Authors: Philip Roth
when the police vans returned this morning to
take them away, many of the boys were reluctant
to leave the campsite. So anxious were some to
spend another night under the stars, and away
from the so-called "comforts" of civilization such
as medical attention, lawyers, telephones and
food, that it was necessary for the police to chase
after them and literally drag them off the premises
and into the waiting trucks. With fewer and
fewer opportunities available to our youth for
"roughing it," this administration naturally takes
pride in what we were able to do for these
youngsters last night. Moreover, we have given
them every assurance that if and when they ever
come to Washington again, we will make every
TRICKY ADDRESSES THE NATION 123
effort to provide them with the same facilities, or
ones even more primitive, if we can find any.
Now I know that many of you out there across
the country are asking yourselves why I should be
making such a generous offer to the Scouts. Why do
I praise them for their behavior at the campsite?
Why am I willing to forgive these youngsters and
give them another chance to make a decent start in
life? It must seem to those of you who saw the
Scouts waving their signs here in the streets of the
nation's capitalsigns offensive and insulting not only
to me but, what is far worse, to my innocent familythat
I more than anyone have a right to harbor a
grievance against these ten thousand Boy Scouts;
and particularly against the three who are now dead
and will never be able to come to me like
responsible children and apologize for trying to
smear my reputation. Why, you may ask, am I so
compassionate, judicious, charitable, tolerant and
wise, when it was my very own political career that
stood to be most damaged by these signs?
Well, those are good and intelligent questions. Let
me try to answer them as forthrightly as I know
how.
My fellow Americans, it is as simple as this
(quickly
passes a sponge over his upper
lip and slips
it back
into his breast pocket): I would
124 OUR GANG
rather be a one-term President than carry a grudge
against a lot of twelve- and thirteen-yearold
American kids. Oh sure, somebody else might try to
make political capital out of a vendetta against these
youngsters, calling them hoodlums and bums and
rotten apples, but I am afraid I am just too big a
man for that. As far as I am concerned, these boys
have learned their lesson, as they proved at the
campsite; and that goes for the three dead Scouts as
well. Even if those three dead boys don't come and
apologize, as far as I am concerned the past is past
and I for one am willing to forgive and forget. For
make no mistake about it: while it is true that I am
strongly opposed to permissiveness, I am just as
opposed to vindictiveness. I no more believe in
punishing a wrongdoer to excess than I would
subscribe to the liberal philosophy that allows a
criminal to go merrily on his way, after he has
committed a crime.
But of even greater importance, I just don't think
we ever cure a disease by treating one of its
symptoms. Rather, we must get to the cause of the
illness. And certainly you know as well as I do, that
the cause of America's problems is not the Boy
Scouts of America. Nobody is ever going to believe
that, and that is why I don't even attempt to make a
case for it.
No, the Boy Scouts of America:-and I think this
will come as a relief to all of you-are no
TRICKY ADDRESSES THE NATION 125
more guilty of anything than you are or I am. They
are just another group of American youngsters who
have fallen prey to that small dedicated band of
malcontents and revolutionaries who are out to
destroy our country by destroying our most
important natural resource of all, our wonderful
youth. And unless we cut these sources of contagion
from our society as swiftly and thoroughly as we
would excise a cancer from a living body-and I
know we are all united in our opposition to cancer,
Democrats and Republicans alike-this disease that
has spread even to the Boy Scouts will grow in
virulence until it has infected every last child in the
land, including your own. And so long as I am
President, I am not going to stand idly by while the
children of this country come down with cancer,
leukemia, or, incidentally in that connection,
muscular dystrophy.
No, it is not the Boy Scouts of America, but the
man who incited them to this riot by tampering with
their morals who must be made to take the
punishment that comes to all who would corrupt
the youth of our nation. And that man, my fellow
Americans, is the very same fugitive for whom the
Pro-Pornography government in Copenhagen is
providing refuge at this moment.
Now I cannot divulge to you over nationwide
television the overwhelming evidence compiled by
the justice Department and the FBI, linking
126 OUR GANG
Charles Curtis Flood to the uprising of the Boy
Scouts. We all know, however, the tremendous
influence that major league baseball players have
over the minds and hearts of the young boys of this
nation. I am sure that anyone who remembers how
he himself idolized the great ballplayers of his
youth, will not even need the evidence in order to
imagine just how Charles Curtis Flood might misuse
and mislead these boys for his own subversive ends.
I am afraid that is all I can say to you tonight
about the evidence proving Flood's guilt. As one
who has practiced law, I am particularly sensitive to
the Constitutional rights which every defendant is
entitled to. And I certainly do not intend to
endanger the chances of a conviction by appearing
to try this fugitive on nationwide TV. Once he is
returned to America, he will be entitled to a fair
trial, despite what he has done, and by a jury that
has not been prejudiced against him by so august a
person as the President of the United States of
America.
Right now, as your President, my duty is to do
everything within my power to see that this fugitive
from justice is returned to our shores. Of course, we
have never expected of Flood that he would
voluntarily leave his sanctuary in Denmark, given
the kinds of pleasures such a man might feel free to
pursue in a 'Country with customs that are hardly
those of our own. And if
TRICKY ADDRESSES THE NATION 127
Flood is incapable of tearing himself away from his
pleasures so as to face the consequences of his
vicious actions, neither has the Pro-Pornography
government in Copenhagen done anything whatsoever
to force him to surrender himself to the
proper authorities for extradition. On the contrary,
they have rejected out of hand every legitimate
request we have made of them. Even now, with the
American Army massed on their borders, the
American Navy blockading their coast, and the
American Marines firmly in control of "Hamlet's
Castle," they continue to provide him with the
same protection from the law that they provide to
pornographers and filth peddlers from around the
globe.
I know that in the face of such profound
contempt for American power and prestige, the
great majority of Americans would agree that I
have no choice but to order our troops onto
Danish soil so as to establish the D.A.R. as the
freely elected government in Copenhagen. However,
I want to tell you this: because of my Quaker
background, I have, only two hours ago, made one
last valiant effort to bring about a peaceful
resolution of our differences with Denmark. I am
going to conclude my address to you tonight by
recounting in some detail the nature of that effort.
It is a story of bravery and devotion to country that
every American will be proud of. It is a story that
will convince the entire world how
128
OUR GANG
very far this great nation has gone in its attempt to
avoid the armed confrontation that the state of
Denmark seems committed to forcing upon us.
My fellow Americans, only two hours before
coming on television to address you, I gave the
order, as Commander-in-Chief of the Armed
Forces meeting his responsibilities, for a fleet of
helicopters to make a surprise landing on the large
Danish island of Zealand at a spot right here
(points), only twenty nautical miles from the capital
of Copenhagen.
Now I realized how dangerous such a gallant
humanitarian effort might be. So did the brave
Green Berets and Rangers who volunteered to
carry it out. Not only would they have to fly in at
treetop level to avoid detection by the Danish radar
system, but there was no precise way of telling the
exact size of the arsenal that Flood had managed to
assemble, with the approval, if not the outright
assistance, of the Danish government. Would he
resort to poison gas? Would he dare to employ
tactical nuclear weapons? There was no way in
which our aerial photography could penetrate this
man's skull, to see just
how
far he would go in
violating the written and unwritten rules of warfare.
But in that reconnaissance by satellite, as well as
by manned and drone aircraft, h t l established
beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was where
TRICKY ADDRESSES TIM NATION
129
the fugitive was in hiding; and in that I also knew
that there was no way to force the Danish
government to return Flood to the United States,
short off the armed conflict which I am so opposed
to as a Quaker, I proceeded to give the order
for this raid to take place.
Designed to capture Flood, remove him by
helicopter to Elsinore, and hence by military jet to
America, the mission was named, by me, Operation
Courage, and assigned to joint Contingency Task
Force Derring-Do.
It is with deep pride, my fellow Americans, that I
can now tell you that Operation Courage has been
carried out to perfection, exactly in accordance with
the meticulously rehearsed schedule drawn up
beforehand.
First off, the dangerous flight from Elsinore to
the landing site was made in twenty-two minutes
and fourteen seconds, precisely according to the