for long, but it could settle things down. Like putting a cup of cold water in a boiling pot. It’ll cool at first, but eventually it’ll be up to boiling again.”
“How do I look now?”
He takes my hands, and the pulses course through us like a river. “Yellow,” he says with a little grin.
“So it took at least five, six minutes for my energy to calm back to yellows, yes?”
“Seems about right.”
“How long would it take for you to do it?” I ask.
He shrugs. “You’re getting orange again, so let’s see. Relax. Take slow, easy breaths.”
“We’re doing it now?”
“Shhhh.” His eyes close and his face is serious. His hands hold mine.
I stay steady and calm like he asked, waiting. A warm whoosh of air rushes through me toward him, pushing me up onto my toes. I’m left with a strange feeling, like I’m standing inside an enormous cavern and if I yelled, it would echo. I watch him. The moonlight licks over his face and angled jaw. He looks sexy when he’s serious. Cold air blasts through me, from front to back, and I feel like myself again.
Baron opens his eyes and gazes first around me, then at me. “There. You look normal. For you. How do you feel?”
“Good, I think. Yeah. I feel relaxed.” Actually, I feel like I’ve taken a muscle relaxer. Drowsiness forces my mouth into a yawn.
He grins a little. “You won’t be for long if we stay like this.” He lets go of my hands. “Today’s been overwhelming. We’re both exhausted. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay, but I don’t think I’m going to see you until Sunday morning. I think you guys are going to some concert tomorrow night.”
“We’ll see.” A little smile curves his lips.
“Good luck at your competition.”
“Thanks.” He pulls his necklace over his head. “Take this. You need it more than me.”
“No, I’m not taking your stone.”
“Hahn can give me another. Trust me, take it.” He puts it over my head. The peridot plops against my chest, solid and cool. He tugs me close and holds his soft, warm lips to my forehead. I lean in, craving more, but with an abrupt turn he releases me and gets in his Jeep.
It takes a second to recover from the energy lashing at our hasty separation. I gather my wits and walk inside. Baron waits until I get in to pull away. I slump on the couch and hold the stone, rubbing the flat side with my thumb, grateful to have a part of him with me. The events of the evening swirl through my head.
I hear a car door slam, peek outside and see Jamie One and her girlfriend. I’m not in the mood for small talk, so I bolt to my room before they get to the door.
I toss for a while in bed before I’m able to fall asleep—hours where I can’t stop thinking about my name on Baron’s chest and the symbols, but more than that, how bad I want to kiss him.
•◊
6
ץ
BONDED
I
awake with a start, gasping, crying out for Nami. As the dream fades, I remember Baron told me my name is Peruvian. I wonder if the brown skinned woman with braids could be Peruvian. I look at my alarm clock and realize I have half an hour to get to work, and bolt out of bed.
“Women’s lit is on aisle four,” I say to the girl at the counter two hours later. She thanks me and walks away.
I’m curious how Baron’s climb went, but haven’t heard from anyone. I turn my attention to my computer, wanting to make use of my time and see if there are any books at my disposal for research. I know Baron said I wouldn’t find anything in books, but it beats just sitting here.
I search ancient Incan tribes and it sends me to several books under archaeology and anthropology. I jot down their titles and, seeing the store is relatively empty, head over to the anthropology section.
I scan the shelves and find one of the books. Flipping to the index I locate the Ts. I find nothing resembling Tabari.
I locate the other two on my list in the archaeology section and take them back to the front counter. One is a large, thick textbook. The other, a smaller paperback with lots of photos. I choose the smaller one first because the entire book is dedicated solely to Incan tribes. I flip to the back and search through the Ts, Baron’s stone dangling from my neck as I slump over the pages. There is nothing. I sigh, frustrated.
My cell phone rings. It’s Nodin.
“Hey, Devi.”
“Hey, what’s up?”
“Not much, do you have your truck back?”
“Yeah, I pick it up after work.”
“You need a ride?”
“No, it’s not that far. I can walk.”
“Seriously, when are you going to get more reliable transportation?”
I huff. “Shut up about my truck.”
“All right, whatever. What time do you get off?” he asks.
“Five-thirty.”
“Good. After you pick up your heap, you need to head over here. Baron called a meeting, says it’s important.”
“Okay. You don’t know what it’s about?”
“Nope. He wants to wait for you.”
“Oh, okay. By the way, how did his competition go?”
“Awesome. He won two of his three climbs.”
“Cool.” I’m jealous Nodin and Ben got to attend. It feels like I should’ve been there, too. “I guess I’ll see you a bit later.”
“See you then.”
Baron managed a way for us to be together after all. I smile and bite my lip.
My coworker arrives to take over until closing. I speed walk to the auto shop, my mind abuzz with anticipation. I pay for the repairs and push my faded red beater of a truck to its limit, racing to Nodin’s place, where I park and check my hair and makeup quick in the visor mirror.
When I enter the apartment, the air pressure and pull hit me like a shockwave. Ben is at Nodin’s laptop at the kitchen table to the right, and Baron is looking over his shoulder. I see him grip the back of the chair as I walk in.
“Hi,” I say, setting my things down by the door. I walk past Baron, suppressing the urge to reach out and touch him, and take a seat in the family room chair. I grab the peridot stone and stroke it with my thumb, hoping it’ll calm the energy. It doesn’t.
The guys look my way and return my hello. Baron gives me a half-smile, winks, and taps his chest.
He’s wearing grey sweat shorts and a faded orange T-shirt. He taps again, and I realize he’s indicating the necklace. If the guys see it they’ll know we’ve been together. I quickly tuck it into my shirt.
“So what’s this about?” Nodin asks.
“Last night, after you guys crashed, I called Devi.” He flashes me a quick, private wink and I know to go along with what he says.
Nodin and Ben glance at me, confused, and back at Baron. He continues with his story about the visions and subsequent tattoos, why he felt the need to talk to me about it first, and ends with matzo ball: my name on his chest. Baron pulls down the neck of his shirt to show them.
Nodin’s mouth drops, his eyes huge and rushing from mine to Baron’s and back to mine again, fumbling for words. “Whoa,” Ben says, awe etched on his face.