Our End Of The Lake: Surviving After The 2012 Solar Storm (Prepper Trilogy) (28 page)

“Get your old buffalo butt further over Jack. I can hardly drive with you hogging the seat.” I said trying to move his bulk with my skinny butt. Get up on the fender; come to think of it stay off the fender. Just hang one of those Hormel Christmas Hams you call your ass over the seat and lighten up on pulling my neck with you.” I said while trying to drive and share my seat with a walrus that resembled Ben Franklin.

“That’s better, I got left you got right sector.” I declared settling into our old habits of knowing what each other was doing at all times.

“Damn, this thing goes a lot faster than I thought, David.” Jack said as his borrowed floppy black beach hat was already trying to blow off his shiny head, as I tried to show the old beast’s top end off.

“I still feel like I am in a shooting gallery, but I got to admit, if we gonna go, what a way to go!” and moved the throttle to its final mechanical notch.

“Been a long time since we done some crazy shit, David”. Jack said with a Kool Aid pitcher smile.

“Too damn long.” I said enjoying every bit of the moment and tempted to acknowledge the few people we saw with a moon or something.

We bickered back and forth happily trying to share the old unpadded steel seat of the tractor all the way up to the muffler shop, where I backed in on the trailer for a snatch and get job, sort of like a repo man.

“I feel like I have been hit with one of those paddles with holes in it.” Jack griped, as he got down off the perforated old iron seat to hook up the trailer.

“Get that thing hitched and then give me a boost up in the truck bed inside the shop.” I said throwing the rumbling monster into neutral and watching carefully that the thing wouldn’t start rolling before I got off.

I carefully surveyed the interior of the shop through the open door before I entranced.
Shit I am sure I closed that door, before I left last time, I thought as I reached in my pocket for the .380
.

“Oh Shit, we got company!” I yelled to Jack, as I backed out the door and he dropped a handful of safety chains, while trying to draw the Astra and getting to the long guns sitting on the forward side of the trailer.

“No problems, No Problems! It was open. We not doing nothing!” a fearful voice called out, as Jack and I finally quit running over each other to get to our hardware.

“Well come on out then and be on your way!” I shouted back, as Jack and I remained in our defensive positions.

“You all own this place? I promise we were just looking around. You won’t shoot us will you?” Came the scared response.

“What do you think? Don’t do anything stupid and we can part peacefully.” I called back, trying to determine exactly where in the building the voice was coming from.

“We scared, we not stealing nothing mister. PROMISE ME you ain’t going to hold nothing against us.” A cracking voice called out.

“HOW MANY ARE YOU!?” I said in my best cop voice, while Jack kind of threw one hand up to dismiss any threat, but stayed on guard.

“Just us three.” and the door moved a bit.

“Well come on out, and do it slow.” I said in a normal voice, to which appeared three juveniles ranging in age from 14 to 17.

Jack stood up and uttered one word holding that ugly black rifle “GIT!” and sneaker smoke found its own way out of the area, as we grinned with relief to each other and went back to our own nefarious duties.

“Ok on three, give me a boost Jack.” I said as he cupped his hands to throw me up towards the bed of the truck and I scrambled in.
Oh shit that was lucky I didn’t land on the fully rigged fishing poles, I damn sure didn’t need a hook stuck in me about right now I thought
.

“I got two gas cans, a tackle box, a cooler and a tool box. Hang on a minute; let me see if this truck has keys to get in the tool box.” I said leaning over and grabbing the door latch and stepping out in to the open space between me and the floor to get inside the truck once again, NADAH and played squirrel to get back into the bed of the truck once again.

“I got 9 beers in this cooler, Jack! That’s got my name on them, but the water they in is kind of funky. Here take the tackle box.” I said trying to reach it down to him, but it was not happening.

“Hang on a minute.” I said while removing my belt and running it through the handle to lower a prize to him, and then went back to restudy the locks on the across the bed tool box.

“I heard that pop top! Drink the Damn beer later, David; let’s get the hell out of here.’ Jack said spoiling my thinking I had more time than I did.

“Ok I am coming. Shove that tool chest closer; I will land on it.” I said piling up my few trinkets and hooking my belt through a half empty and full 2 gallon duo of gas jugs to lower down, while still pondering if I should give those tool box locks a try.

“Man hurry up! That Tractor is out there running.” Jack reminded me and I lowered him the gas cans.

“Don’t get all prissy or go guard, I am coming.” and I stretched my frame to get back down to get to the tool chest.

THUNK! And a little webble wobble like a skateboarder or surfer and I dismounted the tool chest and rejoined my partner in loading our booty on the trailer and climbed up for the trip home.

Jack mounted up and off we went full steam ahead and back to fighting over the damn seat.

“I got to turn some lights on pretty soon Bud,” I said having problems making out the obstacles in our road.

“Want me to drive? I can do alright for a bit; but you are right, it’s getting difficult to see.” Jack said looking into the gloom.

“Here.” I said producing the Photon light on my key ring you can run out front and guide the way.” I said alluding to the way it was done with the horseless carriages in the past.

“You ain’t right, David.” Jack said seeing the humor in it; but still squinting and flinching, as I slowed or speeded up around a maze of disabled cars that had somehow become invisible at this hour.

I guess it didn’t help that the blindest of us all started singing “Grandma got run over by a Reindeer” as he zipped along with occasional near misses, until he throttled the tractor down to a walking pace.

“Damn you Jack, you made me forget the Beer.” I said turning towards Sherry’s house.

“Thank God for small miracles.” he began to say, before my elbow corrected him good naturedly for his opinion of my loss of free adult beverages.

“Let me call on the radio and tell Lois and your Mom, we ok and be there in the morning; unless you feel like dancing in the darkness some more.” Jack said knowing I had already relocated my glass.

“Save the battery and talk quick.” I suggested and backed the trailer in to the quandary of not hiding the tractor any more, because I couldn’t have both choices.

“Screw it, I bet nobody but you knows how to start one of those damn things anymore anyway.” he said swinging down and smiling for the ladies like a returned hero.

“Jacks back.” He quipped to small pats from the girls passing him by on the way and surround sound for me, as a zillion questions came up I couldn’t answer all at once.

“We stay the night.” I managed to get out, before Sherry started shoving me towards the house; and Jack came back out the backdoor pushing a drink towards me, and telling me to shut up with a grin. “Well mission accomplished Folks! Salute!” and took a swig from my drink and motioned with my finger in the air I had more to say.

“Tomorrow, we knock the boards off those raised beds and build benches on that trailer. Jack do me a huge favor and bring the crank back from that tractor this way. Sherry, help me figure out where all you got preps stashed and the space you require to load them.” I said, while taking the wind out of everybody’s sails much to their dismay.

“I am sorry guys; tonight we just have fun ok?” I said and the smiles and happy babbles went back to normal. Betsy was extra nice to everyone and even made the stranger in her world, Jack, feel at home by accommodating his different sense of humor and playful picking at folks he didn’t really know.

“You got enough sheets to cover that thing, when we get it out on the road, like an old Conestoga wagon going across the plains? I suggest and every one starts making suggestions at once. Sherry took center stage by saying we could cover it with two military ponchos, if it rained, but they would be much to hot by themselves, so we should just throw them over some white sheets when weather threatened.

Betsy suggested having the ponchos rolled on the sides for immediate deployment, if a storm threatened and Sandra said there was some PVC pipe at her old house not far away, which would be perfect to support the improvised awning, if we would go get it.

All in all it was a very positive and productive party that ended well.

Honeybees

“Jack wake up, smells like chow.” I said poking the grumpy old bear next to me.

“Huh? What? Food! I am awake.” Jack said doing a Houdini flourish with his sheet.

“Smells like bacon? Is it bacon flavored Spam?” the old bald grizzly said flexing his nose.

“We got canned bacon, but I doubt Sherry is wasting it yet.” rubbing the grit from driving the tractor out of my eyes.

“Hey, get back here! I said to my food exuberant minion.

“You are tactical now, never leave your weapon.” I said motioning towards the HiPoint carbine and trying to make sense out of a day I was not ready for yet.

“Got ya, sorry.” he said grabbing it and still hurrying twice as fast towards the backyard’s enticing smells, almost running over Sherry in the process.

“Hey sweetie,” Sherry said, while dodging the lumbering chow hound headed out to investigate the aroma’s origins.

“Made you a lumberjack breakfast; you got work to do today.” she beamed at me, knowing breakfast was the one meal that took me a lot of consideration after an all-nighter.

“That’s nice, thanks.” not really meaning it and smiling, as I heard Jack being told to get away from the cook fire by Betsy.

“I am up, what time is it?” I asked and grabbing the Henry survival rifle and leaning it in the corner.

“7:30. I knew you wanted up early.” Sherry chirped, while I mentally cussed whoever distilled what I drank last night, and took umbrage at her being so chirpily happy this early in the morning and hoping against hope she would cease her non stop banter.

“We do still have coffee right?” thinking I would have the royal ass, if the preps we’d bought got used up and not replaced over time.

“Of course.” Sherry replied, looking quite put out I had not received her warm morning greeting with more pleasantries.

“It’s outside on the stove.” Where upon Sherry turned to see what the others were up to outside.

Damn, David, you getting old
. I thought, as I stretched to get rid of the kinks of a hard floor and manhandling shit around from yesterday.

I grabbed the little rifle and went bleary eyed outside and saw Jack had already finished a half of a plate.

“Morning.” I managed to cough out and avoiding watching Jack grazing on his pancakes dripping with what I assumed was Ghee. (Clarified Butter)

“Wake up and piss, the worlds on fire, you old heathen.” Jack said nudging me in my hangover state.

“You the one that taught me my bad drinking habits before you quit, you old Rummy.” I managed to snarl out dolefully.

“Yes, but no more.” the walking garbage disposal chided me and grinned at my discomfort.

I couldn’t think of anything particularly nasty to assign him to, so I just ignored him for a bit.

Sherry tried to interest me in a plate of decent food, but unpalatable for the moment.

“Where’s my framing hammer, Darlin?” I wondered, while trying to choke down a piece of the breakfast and looking towards Sherry.

“Damn, I cannot figure out how you survive!” Sherry said and went to get it, while mad about me not eating much.

I started knocking apart raised bed boxes, while I think Jack was on thirds by now, and I overheard him telling the women not to worry about me, because ‘that is what he does’, before he finally wandered out to lend a hand.

“I envision benches all the way round the trailer, but all we got to cut this wood with is a couple of different types of Bow Saw.” I told him.

“How tall you want the legs?’ He said ready to pitch in now.

“I guess about a foot or so, go get somebody to play model sitting.” I said grinning, but feeling evil with sweat running off my nose.

“Will do.” and he turned to leave.

“That one saw I got has a meat cutting blade, as a choice of three, do not use that one.” I said returning to my task of dismantling the things without tearing them up. I finished up every box within the hour and went to see what Jack was up to.

“Shit, Jack! That’s a hacksaw blade.” I said studying his work.

“It cuts finer than cross cut. I figured we were playing craftsman.” He said weighing the options of making excuses versus not knowing what the hell he was doing.

“Jack just rip cut it, we are not making a piano. Speed today is more important than fancifying the darn thing.” I said giving him an out, and so he would quit gumming up and dulling our only hacksaw on that treated pine.