Read Our Husband (a humorous romantic mystery) Online
Authors: Stephanie Bond
the house snapped, crackled, and popped at night, she was comforted by his presence in the bedroom down the hall. A sudden
swell of affection crowded her chest. She marveled that the tables had turned, that she was the troubled one and he, the
composed one. A simple truth hit her—in a world where she could be arrested for murder, Tony could certainly make it
through law school.
"When will you see Masterson again?" he asked.
"He and I are meeting Thursday morning so I can take a polygraph test."
"Damned unpredictable machines."
She nodded against the headrest. "Masterson tried to talk me out of it, but I insisted."
"By the way, did you let him know you were making this little trip?"
"I didn't think it was necessary."
He grunted, signaling that she'd made yet another mistake in her new role as an outlaw.
She lifted her head. "I still can call him."
"And if he told you not to go?"
Natalie sighed. "I'd go anyway."
"Then don't call."
She lay her head back again, content to obey, loath to converse. But when the Cherokee weaved across the centerline,
eliciting a staccato honk from an oncoming car, she grabbed the armrest. "Do I need to drive?"
"Sorry," he said, his face sheepish. "My license was reinstated while I was in the halfway house, but I'm still adjusting."
Of course—he hadn't driven in two years. She stared at the inky black cross on his left forearm, trying to imagine a place
where the days were long enough to provoke self-tattooing. "What did you miss most?"
He grinned. "Besides women? A private bathroom. And Big Macs."
"Well, that explains all the take-out bags."
"And I thought of you pretty often. The care packages were always the highlight of my month."
She swallowed hard, concentrating on the dashboard. Paltry snacks and toiletries and magazines—why hadn't she sent
them every week?
He laughed. "My cellmate Coolie wanted to marry you."
Her own laugh was hollow. "Little did we all know, I was single." Then she sobered. "Was it terrible?" A practical
question, considering she might be cooling her heels in a similar facility soon.
"Ah, most of the time it wasn't too bad," he said, his voice philosophic. "Coolie would freak out occasionally—Granada
invasion flashbacks—and when the weather was bad, we missed rec time in the yard. But I got caught up on my reading, and I
taught myself Spanish."
"Really?"
"
Si
,
señorita
." He grinned, and she decided with his dark good looks, the language would suit him. And serve him well if
he someday practiced law.
When
he someday practiced law. She had allowed Raymond to convince her that Tony was a lost
cause. Remorse coursed through her, binding her chest. "I'm sorry I didn't visit, Tony."
His mouth twitched. "I'm sorry I missed Rose Marie's funeral, although I have a feeling she would have somehow
channeled one last reprimand through the minister."
"She wanted more for you. So did I."
"You always could see only the best in people."
"To a fault, obviously."
"Were things bad between you and Raymond?"
She sat up. "Not bad, a little stale maybe. That's what makes this whole thing so hard to swallow. I sensed he was
becoming more distant, but I never imagined..." Natalie studied her wedding ring. It had become a band of fiery lead on her
finger, but she hadn't been able to bring herself to take it off. A form of denial, she knew. Denial that the man she'd fallen in
love with was an elaborate illusion. An illusion that she had bought into because it was easier to believe than to get close
enough to him to discover his demons.
Easier at first. When his breezy charm and superficial small talk had begun to wear thin and she'd pushed for more
intimacy and depth in their marriage, he had retreated. Retreated to Ruby, she realized now, whose demands were undoubtedly
less complicated. Determined not to cry, she inhaled deeply. "He should have just told me he wanted a divorce."
Tony hummed his agreement. "But a bigamist gets off on the thrill of deceit. I knew a guy in lockup who had eleven wives
scattered all over the country. Swore he loved them all, said he got jazzed by the thought of all those women waiting for him to
come home."
Her stomach rolled. "That's absolutely prehistoric."
"Yep." His laugh surprised her. "He had as much sex as he could handle, but the guy also had high blood pressure, ulcers,
insomnia, and migraines. Said prison was an absolute relief."
She had to smile. "He's in prison for bigamy?" Masterson told her that offenders were almost never prosecuted, an
appalling statistic.
"No, the guy was running an auto theft ring. And he's in no hurry to get out, since all his women found out about each other.
Hell hath no fury and all that jazz."
Women could be just as vengeful as men, she agreed. Perhaps more so, when their hearts had been compromised. Which
was why she made such a likely suspect. Beatrix was too harsh, Ruby was too naïve. To Detective Aldrich, she must seem like
the just-right candidate.
Natalie turned to the window and watched the landscape slide by, the burgeoning foliage a blur of lime green and pale
yellow. Birds swooped in multiples, some invisible radar system allowing them to remain in perfect synchronization. Clouds
shifted, forming tomorrow's weather. Time marched on, just as if her life hadn't been ripped at the seams.
"What are you thinking?" Tony asked.
She spun the ring on her finger. "I'm wondering what would have happened if Raymond had lived."
"You'll make yourself crazy if you play that game."
Natalie chewed on the inside of her cheek, wondering when her brother had gotten so smart.
He reached over to squeeze her hand, surprising her. "Don't worry, sis. Things will work out."
Ah, the optimism of an unindicted person. But she squeezed back.
"So tell me about this girl Ruby," he said, sounding very lawyerlike.
Gorgeous, pregnant, gorgeous. "The newspaper said enough, I believe."
"Yeah, but do you think she killed Raymond?"
"I don't think Ruby could kill anything but time."
"Well, if you didn't do it, and she didn't do it, that only leaves the old broad—what's her name?"
"Beatrix."
"Yeah. Think
she
killed him?"
Natalie lifted her head. "She was certainly bitter enough throughout the funeral to warrant suspicion, but when I called her
last night with the list that Butler gave me—"
"Of the stuff that Raymond hocked?"
She nodded. "It was strange. She seemed almost protective of Raymond, as if she didn't believe he would steal from her,
even after... even after."
"So?"
"Well, I'm no expert, but she didn't react like a murderess."
"And how would that be?"
"Well, I don't know—cynical... vengeful. She sounded embarrassed."
"Maybe she's a good actress."
Natalie bit her lip. "Maybe."
"She had a shitload of motive—she found out her husband had married two other women."
"Not to mention the life insurance money."
"Even better," he said, his enthusiasm growing. "Why not arrest
her
?"
"Maybe because I had a shitload of motive, too. Being angry that he married two other women could also apply to me, plus
I'm the beneficiary of a life insurance policy on Raymond. And the ICU log incorrectly reflects me being alone with Raymond
—Masterson is working on that angle—and don't forget the ouabain."
"Okay, the drug thing." He scratched his head. "Well, hell, if Rose Marie can grow it, can't other people?"
"Trust me, Beatrix isn't the gardening type. Besides, she only found out about me and Ruby when she got to the hospital.
She would've had to be carrying the poison with her to kill him at the hospital."
"Maybe she already knew about the two of you and was only waiting for an opportunity to off Raymond."
Interesting theory. "But she seemed as surprised by the bigamy as Ruby and I were."
"Like I said, maybe she's a good actress."
"Maybe." She pressed on her temples. Why was she having to perform these mental gymnastics? Weren't the
police
supposed to pursue justice?
"Headache?"
"Yeah."
"Hungry?"
"Not really."
"Oh, come on. I see golden arches up ahead. Let's get something for the drive."
She laughed. "Okay, maybe a milkshake."
When they left the drive-through, Tony abandoned the subjects of Raymond and the other wives and the charges against her
to reminisce about their childhood.
"Remember the tree house we built?"
"Sure I do." Their daytime play dwelling and nighttime hiding place when their father drank and their parents fought. At
puberty, Tony had tired of the child's hiding game and hit the streets looking for trouble, leaving Natalie to huddle alone in the
tree house beneath a moldy quilt, reading Judy Blume books by flashlight.
"Wonder if it's still standing?" he asked, his voice almost wistful.
Neither one of them had returned to their childhood homestead in the distant suffocating Missouri town in years, not since
the death of their mother. "Probably, if the tree is still standing."
"Wow, that seems like a lifetime ago."
"It was." And adulthood was supposed to be better than this. "I took white poinsettias to the cemetery last Christmas."
"How was the grass? You know how Dad was about his lawn."
"No bare spots."
"That's nice." Tony swallowed a mouthful of hamburger, then shifted in his seat. "I've never told you, Nat, but I really
admire what you've done with your life."
She stared at him. "My life is a train wreck."
"No.
My
life is a train wreck. Did a lot of thinking in the joint. You threw yourself into your books, and I threw myself into
the gutter."
"Neither of us wanted to be at home," she murmured.
"I know. You knocked yourself out trying to please them, and I knocked myself out trying to make them angry."
"And neither one of us succeeded," she said, fighting a bittersweet pang.
His laugh was humorless. "They were too wrapped up in their own misery to notice us."
"I was fortunate to have Aunt Rose Marie."
"Yeah, she was a good old gal. Did you know she wanted you to go live with her?"
Natalie blinked. "No."
"When you were thirteen. I heard Mom and Dad fighting about it. Dad thought it was a good idea, but Mom had a fit. Said
she needed you at home."
Needed her. Not loved her and wouldn't consider letting her daughter live elsewhere. Needed her to do chores and keep
the house running smoothly. "Mom had problems."
"Yeah—Dad."
"Although she did seem to have more energy after he passed away." Which must have been too much of a shock to her
lethargic system, considering she'd succumbed to a stroke mere months later. Natalie drew deeply on the straw in her
milkshake to counter the moisture gathering in her eyes.
"Damn shame the way they wasted their lives," he said. That's why I decided to get my ass back in school. I already
finished nine college credit hours."
"That's great, Tony." She turned what felt like her first genuine smile in ages in his direction. "If I get out of this mess, I'll
help you all I can."
He shook his head. "
When
you get out of this mess, all I want is your moral support."
A stab at being a sister again was a surprising silver lining in the dark cloud hovering over her. For the rest of the drive,
she asked questions about his goals, trying to distract herself from the memory of driving this route only days ago, poised to
confront Raymond with knowledge of his debt, only to walk into an emotional ambush.
But the gray-and-navy hospital loomed innocuously. Early Sunday afternoon traffic consisted of families visiting loved
ones and new parents going home, bouquets and balloons abundant. She stared at one pink-cheeked mother, her arms full of a
blanketed baby, and Natalie's mind fast-forwarded to Ruby holding Raymond's daughter or son. She wanted to hate the unborn
baby, but the infant couldn't be blamed for the stain surrounding its conception.
Her eyes burned as she and Tony walked into the emergency waiting room. So familiar. So nauseating. The strawberry
milkshake was getting its second shaking for the day within the walls of her stomach.
As luck would have it, the admissions nurse was the same woman who'd given her directions to Raymond's room a few
nights ago. Of course, now she realized the woman had been acting so strangely because she'd already given directions to two
other women who claimed to be his wife. Now, as she approached the woman, heat rushed to her face.
"May I help you?" the nurse said automatically, then squinted, as if she recognized Natalie. Two seconds later, she did
recognize her, no doubt boosted by the media coverage. "You're that doctor—"
"Was Ruby Carmichael brought here a while ago?" Natalie cut in.
The woman floundered for a few seconds before confirming that Ruby had been brought to the hospital.
"Is she still here?"
"Let me check," the nurse said, then yanked up the phone, stabbed in a number, and turned her back for a hurried, hushed
exchange. When she hung up, she said, "Ms. Carmichael is still here."